Sincerely Signed Clinton
by Megan Auffart
*This is a parady of the Calvin and Hobbes poem by Bill Watterson about Calvin receiving a letter from Santa Clause encouraging misbehavior. I apologize if anyone is offended by the content, but I know next to nothing about Bill Clinton besides the Monica Lewinski affair and the Kosovo attack, so I had to make due with what I knew. Sorry.*
Eyes wide in amazement,
my face had gone pale.
A letter from Clinton
had arrived in the mail.
It was typed on paper
with the USA seal.
I opened the letter.
Here's what it revealed:
"Dear Megan" he wrote,
"I'm answering back
about Kosovo
and our... (*ahem*) ...attack
"It seems that our airplanes
had made a mistake.
We'd been aiming for France
but one missed, for Christ's sake!
"I had to proclaim it
was all a good deed
because ethnic Muslims,
our friends, were in need.
"And about my adventures
with Monica L.?
'Twasn't improper.
Monica fell.
"She had lost her straw
and well...you know the rest.
But why the heck didn't she
dry-clean her dress?
"But the truth of it is
[CONTENT EXCLUDED]
Sincerely signed, Clinton."
And thus it concluded.
You may not believe it
though I can't see why.
Just ask yourselves truly:
Would Bill Clinton lie?
by Megan Auffart
*This is a parady of the Calvin and Hobbes poem by Bill Watterson about Calvin receiving a letter from Santa Clause encouraging misbehavior. I apologize if anyone is offended by the content, but I know next to nothing about Bill Clinton besides the Monica Lewinski affair and the Kosovo attack, so I had to make due with what I knew. Sorry.*
Eyes wide in amazement,
my face had gone pale.
A letter from Clinton
had arrived in the mail.
It was typed on paper
with the USA seal.
I opened the letter.
Here's what it revealed:
"Dear Megan" he wrote,
"I'm answering back
about Kosovo
and our... (*ahem*) ...attack
"It seems that our airplanes
had made a mistake.
We'd been aiming for France
but one missed, for Christ's sake!
"I had to proclaim it
was all a good deed
because ethnic Muslims,
our friends, were in need.
"And about my adventures
with Monica L.?
'Twasn't improper.
Monica fell.
"She had lost her straw
and well...you know the rest.
But why the heck didn't she
dry-clean her dress?
"But the truth of it is
[CONTENT EXCLUDED]
Sincerely signed, Clinton."
And thus it concluded.
You may not believe it
though I can't see why.
Just ask yourselves truly:
Would Bill Clinton lie?
