I know it's too much to ask but I'd really appreciate it if you said what you think about my story just so I know should I continue or stop and never dare to write ever again. I'm planning on this to develop into so many directions but you can see where I'm going with it...
And I hope you'll excuse me for all the grammar mistakes I made.
Walking down these halls will never be the same, he knew that. He used to love this place, it meant everything to him. His salvation when he needed it, it gave him hope and a meaning. This is the place where he met his friends and where he enjoyed in all the perks of being a wizard, living in a magical world. Sometimes he thought about it, but never said it out loud because it seemed too selfish and ungrateful, what would his life look like if the burden of being The Boy Who Lived wasn't on his chest? What if he was just a normal wizard? He was never able to control his thoughts and was really upset when he started to fantasise about an ordinary life as an ordinary wizard, because, he was offered a chance to be a better person, they helped him get away from the place he hated most, away from people who never understood him and disliked him because of a thing he couldn't change. They never realized how much their behavior affected him. Or maybe they did, just didn't care. The first time he let a drop of his blood flow because of their actions was at a very young age, and when he looks back he can't say it was the result of one particular event, no. It was because of everything they did before and he couldn't handle it. How did he even got the idea? Just like everything else in his life, there wasn't a special reason or a great idea that just jumped in his head. After being told and showed about his insignificance, he started to believe it himself. He pretended to understand why they hated him, started to hate himself, find excuses for their behavior and his bruises and cuts he began to enjoy looking at, knowing he deserved them. Now, many years after, he still hates himself and thinks he deserves all the bruises and cuts but not the one they gave him but the ones he gets in a battle and the ones he gives himself.
When coming to Hogwarts he began to feel guilty. He didn't know why but everything seemed to be his fault. Voldemort's constant attacks, so many deaths, so many tears. It was getting worse with every year he came back. Every death he heard about and read about in the papers, caused by The Death Eaters was piercing his soul slowly, making it bleed. He never realized why were people around him. He was such a waste of space, the one who was to blame for everything. Now he knew why Dumbledore was so nice to him, why everyone from The Order seemed to care about him. He was just a tool. And he would lie if he said it didn't hurt a little bit. For a moment he started to believe he had friends and people who cared about him and then everything crashed right before him. He never cried or told someone about it, his only reaction was a sad smile, a smile of expectation when he realized everything he thought about himself ever since he could remember, everything people in his childhood told him was true. How could he be so blind? How couldn't he see the annoyance in his friend's fake smiles? His professor's praises were just them giving him something to get him to the point where he thinks they care when actually just wanted his tool not to have a low moral when faced with his duties. And he didn't. He faced them with pride, did maybe even more than they all expected him to do. But just now, when maybe they could feel pride for everything he did, he wasn't able to tell them nor did he want them to. They will forever think he's the boy who had an average talent in everything, was a disturbance, a necessary evil they had to tolerate if they wanted their suffering to end. The suffering that was all his fault.
Now he'll end it, he just had to pretend, just like they did. It shouldn't be that hard since the truth about him would be unimaginable to them, wouldn't it? Who would think that that useless boy everyone knew had to defeat the most powerful dark wizard of all time, but no one knew how, was not only capable of doing it but more powerful than that dark wizard everyone feared. Because no one knew that Harry Potter was much more than an ordinary wizard. He was a seriously damaged elemental wizard with really low self esteem who knew how to end their suffering.
