Castiel wondered where everything went wrong. When his life had become this awful. He stared down at the small gram of cocaine on his table, wishing it would disappear but knowing he really doesn't want that. He'd tried stopping his awful habit, cold turkey, but ended up having a break down in the middle of the street.

Sweat and tears mixed together as his body retched and he screamed so loud, but no one noticed him. Just a disgusting drug addict having a melt down. No one cared. Ever.

He jerks himself to the present. He sighs and grabs the flimsy credit card, tapping it against the table, his mind knowing he shouldn't do this, but his body screaming for it. He's filled with self-loathing as he starts to separate the white powder into lines.

He wakes up on the floor, confused and dazed, only half realizing he's laying in his own vomit. He sighs and grabs a towel, wiping the mess up before climbing into the shower. He sighs as the cold water washes over him, there's only cold water in this shithole of a place. He steps out and is met by the cold winds of December, his body already starting to shake as he wraps himself in a towel.

The streets are alive with people bundled up in warm clothes, but they all pass by him. No one even spares a glance for the poor beggar. Castiel has tried so hard to find a job, but no one would take him. People knew a drug addict when they saw one and no one wanted him. No one ever did.

He holds a small cup in his hands; change from kind passerby's sitting it in. Not enough, though.

These were the times when he really hated his life and himself. When he had to choose between starving and going without his addiction.

Money just never seemed to come easy.

Two weeks later and it'd been 3 days since he'd had a nice meal. His only food he'd consumed was 2 days prior, and that was a small, uncooked bowl of ramen noodles he'd stolen. It didn't help but make him realize how hungry he actually was. He had no money for food, the rent, or drugs. Out of luck again.

But he knew a way to get money. He'd seen girls doing it before and had refused to go that low, but now, as he counted his ribs that poked out too much, it didn't seem that bad.

He stood on the dark corner, arms crossed, trying to shield out the cold. He felt embarrassed and idiotic. His pride and dignity had left him long ago and now he was left with nothing, not even money to show for his hours of standing in the cold. He could feel tears coming up and his lower lip trembled but he refused to cry. He needed to take care of himself and crying would NEVER make anything better. He looked at the sky and prayed it wouldn't start snowing.

His mother used to tell him stories of guardian angels, and that everyone had one. He wondered where his was, briefly, before shaking his head. It was too cold for angels to fly.

Castiel was about 10 minutes from walking back home when the car pulled up. At first, he didn't see it until the man came out of the car. When he heard the door shut, his eyes jerked to the man walking towards him and he instantly tensed.

The man was very handsome, tall with sinewy muscles and a tan complexion. His hair was a dirty blonde and his eyes were a bright green, reminding Castiel of spring.

The man stopped about three feet in front of him and Castiel momentarily considered bolting and running home, forgetting all this happened until the man spoke, "Uhm, hi. Are you…?" His voice was rough and deep and sent chills down Castiel's spine. It took him a minute to realize that the man was asking if he was a prostitute. He considered saying no, but his stomach growled loudly and he felt the pain of hunger and murmured, "Y-Yes…I am." The man smiled faintly and pointed to his car. "Shall we?" He asked and Castiel studied him warily before nodding and walking towards the black Impala. As he sat in the car, the man said, "I'm Dean, by the way." Dean started to drive away and for a panicked moment Castiel thought he was being stolen. "Where are you taking me?" He asked nervously, looking at Dean, scared and unsure. "A hotel. Got a room, didn't think you'd want to do it in a car." Dean looked at him and gave him a crooked smile, making Castiel's heart thump before fear engulfed him again. Of course, they'd need a room to…do what prostitutes do.

Castiel's nerves wouldn't calm. What was he doing, saying he was a prostitute?! He's never even had sex! Guy or girl! This man was paying money for a good time and Castiel would NOT be able to deliver. Just another disappointment. Castiel opened his mouth to tell the man to just stop the car and let him out when they pulled up to the hotel.

Shit shit shit.

Dean got out and Castiel followed him into the hotel. They walked through the lobby and to the elevator. Dean stopped and handed Cas the room key, "I forgot something in my car. Go on up to the room and I'll be there soon." Dean jogged away and Castiel stood there. He glanced at the card, Room 508. He walked into the elevator and pressed floor 5.

The closer to the floor he got, the more Castiel felt like he was going to vomit.

Dean felt like a moron for forgetting to get his keys out of his car. He'd been so focused on the gorgeous man sitting next to him in his Impala. He grabbed the keys and locked the car, walking back to the hotel. Dean wasn't much for prostitutes, but he felt bad for the guy. He could see how skinny he was through the heavy trench coat, and although he'd only recently decided that he liked guys, he couldn't leave the poor boy out there in the cold.

From the moment Dean had seen him standing at the dark corner, he knew he couldn't leave him there. His pale face only made his black, messy hair look even better on him, and his blue eyes glowed like stars. He looked alone and sad, and Dean knew he had to do something. He wasn't the caring type, but hell, he wasn't cruel either.

As he stepped into the elevator, pressing the 5th floor, he kept thinking about him. He wondered where he lived, if he had another job. He looked like he hadn't eaten in days.

The elevator dinged and Dean stepped out onto the floor and walked to room 508, slipping his extra key card in and opening the door. He walked in and turned, locking the door. He turned around and froze. The boy was lying on the bed, curled up with his back to Dean. Dean stared at him in silence for a while before the boy turned and looked at Dean, jumping up when he realized he wasn't alone, "Oh! I-I'm so sorry, the bed was just…. really comfortable." He looked so ashamed, with his head hanging low.

"No, it's fine." Dean said, laughing light-heartedly. The boy blushed deep, glancing towards Dean then the bed, then away. "So…" Castiel murmured as silence hung in the air.

"What's your name?" Dean said. The boy blinked, looking surprised that someone even cared to ask. "Castiel. My name's Castiel."

Dean smiled warmly, walking up to Castiel until they were almost touching, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Castiel." And with that, Dean's lips touched Castiel's. Castiel froze for a second before slowly responding, wrapping his arms slowly around Dean's waist. Dean tangled his hands in Castiel's hair, deepening the kiss. He backed Castiel up against the wall and ground his hips into Castiel's. Cas broke away from the kiss and made a low, throaty moan as his face turned a deep shade of crimson. Dean smirked and did it again, kissing Castiel's neck as he ran his hands up Castiel's sides and under his coat, pushing it off him. He shivered as Dean's fingers trailed up his shirt and pushed it off, too.

He must be new at this, Dean thought. He isn't taking control or doing much, poor thing. Dean's fingers trailed over Castiel's chest and he felt shy, cold fingers pushing up the hem of Dean's shirt, too. Dean smirked and helped him take it off, Cas blushing the whole time.

Dean kissed Castiel again and was surprised when Castiel broke away, having a look of unsure confidence in his eyes as he pushed Dean back onto the bed. Dean looked at him and smirked as Castiel crawled on top of him, straddling him. Dean leaned up and wrapped a free hand in Castiel's hair, kissing him roughly. He bit Castiel's lower lip, asking for entrance, and Castiel obliged, opening his mouth for Dean to explore.

Cas leaned forward, rubbing himself against Dean and Castiel moaned, surprised at the friction. Dean smirked into the kiss, rutting up against Cas again. Castiel bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a breathy moan. When he opened his eyes again, he stared at Dean for a while before slowly working to get Dean's jeans off.

Dean helped him push them off, left only in his boxers. Castiel hesitantly pulled his boxers off, too, looking away and blushing as he did.

Dean sighed as he was let free, no more confinement, but he was painfully hard now. He'd never really felt this way for a guy, or girl…. anyone, really.

Castiel stood up abruptly and Dean blinked, sitting up on his elbows to look at him. Castiel's eyes were lowered to the floor as he stammered out, "Can you sit up, please?" Dean smirked at the added on 'please', and sat up, looking at Cas as he breathed out again and got on his knees.

Castiel had no idea what he was doing. He still wished he could just make a run for it, and he knew he wasn't doing very good, and hoped this would help.

He'd never given a blowjob before, but how hard could it be?

He got on his knees, feeling his cheeks warm as he looked everywhere except AT Dean. He felt a hand on the back of his neck, and for a second he was scared Dean was about to force himself into Castiel's mouth. But Dean just rubbed a soothing circle and ran a hand through his hair. Castiel didn't understand why he was being so nice and patient with him. He was still amazed Dean hadn't left yet.

Castiel looked up to meet Dean's eyes. Dean gave a warm smile and Castiel shivered, trying his best to return. He looked down at Dean and slowly leaned forward, licking it tentatively. Dean let out a low moan and Castiel took this as encouragement to put his mouth around Dean. He was surprised at how big he was, and disappointed in himself at how little he could take. He bobbed his head down, almost gagging before jerking back up and sighing in aggravation. "You don't have to do that, you know." Castiel looked up at Dean, "If you can't take it, the don't." Castiel looked down and nodded, feeling shy all over again. He put his mouth around Dean again and felt a hand wrap into his hair. He bobbed his head, slowly at first, testing his limits. "Ah…Cas…" Dean moaned and Castiel looked up at him through his lashes, still bobbing his head slowly. Dean looked down to meet his eyes and Castiel felt him harden in his mouth some. The hand on the back of his head didn't force him to go faster or deeper, it was just there. Whenever he'd try to go too far down, Dean would gently tug his head back before Cas could gag again. Dean's moans were really the only thing keeping Castiel going, every time Dean would moan louder than usual, he'd try to recreate what he'd just done, trying to get the same moan.

It felt almost…good. Knowing someone, anyone, wanted you. Which made it all the worst when Dean tugged Castiel off him completely. A wave of rejection hit Castiel before looking up at Dean. Had he messed up again? Was he going to leave now? Dean smirked at him, "I just didn't want to finish before we actually did anything." Castiel blinked at him. Oh.

Dean gently tugged at Cas's hair, signaling for him to stand up, and Castiel followed the command. Dean worked fast on Castiel's pants and boxers and before he knew it, he was stark naked. Dean looked him over several times and Castiel just got more and more self-conscious. Dean leaned forward and kissed him slowly, turning and laying him on the bed and Dean following. Castiel's heart began to pound. Did he really want this? Was he willing to lose his virginity, the only thing he had left, for money? His throat began to feel tight and he felt a panic attack coming on.

Dean looked over Castiel as he stood on his hands and knees atop him, marveling at how amazing he looked. I sound so fuckin cheesy, he thought with a smirk. He grabbed Castiel's legs, standing on his knees and grabbed the bottle of lube he'd already had put on the nightstand. He lubricated his fingers a good amount for running his finger's along Castiel's hole. Castiel gasped and blushed deep, looking at him nervously. "You ready?" Castiel looked away and simply nodded. Dean pushed in one finger slowly, looking at Castiel the whole time. "Breath and relax." He said, and Castiel let out a deep breath, his body becoming only slightly less tense. Dean began to work the finger slowly before adding a second and scissoring lightly. By the time Dean got to the third finger, he had to hold himself back from shoving himself straight into Castiel. He slid his fingers out and pulled Castiel toward, looking up at him for the okay to go. Castiel just nodded, still looking away. Dean pushed himself in, a hiss escaping through clenched teeth. Goddamn he felt good. Castiel made a strangled moan below him as he pushed in all the way. "You okay?" Dean asked, looking at him. Castiel's eyes were shut tightly and he nodded stiffly. Dean slid out and pushed in again, his whole body shivering with the sensation. His thrusts began to quicken and before he even realized what he was doing, he was pounding into Castiel, making long, loud moans come from the boy below him. He moaned and grunted himself, no one had ever really felt this good.

"Ahh, I'm close." Dean muttered, his thrusts becoming frantic as he felt the coil in his stomach. He snaked a hand between him and Castiel and began to pump Castiel, hearing a gasp from the boy as he did so. Castiel came with a scream of his name, much to his surprise, and coated himself and Dean in thin strings of cum. Dean thrust into him a few more times before coming himself, Castiel's name on the tip of his tongue, but never said. Dean collapsed on the bed, his chest heaving.

They laid in silence for several minutes, Dean calming himself. It took Dean a while to realize the strange noise he was hearing was quiet sobs. He leaned up on his elbows and looked at Castiel. He was curled up with his back to Dean. "Are you…okay?" He sat up more, finally seeing Castiel's face, which was tear-stained, his eyes puffy and nose red. "Castiel, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Castiel shook his head and quickly stood up, grabbing his clothes littered on the floor, pulling them on as he found them. "Wait, where are you going?" Dean stood up, grabbing Castiel's arm, he was now fully dressed except for his trench coat, and Castiel snatched his arm away. "I'm going. Isn't that what prostitutes usually do?"

Dean blinked, bewildered. "I…At least let me pay you." Castiel let out another short sob and walked to the door, "Forget it, I don't need money enough to do this." And with that, he was gone.

Dean stood, starring at the door for what seemed like hours.

What had he done wrong?

He picked up Castiel's trench coat that was still lying on the floor and sighed heavily.

Castiel felt ashamed and stupid. Why had he ever gone that low? He regretted everything. He hated this. He would never again sell his body. That wasn't love, it was…awful. He shivered, realizing he'd left his trench coat back at the hotel, but he refused to go get it. He felt…disgusting. He was no better than a whore, selling his body to strangers.

He knew it was at least a two-hour walk back to his apartment from here, and knew he'd never make it in the cold, but he kept walking anyway.