'Merlin, James, don't pinch it!'

'I thought you liked it when I pinched it?'

'Not when you pinch it like you're trying to pinch the bloody thing off! I mean, honestly, it's not like we haven't done this before.'

'Well forgive me, Lily, for trying to do something nice.'

'Trying to do something nice? Trying to do something nice? Why I ought to-!'

Whatever Lily Evans thought she ought to do, she evidently didn't manage to do it, as James Potter burst out of the broom cupboard, straight into the three boys who had been piled just outside of it, ears pressed to the door.

'RUN!' James shouted as he continued out of the doorway and down the hallway, hastily rearranging his robes as he went. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin exchanged a look, then grabbed Peter Pettigrew by the collar and dragged him along with them as they ran to catch up with James.

'What the bloody hell was that?' Sirius called at James as they rounded a corner into an empty classroom.

'Bollocks, she isn't behind us, is she?' James asked, slamming the door behind Peter and slumping against it. 'Merlin, that woman scares me..'

'I repeat,' Sirius began, taking a seat behind the professor's desk, 'What the bloody hell was that?'

'I am not answering any questions until I know she's not coming after me!' James said with a wild look in his eyes that sent Peter running behind Sirius.

Remus pulled the Marauders Map out of his robes and opened it. He scanned across until he spotted Lily's name. 'It would appear you live to see another day, or at least a small amount more of this one. Lily seems to have been stopped by Slughorn, no doubt receiving another Slug Club dinner invitation. Now, will you please tell us what that was?'

'Well, erm, you see..' James' ears turned a bit pink on the ends, matching his cheeks, and he ran a hand through his messy black hair. 'You see, Evans and I.. That is to say, me and Lily, were..'

'Mate, we just want to know what you were pinching,' Sirius said, folding his hands behind his head and propping his feet up on the desk.

James pulled his glasses off, rubbed at them with his robes, and then carefully replaced them on his head. 'I was, erm, pinching her uh.. You know.. Her uh.. Her nipple. I was pinching her nipple.'

'Like, on her breast?'

'No, Padfoot, he means the one on her toe.' Remus said, rolling his eyes.

'Well I don't know, you've met Prongs, he can be a bit daft.'

'Hey!' James said, offended.

'Prongs, you tried to pinch Lily's nipple off, you're a bit daft.'

'I wasn't trying to.. Listen, I've pinched her nipples loads of times before-' At this comment, Peter squeaked and went very red about the face. '-and she's never had any complaints, thank you very much!'

'Have you ever tried to pinch it off before, though?'

'I wasn't trying to pinch her nipple off!'

'Sure, mate, we believe you. Here, demonstrate on Moony how you pinched it.'

'Uh, Sirius, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with James pinching my nipple,' Remus said, taking a small step backwards as Sirius stood up.

'Well he sure as hell isn't pinching mine,' Sirius replied.

'Yeah, Remus, that'd be mad,' James said, shaking his head slightly, as if that made any sense.

'Come on then, off with your shirt.'

Peter sat and watched in mild shock and a bit of interest as Sirius wrestled Remus out of his shirt.

'I want it to be noted that I am doing this under protest, and I better never hear about it again,' a now shirtless Remus said, arms crossed over his pale chest.

'Of course, Moony,' Sirius said, looking at James. 'Why on Earth would we tell anyone?'

'Because you're an arse and you'll think it's hilarious,' James said looking back at Sirius.

'Yeah, that's true.' Remus let out a sound of indignation and Sirius threw his hands up defensively. 'But, right, fine, I won't tell a soul.'

'Merlin..' Remus rubbed at his upper arms nervously. 'Let's get it over with, then. Pinch my nipple, James.'

'Oh, don't sound so excited there, Moony,' James said with a grin.

'James Potter, either pinch my nipple, or let me put my damned shirt back on!' Remus shouted.

'All right! All right! Keep your shirt on!' James chuckled. 'Or rather-'

'Prongs!'

'Right, sorry,' James shook his head and loosened up his shoulders before moving in on Remus.

'Merlin, James!' Remus shouted, covering his now red nipple with both hands. 'I should let Lily do whatever it is she's planning on doing to you!'

'Well it can't be that bad..' Sirius said, eyeing Remus' hands. Remus was on him in a flash, pulling his shirt up enough to expose his nipples.

'Go on, pinch them!' He instructed James, who obliged.

'Merlin's saggy left testicle! Remus, why'd you have him do that?' Sirius pulled his shirt down, and tugged his robes around himself protectively. 'Peter! Let James pinch your nipple.'

Peter backed up a bit, but willingly pulled up his shirt. Closing his eyes, he turned, offering himself up to James.

'Ow!' Peter cried, his hands shooting up to cover his chest. 'You did that to Lily?'

James ran his hands through his hair and groaned. 'She's never going to let me near her breasts again! Oh, and they're such nice breasts.. Perky, and full.. So soft.. And Merlin, the way her nipples harden up, it's like she's got Bertie Bott's tucked up under her shirt!'

'I think you've bruised mine..' Peter said grimly, poking at his now quite sore chest.