Now
(Six weeks to go)
Carmilla woke slowly and pulled Laura's warm body closer. "Six weeks," she thought, "how the fuck am I going to live without you for six weeks?" She kissed her shoulder and then moved the hair from her neck so she could kiss just below her ear. She leaned back and gently pulled Laura to her back. "It's only six weeks," she chided herself, "really not that long."
But it was a long time; she knew from personal experience how much could change in six weeks. She smiled; six weeks ago Laura lie bleeding in her arms, her life quite literally in her hands, but with no idea if she felt the same as she did. And now? Now she had no reason to believe that Laura wasn't as in love with her as she was with her. She smiled and ran her fingers across her forehead, along her jaw to her lips. She leaned in and kissed her softly, Laura slowly responding as she woke.
"What time is it?" Laura asked sleepily as they parted.
Carmilla glanced at the clock and groaned; "It's almost ten."
"Damn," Laura sighed and studied her. "You okay?"
"Would you believe me if I said yes?" she asked.
"Probably not," Laura replied and pushed Carmilla to her back. "It's going to be okay," she assured her.
"Yeah?" she countered uncertainly.
"I'm not going anywhere," Laura smiled, "Well, I'm going home to wait for you but…"
Carmilla interrupted her with a kiss.
"I know you're scared," Laura continued as she kissed along her jaw, "I am too," she admitted and pulled back to meet her eyes. "You know something that has always amazed me about Vancouver?" Laura asked, causing Carmilla to smile: she had an idea where Laura was going with this, as she'd heard it before, but she liked the analogy anyway. "It's amazing how, whenever it rains, the mountains completely disappear behind the clouds," she kissed her softly. "That's us, we're the mountains," she kissed her again, "even when you can't see us for the clouds you know we'll still be here, as strong and enduring as ever, when the sky clears."
Carmilla reversed their positions as she kissed her softly.
"You know you've used that one before?" she teased.
"I have?"
"Yup, on the way back from the cabin the first time," she reminded her.
"Why didn't you stop me then?"
"Because it's a beautiful analogy," she supplied and sighed. "I'll always be afraid of losing you," she confided and fought back tears. "I've already almost lost you once." Laura reached up and wiped away a tear. "So much can happen in six weeks," she swallowed as she found the nerve to admit her worst fear, "who's to say your feelings won't change? If Deanna…"
"Stop," Laura said forcefully as she rolled Carmilla to her back, laced their fingers and then held her hands over her head as she covered her body with her own. "I love you Carmilla Karnstein," she stated and kissed her deeply. "More than I thought I could ever love anyone or anything," she kissed her again as she slipped her leg between Carmilla's and pushed herself into her hip. "I don't want you to go, you know that I don't, but not because I'm afraid of losing you, I mean, I am, I always will be, but because you're such a big part of my life that I feel like you're taking a piece of me with you."
"Then we'll be okay," Carmilla said with a smile, "since I feel like I'm leaving a piece of me behind."
"I know a lot can change in six weeks, I mean, look at us," Laura said with a chuckle. "But how I feel? That's never going to change." She kissed her again as she let Carmilla's hands go so she could run her hands along her face. "It's only six weeks."
"Forty-two days," Carmilla countered.
"One thousand and eight hours," Laura continued with a smile, "or somewhere thereabouts."
Carmilla swapped their positions again.
"You know," she started thoughtfully, "some people would say that if our relationship can't survive six weeks apart, maybe we shouldn't be together."
"Then those people should shut up," Laura replied lightly, "but, maybe, it'll be good for us?"
"Maybe," she smiled crookedly as the alarm went off, "I need to get up and get ready. Take a shower with me?" Laura nodded. "God I'm going to miss you."
They took their time in the shower, washing each other amid kisses and sighs. Carmilla had gotten so used to showering with Laura any time she didn't it was starting to feel lonely. They didn't talk much once Laura convinced her to eat something, reminding her that there was a good chance she'd be doing something physical once she got to the gym. With just a half hour left to go the two settled on the couch to cuddle until it was time only to be disturbed by a knock on the door.
"But it's too soon," Laura lamented as Carmilla went to answer the door to find her best friend, Dark, and their new good friend, Danny, waiting.
"Hey," Dark said as he gave her a big hug, "I know you guys probably want to spend every last minute you can together alone but," he leaned back to meet her eyes, "Laura's not the only one who's going to miss you."
"No," she chuckled as she gave Danny a quick hug, "I'm glad you guys are here."
"Really?" Danny laughed. "Even me?"
"Surprisingly," Carmilla said seriously then grinned as she added, "yes." She returned to the couch and Laura's arms. "I'm happy Laura will have someone to keep her company on the way back to Vancouver."
"Yeah, and what about you, hmm?" Laura questioned and kissed the top of her head. "I think, once they announce the tournament bracket, it would be a good idea to befriend someone you probably won't have to fight."
"That seems an arbitrary reason to choose someone as a friend," Carmilla joked.
"Easier than having to fight said friend," Danny countered.
"True," Carmilla sighed. "I don't know, I might just stick to myself," she shrugged, "or play it by ear, we'll see."
"Babe?" Laura said and nudged her to sit up. "Don't isolate yourself in there. I know you're used to depending on only yourself but haven't you learned, yet, that you don't have to?"
"I'm starting to," she replied with a smile and a soft kiss. "But it's not like I'll be able to tell anyone what's really bothering me."
"Yes, and what's that midget?" Dark asked.
"Deanna," she stated.
"Look," he said and went to sit in front of her, taking her hands he continued; "if it makes you feel any better we've all agreed to not leave the gym, unless we have to, until you get back."
"That's not…" she started.
"Necessary?" Danny supplied.
"Will it make you worry less to know we're doing everything we can to stay safe?" Laura asked.
"I guess," she sighed, "but it doesn't seem fair that you're all putting your lives on hold for my peace of mind."
"All our lives are already on hold, Carm, you know that," Dark offered gently. "What's six weeks of isolation if we can finally be rid of her?"
"I don't see what…"
"If you can focus more, you'll do better and people will be more invested in your story," Laura explained.
"I suppose," Carmilla replied and laid back into her arms.
"Besides," Laura continued, "I have two crazy kittens to keep me occupied and a book to ghost write; don't worry, I'll hardly notice I haven't left the gym."
Carmilla couldn't help but smile at the mention of their two rambunctious Bengals, Trill and Luna. They'd considered keeping the names her Uncle had given them; Lucky for the black one and Monkey for the beautiful leopard spotted kitten, but after getting to know them, they decided on new names. Luna had really taken to Laura and so she named her after one of her favorite Harry Potter characters because, as she'd explained, just like Luna Lovegood, the kitten Luna, was really smart, a little crazy and just wanted to be friends with everyone. Dark had also pointed out that Luna could be short for lunatic, which also applied. As for the little black kitten? He'd taken to Carmilla; following her around and even climbing her like a tree if she wasn't paying him enough attention. She'd named him Trill as he was a real talker. She'd found him, on more than one occasion, staring out the window chirping at the birds. At night the two felines showed their preferences as well; Luna curling up on Laura, Trill on Carmilla, the minute they settled in to go to sleep. They'd tried locking them out of the bedroom at night, but discovered very quickly that was a bad idea. Being that the bedroom was soundproof they had no idea the havoc the two had created while they slept. After picking up the paper towel the two had gotten off the counter and spread around the apartment, they spent the rest of the day doing their best to kitten-proof.
Another knock at the door drew her from her thoughts as she looked at her watch; it was time to say goodbye. "I'll get the door," Dark offered with a pointed look to Danny who, taking the hint, followed him to the door and out into the hallway.
"I have something to give you before you go," Laura said quickly and rummaged through her stuff for a nicely wrapped gift.
"You've got five minutes!" Dark called, prompting her to tear the wrapping paper off.
She smiled at what she found inside; a dark green leather bound journal, the same Celtic knot they'd had tattooed on their wrists embossed on the cover, along with a whole box of decent pens.
"I got one for myself too," Laura explained as she motioned her towards the door, "I thought, you know, when we're looking at the moon each night, that we could write to each other?"
"I love it," she said fondly and pulled her into her arms, "won't make me miss you any less, mind."
Laura pulled her into a deep kiss, the two so lost in it that neither noticed the other was crying.
"Miss Karnstein?" an unfamiliar voice called; "We really need to be going."
"Be right there," she called back once they'd broken the kiss. They both wiped the tears from each other's faces as they leaned their foreheads together. "We'll be okay."
"Better than," Laura affirmed and kissed her one last time. "Now," she said firmly as she took her hand and led her to the door, "no more crying," she ordered.
"Same for you," Carmilla teased.
"I'm not the one who's probably going to be filmed later," Laura reasoned as she opened the door and looked to the man who had come to pick up Carmilla. "Can we walk her to the car?"
"I suppose," he shrugged, "as long as we go now."
Dark and Danny grabbed her bags and followed the three of them out. Carmilla hugged Dark and Danny first before pulling Laura into her arms. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," Laura replied and kissed her softly. "Now go on," she prodded, "go kick some ass."
"I'll do my best," she replied with a smile. "Be careful? All of you? Watch each other's backs?"
"We'll be fine," Danny assured her as she placed a hand on Laura's shoulder; "and you're going to be awesome."
Laura kissed her, lingering until she heard the driver clear his throat.
"You have to go," Laura sighed. "See you in six weeks?"
"Forty-two days," Carmilla continued.
"I'll be counting all one thousand and eight hours until you're back in my arms," Laura said, her voice showing the strain of holding back her tears. "Go, before I don't let you."
Carmilla chuckled and kissed her one last time before turning and getting into the SUV behind her before she lost the will to leave. She climbed into the back seat, did up her seatbelt and then pulled her knees to her chest in an attempt to stem the threatening tears.
"Been together long?" the driver asked conversationally as he pulled away.
"Six weeks today," she replied quietly and turned to watch Laura and her friend's shrinking forms. Just as they were about to turn the corner she saw Laura crumble into Danny's arms. "Seems longer," she amended as she buried her face into her knees and cried.
The driver left her to her misery for a little while before speaking again; "Um, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but we are shooting today."
"Right," she sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. "Will I have time to go to the bathroom? Splash some water on my face?"
"You should," he replied and pulled into the gym's parking lot. He turned off the car and turned in his seat to meet her eyes. "It's only six weeks," he offered.
"Yeah," she sighed as she tried to gather herself, "a lot can happen in six weeks, though."
Then
(Six Weeks Ago)
Laura woke alone to the bright lights of the hospital. As her head cleared from the anesthetic she realised where she was and remembered what had happened. She groaned; everything hurt. She looked to the cast on her arm; "Damn it," she thought, "there goes the Ultimate Fighter."
She laid her head back on the pillow and sighed. It was probably for the best, she'd still hadn't figured out how to tell Carmilla the truth, and if she'd been accepted, the least she'd had to have explain was how old she really was. "Shit," she muttered hoarsely as bits and pieces of the day came back to her; "I told her."
She was drawn from her musings when the door opened to admit a lab coat wearing older gentleman.
"Good to see you're awake, Miss Hollis," he greeted as he went to check her vitals. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been beaten with a very large bat," she croaked out, her throat hurting from having a tube down it during surgery. "Water?" she requested.
He nodded and poured her a glass from a nearby jug. She swallowed down a few mouthfuls and then looked to the doctor to find him studying her.
"Where's Carm?" she asked; she'd been surprised to wake alone.
"She'll be waking up soon," he replied and looked to her chart.
"Waking up?" she asked in concern. "Is she okay?"
"You can drop the act, Miss Hollis, I know who you are," he stated flatly and looked up from her chart.
"I'm sorry?" she asked, feigning confusion.
"My son was one of the EMTs that responded to the lake," he supplied as he continued to regard her, his distrust obvious. "He called me, I called Dark, Dark called Frank and Frank called me."
"So you know," she sighed and shook her head. "You didn't answer my question; is Carm okay?"
"She's fine," he replied, his tone softening slightly as he asked; "Wait, you actually care about her, don't you?"
"I do," she admitted and looked down at her cast, "even before she saved my life."
"Yes," he replied wearily, "she did at that."
She looked up to meet his eyes and noticed how tired he seemed.
"Why is she just waking up?" she asked.
"She's borderline hyperglycemic," he replied, "but I'm sure you already know that."
"Still doesn't explain why," she looked around for a clock. "Wait, how long was I in surgery?"
"Just over four hours," he answered to her shock. "You saw what she was like when Dark got hurt?"
"Not directly, but I heard about it," she replied.
"Dark told me how much she cares about you," he said quietly, "Given the basket case she was when he got hurt, I thought it prudent to keep her asleep until you woke up."
"But she has a fight in two weeks," she reminded him.
"I am aware," he said tiredly, "and that, aside from who you are, is why Frank called me," he smiled and shook his head. "She was given a mild dose of Ativan at the lake and then kept on Gravol until you came out of surgery. She'll be on pure saline now and should be clean by the time she fights."
"Ativan isn't restricted," Laura pointed out and looked down to her cast again. "Why was the surgery so long?" She looked up. "I know it was a bad break but it wasn't that bad."
He rubbed his face and then perched himself on the edge of her bed.
"It wasn't just a 'bad break'," he started. "If Carmilla wasn't such a skilled First Aid Attendant you'd have never made it to the ambulance in time, let alone the hospital." He stood again, took an x-ray from the chart and held it up to the light. "You cleanly broke your Radius and fractured your Ulna," he sighed and met her eyes again. "You severed one of the two main arteries in your arm; if Carmilla hadn't applied a pressure point as quickly as she did," he shook his head again. "We managed to repair that one while we waited for your x-rays however what we didn't realize that the other major artery in your arm was trapped by the broken bone itself. When we reset it…"
"I almost bled out," Laura interjected quietly and looked to him. "How long?"
"I'm sorry?" he asked.
"How long was I dead?" she supplied.
"Less than a minute," he said as he paled. "How did you know?"
"Because it was the second time today," she provided. "I don't know what happened at the lake but I remember a really bright light and a weight on my chest," she smiled as tears welled in her eyes. "I woke to hear Carmilla saying that she'd failed to keep me safe."
"That's ironic," he said with a small smile. "Why did you run after her anyway?"
"We're being followed," she confided, "from what we know so far it's me he's following and he's very dangerous. I saw his car pull up just as we headed into the woods. I don't know the area very well and I guess, the longer I stood there waiting for her to come back, the more worried I got that he'd found a way to get ahead of us and hurt her," she laughed. "I know, don't say it, ironic."
"Will you tell her?"
"That I died twice today?" she questioned.
"No, that you've been watching over her and helping her and her brother all this time?" he corrected.
"I can't," she sighed. "If she takes it badly and never wants to see me again," she shrugged, "what good am I to her then?" she said sadly. "I never," she sniffed. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be her friend, help her achieve her goal and keep her safe," she sighed. "She's so close, I can't, won't be the one to mess it up for her."
"You know the longer you wait the worse it'll be when she finds out," he prodded.
"Or maybe," she countered quietly, "she'll forgive my lies when she realizes all we've done to protect her." She met his eyes. "Doctor, please don't tell her that I died on the table."
"She's a smart girl," he said fondly, "she'll figure it out."
"I know," she sighed. "Tell her, if she asks, that I almost bled out, but not that I died. She doesn't need to know the rest."
"You have a flair for understatement, Miss Hollis, as there's quite a lot she doesn't know about you," he said seriously; it was clear to Laura she wasn't the only one in the room who cared for Carmilla. "Look," he smiled, "I'll do what I can to keep your secrets, namely," he showed her her chart and the fact that her birthdate had been altered, "your charts. There is another official copy but this way your wristband and all the labels have the corrected date. I think it best, however, if we get the two of you home tonight as, the longer we try to hide the truth, the more chance she'll find out. Yes?"
"Yes, and thank you Doctor Coughlin," she answered gratefully.
"You needn't thank me," he replied as he made for the door, "I have my own reasons for wanting to help Carmilla," he admitted. "Things I should have done years ago that would have made your role unnecessary."
"But then I wouldn't met the love of my life," she countered. "And I do love her, Doctor," she smiled, "and I'll do whatever I have to, even if she never forgives me, to make sure she gets the justice she deserves." He smiled and nodded. "Will you test me for the parasite?"
"The test is already ordered," he replied. "Now get some rest, I'm going to go talk her and she'll be in a bit."
"Did you call my father?" she asked before he could get out the door.
"I did," he replied with a frown, "he told me to tell you 'he wasn't anywhere near you, you twit'," he shrugged. "I take it that means he was there too?"
"He was and must have seen Carmilla had everything in hand," she blushed, "or he'd have rushed in whether he should have been there or not," she shook her head. "He's a little over-protective."
"Given your career choice and your hobby?" he teased. "Can't say that I blame him."
"Yeah well, if he didn't want me to be a fighter he never should have signed me up for Krav Maga at age eight," she joked.
"I don't know, Miss Hollis, I suspect you'd have been a fighter with or without extensive Martial Arts training," he laughed.
"Just how much did Frank tell you?"
"I was worried," he confided, "and he sent me you and your father's resumes to reassure me that you are both more than capable of protecting her once things start to escalate."
"It's already started to," she told him and watched him pale again. "We have no way to prove it, yet, but we think she's paying and aiding the man who's following me."
"So why hasn't he been arrested already?"
"We're still trying to get proof," she supplied defensively. "It's a complicated game we're playing Doctor and Deanna can't find out until it's far too late for her to do anything about it."
"I'll do what I can to help," he offered again.
"Thanks," she sighed and laid her head back on the pillow again as he left.
"How did this ever get so complicated?" she wondered. "When you fell in love with your 'assignment'," she answered herself. Her self-chastising was cut short though as the many drugs in her system caused her to nod off until she was gently shaken awake by a lab technician a short time later.
She was watching him take a third vial of blood when she heard the door open, turning when she heard a soft; "Hey."
"Hey," Laura replied and smiled.
"Can you hold this for her?" the lab technician asked. Carmilla nodded and went to hold the gauze on Laura's right arm. "Thanks, the doctor will be in a few minutes."
"Thanks," Carmilla and Laura replied together.
Laura studied Carmilla as she watched the lab technician leave; she was moving very slowly and obviously trying to hide how much pain she was in.
"You okay?" Laura asked.
"Me?" Carmilla laughed as she took Laura's hand with her free hand; "Have you seen you?"
"I'm not the one with the fight of a lifetime in a couple of weeks," Laura replied seriously; "I'd never forgive myself if..."
"Stop," Carmilla interrupted; "I'll be okay and so will you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Carmilla replied with a smile; "Laura," she sighed and Laura held her breath while she waited for her to continue. "I think," she looked down a moment and then up again; "I think we should stop pretending."
"I knew I was pushing it," Laura said sadly and tried to take her hand away.
"Laura, no," Carmilla rushed and held her hand all the tighter; "I mean," she shook her head and smiled; "I know I come with a lot of baggage but," she took a deep breath; "I don't want you to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore cause I want you to be my girlfriend," she said in a rush; "For real," she added.
Laura could hardly believe her ears; it was she wanted, yes, but it made everything so much more complicated.
"Carm?" Laura said softly and waited for her to meet her eyes; "I stopped pretending a while ago."
"Yeah?" Carmilla asked, smiling when Laura nodded. "Me too." Laura tried to pull her closer; "Oh baby I've wanted to kiss you again ever since the airport," she smiled as Laura felt her cheeks redden along with Carmilla's; "But if I kiss you now I won't want to stop and we're bound to be interrupted, again," she leaned forward and kissed her forehead instead; "and I probably taste like an ashtray cause I just had my first smoke in over a year," she admitted as she pulled away.
"I don't care," Laura countered.
"Well I do," she smiled and kissed her cheek; "I've waited this long to really kiss you," she whispered into her ear; "I can wait a little longer to make sure it's perfect."
"Carm?" Laura said softly; "You know the thing about baggage?"
"What's that?" Carmilla asked as she ran her fingers along Laura's cheek.
"It gets lighter the more people you let help carry it," she replied seriously and hoped that when Carmilla found out just how long she'd been sharing the load, that she'd forgive all the lies she knew she'd have to continue to tell.
A/N: So? Surprised? I hope so. I'll be following the same format; 'Now' will be Carm's point of view and 'Then' will be Laura's although they won't always be in the same order but I'll try my best to keep the confusion to a minimum. We will, eventually, see Laura's point of view in the present but that doesn't happen for a quite a while.
