Sasuke's Itchy Butthole, by Dickfart

So some bullshit happened.

First Sasuke Uchiha was born, a cruelty unto itself when you consider how much the Leaf Village fucking sucks. It sucks so bad, I'mma just go ahead and call it Ohio instead. For there is no insult more damning and shameful on this earth than the word Ohio. Subgenres of Ohio, such as Ohio Football, Ohio Voters, Ohio Weather, and Ohio Drivers Failing to Merge are also deeply offensive on a global level, and there are votes being cast worldwide plotting the ban of Ohio and Ohio-related things.

OK, I'm wrong. There is one place in the Universe worse than Ohio.

Tumblr.

So Sasuke Uchiha was born on Tumblr, which at the time was known as Ohio until the little SJW trolls decided to write ten thousand word discourse on why that was PROBLEMATIC as there were vague references to mummy's toes, her bare toes, so rape culture too! So yeah. This is the fucking world Sasuke's bitch parents conceived him and his brother in.

If that wasn't bad enough, he was gay. Like, full gay. Like, a solid fucking seven on Kinsey's scale. He was beyond campy gay, bara gay, yaoi gay, although he was never gay gay, for he is never gay, but he is hella fuckin' gay.

Sasuke Uchiha is gay. He likes dick. He licks Naruto's dick when he "accidently" falls on it. Rock Lee's, too.

They have tales of gay erotica, and their gay teacher, Cockashi, gays along with them. Sakura just cries or something.

Until one day de durp pa derp pa derp pa der, starring ROB SCHNEIDER in South Park.

Oh wait

So one day Sasuke got hella high in his school basement, and some fucking Voldemort hippy ass pedophile gave him a MASSIVE FUCKING HICKY.

And he named it

Sally

"Oh shit where my bowl at," say Sasuke.

"Sasuke, dear, you smoke too so much weed," said Sakurba

"No."

And he shoved her unconscious body into a closet.

And he join the Voldemort. Say he give that old fuck head if he give him super power.

Voldy was thirst for Sasoogay, but he never get his dick sucked, cuz he die.

"Shit suck," said Saucykaykay. He take Tessusaiga and shove it up Itachi ass.

"That's the name of my dick by the way."

Ha ha made you read incest.

Nah, just kidding. It weren't incest.

BECAUSE IT WAS AN ILLUSION.

"Foolish little brother. You lost your virginity to a log."

"AHHHH MY DICK HAS SPLINTERS!"

He ran into a tree head first and fell unconscious.

He decided he wanted to be Hokagay.

"I'm back," said Sasuke. "I'll be Hokage."

"Son, you done did too many stupid for that," said Naruto.

"Fuck you," said Sasuke, and they fought to the death.

His dying words were.

"DON'T NAME LOG AND MINE'S BABY SALAD!"

Meanwhile, Saitama was picking his nose, and the booger containing the microscopic world of Tumblr Ohio Konoha was promptly crushed into the carpet.

"Master, that's gross," said Genos.

"I can't find the tissues," said Saitama, picking another booger out. This time, he ate it, like Light ate that potato chip that one time in whatever stupid animu that was.

The End