Here and Now

Disclaimer: Need I really say it? No, I didn't think so either..

Spoilers : Nope, not this time around

Pairing: Lita/John Cena; mentions of Trish/Randy, Victoria/Batista

Rating: T for language

Summary: One night helped her find a temporary solution to her heartache.. But will it only be one night or has she found a more permanent solution?

Notes: Maybe a one shot.. Though I do have an idea for another part.. It all depends on the feedback.

-x-x-x-

It was time for the WWE sponsored Christmas party.. Lita did not want to be there, but, well meaning gal pals in Lillian, Trish and Victoria had talked her into it. They'd gone as far as to pick out a dress, loan her an appropriate pair of high heels and the matching purse to boot.. Her red locks had been teased and pulled back into a French twist, stray ringlets framing her face. Trish had been so kind to do her makeup but, the redhead set her foot down when Trish offered to loan her a pair of diamond earrings…Lita stating that gems didn't belong on her. Just like last year, the redheaded Diva had her reasons for not wanting to be there. Last year she didn't want to be there because she really just wanted to be at home. But this time.. This time she didn't want to be there because she felt she didn't belong there. From the moment she walked through the door, she swore she could hear the murmurings from the people that she called co-workers.. A mix of the usual and the rare compliment.. But the compliments were lost.. Falling on deaf ears as she made her way further into the room. The walls she had built around herself had been resurrected special for tonight.. A night that was supposed to symbolize cheer and goodwill.. A night that she would've liked to have spent alone.

Alone was where she deserved to be anyway.

On the outside, it almost looked like she was enjoying herself.. Appearances can be deceiving, however, and that was certainly the case with her. Inside she was miserable, just as she had been for the past few months.. But, for tonight, and because her friends requested her to do so.. She put on her brave face and freshened up her mask. Her friends wanted it that way.. Her friends who were laughing and having a good time.. Her friends who weren't pretending… friends who didn't have to pretend. Friends who had been there for her when she was going through personal hell. The same friends who told her things would work out, she just had to give it time. How much time.. The redhead wasn't really sure. She stopped hoping.. Nixed the belief that it would change. When things got this fucked up in a matter of days, how could it ever turn around? And maybe, just maybe, she was being a bit cynical about it.. But she couldn't help that part either. Her life had changed in the course of a week.. Because she had made a stupid decision and her ex-boyfriend had decided to spread it out all over the world.

Not that she could really blame him for doing that, though she did wish he had gone about it differently.

But, people would've found out one way or another.. It's just how things worked, after all,. And because it was gossip. Gossip always spread like wildfire….even more so when it was true. And what had happened was the cold hard truth. A truth that came back to haunt her and harm her.. A truth that she could have prevented but instead she created. If you asked her why she did it, there really was no single answer.. It was a mixture of things.. Things that she didn't want to think about anymore because that just started the inner cycle of doom and gloom all over again. The redhead sighed, biting her lower lip as she eased herself into a chair.. Hoping, just this once, to blend in with the crowd. Hoping that for one time in her life, she could be normal.. Be overlooked. She would soon learn, however, that even on this night.. She wouldn't get her wish. She wouldn't be overlooked and she wouldn't be able to just disappear.. Life had other plans for her that night, plans that she wasn't counting on and plans that she never would have made.

-x-x-x-

"Li?" Trish Stratus queried, waving a hand in front of the redheaded woman's face, "Helllooo.. Earth to Lita.."

The Diva in question snapped out of her stupor, "Oh.. Hey Trish.." she paused, offering a nod to the blonde Diva's date, "Randy.. What's up?"

The Canadian Diva shook her head, "Why are you just sitting here? It's a party.. Go, dance.. Mingle."

Lita snorted, "Sorry but I don't dance and mingling isn't on my 'to do' list."

Trish rolled her eyes, "Then why did you show up, hmm? Come on Li.. It's the holidays.. You know, ho ho ho, deck the halls.. Lets be jolly."

"I don't think so," the redheaded woman sighed, "I told you, Lillian and Victoria that I didn't want to be here and I still stand by that."

Randy shifted uncomfortably, "I uhh.. Think I'll go talk to Dave," he gestured offhandedly to a spot near the bar, "and John's over there too, so.."

"Okay.." Trish placed a hand on his forearm, "could you do me a favor and ask Vikki to come here?"

"Can do," he dipped his face towards hers to claim a quick kiss. "Lita.. Happy Holidays."

"Happy Holidays," the redhead replied halfheartedly, hazel eyes soon falling back to Trish. "Shouldn't you be going with him?"

The blonde woman shrugged, looping the strap of her purse over the back of a chair. "I could but.. I don't think I will." Trish settled herself beside the redhead, "In fact, I think I'm going to sit here with you until you decide to move."

Lita sighed, "I feel loved.. But I guess that means you'll be sitting here all night then, because I don't intend on moving from this spot."

"So you think, anyway.." Trish raised an eyebrow, gloved hands coming to rest on the table top. "Do I want to know why you can't put your 24 hour Scrooge mode on hold for just one night?"

Lita smiled wryly, "It's festive isn't it? I mean, there has to be at least on Scrooge or Grinch present for the holidays.. I opted for Scrooge."

The blonde woman shook her head, "Then can I just ask one favor of you?"

"That all depends on what this favor is," Lita shrugged casually, "if you want me to enjoy myself.. The answer is no. I don't care if it's a holiday party, I'm not in the holiday spirit."

Trish smiled pleasantly, "Here's the deal then.. You can either go up there and sing some good ole fashioned karaoke with me or you can dance, just once, before this night is over." The Canadian Diva raised an eyebrow, "and after that.. You're free to leave."

Lita extended a gloved hand of her own, "You've got yourself a deal.. I hope your vocal chords are all warmed up, Trishy, because these heels are killing me."

"Whatever," Trish replied, the blonde stopping a passing waiter to grab two glasses of champagne. "Let's toast.."

"To Lita actually smiling tonight," Victoria chimed in, the raven haired woman finally joining the two. "And to a drama free 2006."

The redhead snorted incredulously, "You'll have better luck with a drama free 2006."

Trish sighed, "Lita.. Please.. It's the holidays and it's a time for miracles.. I think you smiling counts as a small miracle so can you at least humor us?"

"I could.. But it makes my face hurt.." the redhead released an over dramatic sigh, "I might be allergic to the whole idea of smiling."

Victoria feigned shock, "Could it be that Lita actually made a joke?" She removed one of her gloves, placing her hand on Lita's forehead, "No signs of fever.."

"I'm in perfect health, Dr. Victoria.." Lita removed her friend's hand. "Physically, anyway, the mental state is always up for questioning."

Trish raised an eyebrow, "What do you know, Vikki.. That's two in a row.. I think we have a record here."

Lita rolled her eyes at the two, cranberry stained lips kissing the rim of the champagne glass. "Right.. And when I look out that window there, I'll see a flock of flying pigs."

From the safety of the bar, or directly across the room from the Diva trio; Dave, Randy and John observed the party at large.

"I wonder what's so interesting.." Randy nodded towards the Diva trio, "all they've been doing is sitting there since we got here."

Dave raised an eyebrow, "You were over there, weren't you? I know you don't have a hearing problem so--"

"I'm just saying," the third generation wrestler leaned back against the bar, "all Trish was talking about was how much she was looking forward to this party. And now, she's just sitting there."

"Then why don't you do something about it, numb nuts." Dave shook his head, "and I know that's all she was talking about.. That's all Vikki would talk about for the past week. Or about how she had to help Trish find the perfect dress and the perfect shoes for Red."

Randy made a face, "At least she didn't drag you along to go shopping.. I don't know who was more miserable.. Me or Lita." An amused smirk curled at the corners of his mouth, "Speaking of Lita.." the smirk was directed to the WWE Champion, "I can't believe you didn't recognize her."

John shrugged, "She looks different.. I mean, it ain't like she wears a dress every day."

"Whatever man.. It's not like she's hard to pick out in a crowd."

Dave chuckled low, the champagne glass in his hand set back on the bar. "You should've seen the fight she put up earlier.. Vikki had to push her out of the hotel room while Trish locked the door."

Randy raised an eyebrow at that, "So that's why it took you so long to get them?" Rolling his eyes, he thumbed over to John. "And I thought I had a hard time getting this one out."

The D.C. native sent the WWE Champion a questioning look, "And just what was your deal, huh?"

"You know me, bro.. I don' like wearin' no suit." John tugged in vain at his tie, "I hate suits."

Randy rolled his eyes, "It's just one night, John.. Get over it. Wearing a suit won't kill you."

"Ya never know.. I could get my tie caught in something an' it could choke me."

Dave shook his head at the two, "I wonder why I put up with you two.." He straightened out his suit jacket, grabbing his glass of champagne as an afterthought. "I'm heading over there.. Listening to them talk about whatever it is they're talking about is probably more interesting than listening to the two of you."

John looked on as the World Heavyweight Champion walked off, "We just got dissed."

Randy snorted, grabbing his glass of champagne from the bar. "More like you just got dissed.. I'm with him."

"Whateva," the West Newbury native followed suit, glass of champagne in hand as he made his way over.

-x-x-x-

The moment the guys arranged themselves at the table with the Diva trio, was the moment that things began to change.. Albeit, Lita didn't realize it at that particular moment, but it would all come to sort itself out by the time all was said and done. Truth be told, she was still pretty miserable about being at the party.. But not quite as miserable as when she had arrived. The redheaded Diva supposed that Trish and Victoria had something to do with it…and perhaps that glass of champagne was also playing a part. Whatever the case, the mask was slowly starting to fall.. a slow smile easing it's way onto her features as the night wore on.

Maybe there was still some hope left.. Or maybe she was just setting herself up for another disappointment. Regardless, she shook the thought off, forcing a smile on her face when a lame joke was cracked.. Humoring her friends as they had requested.

Because that was just how it worked.

It was for her friends sake…not for hers. A pretense, a search for a sense of normalcy in an otherwise fucked up world. But, for the redhead's purposes, it worked.. For now anyway. And it would continue to work until something better came along.. Until she had a reason to smile without the pretense.. If that moment came, anyway.. Or if that moment was meant for people like her. Perhaps this was part of her punishment.. Being alone even when she was surrounded by others. Destined to watch her ex-boyfriend move on while she fell deeper into the dark recesses of her mind.. Standing still while the world moved forwards. No rest for the wicked or something along those lines.. For even when she slept, her dreams were the same.. The line between the waking and dreaming blurry and hazed.

If this was her nightmare.. She wanted to wake up.

Lita had made her personal amends with Matt, so why wasn't her conscious clear? What else was left? She wasn't asking for forgiveness from the world and she wasn't expecting it either.. The world had already passed judgment on her…a judgment, she felt, they had no right to pass. But, if she had made her personal amends, why wouldn't it just go away? Many of the fans still despised her and that probably wouldn't change for quite some time.. If it changed at all. Maybe this holiday party would help her find an answer and maybe it wouldn't .. but in the meantime, at least she could try and put it behind her.. If only for this night. And if not, there was always next year.. She could make it one of her resolutions.

-x-x-x-

"Hey.." a voice interrupted her thoughts, clouded hazel orbs locking shortly with dark blue. "Randy, Trish, Dave an' Victoria are headin' out to the dance floor."

Lita glanced towards the dance floor then, Trish making a motion for her to get up and join them. With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to John. "I'm fine here.. But I'm sure you have someone you want to talk to or something so.."

"Actually.." he pushed back from the table, "I was thinking 'bout headin' over there myself."

The Diva nodded absently, fingertips curling around the stem of the champagne glass. "Have fun then."

He rolled his eyes, reaching for the champagne glass before her. "You wanna dance?"

"Excuse me?"

"I didn' stutter," he informed her seriously.

Lita shook her head, "I don't think so.. I mean I'm--"

"Why not?" He cocked an eyebrow, "I ain't gonna bite ya or nothing.. It's just a dance."

She smiled thinly, "Because I don't want anyone taking pity on me just because it's the holidays."

John shook his head, "An' who says I was takin' pity on ya? All I did, was ask ya to dance."

Hazel eyes regarded him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "Why me?"

"Well.. I would ask that potted plant right there but, I don' think I'd have much luck." Shrugging he asked: "An' can you give me a good reason why not?"

"Just don't step on my feet," the Diva warned him as she finally stood. "These shoes are killing me as is."

John nodded solemnly, extending a hand when she was on her feet. "I'll do my best not to step on your feet then."

In spite of herself, Lita rolled her eyes, hesitantly placing her hand in his. "You don't have to do this, you know."

He glanced at her curiously, "You afraid of me or something?"

"Like I'd be afraid of you," Lita snorted, the two eventually finding themselves on the dance floor. "I'm just saying, you don't have to do this."

"Maybe not," John seemingly conceded, "but we're out here now so.. Might as well do it, right?"

"Whatever," she muttered in reply, "although I don't see why they're playing a song like this at a holiday party."

John shrugged, an arm banding around her waist. "It's festive.. I mean, there's always candy canes at the holiday time…Candy Shop makes sense."

The Diva rolled her eyes in response, stiffening slightly when she was involuntarily pushed closer. "In your world, maybe.. But I don't see how a song like this really relates."

He rolled his eyes right back, turning her suddenly in the one armed embrace. "Why don' you jus' relax.." His chin rested gently on her shoulder, "it's a party.. There ain't no uptight bosses breathin' down our necks."

"Sorry," she replied sarcastically. "Just my nature as of late."

"So I've noticed," he reached for one of her arms, resting it over the arm around her waist. "But you really should lighten up.."

Her eyes closed momentarily, "I wish I could.. But, like I said, it's just been my nature."

"Maybe so.. But you weren't always like this, right?"

"Times change.. People change," her reply was almost whispered, the redhead slowly relaxing. "That's all there is to it."

He almost frowned at that, "Then why don' you jus' forget 'bout everything for one night."

The Diva smirked, her eyes opening at that moment. "That would be the plan."

"Good," he drew her closer to his form, "then relax an' jus' dance."

Seemingly at ease, Lita complied, conversation between the two coming to a halt. The pair stayed like that for the duration of the song, the Diva turning when the music started to slow down.

"I think I'm ready to sit down."

He raised an eyebrow, a hand splaying over her mid back, "You sure 'bout that?"

"Not really.." A small smile formed at the corners of her mouth, "I guess one more dance won't kill me."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout." Blue eyes gazed down at her, "you really need to lighten up more.. You're a lot easier to deal with."

Lita nodded absently, "I'll keep that in mind then." Hesitantly, she rested her cheek against his shoulder, the grip on his back tightening slightly.

"If you need someone else to talk to.. I'm here, alright? I ain't gonna judge ya for what's happened.."

She lifted her head, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "Thanks."

He nodded slightly, a hand reaching upwards, catching a stray strand of hair between his fingertips. "You look--"

"Please.." the Diva interrupted shortly, "I don't want any pity."

"Like I already told ya.. It ain't pity," blue orbs held hazel, John licking his lips unconsciously. He wanted to kiss her at that moment… "You look beautiful."

Lita's head ducked, her lower lip drawn lightly between her teeth.. And that was enough for him to make up his mind.. To hell with all of the people that were probably watching them right now. John waited until she was looking at him again, confusion growing in her hazel eyes as his face dipped lower. Lita's eyes widened in surprise as their lips met in the lightest of contact only to fly shut when she decided she didn't give a damn anymore. Her hands moved on their own accord, grasping at the back of his neck to deepen the kiss.. And Lord help her, she could feel eyes on them, but…that didn't matter. All that mattered, right here and right now, was him.