Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, nor do I own Jyou, Yamato, or any of the other characters that might show up in this fic. The fic itself (and the other ideas contained therein) *do* belong to me, however, so please don't use them without my permission. You can sue me if you like, but it would cost you more than you would get from me, so I wouldn't bother.
Author's Note: Just a little something I wrote in an attempt to fight off homesickness. Partially inspired by _Contact_ by Carl Sagan (which is, believe it or not, even better than the movie), and partially by my own life experiences. Thanks to both Musouka and Rachel Lynn for your comments and your friendship, you guys are the best!
Shimmercat, this is for you. You are the best friend anyone could ask for and I miss you terribly. I still haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do without you, but I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I love you.
~A Friendly Push~
I stare down at my limp suitcase, it's contents removed and placed neatly around the small room that going to be my home for the next few months. Part of my still can't believe that I'm actually here. Even though I can look outside my window and see the huge radio telescopes, the whole thing still has a surreal, almost dreamlike quality to it. I've spent the last year planning and preparing for this day and I have a feeling that the reality of it is going to take a while to sink in.
In the back of my mind, I'm still second-guessing my decision, wondering if my dad was right. "You'll never make it without my help, Jyou," he had said to me. "If you continue with this foolishness you'll get nothing from me. I'm not going got support a son who wants to spend the rest of his life gaping at the sky…." Scenes from our "discussion" three nights ago replay in my mind. I can still see him sitting behind his mahogany desk, still hear the suppressed anger in his quiet words as we talked.
The casual observer would have assumed our confrontation was merely a formal business meeting, rather than a father-son battle of wills. I'm still amazed at how calm I was able to remain, but I guess, looking back on my life, some of my best moments were those I spent faced by adversity. I could tell it surprised him, too, that I was so composed while informing him of my plans and explaining to him, quite logically, why I would never be a doctor that he could be proud of. Shuu and Shin had both had promise, but I—what with my clumsiness, my delicate digestive track, and my general lack of people skills—I was a lost cause from the start, something my father had never wanted to acknowledge. The biggest problem, at least for me and Shu, was that we just didn't want it. Not the way my dad did. Not the way that Shin did (although he couldn't satisfy our father either, not with his plans to go to South America). In medical training you have to want it, or you don't stand a chance.
When I explained that to him, he snapped. He'd been upset when Shu refused to follow in his footsteps, and I thought I'd never see him more angry than the night Shin announced he was leaving…but this was worse. He raised his voice, which I've only seen him do twice, and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was no longer welcome in his house.
Memories of home fill my mind and the floodgate that's been holding my emotions at bay over the last few days cracks and finally collapses under the strain. I sit down hard on the edge of the bed and hang my head, tear streaming unbidden down my cheeks. Sure, taking a summer internship at Nobeyama Observatory sounded like a great opportunity, but somehow, in the course of planning it all, I lost sight of just how much I would be leaving behind. Oh, I knew that that was part of the deal, but I never realized that it would be so hard. All my friends, everything familiar. I've never felt so alone…. At least in the Digital World, I had Goma-chan and Yamato and the rest. Here, I know no one and no one knows me.
Everyone who would care that I'm sitting alone in a strange room crying is hundreds of miles away in Odaiba. Oh, Yama-chan, I miss you. How did you ever convince me this was a good idea?
* * * * *
"Oh, Jyou, look at this!" I glanced up from my biology book to look at the blonde man lying in the middle of my carpet, my old science magazines spread haphazardly around him.
"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed. He knew that I had a test the next week, and he promised that if I let him come over he wouldn't disturb my studies. Instead of answering my question he looked back down at the magazine in front of him. I gave an exasperated sigh and was about to turn back to my notes when he started reading aloud.
"Attention college students interested in astronomy!" he said in a pretentious voice. He looked up at me and grinned, knowing that he would catch my attention with those words. Curious in spite of myself, I turn my chair toward him and wait, somewhat impatiently, for him to continue. "It has been the tradition for many years…why must you scientists be so wordy all of the time? Ah, here's the good stuff…. Nobeyama Observatory is offering paid summer internships to those who wish to learn more about our vast universe…blah, blah, blah…For further information or to request an application, please call…" he didn't bother reading the number. Instead he cut it out and handed it to me, grinning once more. I read through it as he continued, "This is perfect for you, Jyou. I can't count the number of times you've gone on about space exploration or the latest news in astronomy or about how much you loved stargazing in the Digital World. You've even got me interested in it, and I thought I hate science.
"I mean, just look at your ceiling…"he gestured at the little glow-in-the-dark stars just barely visible with the overhead light on. "Even with all the time you spend doing school work, you still managed to get all of those up there…and in proper constellations, no less." I waved my hand for him to lower his voice. He'd always been impressed by that, but it wasn't as time consuming as he seemed to think. It only took me a couple of evenings and besides, I enjoyed it. I got to take out my star charts and do some real problem solving. To be honest, it's one of the things I've done that I'm the most proud of, but I seriously doubted that my father would approve, if he ever found out. It's a good thing he didn't come into my room very often… Yamato just gave me a look and continued, "How can you turn this down? It would be so—"
"Wait, Yama, which magazine did you get this from? The date on the bottom says applications must be in by February 21, 1998. That's three years ago. How do you know it's still valid? And besides, it says here, 'Student must be majoring in one of the Physical Sciences and have a GPA of 3.0 or higher.'"
"Yeah, so what's the problem?"
"I'm not majoring in a Physical Science, I'm Pre-med." He just gave me an exasperated look.
"And how much do you actually like being Pre-med, Jyou?"
"Well," I replied, trying to prove him wrong, "I like Calculus, and the Chemistry and Physics courses have been really interest—"
He interrupts, "But what about Biology, Jyou, or History of Medicine or any of the other classes you've had to take that actually apply to being a doctor. And you get queasy when prick your finger. How are you going to deal with having to cut apart a cadaver or a cow's heart or—"
"Stop!" I felt bad for shouting at him, but his comments were making me nauseous and more than a little irritated. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it. Admitting it meant that I would have to face my father, to tell him that I didn't want to be a doctor. And that was not something I even wanted to contemplate. "We don't even know if the position is still available. The ad is three years old…"
Yamato, when he got an idea in his head, no matter how crazy, was not one to be easily daunted. "Well," let's find out. You find the latest copy of this magazine and I'll get the phone." He was out my bedroom door before I could say another word.
* * * * *
Thinking back on it, I smile and wipe the tears from my eyes. It took him several weeks to convince me that this was the right thing to do, and he was there to reassure me every time I would start to doubt. I can almost hear his soft, raspy voice right now, admonishing me for doubting myself again. He'd be right, of course. He always is. He's always been there to give me that little extra push, just when I need it the most.
Sniffling slightly, I reach over to phone, punching in the number I know better than my own. "Hello, is Ishida Yamato there? This is Kido Jyou. Yes, please. Thank you. Yama, hi! I'm here; I made it. Yes, I survived the trip, it…. No, I didn't have any trouble keeping my food down; those tablets you gave me were a great help, thanks. Met anyone? No, I just got in about an hour ago. What? Oh, of course you were right, and yes, I'm all set to prove my father wrong…."
~owari~
