I do not own the house of the dead series nor do I own anything else besides this parody.

OK…On to the ummm whats the word I'm looking for?Ummm…oh yeah a parody!

Chapter 1:Ass-cape

Kate: Our fucking reinforcements haven't arrived yet!

James:Damn it bitch!Be Patient or else I'll take you out if this one grenade!

Kate:You are a ass-hole and a idiot! Couldn't you use that to take down the door!?

James:Oh yeah!(Throws Grenade at door)

Zombie 1:GIVE ME YOUR MILK!!!!

(grenade explodes)

Zombie 1:Ahhhhhh no I'm dying I can see the light and my life flashing before me ahhh I'm dying!

Kate:Ohhh just shut up(Pulls out a shotgun outta nowhere and shoot zombie 1)

James:Isn't that the shotgun from House Of The Dead 3?

(Back In House Of The Dead 3)

Thomas:Where's my shotgun?

(Back here in house of the dead 4)

Kate:These are all the weapons I could find.

James:What happened to the shotgun?

Kate:Threw it away.It had only one fucking bullet and no grenade button!

James:We don't need a grenade button…we can just throw the grenade at the enemy!

Kate:Whoops! Wonder where it ended up?

(In Goldman's office)

(Gun hit's Goldman in the grind)

Goldman:OH MY FUCKING GOD OWWW!

(Back)

Kate:Let's GO!

Kate:The elevator hall is proberly (Sings the Beyonce irreplaceable "To The Left")

(A zombie comes out)

Zombie:AHHHH singing!(Explodes)

James:Nice Job!

Kate:Let's move on

(We skip to the part where Kate says so much destruction)

(Claw Zombies climb out from the hole)

James: Wait how do you know where to find us and if this was a trap how'd you know we would come here?

Claw Zombie 1:Ummmm by luck?

James:Works for me!

Kate: (Shoot's like hell but didn't hit the zombies)

James: I though I was bad…

(James Shoot one bullet and hits both zombies)

(Suddenly Justice Appears outta nowhere)

James:Wait a minute…Shouldn't you appear later.

Justice:Rawrrr Rawrrrr(Change of plans by sega)

Kate:Oh…damn sega

(The Justice fights begains)

(Justice grabs James And Kate but Kate sneezes and justice drops them)

Justice:EWWWWW!!!

James:WTF!?Since when can you talk!?

Justice:I can't talk

Kate:Yes…you can

Justice:Ummm ahhh ummm Rawrrr?

Kate:Oh… he can't talk.

(James give Kate a sarcastic look)

James:Are you like a fucking retard or something?

Kate:What's a retard?

James:Nevermind

(While they were arguing justice grabs them)

(Kate shoots at justice tongue while they were grabbed)

Justice:ARGHH ARGHHH (You were suppose to shake the gun retard!)

Kate: I AM NOT A RETARD!!!

James:Correct…She's a fucking retard!

Kate:Then you are a aus-ser

Justice:DAMN IT CONTINUE FIGHTING

James & Kate:FINE

(Justice reaches them but when he tried to hurt them by falling he falls on the walland the rocks crush him which kills him instantly)

Kate:That was easy…too easy.

James:No more rental movies for you

Kate:U r paying for my dry cleaning after this

James: Who said that bitch!

Kate: Sega

(End of chapter 1)