Harvey's Day with The Danvers Twins

"oy, that was the longest sermon in like, ever. I thought the rabbi would never, ever, EVER shut his mouth" Two-Face grumbled, plopping down on the sofa and opening a can of beer

"Holy Moses, these twins are heavy" Hal grunted, carrying a snoring Kara and Alex into the house

"so? So just lay 'em on the couch, you doofus" Two-Face snapped

"but my arms…" Hal whined pathetically

"oh for the love of Bob Kane and Jerry Siegel…" Two-Face groaned, getting up as he gently placed Kara and Alex on the sofa bed

"there, I did it! Are you happy now, you big whiner?" Two-Face asked irately, Hal just standing there

"well? Come on, speak! Cant you at least SAY something?" Two-Face asked, Hal babbling in tongues before running off

"… oh dear Hera, I do love my wife. I love her with all my heart and soul. I love all my children… especially the crazy drunken one who keeps babbling about getting beaten by a sick clown over and over. All I ask is… can you PLEASE give my children some sanity? Just yesterday Kara and Alex were eating an entire palm tree! Trust me, it makes sense in context. Please Hera, hear my prayer. We are definitely positively NOT a normal family. This beautiful mansion… it's like a zoo. A zoo filled with wild, raving, crazy and just plain nuts animals" Two-Face said, praying to Hera

"Harvey, darling! Can you come here for a minute?" Hippolyta's sweet melodious voice rang out

"…I'll deal with YOU later" Two-Face said, pointing upward as he went off to see his beloved wife

"yes dear?" Harvey asked

"I need you to take the twins with you to the park" Hippolyta answered, as all the color of Two-Face's body turned pale in pure horror

"…what?" Two-Face squeaked, remembering the nightmarish time he had to take them to Chuck E Cheese's and was forced into in the ball pit and humiliated to no end

"can… can you PLEASE get someone else? I'm… I'm too outdated" Two-Face said shyly, Hippolyta snorting in amusement

"oh Harvey; they're just playing with you. Cant you see how adorable and loving they are? They're such little angels" Hippolyta said, swooning

"I'd say something else, but given the fact that we ARE in a holy house, I'm not gonna do it" Two-Face remarked

"well the twins are taking their nap now. When they wake up, you can tell them that you're having a father and daughters day" Hippolyta said warmly

"oh geez, don't you see that they're a little… not very sane?" Two-Face asked

"oh honey, you make such silly excuses. They're very sweet little girls. After all, didn't Kara and Alex kiss you on their first birthday?" Hippolyta asked, Two-Face shivering as he remembered the moment

"…ok, I'll do it" Two-Face said, accepting the inevitable with whatever dignity he had left, as he came to the twins' room. Two-Face just took a deep breath in and exhaled and braced himself as he opened the door to see the terror twins sleeping in their beds

Alex, the oldest was snoring softly in her twin bed, her arms wrapped around her teddy bear as a pint of drool was on her pillow. Then there was Kara, the youngest, innocently sucking her thumb while she slept, her arms around her blanket and her giraffe. Harvey couldn't help but smile at how adorable his daughters looked. Soon enough, the alarm clocks rang which signaled that their slumber was over and the nightmare was about to begin. Kara woke up and yawned widely before breaking out into a wide delighted smile

"Alex! Alex! Daddy's here" Kara hissed excitedly, waking up her big sister

"mmh?" Alex grunted, half-asleep before she grinned ear to ear as Two-Face soon realized what was about to happen
"DADDY" Kara and Alex cheered in unison, tackling him on the floor

"hi sweethearts! Did Mama's pretty little ones sleep well? Are you excited to spend the day with Daddy?" Hippolyta asked, Kara and Alex nodding their heads up and down

"honey… please… don't leave me alone with them…" Two-Face pleaded pathetically, trying in vain to get out of an embarrassing and very dangerous situation

"awww Daddy's so silly. Such a silly Daddy" Kara squealed, her and Alex doing their trademark giggle

"ugh… Hera help me" Two-Face groaned as he drove to the park, Kara and Alex snoozing in their carseats

Two-Face sighed in relaxation as Kara and Alex played in the sandbox delightfully. Two-Face then decided to take advantage of the time he had while away from the troublesome twosome. Two-Face grabbed the newspaper and opened it only to see Kara and Alex yawning sleepily

"Daddy, we're sleepy" Kara whined, sucking her thumb innocently

"alright, let's go see Mama" Two-Face exhaled, grunting as he scooped up Kara, feeling the joints in his back start to crack as he buckled her and Alex into their carseats. Just then he spotted Doozle's Frozen Custard then glanced back at the twins. All at once, a smile formed on his face

"hey girls, wanna get some ice cream before dinner?" Two-Face asked, Kara and Alex cheering

"thank you Daddy. We love you so much" Kara cooed, her and Alex hugging their father close. Surprisingly, Harvey hugged back. No matter how much they scared the bejesus out of him, or how much they drove him crazy or how creepy they were, they're still his daughters and he will ALWAYS love them

"well there you guys are. Did we have fun with Daddy?" Hippolyta asked

"oh Mommy. Daddy got us ice cream for dinner" Kara said excitedly

"he did? Well that was very nice of him. What do we say to Daddy?" Hippolyta asked sweetly

"thank you Daddy" Kara and Alex said in unison

"you're welcome kids" Two-Face grinned, kissing Kara and Alex on the foreheads

"aww… I think these two are tired" Hippolyta cooed as Kara and Alex yawned and rubbed their eyes

"Daddy? Can you read us a bedtime story? Please?" Kara asked, begging

"alright kids, alright. Come here" Two-Face smiled, grunting as Kara leaped into his arms

"Great Caesar's Ghost, you're heavy" Two-Face grunted, patting Kara's back as he and Alex walked up to their room

"…and they all lived happily ever after. The end" Two-Face finished, sighing in relief as he finished reading Rapunzel. Kara and Alex were tucked into their beds, not quite asleep yet

"ok did you say your prayers?" Two-Face asked kindly, Kara nodding tiredly as she gave him a hug

"g'night Daddy. I love you" Kara cooed, kissing both of his cheeks before drifting off to sleep, sucking her thumb

"g'night sweetheart" Harvey said, kissing Alex goodnight as Alex closed her eyes and began to snore. Harvey gently checked to see if the girls were tucked in before turning off the lights and taking one last look at them before closing the door and leaving it creaked open

"that was very sweet of you Harvey. They really do love you" Hippolyta said, kissing her husband on the forehead