Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect.

Hello!

Yes I'm not dead nor have I abandoned my stories, but I have had to spend time away from all of my writing so I am really sorry for any messages, PM's or communications I have not replied too. Last year was simply a very very bad year for our entire family with lots of bad things happening including the loss of our identical twins May last year half way through the pregnancy which hit me as you can imagine very hard, then also the loss of my grandfather to Leukaemia just before Christmas after a long battle during which I assisted in his care.

So with just those two things I hope you can imagine why I needed some time away from everything, but as they say every storm has its rainbow and every cloud it's silver lining. This year so far has been better, 10 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl even if she was almost 5 weeks early and a very big surprise at 9:22am Easter Sunday! My best friend's brother (Faith's Brother!) who was only given 6-12 months to live has now amazingly gone into remission in the last few weeks to the joy of us all and you never know he may have many more years with us still.

So as you can imagine the silver lining has lifted my spirit and the 7 week old baby has given me a little time (and I do say a little time) to come back and get back into my writing again. I will be trying to go back and answer any questions queries or such that have been asked in my absence which will take a while as it's not only on Fanfiction I've neglected it, but also Wattpad but I will try to get back to everyone.

Again I am very very sorry for my absence, but hopefully you will all understand my reasoning and look forward to future updates.

Yours

Neheigh xxx

I do not own Skip Beat, shakespeare or the song The Reason by Hoobastank.


In it, to win it!

They were being childish again, Shoko and Yashiro realised as Ren and Sho faced off against each other.

"Well at least my job uses talent, all you have to do is speak some already written lines and bat your eyelashes and your done! What I do actually needs skill and brains... all your acting needs is your girly looks!" Shoko shook her head and grimaced, what the hell was Sho doing! he really couldn't be that stupid as to think thats all acting took? She herself knew how hard the acting world was she had managed actors and actresses alike and in many respects there job was harder than most musicians could ever imagine.

"Really? you honestly think that acting takes no talent? don't make me laugh! you couldn't act if your life depended on it! and as for your 'Job' how does staying in bed till noon and watching reality tv shows when you think nobody's watching skilled?" Yashiro had bristled at Sho's words Ren was the hardest working and most talented actor he had ever had the pleasure of managing, but really even he had to admit the stuck up brat before him was skilled in the art of music and lyrics.

Yashiro looked around himself once more, he was just glad they had met in this back corridor, what was Sho even doing at LME anyway? he wondered as he wondered if he could truly stop these two over hormonal boys squaring off against each other without getting harmed in the process.

Sho growled, how dare Kyoko share his secrets with his biggest enemy! He would make her pay for it, sharing his secret pleasures with the heel wearing Ken doll.

"Fine you think it's so easy? I'd like to see you do it!" Sho finally growled out as Yashiro jumped a mile as hands clapping together deftly behind him echoed off the bare corridor walls.

"Excellent!" Lory cried rubbing his hands together and approaching the two now stunned men were had Lory appeared from?

"If you really want to have a talent rut, I have the perfect stage for you both...that is if you're both not all words and no action." Lory said as he clapped both young men on the shoulders. Of course Lory had chosen his words perfectly, how better to get two hormone driven men to do his every wish and both managers knew it as they tried to stop their talents and make them think before agreeing to anything Lory said! but it was too late as before either of the managers could get a word out they sound they both had dreaded hit their ears.

"I'd love too." Sho said growling menacingly as Ren showed his darkest scowl.

"Just say when." and so Lory got his own way... yet again and yet again he was going to be using everything in his power to make this BIG!


The love me girls looked at the information before them.

"Are you serious?" Kanae asked as she stared at the president who was smiling manically

"You've got to be joking, we're actresses not game show hosts." Kanae tried as Lory just smile even wider, as Kanae became almost desperate.

"There is no way we're doing this! it will ruin our careers!" yet she knew as she sat back in her chair as did the other two girls beside her that her pleas where falling on deaf ears, as Lory threw his arms out wide.

"Of course it won't Kotonami-kun! this is exactly what all you girls need now! its the big thing, the place to be and it's not just any game show! its reality TV! its hip, it's now, it's jammin!" the fact Lory was dressed as an american rapper just made it seem all the more preposterous to the three girls seated before him.

"And this way you can show who your truly are! there will be no holding back! you can be as honest and as truthful as you've always wanted to be! If Amamiya-kun wishes to tell an actress that getting along on her looks alone is pointless she can! If you wish to tell someone they need to find a new career you can do so Kotonami-kun! just think of the possibilities!" Lory cried as he entered his own little world so much like Kyoko's fairy dreams just Lorys showed his children wowing the world spreading love and amazing talent to all.

"Hang on a moment!" Chiori cried shocked by the president's words.

"I thought that was the main reason you saw fit to allow me to join the Love Me section! I thought that my feelings on certain actors and actresses was unbecoming and untrue! thats what you told me!" Lory's eyes sparkled as he turned towards Love Me number three.

"Oh well it is, but it's what the public want to hear! have you heard of a man called Simon cowell? he's built an entire career on his salty derogatory comments! his entire business is built around him being as blunt as humanly possible! so if that's what you believe you say it! it doesn't mean it's true or that everyone agrees with it but it's what people want to see and hear!" Chiori flopped back in her chair as did Kanae, there was no getting out of this and they both knew it, yet one person had not spoken yet and it was really her view that Lory wanted.

"Well Mogami-kun are you excited?" Lory asked eyes sparkling as he turned towards his Love Me number 1.

"President I think if you wish to have a show left at the end of all of this you rethink the two main acts on the first live performance." Lory just grinned wolfishly

"I don't know what you mean Mogami-kun." Lory said as Chiori and Kanae finally read the two names listed 'Tsuruga Ren and Fuwa Sho.'


"So are we all feeling ok about this?" Hikaru asked as he smiled at the three girls seated in the green room with him and his friends, really what luck this was to be working with Kyoko again and this time not in a big chicken suit to hide her beauty! and really the other two young women were nothing to sneer at as Kyoko smiled his way softly.

"Well.. we will see." she said slowly wondering why the president had never taken her warnings to heart and continued with this stupid plan of his! really did the president not realise just how much Ren hated Shotaro! The demon lord would definitely be out in full force tonight and this was to be a live performance!

'please! please!' Kyoko begged rubbing her hands together nervously, please let Ren get through this with his career unscathed. The three brothers seeing her nervousness glanced at each other as Kanae sent Chiori a knowing look which she discreetly nodded too.

"Come on Kyoko-chan! its just like Bo! you'll be fine!" Shinichi said clapping her on the back, all three of the completely unaware of why their young friend seemed so scared.

"Oh that doesn't worry me." Kyoko said turning to face the man beside her who she thought of like a brother.

"So what does?" Yuusei asked from where he was leaning over the back of the sofa the two other Love Me girl were seated on.

"Its a different director so you havn't got to worry about your first Bo appearance and didn't Sawara-san put it in your contract that we're not allowed to release your name as Bo, so Fuwa shouldn't even know that it was you that night?" the three men nodded at the sense of Yuusei's comment as Chiori replied to save Kyoko who now had hit a cataclysmic state almost at the thought of that first live performance and the director's reaction, would Ren be getting that type of dressing down if he and Sho did fight?

"You see Tsuruga-san and Fuwa, don't really get along... as such." Chiori said as the three men's attentions heightened at that news.

"You could say they have something that makes them both go a little crazy." her eyes travelled over to Kyoko and in that moment Hikaru's heart dropped, the great Tsuruga Ren and Fuwa Sho were both after Kyoko! what kind of chance did he have with competition like Ren in play!

"Oh..." he managed to swallow out as his two best friends smiled at him sympathetically knowing exactly what he had been thinking.

"Yeah... and let's just say they can sometimes let it go to their heads a little." Chiori added as she looked towards Kanae who still remained silent, but nodded once to show her confirmation.

"Does she know?" Shinichi asked as he jerked his head towards Kyoko who was by this time rambling to herself something along the lines of 'I'd have to try and stop him before her ruined his career!' as Kanae finally made a noise as she laughed.

"Does that girl ever see what's right in front of her?" she asked now staring straight at Hikaru who blushed bright red as Chiori tried her hardest not to giggle.

"Point taken.." Shinichi said clearing his throat trying to take the spotlight away from the blushing guy as they all looked towards the object of their conversation.

"Mo! Kyoko! snap out of it! were on in five minutes." With Kanae's scolding Kyoko was once again in the room with them as the colour drained from her face before she replied meekly.

"Yes Moko-san."


"WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" The Ishibashi bothers cried in unison to the cheering audience as the three of them bounded onto the stage from the left hand side.

"And welcome to the first ever live show of 'In it, to win it!' " Chiori stated as the three Love Me girls strolled out onto the stage sedately from the right as audience volume increased.

"Today we will have two amazing acts for your pleasure" Kanae said smiling widely as she amazed once more at her best friend who was smiling widely beside her as if not a care in the world as Shinichi took over from her line.

"And we will answer the question with your help!" the six of them shouted out the next word as the audience joined in screaming out the words that were being held up for them on cards by stage hands.

"WHO'S? IN IT, TO WIN IT!" the noise and excitement from the room was palatable as Kyoko settled into her job of pleasing the crowds alongside her best friends and pseudo brothers. as from the side lines Shoko and Yashiro each gave their chargers a server talking too, it had taken all of both of their skills to work this large show into both of their already packed schedules and after the testosterone had stopped pumping they had both questioned just what they had let themselves in for, but now here they were and they had to do this not only for pride but also their own professionalism.

"So let us tell you a little more about tonight's show shall we?" Hikaru asked as he smiled at the audience and Kyoko who was standing beside him as the other four found their seats in line beside the two standing hosts on the large red padded swivel chairs.

"The aim of the game is to show us just what hidden talents our contestants may hold, a talent that until today was held secret? or maybe something we never expected! all our acts are competing for 385000¥ (about £2000 or $3112) to their chosen charity." Kyoko continued smiling at Hikaru as he nodded emphatically agreeing with Kyoko's words as he continued.

"Thats right Kyoko and boy do we have a killer of a show for a starter! Now how do I hear you ask,how do we choose a winner? well Ladies and Gentlemen that is quite simple! We including all of you in our audience and all of you lovely people watching along at home will vote for who we think is worthy of the first ever 'In it, to win it!' crown and along with it that lovely sum towards what I'm sure is a good cause!" Kyoko then yet again took over as she explained how they as the judges would give their opinion on the 6 acts that would be appearing that evening. Each and everyone of them a celebrity in their own right an olympic gold medalist, a school idol group of three girl who were currently taking Japan by storm, a voice actor who had voiced some of the biggest animes of the current day, a celebrity chef who had her own weekly morning show and of course the number one actor and number one singer who had held their own titles respectively for some time and after the judges made their opinion's the audience would be able to vote on the selection pad they had on their seats while the audiences at home could vote via the internet for their favourite act.

The show would have an hour break after all of the acts had performed for the votes to be taken and tallied before they resumed for the winning act to be announced the final encore of their talent and the ending of the show. The audience loved every second of this and looking at the figures of how many people had tuned in to watch it, it appeared most of Japan did also. Of course Lory had taken no chances in his new little venture being a flop! he had advertised and made sure all of his contestants and show host's had been anywhere and everywhere, getting the word out about this amazing new venture into the reality TV world! and my it was working, the producer thought as he only watched the numbers of viewers growing.


Ren paced, Yashiro had left him finally he hadn't really shouted at him like he had after the incident which had led to this 'horror' as he had dubbed it for the three weeks now since Lory had tricked himself and Fuwa into it, but he had made his standing on the matter quite clear any misbehaviour and he would be royally wishing he had never been born... and the look in Yashiro's eyes as he had said this made Ren quite sure that he was not lying.

Ren looked again at the time and wondered who was on the stage now? he was of course last to go on, a thing he would be having some stern words with Lory about when he managed to catch that illusive Love Spouting Devil alone which he had not yet done so since that day in the back corridor of LME. Hell if only he had been able to choose which 'talent' he showcased but no! he and Fuwa had gotten themselves into this mess with their own petty words and now they were eating them as so to speak.

In those three weeks Ren had not only had to write a song and music... which he had never even considered before doing so in his life! he was now going to have to perform it before a live audience and god knows how many viewers! he thought back to Lory's words that day after he had explained his plan too the two rutting young men.

"I will not be entirely evil of course, you can both seek help through your agencies as long as you both uphold to your own little rules you yourselves have set, Ren you shall write and perform your own song, while Fuwa you shall act to your highest ability a scene from your chosen performance with you as a leading role!"

God! what had he done to deserve this! Ren almost screamed as he threw himself completely un-Ren-like onto the sofa and allowed himself a moment to pout! what would Kyoko think of all this! and why had the boss completely and utterly screwed him over by having Kyoko as a judge for heaven's sake! he was Kuon in that moment as he pouted, Kuon who had been appearing more and more through his Kyoko assisted breakthrough, Kuon who had been the one who argued with Sho, Kuon who wanted nothing more than to impress Kyoko, Kuon who was now terrified he was going to make a utter and complete idiot of himself! Kuon who if he admitted it to himself as he looked once more at the ticking clock was terrified of failing before the woman he loved.


Sho kicked the metal bin as he threw himself onto the sofa staring at the ceiling he wondered how it had ever come to this! Shoko had taken his 'helper' Mimori to get drinks as they awaited their turn in the spotlight, Mimori had literally begged to help him get the better of the heel wearing Ken doll, a phrase he had taught her to make him feel better not realising it was due to the loss of Kyoko who had always spoken those words to him until that moment.

"I'm an actress so of course I will help you win against him easily." had been her words and as that eccentric man had seen no problem with it when his president had queried the notion with Lory after berating the boy for screwing up so bad and getting himself into this situation, Sho had taken her help though he still believed he didn't truly need it, hell he only had to remember a few lines! how hard could it be? Even if both Shoko and his president had looked at him with worry as they shook their heads or Mimori and Shoko both told him he needed to read his lies more, he could do this! he remembered all of his songs word for word every performance this would be a piece of cake!

He would show that Kyoko and her heel wearing ninny just how amazing he was and along the way win this shin dig for the greater good of his own career.


Kyko took a sip of her water from the table next to her, she couldn't believe just how much Moko-san and Chiori-chan seemed to be enjoying this! How could Chiori have told that girl if she zipped her top down a little lower she would have been giving them an entirely different show of which she could never approve and how the earth had Moko-san so calmly told the olympic athlete that she needed to work on her presentation skills with her food as she had seen better looking food at a high school fate cafe!

Kyoko as always had nothing but good to say about all of the acts, but she noticed that all of the judges were honest in their judging it was just Kyoko looked for the good points to be honest about. Though she worried the next act would be pushing even her silver lining skill to its limit as the audience went wild with the arrival of Fuwa Sho! who would be making his talent debut as an actor with the help of his friend and work colleague Nakamura Mimori.

Kyoko watched as the stage before her went black for a few minutes before opening on a set that most Japanese people would know well from their high school days or from the so many Slice of life, High school animes that had showed this scene before.

"How oft when men are at the point of death

Have they been merry, which their keepers call

A lightning before death! Oh, how may I

Call this a lightning?"

'Romeo and Juliet' Kyoko thought as she watch what could only be described as a very wooden and emotionless acting Sho was dealing out as he simply spoke the words he had learnt from the script without feeling or emphasis to the still form of Mimori.

"O my love, my wife!

Death, that hath took the honey of your breath,

Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty.

It wasn't only Kyoko who noticed the slight mistakes in Sho's words as they watched.

Thou art not conquered. Beauty's ensign yet

Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks,...

Sho paused for a moment looking confused before continuing.

And death's pale flag is not advancèd there.—

He's forgotten his line's! Kyoko realised as she smiled inwardly, yet not unkindly as he missed the next line out entirely. It's not as easy as your song's Shotaro, with them you have music to help you remember and guide you to the next line, with acting you have only your memeory.

"O, what more favor can I do,

Than with that hand that cut in twain

To sunder his that was thine enemy?"

Kanae was getting more annoyed by the second the more mistakes Fuwa made the more her line set into a line as she listened to this complete imbecile make a mockery of Shakespeare! was he so thick that he couldn't remember a few lines! for Kanae who had read and secretly one day wished she could perform a shakespearean play as its lead this was almost beyond mockery as she was forced to listen to this stupid brat of a boy mucking it up.

"Forgive me, cousin.—Ah, dear Juliet,

Why art thou yet so fair? Shall I believe

That unsubstantial death is amorous,

And that the lean abnormal monster keeps

Thee here in dark to be his paramour?

For fear of that, I still will stay with thee,

And never from this palace of dim night

Depart again."

Here, here will I remain

With worms will I set up my everlasting rest,

And shake the stars

From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last.

Arms, take your last embrace. And, lips, O you

The doors of breath, seal with a kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death.

Chiori couldn't help but sigh to herself as she watched the supposedly 'dead/asleep' Mimori almost burst into giggles as Sho kissed her feebly, probably trying to remember the rest of his lines he was so wonderfully bodging and that girl calls herself an actress? Chiori wanted to scoff as she watched Mimori almost having a excited seizure at what she could only describe as the most unrealistic kissing scene she had ever witnessed in her life! and that's saying something after she had recently been to see her 10 year old cousin perform this very play with his acting school and he had never even kissed a girl before they had started studying the play with Romeo as his first lead role!

Come... unsavoury guide.

Thou desperate plight, now at once run on

The dashing rocks seasick, weary bank.

Here's to my love!

The ishibashi's who had all been give a copy of the script to read before today all secretly looked at each other as the mistakes in the script just got more and more pronounced as the act went on, none of them acted as a job but even they could see that Sho just seemed to almost be reading to Mimori that acting with the girl even if her job was just to lie there and play dead.

O true apothecary,

Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

As sho collapsed onto Mimori he was glad to hear the audience clap, he had done it he would show that heel wearing Ken doll what was what as he stood up from his seated position besides Mimori he smiled widely out at the audience, yet as he looked now towards the judges whom Mimori looked to he felt his blood run cold as the raven haired beauties eyes bore into him with malice he had never felt before.

The audience quietened down already used to the order of things as they awaited Chiori's comment first.

"Well Fuwa-Kun I know your time is very limited with your very successful music career and that acting is a lifetime away from what you are used to but my comment for you would be learn your lines and in future maybe getting an actress who does not break role at a simple stage kiss would be a wonderful idea." as usual it was a half and half reaction from the crowd, some cheering her words others booing as Sho forced a smile onto his face and nodded looking towards Kyoko before smirking at the girl he knew should now be admitting how much better than her he was.

"You tried very well Fuwa-kun." Kyoko said as she chose her words carefully.

"Shakespeare is not always the easiest thing to learn with all the old english turns of phrase, but you did try really hard and that's what counts." Thats it! Sho cried in his head as his face dropped for a moment forgetting where he was! thats all I bloody get for my performance! a poncy well done for trying like some pre schooler at their first fun day where they've lost every race! it was as he turned knowing it was the glaring girls turn that he truly felt fear on stage for the first time.

"Fuwa... where do I start? I've seen more moving acting done by animals I've worked with. your delivery was lousy, your posture and emotives wooden to the point I wondered if you were not actually a robot set to read the lines monotone. your use of the shakespearean language was that of a middle school aged child and basically I wonder how you remember how to get of bed in the morning if that very short piece was beyond your capability to remember all in all how you can call acting your hidden talent is beyond me and if you have ever considered moving into it as a career I wouldn't bother as you would be laughed off set, even your P.V's are normally acted out by others or wordless showing your complete lack of skill and knowledge in the area so don't quit your day job." Kyoko's jaw was basically touching the floor as Kanae finished and Chiori was just about holding her professionalism as she laughed uproariously inside, Yuusei who was seated beside Kanae and would be the next one to speak broke the tension that had erupted from Sho's very upset fan group as he heard many guffaws from the guys the the audience by joking before giving his comment.

"Yow! sheathe those claws Miss Tiger." he said laughing as Kanae simply looked at him and shrugged crossing her arms.

"I only say what I saw." and even though each of the guys tried to give a good comment with a little criticisms, this really wasn't their expertise like it was the women seated beside them.

Sho managed to keep smiling as he exited the stage to the applause of his female fans, but as soon as he saw Ren waiting in the wings for his turn his smile turned into a growl.

"Don't think you've won yet pretty boy!" he barked out as he pushed past the waiting, man intent on getting to his waiting room and destroying something as fast as possible. How dare they all look down upon him! how dare those women tell him not to quit his day job as if he was unable to even act the simplest thing! how dare she tell him that his lack of skill should have been apparent already from his P.V's he'd show her... he'd show them all he would act in his next P.V for sure!

Ren didn't even bother replying as Sho pushed passed him, honestly he couldn't even smile as Kanae gave the boy the beating down he deserved for that completely bodged performance, Mimori was now crying to her manager about Chiori's 'Horrid' words which he couldn't help but agree with as he stood there his stomach tying itself in knots as he awaited his doom.

"You ready?" Yashiro asked as he passed him the item from the stand beside him, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the guy now as he watched him swallow deeply as the darkened stage was quickly set up with the band.

"No." came the only reply from Ren as he licked his dry lips, he couldn't remember ever being as scared in his life to enter a stage as he watched the drummer check the sound of his drums.

"you scared?" Yashiro asked softly definitely feeling a little bad now about how he had been treating Ren about this whole thing, but doubting he would get an honest answer. So when Ren's eyes met his for the first time all night he definitely felt bad.

"Completely terrified, but I got myself into this and really I think Kanae has got herself into a roll with Fuwa... I would hate to disappoint her of more fresh meat... even if it is myself." With those closing words the lights once again lit the stage, the band was ready and Ren entered the stage to tumultuous applause.

Kyoko's heart faltered as Ren walked onto the stage carrying a electric guitar which the bassist helped him plug in before standing before the mic in centre stage, the audience where going mad as Ren smile a little self consciously.

"Thank you for the wonderful welcome and I will be singing a song I wrote." Ren said as he looked down and checked his finger positioning, he was only going to be playing a very simple repetitive riff, but now he wondered what in god's name had made him think writing a song playing the guitar and singing were three things to start learning at the same time! oh well, there wasn't much he could do about it now he thought as he suddenly caught a voice he knew well pipe up.

"Yay! yet another person completely out of their comfort zone!" Kanae spoke out completely uncaring that her voice carried threw her mic to the audience as Kyoko squeaked at her words.

"Kanae be nice!" and Chiori couldn't help but shake her head and smile.

"Sorry Tsuruga-san continue." Chiori called out as the three Ishibashi brothers controlled their laughter, they all rather enjoyed just how blunt these Love Me girls could be and Lory new from looking at the social media statuses popping up everywhere, they weren't the only ones.

Kyoko gave her full attention back to Ren and was shocked to see him chuckling himself at Kanae's words and it even shock Ren himself as he nodded to the bassist to play them all in, but in its own way Kanae's words gave him courage. Yes he was completely out of his depth! Yes he was an actor not a musician! but at the end of the day if if he was starting with nothing at least he could give them something even if it wasn't at Fuwa's level.

Ren waited for the drums to join the bassist, when with a nod from the guy he had been having lessons with for the past three weeks nodded he struck his first chords and once settled he started to sing the best he could... as in the end that's the best he could do.

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

Kanae who had been expecting nothing from this man sat up as Ren started to sing... actually he wasn't half bad, she thought as in the corner of her eye she looked at the girl who was completely besotted with the man before them and who currently sat mesmerised with the man on stage.

'I hope your listening good Kyoko' Ren thought as he sang with all his heart for the girl he loved, he had written this song for her after all. It's what his teacher had told him, find the strongest emotion you can find within yourself and write about it.

It was the best advice he had said he could give Ren with such the short time period, but Ren had done just that. taking his love for Kyoko he had written down exactly how he was feeling in that point of time, it wasn't amazing... and yes the title of the song was basically repeated over and over in the song, but it said exactly what Ren's heart was feeling.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

She was his reason.

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

He had hurt her... left her with no way to contact her beloved Corn. Left her with the boy that would finally break her heart... the mother who would abandon her, but he had never meant too.

He had only meant to let the dream of fairies and fantasy live on for that young crying girl in that forest clearing, yet she had felt so much pain because of it, would it have been different if he had stayed in touch with Kyoko? would they have ever met again? would she be the woman she was today without her past pain? he knew he would never be the man he was today without his past, Kyoko had taught him that.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is You

and the reason is You

and the reason is You

and the reason is You

As Ren sang he allowed his eyes to lock with Kyoko's willing her to see that he was singing to her, willing her to know just how he felt about her. That she was his everything, but could he even dare to hope she would feel the same? he wanted too.

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

The atmosphere was electric, who new Japan's number one actor could sing too? and quite well, not perfect but he was giving it his all heart and soul and the audience both live and at home were eating it up.

Hikaru glanced across towards Kyoko then looked back at the man before them both on stage... yep he had already lost her.. and even though it pained him to admit it, he supposed if the man before them loved her as much as his music was saying he did... then he could accept the defeat. Kyoko deserved to be happy and if the number one actor could do that for her Hikaru was willing to let her go.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

Kanae and Chiori's eyes met across their friend, really if she didn't get the point after this Kanae wondered if there would be any hope of Kyoko escaping the Love Me section ever? Ren had looked at no one else since he had got to the first chorus of the song and if she knew anything about the rats that were reporters they would be all over that fact by tomorrow morning.

Well she really did need a little kick in the right direction and hopefully they both agreed through that single look this would be it and after all of Kanae's bulking at the idea, she actually found through Ren's words she really didn't mind. Kyoko deserved to be happy and if that meant she was going to be coming second to someone in Kyoko's heart... so be it.

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you.

Ren felt a new type of achievement as the last note died away and for those miniscule milliseconds before the crowd erupted into tumultuous applause he understood why Sho loved his life and why musicians said their was no feeling like it, in that moment he couldn't help but agree as he smiled widely and waved to the crowd who seemed to be in no hurry to stop the applause. Yet the biggest pleasure for him was to see not only the audience clapping but also all of the judges bar Kanae who sat their with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised. It took a few minutes for the crowd to quieten enough for Kanae to end the clapping by speaking into her mic.

"Chiori." it was short and simple and indicated that the audience were to stop or Kanae would be displeased and almost like Chiori or Kyoko would do when faced with a very nearly pissed Kanae they silenced almost instantly, the ice queen reigned with an iron fist. This was Kanae's domain now.

"Well what can I say?" Chiori asked smiling as Ren looked a little sheepish and then couldn't help but laugh at her next words

"I didn't think I could hate you more! all that acting talent and now you've proved me wrong! Why have you never sang before Tsuruga-san? that really was well done and to think you wrote that song yourself. I'm thoroughly impressed well done." the audience also laughed at her light hearted teasing and cheered at her words as Ren again smiled self consciously as his heart constricted waiting for Kyoko's judgement.

"That was beautiful song Tsuruga-san and you sang and played excellently." Kyoko managed to speak out finally, she had so many things she wanted to say, so many things she wanted to praise, to ask but she was currently experiencing the feeling of her heart beating full force in her chest, Ren had been looking at her while he had been singing!

WHY? was he teasing her? did he know how she felt about him and was playing on her emotions? was it just her imagination? or maybe she was hoping and praying with all her heart her was singing to her? but whatever it was the rapid unstable beating made it impossible for Kyoko to say anything else as she swallowed hard and looked towards Kanae showing her she had finished her judging and Kanae just looked at her raised her eyebrows questioningly, before allowing Kyoko some reprieve by looking towards Ren on the stage.

"Well what can I say Tsuruga-san?" Kanae asked as she leant back in her chair comfortably looking at the man before her who fidgeted with his guitar strings subconsciously, he was feeling rather let down by Kyoko's judging her had hoped for more, hoped she would know what his song had meant... who it was for... and now here he was about to be chewed up and spit out by the Ice Queen herself and to say Ren was terrified was an understatement.

"It was in tune, well played and the song itself was... interesting, so all in all you did well, but I have to wonder how you were able to write such a good love song? Is there maybe someone in the great number one bachelor's heart he's not telling us all about?" Ren almost gulped as Kanae smirked at him knowingly. Kanae was really enjoying this both Ren and Lory decided as Kyoko turned to her best friend.

"Now Kanae that's a very personal question!" she spoke out in a very uncomfortable voice as Kanae just smirked at her best friend.

"I was just curious." she replied in a I've-done-nothing voice, yet when Kanae looked into Kyoko's eyes she saw the fear and the pain their... no the silly girl had not realised it was her, Kanae realised sighing as she decided to spare her best friend the pain she knew the question was causing her.

"Oh OK, I'm sorry Tsuruga-san that was impolite of me." Kanae said in a bored voice as she turned away from Kyoko's pleading eye's scared she would do something like a public display of affection if she looked at her for much longer, but it was as Shinichi chuckled and was about to start his judging that Ren surprised everyone including himself.

"Actually Kotonami-san. Yes, yes there is someone that made it possible for me to write my song." the silence was palatable as the judges, audience and even the staff all stared at the man on stage who had just admitted that he had written the song for someone!? was Japan's number one bachelor taken!? was he admitting to a relationship right here right now live on Japanese TV!? Ren used the silence to continue quickly.

"She's actually a wonderful friend to me... she helps me through any problems I have sometimes without even realising it, she makes me laugh and she makes me smile just by some of the small funny things she does. She's been a friend and a work colleague to me in the hardest moments of my career and honestly without her I doubt I would have been able to achieve some of my hardest roles, because without her I couldn't be who I needed to be in those moments." Kanae watched as Ren bled his heart out on the stage without saying a name, without saying they were in a relationship, but making sure everyone knew the great Tsuruga Ren had someone very special to him and she was in his mind very important.

Ren couldn't help it once he started he couldn't stop.

"She's saved me so many times without realising it, but sadly she doesn't see how truly wonderful she is... so... so I wrote this song for her, for her to understand that she really is special, that she's worth so much more than she believes." Ren paused then, knowing if he went any further he really would pronounce his love for Kyoko to the world and really that could destroy both of their careers which he didn't want to do, but... with the president... with the president on their side he was sure they could survive it.

"So is she your girlfriend?" Shinichi asked knowing it was what everyone in the audience was thinking as Ren laughed and shook his head smiling.

"No...no she's just a very dear friend." Ren said though if anyone couldn't see the love in his eyes at that moment they were blind, Shinichi was about to ask more when Hikaru kicked him.

"Your thoughts on Tsuruga-san's talent?" he asked prompting as Shinichi yelped and the audience giggled as Shinichi rubbed his leg.

"That hurt!" Shinichi cried as Hikaru gave him the look that meant no good, new topic he had see so many times doing bridge rock, Hikaru knew without a doubt who the song was for.

Did Shinichi want to put him through anymore pain by making Ren say her name out loud? did he really want to hammer the final nail in Hikaru's love coffin? Shinichi like Kanae sighed.

"Fine!" and the judging continued as expected, all the brothers seriously impressed with Ren's talent, but each giving him pointers, this was after all unlike acting their expertise.


Ren was waiting on tenterhooks in the rec room, food was being served her for the acts and the judges plus staff and crew, there was no end of congratulations, fawners and people who wanted to speak to Ren of cause, but honestly Ren was only awaiting one person and so far all of the judges had yet to show up. He was beginning to wonder if perhaps they were eating somewhere else when finally 5 of the six judges entered, what he didn't want was the three people that followed them.

Ren had completely forgotten about Sho... the entire reason he was here in the first place, but Sho had not forgotten! and when Mimori had come back to his dressing room to tell Sho how much everyone had loved Ren's performance and how he had almost pronounced his love to someone on stage, it had taken nearly all of Shoko's control techniques to stop Sho storming off to Ren's dressing room to beat him to a pulp, but now going to the rec room he was going to make sure that Ren knew his place! that he knew Kyoko was his and as Sho spotted Ren and both Shoko and Mimori tried to stop him Kanae sized up the situation and acted.

"Tsuruga-san! I believe someone has accidentally left something that could be yours in our green room, maybe you should go and see?" she called across to the man being swamped by people. It was all in the way she said it that Ren realised she was helping him.

'Something that could be his'... Kyoko wasn't with them.

"Oh thank you Kotonami-san, I will go and check right away." He said standing instantly and apologising to the people vying for his attention.

"Oh and be careful Tsuruga-san." He heard Chiori add as he walked towards the door looking at the Love Me number one and two he saw the same look in their eyes love, protection.

"It's breakable." Ren nodded he knew what they were saying, hurt Kyoko and he doubted his body would ever be found, he didn't even stop at Sho as he strode past him, Shoko holding him back as he tried to lunge for the taller, older man.


She was bustling around the room trying to keep herself busy, trying to find a reason not to have to go to the rec room. To not have to face the man she was in love with that so deeply loved someone he would write a song about her that could make Kyoko feel like it was possible to fall in love all over again.

She never heard Ren knock on the open door as he watched Kyoko straightening the make-up which the artist would use to touch up the judges before the show started again, she never even looked up as he entered the room and shut the door behind him.

"You do realise that was probably laid out so the artists knew where everything was don't you?" Kyoko almost flew as the voice of the man she had been hoping to avoid sounded behind her, she spun to face him and that heart breaking smile which Ren held only for her and Kyoko felt would be the death of her.

"Sorry I didn't mean to make you jump." he said as Kyoko scowled at him accusingly.

"You should have knocked Tsuruga-san." she said fighting down the feelings she had for the man before her.

"I did... twice." Ren said walking further into the rec room.

"Oh..." Kyoko simply said as she watched Ren carefully.

"I was shocked to see you not come to the rec room so I came to find you." Ren said looking for a subject on which to start.

"Oh did you need me?" Kyoko asked grasping what seemed to be a safe subject.

"Well I was actually going to tell you that you needed to eat and that an actress's body is her greatest tool so she should look after it, but honestly you do that speech so well I thought I would give you a chance to scold me by not being where the food was." Kyoko couldn't help it to begin with she had almost hit the flaw with her jaw but when Ren had looked at her with a small cheeky smile she couldn't help but giggle.

"Well you are right Tsuruga-san, you really should look after yourself." Ren smiled as she laughed a little more, he loved her laugh.

"Are you coming to eat?" he asked softly and Kyoko nodded.

"Yes sorry I was just..." She wasn't sure what she could really say she was doing... avoiding you sounded such a terrible thing to say she just blurted out the first thing that came to her head instead.

"She's a very lucky girl, the one you wrote your song for." Kyoko wanted to clobber herself with a spiked club, how could she go from a safe topic to the one that was the entire reason she wanted to avoid the man before her because off!

"Well she is very special, but I'm not so sure about lucky." Ren said slowly choosing his words carefully, now that opened up Kyoko's curiosity it was such a strange thing to say.

"Why would you say she's not lucky?" she asked after only a moment.

"Well I suppose she is lucky, It's just she doesn't know the song was written for her I suppose is why she's not lucky in the way you spoke." Now Kyoko really was confused.

"How can she not know you wrote the song for her? surely she would realise? after all those nice things you said about her?" Kyoko said looking at Ren, she gestured towards the door and he nodded, opening it for her they started a very slow walk towards the rec room.

"Well yes. I would have hoped she would realise it was all for her, but honestly I think she will only truly realise it if I tell her myself." Ren said as he halved his pace so Kyoko would not rush, always the proper woman she matched his pace perfectly.

"So why don't you tell her?" Kyoko asked, hating herself for talking about this, but at the same time thinking if she could hear the truth, maybe it would stop the pain in her heart.

"I'm scared." now Kyoko had definitely not expect that answer, she stopped stock still and stared at the man who stopped after another step and turned to face her.

"You? you're scared?" Kyoko said in a completely disbelieving tone as Ren nodded.

"But... but your Tsuruga Ren! you're the most wanted man in all of Japan, you could have anyone you wanted! how can you be scared!" Ren couldn't help it he laughed, she looked completely shocked by his word's.

"Because she's not just anyone, she's a one in a lifetime kind of woman and I'm scared that I'm not good enough for her and she will say no and run away from me." Ren answered it was the utter and simple truth put into words, Kyoko was a one in a trillion kind of girl.

"She's really special then, huh?" Kyoko questioned as her heart threatened to break once more in her chest, the heart that had not so long ago been glued back together by the man before her and when Ren nodded she felt the glue holding the pieces crack.

"Yes she really is." Come on Kyoko... come on ask me. Ren begged in his head, yet when Kyoko turned to him a smile on her lips, yet the pain in her eyes and asked.

"Come on then who is this amazing woman tsuruga-san?" Kyoko really didn't want to know she didn't want to be here! she wanted to run away so she could break down alone... she wanted her fairy clearing... she wanted Corn... oh how she wanted Corn, but she asked anyway. She asked and she smiled trying to do exactly as she had told Lory she would she tried to hide her love for the man before him and congratulate him on his love.

"Tell you what, If I win the show I will tell you. OK?" He had been all ready to tell kyoko here and now he loved her, but with the pain in her eyes... he just couldn't do it! Why did she looked so pained? had she realised it was her? had she realised and was trying to find a way to reject him? Kyoko would be the type... the type to feel hurt when she apologised ever so politely and said sorry but I don't feel the same way.

"If my song wins the show.. I'm sure I will have enough confidence to tell her, So i'll tell you then... OK?" Kyoko nodded and smiled even as her heart contracted tightly.

"Come on then lets go eat." Ren and Kyoko never even bothered as Sho was dragged away by Shoko with her hand over his mouth, Ren sat with Kyoko and the most of the talents and judges in the rec room, everyone chatting together and Kyoko was glad to see none taking her best friends comments too heart, thought she wondered if the lack of Sho and half of the high school pop idol group was because of this? but even still the mood was happy and light.


neither Kanae or Chiori asked Kyoko, who seemed lost in thought when they had their make-up prepped and re-entered the stage ready for the last part of the show. She seemed deep in thought? had Ren told her? or was it something else? Kanae wondered.

Had he not realised what she had offered up to him on a silver platter? a chance to tell Kyoko!? a chance to be alone with her?! she scoffed slightly as the on air light flashed green three times before turning ren to show they were yet again live... like she would ever set up a chance like that again for him! Kanae thought as the Ishabishi's welcomed the audience back and she and her friends added in their own words for a great ending to a great first show.

They were doing this to torture her Kyoko was sure as the stage hand smiling passed Kyoko the golden envelope, she tried to offer it to Hikaru who laughed and told her to do the honours as

Kyoko faking a large smile accepted her fate. He won of course... how could he not? Kyoko remembered herself thinking, but that was the last thing she thought about as Kyoko simply locked herself away.

Her body went through all the motion's finishing the show with the smile on her face congratulations Ren with a smile a hug a laugh. She couldn't tell you the charity he gave too, she couldn't tell you how loud the audience clapped or what was said really. She just did as she had been asked to do.

"As soon as she was re-dressed and ready, she said goodbye to her fellow hosts and ignoring both Kanae's and Chiori's questions, demands and concerns. She simply left.

Kanae was ready to kill Ren by this point and Chiori wasn't far behind her, so when they exited the green room to find Ren standing there waiting, the Ishabishi's who were unsure of what had happened or what was going on, really got to see Kanae's claws as she unleashed them on Ren.

"What the hell did you say to her? what the earth did you do?!" she shouted as Ren looked completely and utterly confused.

"I...Who? I haven't done anything!" Ren said as he looked at the furious woman before him, he was only waiting to do exactly what he knew he had too... he had to tell Kyoko.

"I... where's Kyoko?" he asked suddenly realising she wasn't with them yet again.

"She left! refused to talk to us simply up and left as soon as she was ready! so don't you dare say you did or said nothing to upset her!" Ren looked completely and utterly boggled and Chiori who had more of a hold on her emotions placed a hand on Kanae's arm stopping her tirade.

"What did you and Kyoko talk about when you came to fetch her?" she asked as Ren looked at them all.

"I told her the woman was very special and I would be able to tell her who it was if I won the show." He too now wasn't really thinking as he answered, why was Kyoko running away? was he right was she scared of hurting him by saying no? or was it something else.

Chiori squeezed Kanae's arm as she seemed to be about to scream at Ren again.

"Well you had better go catch up with her and tell her, she only left a few minutes ago you should be able to catch her." Ren simply stood there looking confused as he tried to decided if he really could face this? if he really could tell her?

"If you don't someone else will." Everyone was surprised as Hikaru stepped forwards and looked at Ren.

"Could you accept that?" Ren shook his head as he straightened.

"Then you better hurry." and with a nod, Ren was off down the corridor running.

"Boss?" Yuusei asked softly as Hikaru's shoulders drooped slightly.

"She deserves to be happy." When Hikaru turned back around to face them all, a smile was fixed on his face yet the pain was still visible in his eyes.

"So who's up for a late night snack? my treat." he asked clapping his hands together, he needed to do something or he would fall into depression he knew as his two best friends and the two Love Me girls looked at him worried, it was Shinichi that answered finally as he smiled.

"Count me in! Free food who would say no!" Kanae who really didn't want anymore calories to add onto her already long gym session tomorrow decided that Hikaru probably needed comfort more than herself the guilt of leaving him alone.

"Fine, but nothing too fattening." she said smiling and Chiori smiled and nodded too, with every new love there had to be a new heart break, it was sad but true as the five of them left together. That night they ate and drank together as friends and Hikaru even though he would hurt for his loss of Kyoko a little longer started to heal in the company of friends.


"KYOKO!" Ren cried as he spotted the woman walking quickly down the sidewalk, he didn't even look as he swerved across and onto the sidewalk beside her, she didn't look at him to begin with, but she stopped.

"Mogami Kyoko, get in this car right now." he knew he was ordering her, he knew he was forcing her to act as she always would, but it had gone on too long now, he had run away long enough.

"Get in the car Kyoko." and she did.

Neither of them spoke as Ren drove, he drove out of the city and onto one of the mountain roads. Kyoko never even glanced his way as he drove up to one of the viewing points and parked the car up and waited.

"You asked me to tell you yet you left before I could... Why?" Ren finally asked when he realised Kyoko wasn't going to speak first. It shocked him when without even looking at him Kyoko opened her door and stepped out of the car shutting the door behind her. he watched as she stepped up to the viewing rail and leant on it, before he followed her.

He didn't get close just stood a few paces behind her and waited, it was almost five minutes before she spoke.

"I just didn't know how you would feel telling someone like me first, so I thought I would save you the trouble." Koun could hear the catch in her voice, he was Kuon now Ren was but a act he played for other people, Kuon was who he was. Kyoko was the one who had taught him that maybe Kuon wasn't as bad as he believed that maybe Ren was just a variation of Kuon and if the boss was to believe a boring one with no love life and basically a wimp.

"But what if I wanted to tell your first, you and no one else?" he heard it then the slight sniff as he watched Kyoko reach up and rub her eye's... was she crying? she sniffed again before answering and yes, he could hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm not sure how I'll react and I'm sorry if it's not what you would like." So she was going to reject him, Kuon thought as he stood there behind her watching the Tokyo city lights far below, the city that had become his home all those years ago when he felt like he had none. the country that had accepted him when he thought no one would ever again and then to the girl that had opened and mended his broken heart when he had believe it was beyond repair.

"It's funny really." Kuon started, even if she did reject him he knew he had to do it.

"She's the cleverest, brightest person I've ever met and still I'm not sure if she is just pretending not to know so she doesn't hurt me or if she truly doesn't know just how much she means too me." he heard Kyoko sob stronger and hated himself for putting her through any type of pain, but he had promised himself... promised her and he had always promised he would never break a promise again as he continued.

"She's the only girl I can truly be myself around and even when I'm stupid and think I've scared her away. She amazes me by coming back again." It was so true, so many times he could have scared her away and no Kyoko was right back with him. The incident practicing for dark moon, that time he had beat up the people trying to chat her up when Cain heel, god all of the things he had done as Cain Heel, almost killing Murasame, breaking her phone when Sho called and throwing her onto her bed.

She had always come back to him even when he didn't believe he deserved it.

"And the thing is, I believe she should be scared... she should run from me because the truth is I've done so many bad things in my life...I've hurt so many people through my own anger and stupidity... I've even hurt her and I hate myself for it... I hated myself so badly for it I even made her hate me." He wasn't sure when Kyoko's sobbing had stopped, but she turned to him now tears shining on her cheeks heart in her mouth as she asked softly.

"How could anyone hate you Ren?" the use of his stage name without honorifics should have made his heart glad but it didn't... Ren was just a character, he wanted to hear her say his real name the name that he should have stopped running away from so long ago, that it had become almost impossible to do so until that moment.

"Because I lied to her... I lied to everyone Kyoko... My name... My really name is ..." Kyoko watched as the man before her swallowed hard, her heart was shattering slowly but she hated how he spoke about himself, she hated how he seemed to disparage himself with every word, every letter in his musings. Even if he was breaking her heart she couldn't stand to hear him hurting himself, not when she could stop him.

"My name...huh.." he laughed coldly

"It may as well be murderer." Her heart stopped, what in the earth was he talking about? this man who had always been to her Tsuruga Ren... what could he mean, but Kuon was on a roll now if he was going to tell her the truth he was going to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"I caused my best friends death you know, me and my stupidity made it so my best friend.. the only person who ever truly seemed to understand me died... because of me... trying to save me! He died and I could do nothing but stand there and watch. I can still remember every second... every heart beat of that day as I watch the car strike him and throw him to the pavement... to his death and every moment I have to live with the knowledge it was my fault." It was like a crack in a dam, it started as a small leak and slowly but surely it got stronger and faster, everything every little detail everything wrong in his life he had ever done came flowing out as Kyoko stood there before him listening and as always with Kyoko not judging him!

How could one person be so understanding? how could one person have a heart as big as her body and yet have people who could hurt her? how could Sho ever have said any of those things when Kyoko was so pure, so untainted by the horrors and sin unlike every other person? to him she was like a baby or maybe an angel. So pure so innocent and yet still so understanding.

Kyoko listened, how could she not when the man before her seemed to be bleeding if anything more than the friend he described to her, bleeding not his blood but his heart and soul out to her, here on this lonely mountain pass. She even forgot the reason they were there for, for a time as the man before her spoke and although she could not agree with things this man had done in his youth, she could also not hold them against him. He had been a child then, a child making mistakes through pride and hurt. Had she too not made mistakes? she had trusted the wrong person, loved the wrong boy and followed what she thought was a shooting star only to find out it was a dying firefly.

When Kuon had admitted to all his sins he stood before her feeling bare and broken, he awaited what he expected to be scathing words, hate and more hurt... yet in her eyes she saw only understanding. He had broken himself down before her and know all Kyoko could think to do was build him back up again.

"Hello my name is Mogami Kyoko." she said softly as she watched the man before her eyes lock onto hers and hold them there.

"Hello Kyoko, my name is Hizuri Kuon." his words were as quiet as hers as he spoke, the complete shock in her eyes as he said his name for the first time in years and the way it felt to be honest gave him the push he needed.

"And the truth is Kyoko, I am very much in love with you, you are my reason"


Bit of a weird one shot for you, that I found on my computer.

Thanks for reading.

Neh xxx