The Adventures of the Magical Donut and Abraham Lincoln

Notes:  (You no have to read notes if you dun want to.)  It's one o'clock now.  That's, one o'clock AM.  I'm not an insomniac.  It's not that I can't fall asleep; it's that I choose not to.

My poor computer.  I leave it on all day as I'm downloading (ooohhhh, I love downloading…. really, I do), and then now, at one o'clock, I decide I should go to sleep.  So I turn it off, go and pour myself a glass of milk, pout over the fact that we're out of chocolate syrup so it had to be regular milk, and then come back here, in my room, and turn my computer back on.  Poor thing, it's gonna catch fire and burn down my house.  I think my dad would get mad if that happened.

Oh, yeah, in this story, I always mention how much Shuuichi and Ryuuichi look alike.  Well, to tell the truth, I really don't think they look alike at all, other than they are built sort of similarly, and it also depends on which personality of Ryuuichi you're talking about.  In fact, I think Shuuichi looks like Ryuuichi about as much as Hikaru looks like Nova in Rayearth……  Anyway, the whole look-alike-thing compliments this story, and since everyone seems to think that they look soooo much alike, I decided, why not use it?

And if you don't get the Abraham Lincoln part of the title after reading it, you probably won't ever, 'cause I'm not telling.  I'll give you a hint though.  Watch Robin Hood: Men In Tights, and it might make a little more sense, though not much.

Warning:  Incoherence, as usually found in wee-hour-in-the-morning writings, and possibly some shounen-ai.  Probably, but I don't really know.  I haven't written it yet.  Maybe it would make more sense to type this up after I write it.  That would be good for a normal person, but I know I'll forget.  I'm growing a mouth now, so some swearing may ensue.  I also tend to string phrase after phrase after clause after sentence after sentence together, separating them by only commas, if that.  Yes, these are considered run-ons, and I know what I'm doing is wrong and grammatically incorrect, but hey, I can do what I want.  It's my story.  And besides, Charles Dickens did it all the time.  So why can't I?

Disclaimer: I'm really thirsty with no more milk.

Uh, Gravitation doesn't belong to me.  Neither does Ryuuichi.  But, maybe he's included in 'Gravitation?' If not…  I don't own any of the characters either.  Only the sentences, if that's what they're called.

Chapter 1

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, KNOCK, KNOCK.

Dammit.  Who the hell knocks that loud?

"What do you want?" Yuki Eiri shouted at the door, wiping the sand out of his eyes.  'Cause he was sleeping.  You  know, the sandman?

"It's Tohma."

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Open the door, Eiri-san."  Smile.  Or, at least, Yuki assumed he was smiling, because he always smiled.

Yuki sighed.  And sighed again.  This couch was too comfy.  And Yuki hadn't slept for a few days before this…

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!

God, for such a scrawny man, he sure could pound.  On the door, if you were thinking something else.

"What?" Yuki muttered as he forced himself onto his feet with all his self-discipline.  He would have looked through the peephole, just to keep Tohma waiting, but he was too tired.  He opened the door, lazily fiddling with the locks.

Sure enough, there was Tohma, in his women's funeral netting, with his arms crossed and a feminine pout on his face.  Hmm, I wish I were as stylish as Tohma.  Next to him stood a very short (well, he seemed short because Tohma is so much taller than he looks) brown-haired, blue-eyed giant purple people eater.  Uh, no, a very short, brown-haired, blue-eyed boy.  A boy, and he looked kinda familiar, but it was dark, not to mention late, or early, depending on if you're a morning person or a night person, and Yuki couldn't quite place him.  Never mind, it just came to him.  He was that singer.  The one that his boyfriend and his little brother obsessed over.  Yuki thought back, trying to remember his name.  He remembered it sounded like Shuuichi, but different.  Oh, a lot of help that did now.

"Eiri-san," Tohma said, tilting his head to the side.  "I need you to take Ryuuichi for awhile."

Ryuuichi.  That was it.

Wait…  "What do you mean, 'take him?'" Yuki asked, blinking his eyes.

"Well, he needs a place to stay," Tohma said.

"What's wrong with his place?"

"It burned down."

"How?"

"I told him not to play with matches…"

"Forget it," Yuki muttered, grasping the handle of the door and preparing to slam it shut in Tohma's face.  He loved to do that.

It was then that his amber eyes met those deep blue ones.  Blink.  Blink, blink.  Blink.  Nyaaaaaaaa, he looked like Shuuichi.  That wasn't fair.

"Eiri-san," Tohma said.  "Just take care of him for awhile."

"Oh?  Now I have to 'take care' of him?" Yuki asked, crossing his arms as if to mock Tohma.  Tohma noticed this and let his fall to his sides.  Yuki smirked.  "Why don't you take care of him?"

Twitch.  "I don't want to."

Twitch, twitch.  "What makes you think that I do?"

Blink.  "I don't care if you do or do not.  You have to."

"Why?"

"Because I said so," Tohma said so.  "And I'm older and richer.  So there."

"Fine.  Why don't you just rent a hotel room for him?"

Blink.  Damn, Yuki, why do you have to be so smart?  You're ruining my story, stupid.

"He needs to be taken care of," Tohma said slowly.  Yay, Tohma just got rid of my plot hole!  Yay!  …Did I just say 'plot?'  Heh…oops.

Tohma smirked, and then shoved Ryuuichi into Yuki's apartment.  It seemed like he was using the singer as a weapon, because he had perfect aim and sent them both toppling to the floor.  By the time Yuki managed to shove the singer off him (which wasn't too hard because he's so little), Tohma had already disappeared.

Yuki looked into those big blue eyes.  Blink.  Dammit, where was Shuuichi?  Yuki turned to fumble through his pockets in search for a cigarette, and, if he was lucky, a lighter too.  "Fine," he muttered.  "But don't you dare touch anyth—"  Yuki looked up to find Ryuuichi had disappeared.  Strange…

It was then that he heard it.  Ryuuichi was already in the back, his feet pounding against the hardwood floor, occasionally swinging the doors open, and then slamming them shut again with a quick glance inside the room to prove that Shuuichi wasn't in there.  "Shu-chan!  Shu-chan!  Guess what?  Guess what, guess what?  I get to live—" Slam "—with you for awhile—" slam, thump, thump, thump "—and we're gonna get to play together soooooooo much—" slam "—and it's gonna be so much fuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!"

Pause.  SlamThump, thump…thump…thu--  "SHUUICHI, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!"

Yuki got up and glanced around for his cigarettes.  He tried to remember if he had run out.  He hoped not—he had a lingering suspicion that he was going to need them.  A lot of them.  With a sigh, he gave up his search and dragged his feet into the back hallway to find Ryuuichi sitting on his heels in the middle of the floor, nearly in tears.  Yuki grabbed him by the scruff of his neck (a habit he picked up—he found out it was a much easier way to carry around Shuuichi) and dragged him across the floor.  To his surprise, Ryuuichi started giggling.  He seemed to be enjoying the ride.

"Let's get one thing straight," Yuki said as he lifted Ryuuichi off the floor and tucked him under his arm, just because he did not want the childish singer to enjoy anything about staying here so that he would never come back.  Ryuuichi seemed to like this position as well, though.  "You are not to touch anything, nor are you to make any noise.  You got that?"

"Do you have any chocolate milk?" Ryuuichi asked wistfully, seeing that they were nearing the kitchen.

"What?  Did you just hear me?"

"I love chocolate milk," Ryuuichi said.  Somehow he had escaped his position from under Yuki's arm and was now sitting cross-legged on the counter with his stuffed pink bunny stuffed (pardon the pun) in his lap.

"Hey, you're not listening!" Yuki said, trying to keep his temper under control.  He didn't believe it.  He had actually found someone worse than Shuuichi.  …And by that I mean more annoying, in case you were thinking something else.

"I remember this one time when I wanted chocolate milk, but Tohma didn't have any so we had to walk four miles into town and—"

"HEY!!!" Yuki shouted.  He quieted, trying to remember the singer's name to attempt to get his attention.  It always worked with Shuuichi.  In fact, Shuuichi seemed to over-exaggerate his happiness whenever Yuki called his name.  Speaking of Shuuichi, where was that overly hyper, fluffy pink ball of rubber bands?  Yuki wished he would come home soon, if just to get someone to divert Ryuuichi's attention.  Diverted attention?  Yuki realized his attention was diverted, and immediately he diverted it back to the counter, but to no surprise, Ryuuichi was gone.

Yuki glanced around the room, but no Ryuuichi.  He then made his way back into the hallway and peeked into all the bedrooms, but no Ryuuichi.  He then looked in all the closets, but no Ryuuichi.  He then looked in the fridge, and in the stove, and under the bed, and in the microwave, and under the couch, and behind the TV, and in the medicine cabinet, and in the dresser, and behind the desk, and in his computer, and under the table, and in the coffee cup, but no Ryuuichi.  It was then that he noticed that he had left the front door open.  Yuki sighed.  Tohma was gonna kill him.  And where was Shuuichi?  He'd be a really big help right about now.