Verisimilitude

By gure

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Comments: After I wrote this, I realized just how bad it was. One day I will revise it until I'm content with it, but for now, anyone reading this will have to suffer along with me in the knowledge that this is one horrible piece. ~_~;;

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Chapter 1: Lost (Naruto)

He hated him.

That annoying arrogant smirk. His all-knowing gaze. His deep unfathomable eyes. His ebony hair and pale complexion. How all the girls flocked around him, cooed over him as if he were some god. How he coolly ignored them. For some reason, that always pissed him off. He hated him! He hated that arrogant bastard who looked down on him, called him names, and made him look worse than he already was! They mocked him, threw insults at him, and the idiot only made it worse. It made him feel more insecure, more worthless, and entirely useless. He despised those emotions. He wanted to kill those feelings, to stomp on them until they never came back, to take them head on and stab it over and over again. But at the same time, he just wanted to forget, to ignore them until they stopped hurting him. And he knew. He knew that it was quite futile to compare himself with Sasuke, as he always found himself falling woefully short. It was pathetic. And he had always said he would defeat all odds and become the Hokage, when he couldn't even compare himself to Sasuke. They were right. He was all talk, all bravado, with no sustenance to back himself up.

            Depressed, Naruto slumped further into the mattress of his bed. It was always about 'Sasuke, Sasuke-kun' and never about him. He was an outcast, a monster, an orphan, a loner. Was he really that unworthy? Was he really as monstrous as people said? Naruto felt a lump in his throat. He hated it when he got like this. Depressed, useless, alone. And it would always happen deep in the night when sleep claimed everyone else. It always happened when everything was consumed in shadows. Naruto shivered under the thin threadbare sheets and hid his face in his pillow. It was during the night he realized what a freak he really was. He was a part of the Kyubi, just as the Kyubi was a part of him. He couldn't do anything about that. But it was lonely being alone with his thoughts, especially at night when he had only the shadows to accompany him.

           Maybe he should run over to Iruka-sensei's house and sleep there, where there would at least be a familiar someone. But he didn't want to bother Iruka-sensei who already did so much for him, more than anybody else had ever done for him in his life. Naruto briefly considered stopping by at Sasuke's place, but scolded himself immediately afterwards. Sasuke was his rival! He hated that guy! He wasn't supposed to have anything to do with that jerk! Sighing, Naruto finally decided to train some more. He might as well do something if he couldn't sleep, and training more would help him get closer to Sasuke's level. Slowly climbing out of the bed, Naruto cautiously looked around, the darkness no hindrance to his extremely keen eyes. Pupils dilated, Naruto carefully dressed and then went out the front door. It was cold outside, as the nights in the village were wont to be, extremely cold nights and relatively warm days. He bounded into the direction of the forest and settled himself several miles away from the village and trained.

The training continued night after night.