Originally, this is planned as a one-shot, but I have a second chapter written and if there is enough interest, I will continue it as a multi-chapter fic.
The inspiration for this fic is the recent death of someone close to me, and I will try to approach the subject of death with as much maturity and emotional attachment as I can, without investing myself too much in it. Please, do review. It means a lot to me to hear your opinion.
Please, enjoy:
"Sasuke?" Her voice is filled with worry and she looks at you through her lashes, her green eyes trying to read the emotions you are so good at hiding. She reaches out and touches your shoulder and even though your heart jumps in your chest, you don't react. She frowns deeply and you hate yourself, because she's beautiful when she smiles and when she looks at you with bright green eyes, happiness radiating from every pore. She's innocent to the suffering and the pain— the devastation. You don't want her to know of the darkness within you. You're afraid you're going to diminish the light she holds within her.
You don't deserve her. You know this. Everyone knows this. She's beautiful and smart and good. She's happy and she smiles at everyone and everything. She's content and she wants to help you. Her hand squeezes your shoulder and she's yet again showing you that silent support you haven't earned.
You'll never be good enough for her.
You try to smile for her. Just a little curl of your lips, because that's all you're capable of these days but your lips don't move and you end up staring at her with a blank expression on your tired face. She smiles tentatively at you, a gesture of understanding and acceptance and you find yourself feeling angry at her. She doesn't understand. She will never understand so why is she trying so hard? Why? She doesn't know how much you are hurting. She doesn't understand the extent of your suffering. She doesn't understand that there's no hope for you. Why? Why doesn't she understand? Why is she refusing to see and acknowledge the obvious?
Because she loves you.
You close your eyes. The only sound surrounding you — the only sound you care about — is her rhythmic breathing. You think of your parents, buried deep underground, never to take another breath. You feel lost. You feel empty. There is no hope.
"Sasuke? Please talk to me."
You want to run from her — from her love and understanding and her warm voice and light laughter — but you don't.
She's the only thing keeping you from falling apart.
But you can't love her because your heart is already dead.
I'm sorry.
