Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I only own Lina, Cianna, and the plot.

A/N: I kind of wanted to write a story that focused more on Jesus and his resurrection but this is where my inspiration struck. Also, sorry it's so short. Happy Easter everyone. Jesus lives!

Warning: May be OOC

Raising Your Half-vampire Child: How To Make An Easter Egg Hunt Challenging

Hello! Marcus Volturi here. When your sweet little girl (or boy) is far more intelligent than the average adult hiding Easter eggs can be a challenge. Luckily for you, I've put together a list of fool-proof steps to give your half-vampire child a great Easter egg hunt.

NOTE: Items marked with an * only apply if your child is my daughter Lina or a freakish clone of her. Aro if you are reading this, do not even THINK of cloning my daughter.

Step 1: Fill Easter eggs with candy and other prizes. *Make sure to include a lot of strawberry-flavored sweets.

Your children may prefer blood to human food but they are still children, which means they adore candy. In my Lina's case, she loves anything that tastes like strawberries. You can also put other things in the eggs. Some of my treats included a gold and diamond cross necklace, a gold charm bracelet, and a gold locket.

Step 2: Make sure your little one isn't there while you hide the eggs.

I sent Lina off with Heidi and Cianna to get new Easter dresses. This should work quite qwell if your little one is a girl. For those of you with male children, you may find that a toy stor eor a sporting event works better.

Step 3: Recruit some vampire friends to help you.

I picked Felix and Demetri. But if you don't live near Italy any vampire who behave slike a little kid will work just as well. Those of you in America may want to try Forks, Washington, though a tracker may be a little bit harder to find.

Step 4: Hide the eggs.

This is the hard part. The problem is, of course, that your kids have been smarter than the average human adult since the day they were born. Clearly no regular egg hiding place is going to work for them.

Luckily for me, Volterra Castle is full of hiding places. However, if you don't have an ancient castle available, don't worry! There are other ways.

Felix had the idea to find an empty bird's nest, paint the eggs to look like bird's eggs, albeit rather large ones, and put them in the net. He also took the white eggs and replace dsome of the eggs in thr egg carton in our fridge with them.

The nice thing about having a half-vampire child is that you can hide eggs in places that would cause parents of normal human children heart attacks.

Did you know that when a vampire or half-vampire goes near a beehive all the bees fly away in terror?

Rabbit burrows work nicely, as well. Although you might want to get your child to hange out of those nice new Easter clothes first.

On a side note: It's a good thing most vampires find money easily attainable. Those without half-vampire children don't know how hard it is to buy clothes for children that may grow out of them overnight.

Step 5: Wait for your child to get home and then watch all your hard work pay off.

My Lina loved her egg hunt and if you follow these five easy steps your child will too.

Note: On the opposite page is a picture of Lina (In pale purple with her necklace, locket, and bracelet), Cianna (in sparkly blue), and I. In case you were wondering, the inscription on Lina's locket: Mia figl preziosa per sempre, means My precious daughter forever., in Italian. This picture is going to go in the locket. The girls look beautiful, but who's idea was it to get Daddy a butterfly tiara?

I hope you enjoyed this guide and found it helpful, with Easter Regards,

M. Volturi

P. S. from Lina Volturi: The tiara was my idea. Shhh! Don't tell daddy!

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little story. Review please! Tell me what your favorite line was. Pictures are on my profile!