Chapter One
Bella
I was tired and that was never a good sign, when I was tired I got weepy or angry and either would upset Kat, she was very sensitive. Christmas was just around the corner and I wished I was looking forward to it but money was tight and I only had Christmas day off. That meant Kat being sent to day care Christmas Eve and she'd be asleep when I picked her up, still at least it would give me time to prepare Christmas dinner, not that it would be anything very special, Kat had very specific likes and dislikes when it came to food. What I really wished for was a normal family Christmas like everyone else, a huge brightly lit Christmas tree, lots of decorations, Christmas songs and the smell of dinner cooking. Lot's of brightly coloured gifts under the tree but most of all a family. We sat and watched the Christmas movies on TV with families all gathered together, snow on the ground, and huge log fires.
Looking round my little home I sighed, the box of Christmas decorations I'd salvaged from the house sat on the table waiting for me to drum up the enthusiasm to put them up while in a corner looking sad and forlorn was the Christmas tree, it was small and not very awe inspiring but a few lights and some tinsel plus the fairy that Kat and I made together would make it come to life. My biggest problem was the bills, health bills, utility bills, food bills, they just never stopped coming which was why I couldn't tell my boss where to shove his poorly paid job. Putting it simply I needed the money.
When the phone rang it made me jump and I grabbed it before it could wake Kat who was mercifully asleep in her room.
"Bella?"
"Mum"
Why she always sounded so surprised when I picked up my phone I didn't know but it was the same every time.
"Hows Katherine?"
"OK, she's asleep at the moment"
"Oh right. I thought I should tell you that Jessie and I will be away for Christmas so don't bother ringing. His sister has invited us to her place in Key West, it's rumoured to be really something. Its just a shame she's not as free with her money as her invitations, still it saves me having to cook for the family"
Now that was funny, I couldn't remember the last time Renee had cooked a family Christmas dinner if ever. She always arranged to be somewhere else so someone else had all the bother.
"You're working aren't you?"
"Yes. I have Christmas day off though".
"Are you doing anything special?"
"No I don't think so, we'll be here if you want to ring"
"Well its not so easy when you are a guest in someone else's home Bella but I will try. I don't want to spoil things, don't forget its only been a year since Jessie and I met."
Oh I remembered it vividly. Phil had finally cracked under the pressure of living with Renee and left and only a month later she had a new beau as she insisted on calling Jessie. His family were affluent which suited her although what he saw in my scatterbrained mother I had no idea. We met just the once but he wasn't at all interested in the daughter or grand daughter and made it pretty obvious but of course Renee couldn't see it,
"He's just nervous around children especially...well you understand Bella"
I did but that didn't make it any easier and we had never met again. I cried off the wedding three months ago because Kat had a chest infection and I think that upset Jessies' mother more than anyone. I was tired of bothering about other people thought so I stopped ringing Renee and she only rang when she felt she ought to. She hated the idea of being a grandmother and found it easier to pretend Kat didn't exist most of the time.
It was times like this I missed my dad, I knew Charlie would have been over the moon with Kat but he never saw her, he died before she was born, a victim of a drugged up arsonist who set fire to the house as retribution for a short prison sentence he'd served care of my dad. Charlie was asleep in the house and overcome by smoke. The druggie died a couple of days later in a drive by shooting in Seattle so that was the end of that. I salvaged a few bits from the partially destroyed house only to find it was mortgaged to the hilt in order for him to pay child support for me as I grew up and not insured so I was left with no dad and only the few hundred dollars he had in his savings account. His pension should have come to me but as he still owed on his car and the house most of it went in debt repayments not that I wanted it but under the circumstances it would have been a welcome relief.
Anyway there was no point in crying over it now, I'd done enough of that at the time and it just exhausted me more. I checked on Kat and she was sleeping peacefully so I put up the decorations and stood the tree in place ready for her to help me trim then opened a bag of popcorn which had been on special in the store ready to thread for the tree although I thought a lot would end up on the floor. I turned the radio on to listen to some Christmas music but it was nearly all adverts for the latest toys and games, a hard sell for the few remaining days until the shops closed getting ready for the post Christmas sales, no doubt Easter Eggs would replace the tinsel and selection boxes! I could hardly wait!
As I finished dusting I heard movement in her room and went through to get my girl,
"Hi there sleepy head, did you have nice dreams?"
She nodded smiling at me and held out her arms for me to pick her up.
"Oh, you're so heavy. No more chocolate or candy for you little one."
As her face screwed up I smiled and she realised I was joking and giggled. She was so beautiful when she laughed, her nose wrinkled and her brown eyes shone.
"Santa?"
"Not yet, he's making toys at the North Pole and watching to see all the boys and girls are being good for their mummies and daddies."
She giggled again as we played aeroplanes into the living room then her eyes went wide at the streamers and few balloons I'd put up for her but her greatest delight was seeing the tree waiting with the box of decorations. I put her down at the side of the box and she opened the lid very carefully as if it contained the treasure of the ages then took out the string of twinkle lights I remembered from the few times I'd spent Christmas with Charlie. They were still going strong and wrapped as he always did when the tree came down. The tissue paper smelled faintly of smoke and I felt my throat contract, holding back a sob. I had hoped the smell might have faded but it was still there yet I couldn't bring myself to throw the paper away so I tortured myself instead, using and reusing it. After I wrapped the tree with the lights she handed me the baubles one by one pointing where she wanted them to go after studying each one carefully. The tinsel, silver and gold finished the box off and then she handed me popcorn to string, one piece going in her mouth for every three or four I got. There was just enough to fill the string which I draped around the top of the tree like a cobbled path for the fairy then I went to the switch.
"Ready?"
She nodded, her eyes wide with excitement and I turned the lights on with a sigh of relief when they lit, I was always afraid that even though they worked when I put them away they wouldn't when I got them out again. Kat clapped her hands and squealed in delight which made everything worthwhile.
