No Ordinary Day
As Gomez practiced his sword swallowing Morticia sat in her stately chair, just finishing knitting the thirteenth sweater of the day. With a sigh she stared at her talented husband thinking that this was just another ordinary day. With both kids away at college and she and Gomez growing older, the magnificent mansion wasn't as lively as it had been years ago. Grandmama passed on in the grandest manner of a bottle rocket colliding with her broom and Lurch, whose duties were significantly reduced, spent most of his time at the movies. A loud boom and the falling of plaster shook Morticia out of her trance, reminding her that fourth occupant of the house was also trying to break the monotony of the day.
"Gad! Now that was a ten!" exclaimed Gomez while wiping off the sword. "That Fester definitely knows his TNT."
"Oui" replied Morticia, honestly not meaning to throw her husband's libido into overdrive.
"Tish! That's French, you know that I'm not responsible for my actions." Gomez may have gained some years on him, but when it came to his beautiful bride, he could still be on her in 1.8 seconds.
"Tish, let's have a go in the cave, your moans echo lovely in there."
"Later, darling, later. Whilst Lurch out, I must really get to the kitchen and prepare your dinner." With that, Gomez calmed back down. All these years, his wife had kept her word to him and he knew that later would certainly be worth the wait.
Unknown to all, this day was about to test just how far an Addams will go to preserve their way of life.
The car drove around the block for the fifth time that evening. The two occupants, Tom and Bill, were discussing if they had everything needed and if indeed tonight would be the night. New to town, they had quickly heard of the richest family in town. Gomez Addams was a financial genius. With the family's old money invested, he had new money rolling in 10-fold. Other crooks had said that it was too dangerous to consider robbing the place, with stories of explosions, torture devices, wild animals and even reports of people seen going into the house and never coming back out. That was not enough to dissuade the two, it was a big house, surely they could snoop around quietly and not be noticed. Surely the rumors were not true.
As far as Tom and Bill could tell, they weren't even sure if anyone lived in the old house on the hill. During their surveillances they never seen anyone moving about. No head count of who actually lived there. If they were going in, they were going in prepared for anything. 1:ooAM would be the time and after a few more beers each courage would be their middle names.
At 1:30 in the morning, Gomez, Morticia and Fester were in the playroom relaxing before retiring to bed. Gomez slid up to Morticia wrapping his arms around her waist then moving up to cup her breasts.
"Cara Mia to remind you it is now later."
Morticia turned around, pressing her body into Gomez and raking her nails along Gomez's face
"Yes Bubala, too bad Uncle Fester is on the rack, I could use a good stretching."
"Can't you two ever give it a rest? I'm in the room!"
At that time, all three heard the sound of glass breaking.
"Great Scott, Lurch must have forgotten his key again", exclaimed Gomez "Let's go ask the ole boy how the Werewolf from Mars marathon went."
Tom and Bill were both wondering what the hell they had gotten into. The flashlight beams were revealing some very odd displays. Who the heck would think that a two-headed turtle or a leg hanging from a marlin's mouth would be considered tasteful much less valuable. With the rays of light exploring new surroundings, the last thing the crooks wanted to see were three pairs of eyes staring at them.
"I say ole man, is there anything we can help you with?" asked Gomez.
"I don't think that they are here to fix anything Gomez, I haven't called a repairman, did you Morticia?"
"No Uncle Fester I did not, even though the furnace has been acting up. Maybe they are psychic repairmen". "Are you?" asked Morticia, tilting her head sideways waiting for their replies.
