Chapter 1: Starry Tears
It was a Wednesday night when he got the news.
Rain hammered down against the windows, and the streets were cloaked in black. Leon would have ignored it if the phone hadn't rung at that forsaken hour.
Leon grumbled to himself about the time of night, before throwing on a robe and massaging his temples. He picked up the phone and answered with a, "yeah?" His voice was gruff. "Who is it?"
Not twenty seconds after the other voice spoke the news, did Leon drop the phone, and fall to his knees.
Maria.
It had been an accident, really.
On account of the officer, Maria had been driving back late from shopping. The roads were treacherous due to the rain, but the general store had only been a short drive. She didn't think of the risks involved.
She hit a dark corner, swerved, and crashed straight into an empty house. The impact had killed her instantly.
Maria didn't have any family, as far as he knew. She had been an orphan with Leon as long as he could remember, and then some. He was listed as her first emergency contact. He had to go in and identify her body.
Leon sighed, and glanced at the small pair of eyes peeking up at him.
"Where's Mama?"
Almost no family, anyway.
"It is said here that were anything to happen to her, you would gain custody of her daughter. It was what she wished. Do you have any objections?"
"...No. I'll do it."
"Good. We'll appoint a social worker to assess your case every two weeks, just to make sure the adjustments are there. You will receive a grant to support Luna's basic care, but the rest will be up to you, sir."
"Then I guess I'll have to put everything I have into it. I've got no choice, after all."
Leon didn't know much about children. He didn't know much about Luna.
He knew the circumstances that led to her birth, but Maria and he had fallen out of contact in the past year. She had Luna to take care of, and Leon had been skirting around ruins and relics of ages past. Paper letters were incredibly good keepsakes, but were perfect to not tell the truth and honey words of exploits.
Two hours into her coming to live with him, she had already claimed the corner in the kitchen as hers, underneath the small breakfast bar. She refused to come out.
"Luna, you can't stay there forever. Please, come out?"
She shook her head and buried her face in her huddled knees. "I'm not coming out until Mama tells me to."
He felt his heart twist.
"Mama tells me when to come out. Mama cooks me dinner. Not you. Mama does."
He felt his eyes prick again, but forced the sensation to be stifled. He scratched behind his ears, and crouched down.
"If you're not going to come out, can I sit next to you?"
Her beady eyes stared up at him, before wordlessly shuffling over.
Leon was not a small man, and the sight of him crouching down next to a pouting child underneath a breakfast bar could have made a good look in a comedy sketch.
But this was not a comedic moment, made all the more apparent when Luna lifted her head to let the cascade of tears fall down her chubby face.
"I want Mama." She sniffed, and wiped under her eyes with her sleeves. "But she's not coming back, is she? Those " Her big eyes caught ahold of Leon's eyeline, and her look was heartbreaking. "Why did they take her? Why isn't she coming back?"
Leon put a hand on her head, and rummaged his head for an explanation. When he was younger, Maria had conjured up ridiculous stories that stars were souls guiding their loved ones to a better future. The belief held little credibility, but looking into Luna's puzzled and confused eyes...
"Sometimes, heaven needs more angels to make the stars shine. Your Mama must have been the best soul they could find."
The funeral was on a sunny Friday, and in a field of marked gravestones and forget-me-nots, it took the strength of a soldier for Leon to pull Luna away from digging the dirt back up off her mother's grave.
After the funeral was done, Leon picked Luna up in his arms, and they walked through the streets she played in with Maria. Echoes of his own childhood come in the form of a faded hopscotch drawn with abandoned chalk; using the laces from their shoes as puppet-strings; and using leaves and sticks to make their own home, where no adults could ever hurt them.
The stage was a canopy of twinkling stars, winking down at them, though Leon ignored them. Instead, he ventured up to the Observatory on the edge of town, letting Luna look over the town she won't leave without a terrible memory attached.
"Look up there," he pointed. "One of those stars is your Mama. Can you find it?"
He could see how tired she was, but she still searched with those large eyes of hers. Her head craned left, whipped right, and leaned back until she nearly fell from his strong grip.
Eventually, Luna pointed.
"That one."
If Leon was honest, he could barely see the one she pointed at. He squinted and tilted his head, before Luna used her hands to crane his head in the right direction.
"See?"
In a patch of sky that was mainly covered in wispy cloud, one star shone, however dimly, through the grey.
"Mama is that star."
Leon didn't take his eyes off of it. "Why do you think so?"
"Because she likes clouds."
Leon felt a tear slide down his cheek. "Yeah… yeah, she really does."
Whoever said children do not grieve, in Leon's opinion, deserved a punch to the face.
Looking after a grieving and depressed child was no easy task. On the rare visits he used to give, Luna used to hug his knees and sit on his shoulder, eager to learn about the places he had been and the artifacts he had dug up.
But now that the two were living together, well…
"Go away! You're stupid and I want my Mama!"
Had become her catchphrase.
Luna was not a social child to begin with. She loved the company of the few adults she was close to. She preferred books and imagination to other children and games that involved running. But her mood swings were chaotic. She would be clingy, then lash out if he said one thing wrong, then she would smack him, and the cycle would repeat.
But the worse part of it was when she withdrew completely, and became catatonic.
"Luna…"
She stared up at that same spot on the wall of the spare room (she refused to call it hers), her face pale as a sheet, and blink to the sound of the clock ticking by. A month in, and she did this every week.
"Are you hungry? I made fried rice. You like that, don't you?"
Still no response. Only another blink. Leon sighed and put the plate on top of the dresser.
The social worker had told Leon to be honest in simple terms when speaking of death to Luna. She was a complex child with issues of trust and socialising, and the loss of a major support figure would damage her for years. Leon was the best person for her to stay with because she would at least talk to him.
Leon scratched behind his head, before sitting down on the floor and staring up at the spot on the wall.
Slowly, out the corner of his eye, he saw Luna turn her head to look at him.
"Can I tell you a secret, Luna?"
Luna shrugged. It was something, at least.
"I don't know what it's like to lose a Mama."
He could see the flaring anger in her eyes, through her trembling hands clenched up in a tight fist. Still, he kept calm and collected, still staring up at the spot on the wall.
"Because I've never had one. My Mama-whoever she was-left me when I was very little. So I don't know how it feels to lose one."
Luna's tiny fist uncurled a little. "...Never?"
He shook his head. "That's where I met your Mama. We grew up together in a big house full of kids who had no Mama's or Papa's. We were all a little muddled up when other people talked about parents, because nobody there ever had one."
"...I don't have a Papa."
"I know you don't. Your Mama raised you all by herself." Leon finally caught her eye. "But I've never had a Mama or a Papa, so I don't know what it feels like to lose one. So I might say something that makes you sad, but it wouldn't make me sad. Do you understand?"
She broke eye-contact with him, but nodded.
"So when you don't tell me when I've upset you, I don't know how to fix it." Leon sighed. "Did you tell your Mama what was wrong, when you lived with her?"
"Mm-hm."
"Did she try her best to fix it?"
"Mm."
Luna let go of her knees, and put her feet on the floor. Leon walked over to her, before kneeling in front of her.
"I want you to know that I'm not trying to take your Mama's place, Luna. I'd never do that. She was important to you, and to me. Nobody could ever take her place." He put a hand on her head. "But I'm doing my best to take care of you, so that you can be safe and protected. Your Mama said that, if anything ever happened to her, she wanted me to look after you." Leon smiled a little. "Do you think you can help me do that, so her star is happy?"
Luna's eyes widened. "Did I make her sad?"
"No." Leon said, voice firm. "No, Luna, you never made her sad at all. You made her so, so happy. But you're allowed to be sad, and you're allowed to be angry. But I need you to talk to me if I do something to upset you, so I can do my best to fix it."
Luna twiddled with her thumbs. "What if I don't want to talk?"
"Then that's fine. I won't force you to."
Luna looked down and blushed. He saw the red flush sweep across her face and down to her neck. "...You're not trying to be a Papa, are you?"
Leon was taken-aback. "I…" For a moment, he was rendered speechless. The thought hadn't really entered his mind until she had brought it up. Is that how he came across? He cleared his throat, and continued. "Well, would you want me to be one?"
She mulled it over, before shaking her head. "I only have a Mama. Leo is just Leo." She peered back over at him. "Is that okay?"
A kind, soft smile came to his face, and he put a hand to her head again, ruffling up her hair, making her giggle. "It's fine, Luna." She looked up at him with those beady eyes again, with that small grin quirking her lips, and his heart warmed. "It's absolutely fine."
They decorated her new room that weekend.
Luna mixed dark blue with red and purple, and called it "stars in a can", and put her hand prints all over the wall.
It was the most beautiful piece of nonsensical art he had ever seen.
The smile that was on Luna's face after her masterpiece was finished, however, had no match.
a/n: This will most likely be three-chapters, and rest assured, Frey will be introduced soon. Please review!
