This one-shot occurs between The Day His Life Changed Forever and The Deneva Conflict. If you don't get the references check out my profile. Background knowledge you need to understand. Kate has only been on the Enterprise less than a month. Please review. Tell me you love it. Tell me you hate it. Come on people give me feedback. Based on reviews I will do the parent quiz on the other command staff like Sulu, Bones, and Scotty. The quiz was found on the internet. I did not make it up. Enjoy.
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CH. 1 Kirk - What kind of parent are you?
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
Kate sits glaring at Hamlet on her PADD. She is just getting a handle on reading regular English and now they expect her to read something called Shakespearian English. The "thou's" and "thy's" are giving her a headache. Luckily, because they know she needs to research more terms than the other kids, the teaching staff gives her access to her PADD when other the other kids can't. Kate opens up the Google app. She has learned far more surfing the GCN or Galactic Computer Network than sitting in class. A pop-up on the side of the screen instantly grabs her attention. "What Kind of Parent Are you?" Kate opens the quiz glancing over the introductory message about how finding what kind of parent you are will increase the chances of raising a happy, healthy child. Kate doesn't plan to be on the Enterprise forever but, it may help her deal with Kirk. Even with her uncanny ability to read people, Kate can't figure Kirk out. He stresses he values independence and individuality, but his rules are stifling. Bedtimes, vegetables, completion of these stupid homework assignments, and his no-flying policies are stressing Kate to her breaking point. Kate steals a side-glance at John who is taking copious notes about the character analysis of Prince Hamlet. To Kate, it is simple what Hamlet should do. Plan an assault and take back the throne from his convincing Uncle Claudius; however, William Shakespeare has dragged out his story to 175 pages of boring. After completing several questions of the quiz, Kate sees the flaw in taking the parent quiz for Jim. As hard as she tries to think like him, doesn't know him and figuring him out is the whole reason for completing the quiz. Kate drums her fingers on the table thinking or a way get Kirk to take the quiz and not know he is taking the quiz. The small pop-up in the bottom right-hand corner of her PADD gives her an idea.
Not caring that they are in class, Kate drops her PADD over John's as he is taking notes. "John, I need to instant message Kirk."
Sliding Kate's PADD off his, John looks at Kate sternly. "You need to figure out who Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are for the test tomorrow."
"General's," Kate says sliding the PADD back over his notes.
"Best friends," John gives Kate a paternal glare.
Kate studies his face thinking how much he reminds her of Kirk. Breaking into a smile, she shoulders checks him causing him to bobble slightly. "Like us," she smooths it over.
"Hamlet killed his best friends," John whispers giving her a half grin. "So far you have broken my nose twice, hog-tied me in a turbo and used me in a criminal spree. Maybe I should I find a new best friend Sparkles?"
"Nawh, you are good. If I had really hated you I would have shot you not hog tied which I assume means handcuffed," Kate winks. With Kate's arrival on the ship, the ratio is now equal with boys to girls letting Ronin and Cameron sit almost exclusively next to Jo and Erika without leaving him out. Lucky for John, he has a small crush on the Captain's daughter so it works out well. The only thing John has a huge issue with is Kate's lack of interest in school. John is not a genius but enjoys school, for the most part, earning him almost exclusively straight A's. Kate's constant interruptions make John want to pull his hair out, but he loves the attention he gets from her. Knowing it is a bad idea, John takes the PADD opening up the internal messaging system for the Enterprise. At least, he will be able to take notes while she is screwing around on the internet.
"Thanks," she gives him a smile that makes John's heart race. He rolls his eyes like it is no big deal but feels lighter than air as he turns back to Dr. Jackson's lesson. Kate finds the link to the quiz pasting it in the message window. Not wasting any time she quickly writes a message to Kirk. Hitting send, Kate goes back to half listening to the lecture until she gets his response. "Hey Jim, John asked me a question and I don't have an answer. Do you think rated R movies are okay for kids? I have listed a set of choices for you for easy responses. Please pick one.
A. As long as there is no depiction of sex or profanity.
B. As long as they come to me if they have any questions.
C. No way!
D. I'd prefer they didn't watch those stupid comedies.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
Jim sits fighting to pay attention at the staff meeting. Briefly, he wonders how much his senior staff tunes him out while he is talking. Taking a long draw on his coffee, Jim thanks god it was invented. Spock is so monotone during these meetings. If Jim did not have coffee, he might not be awake. The triple trill indicating a message has come through internal communications on his PADD gives Jim a happy diversion. Taking a sip of his coffee, he reads the message title Question for you from Kirk, Katherine. Fighting annoyance, he opens it. Since Kate is in class, she should be asking the teacher questions, not him. Reading her message, he fights both frustration and laughing aloud. Jim glances quickly at Spock. Seeing he is still introducing his topic, Jim decides to play along and follow the instructions in Kate's message. After reading the first question, Kirk types (C) as his response. He leans back waiting for Kate's reply. At least, this will keep him awake he thinks.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"(C) really," Kate looks at Jim's answer. The quiz is supposed to be non-biased and since he doesn't know he is taking it, it can't be any less biased than that, but no way can his response be (C). Kirk has to be crazy or didn't even read the answer options.
Hoping she isn't skewing the results, Kate opens a reply window to his message. Maybe he didn't understand the question. "Sometimes really smart people have no common sense," she thinks as she types a response to his answer.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
No sooner than Kirk sends his response and places his PADD on the table the device triple trills again. "I thought you were the (A) As long as there is no depiction of sex or profanity type answer. This is need to know information for me. We can discuss this later tonight so I can get you up to speed on what I do and don't know about life." Kirk reads her message getting a small grin. Kate still thinks she can work any angle to get what she wants. "It might change your answer to (B) As long as they come to me if they have any questions. The R-rated classification could expand our view pleasure if there is some wiggle room."
Kirk lays the PADD on the table thinking about Kate's response to his answer. After thirty seconds, he pens his own reply. Kirk can just imagine Kate wrinkling her nose and rolling her eyes as she reads it. Leaning back in his chair he keeps one eye on the PADD and one on the view screen as Spock indicates how power consumption can be 5% more efficient following the listed guidelines.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"Nope pretty sure it will stay (C) No Way until you are able to buy the ticket or download the movie by yourself at 18. You know what a stickler I am for my rules. In addition, the age rating is very subjectable. The only reason to make a movie rated R is for sex and profanity so answer (A) As long as there is no depiction of sex or profanity is ridiculous. Also, since you seem to have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality your acceptable "movies that I can watch rating" has dropped to movies containing talking deer named Bambi and fish named Nemo." Kate drops the PADD getting a scowl on her face.
"What now Sparkles," John hears the huff escape her lips. Sitting by Kate is a lesson in concentration and focus. Every ten minutes she is moaning and groaning about something.
"He dropped the parental guidance rating on movies to G," Kate complains. "What is G like great or something?"
"A rating of G means general guidance or anyone who can get into a theater can see it. Typically, it is cartoons, Disney, or talking puppets. Why," John asks. As Kate turns the PADD so he can read the email thread, John gets a huge grin. Of all the adults, Kirk is the one who is constantly telling the adults…"its' not that bad" during movie nights. He can't believe Kate doesn't realize the Captain is pulling her leg. Kate's big-eyed expression makes him want to break out laughing. "Oh come on Kate," John whispers. "The Captain is just pissed off. He is not going to be this difficult forever. Even Joanna's dad lets her watch some R-rated movies like my parents do." John can see his words of encouragement are doing little to quench the fiery rage bubbling in Kate. "Besides, you are grounded for the next five days. It is not like you are going to be watching movies or TV. Worry about it when you have to," John says flatly turning back to Ms. Brook's lecture.
Kate blows the hair out of her face using the side on her mouth in frustration. John is right. There is no sense in creating more problems for her fighting with Kirk. Hopefully, she will be off this ship before it becomes an issue. Kate glances down at the rest of his message. "Besides you are grounded for the next five days so you're not going to be watching movies or TV anyway." Kate's mouth drops open reading Kirk's response as she looks at John.
"Did they hatch you and Kirk from the same alien pod," Kate snips reading the exact same words she heard from John's mouth ten seconds earlier.
"Yes and you are next. Don't go to sleep Sparkles. They come for you at night," he says in a low conspiratorial voice. Kate exhales loudly drawing the attention of the teacher. Ms. Brook's continues lecturing after giving Kate and John a warning glare. "Stop worrying about movie ratings and concentrate on something else… like a play," John swipes the screen of her PADD back to the lesson.
Immediately swiping back to the quiz, Kate takes John's advice sending Kirk the next question. The movie issue can wait.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
If Kirk wasn't so bored at the staff meeting he would have contacted Ms. Brooks informing her to remove Kate's PADD as the device triple trills again. He opens the message and is surprised there is no witty comeback, simply a new question. "Now I really do like science so," Kirk reads Kate's next question. It is obvious she is making him take some on-line poll. As Kirk reads the question, he glances around the room seeing Sulu reading a message from his PADD. Kate must not be the only kid bored today in school and passing notes.
Your kid expresses an interest in science. What do you do about this?
A. Enroll them in the best science courses available.
B. Buy a microscope and encourage them to discover the scientific process.
C. Encourage them to get an after school job so they can buy a set of encyclopedias.
D. Tell all your friends how smart your kid is.
Jim makes his selection and hastily types a response. "You will be repeating science if you do not start paying attention. Put the PADD away and do your work. My answer is (B) by the way," Kirk adds before hitting send. Kirk lets his mind wander to his youth. He was never the best student behaviorally but being a genius meant when he needed to produce the work he could. Jim has a sneaky suspicion Kate is a student like him.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"Your answer is (B) really. Oh god, you are not going to try and be one of those overachiever parents so you can walk around and tell everyone how smart your kid is. Thanks so much for not picking (D). I stick out like a sore thumb already," Kate compliments him on his choice typing her response to Jim. This is far more fun than studying Bill Shakespeare.
"And what country was Hamlet set in," Ms. Brooks the ship's current librarian and historian asks scanning the crowd for her next victim. Even study bug John looks less than enthused with the lesson. "Kate," she settles her gaze on the Captain's daughter.
Kate's eyes drift to John's copious notes. "Denmart," Kate says promptly.
"Correct," she replies and begins lecturing again.
"It's Den MARK and stop cheating," John gives her a half smirk.
"If you would improve your penmanship, copying off you would he a hell of a lot easier," Kate responds smiling going back to her quiz. Kirk has been extremely prompt on answering. She only has eight more questions to go and wants this completed before they go to lunch.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
"How do you feel about kids playing sports?" pops up in his message window. Jim looks at the question before reading Kate's lengthy description of how and why he should answer it a certain way.
"Okay Jim," he reads Kate's message. "I have no idea what sports you have here, but we have ball sports, blood sports, combat sports, and racing sports. I assume you have the same things and the kids play them all here like back home. I prefer the ball and combat so I am totally good with violentish sports if you have them. Just letting you know. We have this thing called water hockey where you go after your opponents with clubs for a ball. You need to be a pretty strong swimmer but moving on," Kate types. "This question is really a no-brainer. If we weren't running around the track like a damn pack of gazelles, we would be running the halls and they really aren't wide enough to play tag in. It would have to be more of a chasing game." Jim gets a small grin thinking about how Kate says she wants honest answers but is clearly trying to sway him to the one she likes. "I will admit that I, I don't see how sports are a great way to teach kids discipline. I mean if you don't want to play why the hell are you out on the field. (B) I don't want my kids associating with those bullies who play sports is ridiculous. Anyone who thinks that kids that play sports are bullies has a screw loose. They might be snobs or assholes but not bullies. It is called being competitive. If you can't handle it get off the field. Okay so pick your answer and send it."
A. It's great, but no violent sports.
B. I don't want my kids associating with those bullies who play sports.
C. It's a great way to teach kids discipline.
D. Only if they show interest.
Kirk nods taking a sip of his coffee like he is following along in the staff meeting. "Sports keep you out of trouble so be prepared to pick one. Running the halls?! Jack did ask if he could do that for morning PT, but I gave him the same answer I am giving you…not enough room. We don't have combat sports unless you count paintball. There is no need for violent sports, but they are out there and no you can't do them. Therefore, my answer is (C) It's a great way to teach kids discipline. Now pay attention to Ms. Brooks or there will be some discipline when you get home." Kirk sends his response ready to read her reasoning of why it is a wrong answer.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
John catches Kate's huff and eye roll. Sneaking a peek at the email thread, he looks at her like she has grown two heads. "Here it is called water polo, not water hockey and you don't club your opponents, Kate," John looks back at the teacher.
"What do you possibly do in the water then with your clubs and balls," Kate studies John seriously.
"We swim for fun, play volleyball," John begins to explain but is interrupted by Kate.
"Does volleyball involve clubs?" She asks hopefully.
"No clubs."
"Do you wear helmets?
"No helmets."
"Heavy padding," Kate sums up her list of possible equipment needed for this sport.
"Where were you raised Thunderdome?" John stares at her. "You are too violent Sparkles."
"What," she laughs a bit too loud. "No, you just wear a helmet so you don't get you bell rung." Kate may not care if Ms. Brooks is becoming increasingly annoyed with the chatter from the back row but her Dad will when Brooks comms him after class.
Since Kate is grounded this is their only time to hang out. John is not going to help Kate add to the length of her grounding if he can help it. "Shhhh," he tries to quiet her down before responding. "My point exactly. Swimming involves just a bathing suit. If you come to the pool with a club I'm getting out."
"Chicken shit. Water hockey is great. I will show you after school," Kate promises.
"Um not," he elbows her playfully, "and hockey is great." John brings up his favorite clip of the Avalanche's hat trick that won the Stanley Cup playoff's last year.
"Mr. O'Neill I do not think Hamlet played hockey to gain the throne," Miss Brooks says sharply. "Can you tell me who the king was Hamlet was deposing?"
"Claudius ma'am," John replies. Since he has taken to sitting next to Kate, John has to review the material they will be covering the night before so he can to keep up in class and still look cool. It is worth it to spend an extra eight hours with Kate. "Stop getting me in trouble Sparkles," John winks at her going back to taking notes.
Clearly, John is more interested in this Shakespeare than she is. With no one to talk to, Kate turns her attention back to the on-line parent survey. She re-reads Kirk's last response and replies with her own.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
"Don't worry we are reading some ancient text called Hamlet. The plot is predictable so no worries. I can wing it. Okay so I was wondering about my name," Jim reads Kate's lame excuse for emailing him and not studying Classical Literature. "I have always liked my name but was wondering how you picked it. Did you and mom come up with it or was it all her? If you had nothing to do with my name, what would you think about naming your child Zelda? Her are your ways to respond."
What do you think of the name Zelda?
A. I love it!
B. I hate it!
C. It's fine as long as the child likes it.
D. I'm concerned about the child being bullied because of the unusual name.
"Zelda," Jim wrinkles his nose. Odd names like Swan Hilda, Ermengarde, and Zelda can be the difference between a happy childhood and one spent stuffed in a locker. He decides to have some fun with Kate as he writes his reply.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"Your answer is (A)? Are you serious," Kate shakes her head reading his response. The least he can do is take this quiz seriously. She is putting so much time into re-typing each question. Kate hastily responds.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
"(A) I love it! Seriously Jim. Then why not go with Daphne Doris Diana or Myrtle Mugwump. I really could use honest answer here. Unless you tell me why I am changing your answer to (B) because we both know Zelda Kirk is about the crappiest name out there." Kirk stifles a laugh knowing his answer has riled her up.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"Kate you can't change the rules of a game simply because you don't like them. You probably haven't heard of the game the Legend of Zelda, but I loved that game as a kid. In addition, Zelda is a strong and unique name. It is the nickname for Griselda. Crazy enough people with this name have a deep inner desire for a stable, loving family or community, and a need to work with others and a need to be appreciated. I think we missed the mark naming you Katherine. Since you are starting fresh do you want a new name?" Kate silently fumes reading Kirk's clever attempts at witty banter. "Helga is another good choice meaning strong and blessed. It is primarily used in the Scandinavian countries like Norway and Demark. Tell me, do you know anything about Denmark? You should because that is where Hamlet is from."
"What the hell is wrong with you Kirk," Kate shakes her head reading his answers and attempt to show he is smarter than she is. "Helga Kirk. Sounds like a foot fungus," she rolls her eyes. Kate looks at the next question. She immediately sees the flaw in the question and makes sure Kirk clearly understands what she wants before he answers it. Kate knows virtually nothing about his past. For her clarification, she adds, a final component before hitting send.
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STAFF MEETING READY ROOM ENTERPRISE
Kirk tries not to fidget waiting for Kate's reply. This is actually more fun than he thought. He is on the PADD before the second trill indicates Kate has sent him another message. "This is kinda a moot point seeing Mom is halfway across the galaxy and you are not in a polygamous relationship but how many children do you have or plan to have? I need you to answer this as if your future was open. Your response is (A) but if things would have worked out differently would you have wanted more than one? And just for the record, you don't have a surprise wife and kids waiting at another starbase do you. I mean I do have two brothers and a sister and your quarters are really tight. I have no idea where anyone else would sleep. Besides, when you have achieved perfection why mess with the results. So…"
How many children do you have or plan to have?
A. One or two
B. Two or three
C. Enough to start a string quartet.
D. However many we can!
Kirk reclines back thinking of his answer. When he was young and in his twenties, he never wanted kids but resigned himself to one for Lauren's sake after he achieved his own command. The more time he spent with Lauren the more he began to believe that kids might not be such a bad idea, but Lauren's disappearance changed his mind again. She like Nero had robbed him of any desire to have something that could be taken away in a split second. When he awoke in Star Fleet's hospital after fighting Khan and found out all chances for a family was destroyed after being cooked by radiation, Jim threw himself into his work. Twelve years later Kate showed up and changed his life again. If the universe has taught him anything, it is that plans change in an instant. This is an excessively deep answer for his daughter so Kirk goes with the truth.
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CLASSROOM ENTERPRISE
"Three would have been nice. As for family surprises, I have neither other kids nor a wife. You're the only one Zelda. Perfectly imperfect." Kate feels relieve wash over her body reading his response. She likes being an only child. Yes, all his attention is on her for both good and bad but the attention is nice.
Kate reads the next question in the quiz. Funny enough they just brushed this topic exiting the Bargain Barn last week. His response was "ahh no," but at least, this will give her some insight on why. Kate hopes he goes with any response but (A). All the other ones she can work with.
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