So this is something I was originally going to keep on AO3, but decided for the most part, it'll be okay to upload here for the time being. This is a prompt fill for Xazz's 30 Day OTP Challenge, this being prompt #29: genderswap/trans headcanon. SO, with that in mind, you can pretty much see where this is going, right? But let me be clear now; if I start getting gross comments on this fic, I will be pulling it from the site if I can't delete them. You'll still be able to read it on Ao3, rest assured, but I won't tolerate those types of comments here.

BUT I'm sure we won't have a problem, and you'll all be able to enjoy this fic as intended, so without further ado...


Desmond feels appalled that he's never noticed her before. Really, he should have, considering their lockers have probably been somewhat next to each other since they started high school. But to give her some credit, she was someone who wasn't meant to be seen, someone who threw herself into the shadows and out on the edges. She was someone who didn't open her mouth, let herself blend in with the crowd and disappear in the mob.

Yet, here she was, dejectedly picking up textbooks, papers, and pencils off the floor after some assholes knocked them out of her arms and shoved her into some lockers. In response, Desmond had done the same back to them, "Lay off asswipes, get the fuck out of here!"

Desmond had only done it because he couldn't stand to see someone being so openly pushed around for no good reason (or any reason he could see outright). And after he sent those goons packing, he turned his attention back to her. Most kids had fled already, either to classes they desperately didn't want to be late to, or because they knew a fight was about to erupt and they didn't want to be near it.

Without saying anything, Desmond dropped to his knees to help her gather her things. He only spoke to her when he had gathered all that was left and helped her pack it away into her bag and such. "Are you okay?" Desmond finally asked. They looked at each other then. Desmond would never forget the experience of looking at her for the first time. A soft face with decisively high cheek bones, her hair dark and and falling well past her shoulders in messy, but wavy stretched out curls.

But her eyes. Framed by thick, black glasses, they were the bluest eyes Desmond ever had the pleasure of looking into. Essentially, she was absolutely breathtaking. He watched the hurt fade from her eyes and be replaced with panic and shock. She didn't say anything back to him, just shot back up to her feet and hurried off to class, leaving Desmond the floor to watch her go with wide eyes and a pounding heart.

Who was she?

x-X-X-x

Desmond couldn't get over her. He wasn't a believer in "love at first sight", but he would be lying if he said he wasn't interested in her. What was her name, what was her voice like, why had those boys pushed her around like that? Just, who the fuck was she? So he texted Clay in the middle of biology, he knew just about everyone in school, surely he would know.

'Bro, do you know a kid, long black hair, super blue eyes, wears a baggy sweatshirt?'

Clay got back to him minutes later, but somehow Desmond wasn't comforted by the answer, because he felt like something about it was completely off.

'Yeah dude, that's Alex Mercer. He's the smartest kid in our grade'

He?

x-X-X-x

"Are you sure?" Desmond asked Clay two class periods later. "Cause they're way too pretty to be a boy"

"I'm serious," Clay shrugged. "It's what it says in the school records and shit. Why do you care anyway?"

Desmond explained the day's events from earlier. And he told Clay how he may or may not be interested in seeing this Alex Mercer again.

"Don't do it bro," Clay warned him. "Sure, Mercer's smart and all, but he's like, one of the most disliked kids in our grade, maybe the school. Like he's all got going for him is his smarts, and that's really it. He doesn't talk to anyone, he has no friends, and even all the other super nerdy dudes resent him. I just wouldn't bother"

That only made Desmond more determined.

x-X-X-x

Desmond saw her again after school at the bike racks. Desmond had to bring his own bike today, his brother had his car. And he saw her there unchaining her bike. So he approached her, watched her freeze up as she did, only moving her head to look up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Hi, Alex," he said to her. "How ya doing?"

She just started at him like he had grown a second head.

"My name's Desmond," he told her. "I just wanted to say hi."

She kept staring at him, unmoving, unblinking. Desmond awkwardly rocks back and forth in his heels, until he finally says his goodbyes, not wanting to keep her any longer than need be.

"See you around, Alex" he said, and walked away to his own bike.

x-X-X-x

It seems like after that, Desmond notices her presence more and more. Before, she would just slightly enter his field of vision, then disappear, another face that wasn't important to memorize. But now Desmond is hyperaware of her existence. He wants to talk to her, so bad. He wants to look at her just as much. But she always keeps her head down, let her untamed lion's mane drape over her face.

Desmond wished he had some good reason to approach her other than just a lame "hey there". He agonized over it for a week, trying to devise some sort of reason or rhyme to go talk to her. It felt like middle school all over again, back when he first crushed on Lucy, and couldn't even confess to his own best friend that he liked her like that. Except that was Lucy and she knew him like the back of her hand, and he didn't have to go through a terrifying and awkward confession.

But he didn't know Alex. He didn't really know anything about her other than her name, and her style of dress, and her standing in school. But that didn't tell him anything about her. He wanted to know things like, what was her favorite movie, her favorite book, favorite food, music, pulp or no pulp, the works.

It got worse when his friends finally noticed that he was mooning over this girl hardcore. Rebecca would make comments about it, "Aw look you guys, he's thinking about her~". In which case, Desmond would blush and sputter while everyone else would elbow him playfully and ask if he's even talked to her yet, or ask when they get to meet her.

And even though he joined in on the jeers, Clay would give Desmond a knowing glance, because only Clay knew who they were all talking about. But he didn't just outright spill the beans, that was something for Desmond to say himself.

This continued on for another few weeks until Desmond finally, finally saw his chance, and took it.

x-X-X-x

Alex eats lunch alone in the corner where no one could bother her, and that is where Desmond found her. He just saw her there, and without even thinking, changed directions until he was plopping himself down at the table with her. Alex looked up at with those blue eyes widening in surprise. A guarded look immediately crossed her face, this was clearly something she hadn't been expecting.

"I wanted to say hi to you," Desmond blurted out. "And talk to you. For a few weeks now. So….Hi"

She blinked at him. Desmond suddenly felt very stupid for just running up to her like he did. But he knew if he left now, he'd so regret it. Hope pierced at his heart when he saw her jaw clench and unclench, and her mouth started to open and-

"Hi….Go the fuck away"

She spoke softly, but he still heard the rusty gruff in her voice.

"I just wanna talk to you" Desmond said.

"No," Alex said back. "Go away."

"But I've been wanting to talk to you!"

"Why?"

"Cause I like you"

"Go. Away. Now."

Desmond shot up from his seat and ran off.

x-X-X-x

"Clay I fucked up" Desmond whined at his friend later that day. "I just wanted to talk, and I fucked up"

"What'd you say, bro?"

"I like you"

"Bro. Bro no. Bro, you didn't it!"

"I diiid"

"Desmooond, you iiiidiot"

Desmond covered his face up and whined some more. He still felt the burn of shame, the terror of knowing he fucked up after wanting to do this for weeks. He didn't know what to do anymore. That's what he got for running into it headfirst without thinking. Now Mercer was never going to talk to him again. Probably hated him too.

"Clay tell me what to do" Desmond begged. "I still wanna know 'em. I still, still just wanna knoooow. I don't wanna give up."

"Then don't?" Clay suggested. "Look, just give it some time, and go bother Mercer later. And if he bites your head off again, then that's your own fault"

Desmond nodded, he would then. Even if he still felt wrong referring to Mercer the way Clay did.

x-X-X-x

Chance number two came one day in the school office. Desmond was running some papers to the front desk for a teacher, and was about to leave when he saw Alex walking in and heading into the nurses's office. So Desmond followed, trailing behind her so she wouldn't notice him. He waited until she had gone inside before entering, but found she wasn't there anymore. But he did hear the bathroom door in the office click close.

So he waited some more. The nurse asked him if he needed anything, and when he said no, she let him be, just don't stay too long. When Alex came out, they caught each other's eyes, and Alex huffed loudly and stormed out of the office with Desmond sprinting after her.

"Leave me alone" Alex snarled at him once they were out in the halls.

"I'm sorry about the other day," Desmond apologized. "I got nervous, and I fucked up. I really do just wanna talk to you, please?"

Alex shot him a glare over her shoulder. "Why do you even care? And don't say because you like me again, or else I will beat your face in."

"But I do," Desmond whined. "Okay I get it, because I do, I'm not entitled to bother you. But I've literally been thinking about you for weeks."

"Bullshit you have"

"I think you have the prettiest eyes"

Alex screeched to a halt and turned around to properly face him.

"What?"

"Your eyes. I've never seen eyes like yours before and I think they're beautiful."

Alex's mouth moved, but nothing came out, and her pale face suddenly flushed.

"And I think your face is pretty too," Desmond went on. "I just think you're lovely overall."

Alex's mouth clenched shut and she looked away from him, her face red as a beet. Desmond supposed she didn't get such honest compliments very often. He also supposed she didn't get to talk to anybody in general.

"Who's your favorite band?" Desmond suddenly asked. They were here, no interruptions, no one to see them or anything. Sure, they probably both needed to get back to class, but Desmond couldn't let her go that easily.

"I don't," Alex began, sucking in a breath of air before continuing. "I don't…listen to a lot of music…"

"Okay," Desmond said. "Food?"

"…No preference."

"Movie?"

"Tangled."

There was a pause.

"I have a little sister, okay? She's obsessed with Disney." Alex explained hotly.

"No, it's cool," Desmond reassured. "Personally I prefer The Little Mermaid…Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you want me to call you?"

"C-call me?"

"Yeah, what do you personally prefer?"

They fell into a long silence. Alex was staring down at the ground, jaw clenched tight again. Desmond rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited. He could stand there all day for an answer, he didn't care. He just wanted to know. Didn't matter he was missing class and his teacher was probably wondering where the fuck he was, he wasn't leaving until he knew. Eventually Alex looked up at him, and he saw that look again in her eyes, panic, and shocked replaced with fear.

He just nodded at her and held her gaze. They continued to stand there in utter silence until Alex finally found her voice.

"Sh-…She a-and h-her…please…"

"Okay," Desmond grinned. "And I'm just regular old…He and him I guess? Yeah."

Alex nodded back. "I-I gotta go," she said.

"I'll see you later then?" Desmond asked. Alex nodded again, and they parted. Desmond walked back to class like he was on cloud nine. He text Clay along the way.

'I talked to her again. We're cool. C: '

'…Her?'

x-X-X-x

In response, Alex finally starts noticing him. She'll say hi to him at their lockers if Desmond doesn't say hello to her first. If they pass each other in the halls, Desmond will smile at her, or make some weird face at her. No matter what he does, she'll smile back, or look away out of embarrassment. Every other day, Desmond will abandon his friends to sit with Alex at lunch. He hasn't offered her the chance to eat lunch at his table yet, mostly because he fears she'll be overwhelmed by everyone. And while his friends are pretty liberal and chill, Desmond's not entirely sure on how he wants to introduce them to Alex without freaking the latter out.

And that is phase one of their friendship.

Phase two commences a month after. Phase two starts with Desmond walking Alex to the bike racks, and staying with her long enough for her to unchain her bike and watch her race off. Alex is responsible for her little sister after school, so she rushes to the local elementary school to get her. Desmond already knows he's going to miss this once track starts up and he'll be at school until the early evening. So he enjoys their short time together after school.

Alex is an intellect, an academic, a debater. Too many times to count, when they have each other's company for too long, they'll get into a long winded discussion on something. The discussions usually turn out the same, Desmond is an ignorant fuck and Alex is clearly the superior thinker. Desmond accepts he's no where near as smart as Alex, but he loves watching her get worked up about something, loves watching how animated she gets, the way she talks with her hands, and she looks serious. And he loves the satisfied smirk she gets when she trounces him after a rousing talk.

Desmond could honestly listen to her all day.

He tells her that one time, says to her how much he loves her voice and loves how passionate she gets, and really it's no wonder she has the best grades of their class as a whole. And then it's his turn to smirk as Alex gets flustered, and constantly complimenting her is not going to score him any points on the scale of her being right versus him being right.

Yeah, sure it doesn't.

x-X-X-x

One day the clouds gather and the skies darken. The cloud becomes heavier and grayer with each passing hour, until finally in the early morning, the rain is finally set loose. And it pours, all day long. The sound of rain hitting the rooftop is ever present. And it's still there even after school ends, and kids are racing to cars and buses, any sort of shelter they can find. Desmond doesn't understand how Alex could have possibly biked to school on a day like this, but he certainly isn't going to let her bike home with giant puddles flooding the streets.

"Do you want a ride?" Desmond asks her as they hover around the bike racks. "You can put your bike in my truck bed."

"My sister" Alex says.

"We can get her too. Come on, just for today, let me help you out, Alex."

Alex looks out at the sidewalks and roads, bites at her lips, and then finally agrees. She unchains her bike, and wheels it out of the bikes section and they cross the parking lot to student parking. Desmond hefts her bike up into his truck once they find it, and they both scurry inside to get avoid getting any more wet than they already were.

It's a frustrating drive through town, all the cars on the road backed up or creeping slowly along through puddles. But they make it through anyway, and Desmond balks at the school they eventually pull up to.

"Holy shit," Desmond gasped. "This was my elementary school when I was a kid. That's wild. Do you two live around here?"

"Sorta," Alex replied. "Close enough it's not out of the way when I take her to school every day,"

"You didn't go here too, did you?"

"I didn't live here in town for elementary school."

Alex left it at that. Desmond pulls into the driveway and parks. Alex hops out of the truck, slams the door, and hurries into the daycare center to retriever her little sister. Minutes later, she returns with little Dana Mercer who she hustles into the backseat with their backpacks.

Dana's the cutest thing Desmond has ever seen. She still has that round baby face, full lips, rusted brown hair in twin pigtails on either side of her head. But her eyes. Those blue, blue eyes are a family trait it seems. And she turns those sparkling eyes on him with wonder and curiosity.

"Hi Dana," Desmond smiles at her. "I'm Desmond. I'm your sister's friend."

"Hi Desmond!" Dana chirps back at him in that squeaky, five year old chipmunk voice. Desmond can feel his everything melting in all the right place, goddammit she is too cute. Alex doesn't say much, just tells Dana to buckle up in that authoritative, parent voice Desmond has heard his own brothers try on him numerous times.

Dana responds with a quick yet cheery, "Okay, Allie!" and does so. As they drive around to the Mercer household, Dana immediately launches into an epic retelling of her day, mostly because today was so exciting with all the rain, and they had recess inside and got to play board games and with LEGOs. They even had lunch in their classrooms, and since today was a P.E day for some classes, they had it in the cafeteria, and that was fun cause they played broom ball and it was just the best. Day. Ever.

Desmond is almost reluctant to let her go once they arrive at the Mercer household. It's still pouring rain once they arrive. Alex sends Dana to the door with the key, and Desmond gets the bike out the back so Alex can wheel it inside. Desmond gets as far as the front door, standing there without really going inside.

"Thanks for the ride" Alex says to him as she props the bike up by the door, ready to go for tomorrow. "I…I appreciate it"

"What are friends for?" Desmond grins. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you then."

"Byyye Desmond!" Dana calls from inside the house, and he can see her waving at him from over Alex's shoulder.

"Bye Dana, nice meeting you!" Desmond calls back. He gives Alex on more smile before he hurries back to his truck.