She is the One Named Sailor Fruit Author's notes: *gigantic sweatdrop* This is what happens when I spend too much time in school, my friends. I start hearing little voices in my head that call themselves Sailor Fruit. So, just sit back and read this tale... I must say, I wrote it in a rush so it isn't the best thing I have ever written, but I certainly had fun doing it and that's all that matters.

"She is the One Named Sailor Fruit"

It was a squishy summer morning... actually, it was a dark and stormy night. Okay, so it wasn't that either. It was an overcast afternoon, and as usual the Sailor Scouts were going about kicking the bad guy's butts. Or at least, most of them were, any way. I said "as usual", and that means, of course, that Sailor Moon was being a royal pain to everybody else. But, surprisingly, it didn't matter that much, because they were winning. Very easily, in fact, on account of the fact that the icky little beastie that they were fighting (which looked like a Death Bunny from Hell) seemed to have a weakness against Jupiter's electric attacks. Things were good.
.......At least... things WERE going well. But, all of a sudden, the Death Bunny from Hell started to glow, and she transformed into an EVIL, AWFUL, HORRIBLE er.... thing.
"What... no, WHO in God's name is THAT?!" Sailor Uranus burst out, staring at this new manifestation of evil.
"I... really don't know," was Sailor Mercury's reply. She stared at it, dumbfounded, because it wasn't really like anything they had ever seen before. In truth, it was... well, bizarre.
The thing, in truth, seemed to be almost human... SEEMED to be. She- if it was female- was only about five feet tall, and dressed in an outfit much like that of the Sailor Scouts, except that it was... black. At first she didn't appear threatening, but a closer look washed that away completely, for her fact... was the most hideous thing ever seen. Shining black eyes void of any pupil or iris, and skin like the soul of a demon. Most disturbing of all was her cold smile, chilling like a north wind.
Sailor Moon's eyes nearly popped out of her head. She broke down and cried a fountain of tears.... nobody was surprised at this. Nobody told her to get her act together, either, because they were all a bit distracted by the Thingy. They all just kind of stared, waiting for it to make a move...

A few minutes later, they were still staring, because the thingy didn't do anything yet. Now, Sailor Uranus was getting kind of ticked, because she wanted to be out of there as soon as possible. Let's face it, the others might have had nothing better to do, but she and Neptune had quite a busy schedule. So, she decided to stir things up a bit... sort of. Er.... meaning that she attacked the bloody thing with one of those cool blasts that I can't remember the name of. And it would have totally killed it..... had it not missed.
The thing just kind of smiled at her, and whispered with a voice like death itself "Your efforts are and always will be wasted...."
As everyone else snapped out of it and Uranus just kind of stood there confused, the Thing continued, tossing back her hair as if she could just destroy them with a touch of her finger. "They call me Sayuri, and really, you shouldn't be doing this.. you have better things to do, as have I. So, begone and leave me to my business."

After breaking out of her usual crying spell, Sailor Moon stood and tried to reclaim her dignity. "Hey, you! You won't get away! I am Sailor Moon, champion of-MMPH!!!" Her annoying little speech was quite silenced when Sailor Uranus covered her big yap.
"Shut up," she said, glaring at her. "Let me handle this."
"Oh, come on," Sayuri whispered. "Let the brat have her fun. Besides, it isn't as if a dyke like you can harm me."
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

Now, if Uranus hadn't been royally pissed before, she certainly was now. Nobody likes being called a dyke, even if they ARE one. So, she was about to blow her top..... until, a voice rang out of the shadows.
"Your time has come, Sayuri! You're going down!"
There was a sudden silence from the Sailor Scouts and a look of incredible amusement from out of nowhere there appeared someone new... someone strange... someone very bizarre. She, too, was dressed as a Sailor Scout, but her outfit was every colour imaginable, and her hair matched it exactly. However, there IS one thing I should mention... she looked as if she had been drinking a liiiiittle too much espresso, if you know what I mean. And suddenly, she broke into a speech, never once moving her eyes away from Sayuri.
"I stand for love! I stand for justice! I stand for rainbows and pink triangles! I will right wrongs and triumph over homophobes like you! I am Sailor Fruit, and I will punish you!"

"Sailor...."
".....Fruit?"
"I think this one's off her rocker."
"She stole my speech! Augh!"
And so on, and so on.... the Sailor Scouts were rather confused, which is understandable. I mean, if YOU suddenly met a bizarre Sailor Scout wannabe who called themselves Sailor Fruit, wouldn't you feel a bit odd?
Any way, Sayuri took one look at Sailor Fruit and started laughing her head off. "Oh please.... really! You should go into a comedy act!"
"Oh yeah? Take this!" And a bright red light struck down from the sky, surrounding Sailor Fruit. Other colours came, too, until there was an incredible column of light. "Yume's Rainbow Scroll!!!" Sailor Fruit shouted. The light shot at Sayuri and in seconds there was nothing left of her but a little pink blob. And then, the mysterious scout disappeared....
....leaving the other scouts stunned and confused.
"......what just... happened here?" Jupiter wondered aloud, blinking.
"I haven't the foggiest," Mercury replied, shaking her head. "But I believe that it would be best if we don't mention this to anyone."
"Amen to that."

So, you're wondering how I know about this whole fiasco? Well, to put it simply, I was there. I was off to the side, in the shadows.... and to tell you the truth, I hope we NEVER, EVER hear from Sailor Fruit again. She's creepier than a sugarhigh Sailor Moon..... though, considering fate, I have a funny feeling that the Fruity One will be making an appearance again. But, no matter. If the fish listens well.......