A/N: This is just a fluff piece featuring the Tenth Doctor and Rose. Alternate ending to the goodbye scene at Bad Wolf Bay, and the dialouge in the beginning is taken from the episode. I'm not too happy with the overall effect, but I felt the dialogue was pretty in character. Wrote this for the fun of it, nothing more. Posting it because, why not? The science behind this isn't particularly sound, but I was more focusing on the Doctor and Rose relationship. The M rating is for language. Reviews are appreciated.
GOODBYE
The air was way too salty. It was sunset and waves broke peacefully along the bay. Not completely breathtaking, but there was a simple beauty in the scene. The wind was steady and cold, but she didn't particularly notice. The blonde girl on the beach. She didn't notice, or care for that matter about any of it, because she knew that she had come to that very beach to die.
She would die, because humans can't live in pieces. They try, they exist, but really, what use was there? She'd die on that beach, sure enough. Because how could she live when half of her was stuck in another dimension? Didn't work like that. Damn fucking universe and its stupid rules. Of course it would choose to end if she got what she wanted. Existence, time, reality, normally she'd not have to worry about her life having any sort of affect on any of those things. Now, she had to give up everything because having everything was impossible.
And it really, really sucked.
Rose waited, as she would always wait if she had to, because he had called her there. Even now, he said her name and she came running. She only wished she could run far enough, but this was where her legs could take her. Her family waited by the car, but she was alone.
Then, he was there. The Doctor. Standing on the sand, exactly as she remembered. As Rose walked closer, she saw the difference. He wasn't as she remembered after all. The cocky grin and mischievous spark in his eyes were gone. Yes, he still looked too perfect and his hair was still too pretty and he was still too…blurry?
"Where are you?" She asked, because she could see him, but he wasn't there.
"The TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection; I'm in orbit around a super nova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye." He would have done a lot more if it meant he didn't have to, but he smiled anyway.
"You look like a ghost."
"Hold on." The Doctor used the Sonic to adjust the signal, and his image became clear and solid. For all her eyes were telling her, he was standing right in front of her.
Rose closed the distance and lifted her hand, "Can I…?"
"I'm still just an image. No touch."
"Can't you come through properly?" Rose almost felt cheated, what good was there in seeing him if he couldn't hold her hand?
"The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse." Of course they would. And even though the Doctor had accepted long ago that the Universe demanded that he remain alone, it still broke his heart.
"So…" Rose stopped, trying to keep from crying just a little longer.
"Where are we? Where did the gap come out?" He asked, because he was always curious and he needed a distraction and asking about the weather wouldn't exactly work.
"We're in Norway." Rose replied.
"Norway…right." He nodded.
"About fifty miles out of Bergen, it's called Dårlig Ulv-Stranden."
"Dalek?"
"Dårlig" She clarified. "It's Norwegian for bad. This translates to Bad Wolf Bay." She rolled her eyes, appreciating the irony and he laughed. Then, it hit her in another wave and she fought for control of her voice. "How long've you got?"
"About two minutes."
She laughed again, because it was that or sobbing. "I can't think of what to say." So she told him about her mother's new baby. That she was working for Torchwood. And the Doctor smiled, finding the whole thing painfully wonderful. Rose Tyler, defender of earth. He was proud, but it hurt more than anything else. He kept the tone light, admiring her for having the one adventure he never could. The one adventure she did not want because it meant she'd be alone.
"Am I ever gonna see you again?" Her voice broke and she wiped a hand over her eyes.
"You can't."
"But what are you gonna do?" She asked, her heart splitting and her world falling apart. How could he stand there as if this was easy? How could he still smile? She had always wanted a quick death, but instead she had to endure slow torment first.
"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life, last of the Time Lords." He continued to smile. For Rose's sake, he wouldn't cry.
"On your own?" Crying was getting harder to fight and when he nodded, she realized that it hurt more than him leaving. She'd be okay, she'd exist, but he'd be alone and that was the worst part. "I..." She took a breath. "I love you."
"Quite right to." He smiled, but then he knew that she deserved a bit more. "And I suppose…" He wasn't supposed to, he was breaking every rule, but he'd never see her again. "This is my last chance to say it…" He rambled and he felt her gaze more acutely than the pain in his chest. "Rose Tyler—"
His image faded, he was about to be ripped away from her and she was about to die. And he hadn't finished. Rose reached for him, putting her arms around the last of his image and closed her eyes.
The air was too salty and then, it wasn't. Her head smacked something solid and she opened her eyes.
"How did…?"
Rose took a breath. She knew that air, artificial, she was in the TARDIS. That's what every sense told her, but her brain refused to acknowledge the fact.
"How did…?"
She looked at the solid object she had smashed into, the Doctor blinking down at her in wide-eyed confusion. He opened and closed his mouth but only two words came out.
"How did…?"
Rose forgot to be happy, as did the Doctor. She looked at her hands. They appeared corporeal.
"What?" He looked her up and down, but no matter how he stared she didn't vanish. "What?" He repeated, running a hand down the back of his head. "What?"
Rose shrugged, barely paying attention to what he was doing. She ran her hands down her sides, to further prove to herself this wasn't a trick, and her hand bumped something hard. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a yellow disk.
"Doctor…" She lifted it up and he looked at the object.
"No…" He took it. "No." He turned it over in his hands. "Impossible..." He looked up at Rose, who waited for him to explain what he was thinking. "But that would mean…" He ran a hand over his hair and looked at the monitor next to him. "Oh, but it was still open." He laughed and then frowned quickly. "But wait a minute." He ran the Sonic over the device and then checked the monitor again. "Aha! It's still closed. Brilliant."
"What's still closed?" Rose waited for him to stop speaking gibberish, gently coaxing coherent words from him, as she always did.
He turned to her, a stupid grin on his face. "When the gap sealed the disks stopped working."
"Yeah?"
"And then you went to Bad Wolf Bay."
"The gap was still open there…" She finished, understanding. "I must've hit the button or something…"
"And it sent you through just as the gap sealed itself forever. Lucky too, cause a second too late and you'd be half in that world half in this one." He made a face. "That'd be a nasty mess."
"But the gap's still shut, yeah? There's no hole in the fabric of space and time or anything?" Her smile grew wider and wider when it started to sink in. She was home.
"Oh yes." He beamed, hands in his pockets. "Gap's all sealed up, good as new."
"And I can stay?" She asked this last question, not so much because he could do anything about it, because she wanted him to say it. She didn't want to hear any more 'that's impossible' or 'you can't or you'll destroy the universe.'
"Can't seem to get rid of you, can I?" He teased.
Rose found that the tears were still burning her cheeks, streaming from her eyes as she smiled. "Not on your life." They laughed together, relieved and drained. The whole thing almost seemed like some distant joke.
Rose ran a finger over the TARDIS' console, looking at some lever she didn't know. "Doctor."
"Yeah?" He was entirely too happy and too clueless to pick up on the change in her tone. He walked right in.
"Just before…before all this," She motioned to the ship with a finger, "You were going to say something…"
His smile faded. Shit.
Rose turned to face him again, "So?"
"So, what?"
She licked her lips, knowing instantly that he wasn't going to make this easy. "So. What were you going to say, Doctor?"
"Me? Oh, I was just…" His hand exaggerated his attempt to find an escape. "You know, there's a planet, get this, made entirely out of diamond." He nodded and turned to the controls. "We're not too far, just a quick stop—"
Rose crossed her arms and leaned on the consol next to him, peering at his face as he tried to stare around her. "You're not getting out of this."
He set his jaw stubbornly. "And a waterfall, an actual waterfall of Sapphires. Think of it. They explode in the—"
She put her hand on his to stop him from whisking them off before she got her answer. "Doctor, I'm not letting it go, so might as well tell me."
He took a step back. "Rose…"
"Are you scared?" She leaned against the consol, watching him.
"No." He scoffed. Ha! Scared? He was fucking terrified.
"Well, come on, get on with it. I'm never gonna stop asking." She crossed her arms and lifted her eyebrows, looking down on him though she was shorter.
He frowned, looking away from her smug smile. "Don't."
"Was it really that bad?"
"Rose, I'm asking you. Don't."
"Why?" She was growing frustrated. She had to know. There was no way she could ever let it drop. He was being childish. "What were you going to say?"
"I wasn't going…" He looked at his shoes and kicked at the floor. Why was she trying to make him uncomfortable? And she had the nerve to look angry. He shook his head. "I'm not…no. Drop it."
She clicked her tongue, her frustration bordering on anger. She took a firm step in his direction, and he leaned backward slightly. The look in her eye making him nervous. Rose wanted to throttle him. "No, I'm not gonna drop it. I said, 'I love you.'"
He cringed.
She pretended not to notice, but it only increased her ire. "Then you were about to say something, said it was your last chance…well?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Like hell it doesn't." She snapped.
He sighed. "We were saying goodbye. I didn't think I'd ever see…" He closed his eyes and opened them, trying to avoid her face, but not succeeding. When he finally met her eyes, she didn't look angry. Instead of finishing he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. Rose buried her head in his jacket, feeling safe for the first time in months.
The Doctor rested his cheek against her hair, knowing that he'd never avoid it forever, but dreading what he was about to do. He had a vague understanding of the romantic ideas tumbling around in her head, and he knew that he'd not be fulfilling any of them. Giving in was only going to hurt her, but she'd never believe him. She'd be stubborn and he'd lose eventually.
He closed his eyes, leaning toward her ear. If he said it quietly, it might be easier. "Rose Tyler." He began, but stopped. This wouldn't make her happy. "Rose Tyler, I love you." He finished, finally. She pulled away, looking up at him blankly.
He knew what came next. She'd smile or cry or say she loved him too, something emotional. He'd have to watch her happiness, just to crush it. There was nothing he could do about the facts, and they all worked against them, even now. He waited for the jumping up and down, the clapping excitedly, maybe another hug, which he felt he could live with. What he didn't expect was, without a smile or a word, for her to grab his head pulling him down to her level, and kiss him.
In hindsight, he should have expected just that, but if there was one thing he couldn't be clever about this was it. She had kissed him before, well, her body had, the brain had been someone else. It wasn't much different this time, except that Rose didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. His hands were around her waist before he realized anything had changed, and she was raking her hands through his hair and down his back. When her lips parted, he almost forgot to stop her. Almost.
The Doctor pushed her back lightly. This was the part where he ruined everything. Rose looked up with seductive eyes and flushed cheeks. He averted his gaze and cleared his throat.
"Rose…"
She put her head on his shoulder, her hands still stroking his hair. The Doctor tried to focus his thoughts, but she was making it difficult. "Rose, you're twenty." He finally said, and he opened his eyes and put actual distance between them, his hands on her shoulders.
"Yeah?" She laughed, shrugging.
"Think about it. You're twenty, I'm 900." He raised his eyebrows and waited for the information to sink in. It didn't.
"Okay?" She looked puzzled, and he rubbed the back of his head in frustration.
"I'm trying to tell you, this won't work." He got something then, she frowned. "You're human, you'll age and I don't, I'll regenerate. We can't. It—"
"Okay, so what's stopping you now?"
He frowned. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah, I heard you. Human, I get it. But why can't you just be with me now? Me growing old? That's miles away, years, ages, we've got time. Who knows, maybe we'll find a way to work round it, but right now, we don't have to worry bout any of that cause I'm right here." He could be so dense sometimes.
"But I can't change the fact that you're human. You're going to…" He didn't even want to voice it, but she wasn't listening to a word he was saying. "You're going to die."
"Yeah, so're you." She tried to understand why any of this was relevant to her having to stop kissing him.
"Yes, but much later and—"
"You don't know that." She shook her head, not liking to talk about death and she certainly couldn't picture the world without the Doctor, but he was trying to see his future and even the Doctor had limits. "Look, I think that it should be my choice, yeah? My life, my decision. If you don't want to be with me, then you don't, but don't try and pull some lame excuse, just say it."
He opened and closed his mouth stupidly. "This isn't a lame excuse…"
"Yeah it is. It's pathetic, really. You're scared of what hasn't even happened yet. I could lose you at any time, but I don't care. Cause the time I do get is worth it. It is always worth it, Doctor."
He looked at her, all her lusty playfulness replaced with anger. She had her points. He knew that much. But she didn't understand. For her, it was this one time, this one heartbreak and then it would be over. For him, he had suffered a thousand heartbreaks. It was worth it, yes. But you can only do it so many times before you can't live through it any more. She wouldn't be the first he lost.
"It always is, yes." He agreed, somberly.
"So we're agreed?" She looked hopeful, and he knew that he wasn't going to tell her no.
"Yeah." He nodded finally. Rose closed the distance between them quickly, her eyes full of mischief.
"So, that mean I can kiss you now?" She smiled.
He really had no way of winning. She kissed him, and he didn't mind. She pulled his hair, but it didn't bother him. She pushed him toward the consol, clawing her way onto his lap, and yeah, he didn't complain about that either.
She would get her way despite every law of the universe working against them. Still, it's not like he never bent the rules. He was always told impossible, but that had never stopped him. Implausibility made it more exciting, gave him a reason to fight. And for the girl removing his jacket, he'd fight every law of the universe. Because, honestly, if he didn't cause just a little bit of trouble, then he could hardly call himself the Doctor.
THE END.
