I woke up with my messy hair sticking to my sweaty face. I hurt my eyes as they shot open at the sound of a notification from my NEC X981UHD 98" Ultra High Definition MultiSync Heavy Duty Large Forma. I compleltely forgot the sloth that had once swallowed me and sprang off my soft mattress. I had been waiting for months. It should've arrived yesterday, but the server was too damn packed. I quickly logged in and went straight to my more "private files" as some would say. Not like I had anybody to hide from though, I mean, I'm a complete hermit after all. Suddenly I fell out of my IKEA swivel chair with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
"Y-y-YESSS! ITS FINALLY HERE!"
I jumped up from the overwhelming feeling of happiness. It had finally arrived. YES YES YES. She had finally arrived.
"Activating Downlaodable Intelligence And NEtsurfing partner"
Announced a robotic female voice. I couldn't believe this was really happening. About one year ago - well on November 21st of last year to be exact - I heard about "DIANE."
It had been all over the forums I visit, "Sign up now for the latest software!", or "Preorder now!"
now it's not that I wasn't used to seeing these kinds of adds all the time, because I am, it's just... Something was different. So I decided to see what all the hype was about. Well soon two minutes of trivia turned into eight weeks of nonstop research.
DIANE . She was this new program that had been leaked from some independent software company called GIANT CLAN. There wasn't much about her, just that she went by female pronouns, and she was supposed to be an AI designed to accompany people through daily tasks on their electronics. Basically she was to help hermits such as I have some sort of social life. I wanted to know so much more about her, but after those three weeks nothing new surfaced.
One day I got an email with the headline, "ANNOUNCED DETAILS NEW AI." It intrigued me to say the least. I opened the email and was blown away. It had been sent from one of the sites with information on DIANE I had visited. Basically it spoke of what kind of hardware she required and what she would be able to do.
But what caught my eye was something else.
She would be to feel. She was able to Think. Say. See. Experience. She would be her.
This seemed so surreal. I really didn't believe that it was possible for a computer to have such capabilities. Sure her compatibility with any other program was impressive, but the fact that she was her own person... Now that- that was fantasy.
After being awe-stricken, I read the last line of the email.
"Preorders now being taken! Release date set for December 24th! Be the first to own your own DIANE!"
So obviously I preordered, couldn't have cared less on the price. I'd never been so impatient before waiting for a program. At last, she had finally arrived. Hearing the starting up sequence excited me beyond belief. I really couldn't believe she was finally here.
"DIANE is now activated"
