Chapter 1

The first thing he felt was pain. Where exactly that pain came from, he had yet to determine. Slowly, he became aware of his surroundings. He was lying on something soft, that much was obvious. And there was a familiar scent lingering in the air, although he couldn't quite grasp what it was. It felt like his soul was slowly trickling back into his body.

The pain, now clearer, was coming mainly from his chest, he determined. He opened his eyes and groaned, it felt like someone had poured the entire desert of Sahara in them. He sat up, and looked around. He was sitting in the four poster bed he had slept in for most of the past seven years.

The memories came back, crashing down on him. The battle, Fred and Remus and Tonks. It´s over, it´s finally done. He should feel relived, but all he felt was emptiness. The relief would come, eventually, but at that moment, there was too much to grieve. The losses were too great. He looked to the bedside table where an empty bottle, which he remembered had contained a dreamless-sleep potion given to him by Hermione, stood.

Almost as if on autopilot, he stood up and moved to the bathroom he used to share with Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus. It was empty now, much to his relief. He took of his clothes and got into the shower, turning the water on and the heat up. Blindly, he picked up a bottle of shampoo and started rinsing his hair. First once, then again until he finally felt like he had gotten out the last of the grime and dirt. Grabbing a soap, he started washing every inch of himself, ignoring the pain from all the countless cuts he had all over his body. When he was done, he just stood there, letting the water run over him. After a minor eternity he stepped out and grabbed one of the towels hanging right by the shower. Carelessly he started drying himself. All too soon he had completed that task and was left to stare at himself in the large mirror. The first thing he noticed was the giant, purple bruise spreading across his entire chest. The bruise was the cause of the pain that had initially woken him up. He continued to look at his reflection, stopping now and then to heal some larger cuts with the wand he hardly even realized he had brought with him into the bathroom.

He felt a slight tinge of happiness over the feeling of the familiar wand in his hand, like the two had missed each other during those long months of being apart. But the feeling was soon overtaken by a heavy sense of grief.

He walked back out into the room and noticed Ron and Hermione, sleeping entangled on the bed that had previously belonged to Ron. He didn't know if they had been there before or if they arrived while he was in the shower, but he felt a sense of relief seeing them, like his brain had needed evidence to convince him that they were alive. With heavy steps, he returned back to his own bed and fell asleep before his head even reached the pillow.

He awoke, not to pain this time, but to someone he really didn't expect.

"Kreacher" he said, or rather, tried to say. The only thing that came out of his throat was a hoarse cackling sound. The house elf handed him a goblet with what turned out to be pumpkin juice. Kreacher then handed him a tray of sandwiches.

"Master Harry must eat" he said insistently. Harry just nodded and grabbed a sandwich.

Kreacher made sure Harry ate all of the sandwiches before he disappeared with a pop and returned soon after with a potion and a piece of paper.

"Madam Pomfrey insists that Master drink this, and this is from the professor McGonagall. Kreacher must go now, they need him in the kitchen. Master must call if he needs anything" and with that he disappeared with a final pop. Harry regarded the potion suspiciously before determining that it probably wasn't poison and drinking it in one large gulp. It was, as he expected, positively disgusting but effective. After just a couple of seconds the pain melted away and he sighed of relief. Secondly came the note from McGonagall.

Mr. Potter.

Meet me in the headmaster's office at eleven, I believe that there are things that need discussing.

He sighed again, this time for another reason. He didn't want to talk to McGonagall, he could guess what it was she wanted to discuss and he wasn't ready to talk about it. But still he looked at the watch one the bedside table. 10.47. A quick look out the window told him that it was eleven in the morning rather than night. Reluctantly he got up from the bed and, after only a moment´s hesitation, pulled on his invisibility cloak before leaving the room.

The hallways were almost deserted, he presumed most people were still in the Great Hall or sleeping, so the walk to the headmaster´s office didn't take that very long. The statue that guarded the entrance had been repaired and put back in its place, which was unfortunate since he didn´t know the password.

"Umm, I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall" he said, suddenly feeling like a first year in trouble. The statue gave him a once over before nodding and swinging to the side to reveal the moving staircase. Soon he stood before the large oak door. Hesitantly he knocked and got a faint "Come in" as response. He opened the door to reveal a grim looking Minerva McGonagall, sitting behind the large desk.

"Sit Potter" she said and motioned for the chair he knew all to well.

"So" she continued after he was seated "I presume that the details concerning what exactly happened between you and you-know… Voldemort is still strictly confidential" she stopped, as if hoping he would oppose her, he just nodded. "Well then Potter, according to Miss Granger you have been asleep for almost 48 hours which means that there are a couple of things you should know". Some part of him recognized that he had probably broken some kind of personal record, but that part was overshadowed by the immense grief he was doing everything to suppress.

She paused again, waiting for him to say something, but he kept quiet until she cleared her throat and continued.

"It has decided that a memorial will be held, in honor of those who died in the battle" faces flashed briefly before his eyes and he nodded. "The ceremony will be held here at Hogwarts in about a month. Right now, we are assembling volunteers from the reparation works that needs to be done. Everyone who went to school this year will have to retake the year, because of the… insufficient education. All of this was announced last night" he nodded again, wanting the talk to be over. She continued to brief him on all that had happened when he was asleep before finally letting him go.

Instead of going to the Great Hall or the common room where there would be people who would want to talk to him about the last few days, he opted for the opposite direction. Still partly dumb, he walked until he found himself standing under the tree by the lake. It was peaceful and quiet, so he sat down, hidden from the prying eyes of the castle.

He had almost nodded off when he heard a voice shout his name. Alarmed he looked up, with his wand already halfway out of his pocket. But he dropped it after a second when he saw who it was.

She was as beautiful as usual, with her red hair flowing behind her, half walking half running towards him. Quickly he stood up to face her, suddenly nervous.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER" she shouted again when she came closer and, much to his surprise, slapped him across the face. "HOW DARE YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! AFTER REMUS, AND TONKS AND" her voice hitched "AND FRED!" her face was red, and her eyes glowing with anger and sadness. Up close he could see that she had been crying, her eyes res and puffy.

"I´m sorry" he said "but I had to". Immediately after he said it he knew that it had been a mistake.

"YOU HAD TO? YOU HAD TO?! THE ONLY THING YOU HAD TO DO, WAS TO SURVIVE!" which I did, he thought but felt it unwise to say so.

"YOU! YOU LEFT ME FOR MONTHS, MONTHS! AND THEN THIS! YOU ABSOLUTE ARSE, YOU…" she was just about to continue when he put a hand over her mouth.

"I love you Ginny" he said, his voice thick "I love you and I left you. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore or if you… if you met someone else. If that's the case I will leave you alone from now on. But if not… We can´t just pick it up where we left off, it doesn't work like that. But I would like to try, with something. Anything". Then he removed his hand from her mouth. She was quiet for a moment.

"You know I have six…" she paused and swallowed "five brothers who will tear you to pieces if you break up with me"

"I know" he said "although I´m not really worried about them, I´ve seen you Bat-Bogie hex in action and I have no intention of being on the receiving end of one off those. A small smile played over her lips.

"Good" she said and pulled him down with her so they both were leaning against the tree, her face buried in his chest and his face in her hair. It smelled wonderful, he thought, it smelled… like home.

"It´s going to be alright" she whispered.

"Yeah" he whispered back.