Samanchan!
This story is about an OC that just popped into my head, she's a bit hot headed, paranoid, loner...the list goes on, and oh yeah! She's a whore. No sex in this chapter, just implied. No sex. Yet. You can guarantee there will be some dirty, nasty shit in future.
Takes place 100 years after the Blood War. Most Captains died and were replaced by their lieutenants, Ichigo was givin his own division, and due to PTSD he decided to become fascinated with poison and traps, but he is not the main character! Sana Shiragesa is! and it's her POV
Shiraken likes this one, yay!
Oh, I'm so insane...
"I…please don't make me do that…"
"Why not, he's a nice person."
"Because he will eat me."
"Nonsense, Sana-san just go give him these forms, I need his approval before I can transfer Ando. "
My captain Rukia Kuchiki is making me go to the fourteenth squad to give Captain Ichigo Kurosaki a transfer form for our twelfth seat. Normally I would do anything my captain tells me to, being her lieutenant I am supposed to do that. But…Captain Kurosaki is just plain scary…well, not like Kurotsuchi…oh god. Not. NO.
"Y-yes Captain…" I take the stack of papers and sulk out of her office.
Oh yeah, by the way, my name is Sana Shiragesa, lieutenant of squad thirteen. And I have an irrational fear of Captain Kurosaki, as Captain Kotetsu put it. Ah, fucking hair! I haven't cut my hair in a while and it keeps getting all over my face…being a girl sucks.
And on top of everything…his barracks has some crazy security system, he nearly took my head off with that Kido Cannon he has…and pitfalls…and…his lieutenant…he's...I don't even want to think about him. And everything is poisoned it seems, I've nearly died ten times there on my last trip.
I start flash stepping to his barracks…I don't even know what his squad does. After a few minutes I arrive, cautiously opening the door from the side, once its opened enough a huge blast of white energy nearly blasts a hole through me, I look in to see what the hell that was, I saw a blur of black run around a corner and away. It's always been like this, I've never seen three people in his squad at the same time, even in his barracks. Better get this over with. I walk in making my way to his office as quick as possible dodging the occasional dart, no doubt poisoned, that would fly down the hall at me…WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!
"It's the Elite Venomist Division." Who the fuck said that!? Did I say that out loud!? The fuck is a Venomist?
"No you did not, my Shikai tells me your thoughts and I can talk into your mind. My name is Ryuura Moshi, Third seat."
Well then get out of my head.
"As you wish. I must warn you, the traps have been updated since your last visit."
Hello? Are you gone? Good. His entire squad is so fucking weird! What the hell is it with the Elite Venomist thing? What are they needed for?
"Sorry for bugging you again, but we are all experts with poison and quick victories. Hence Elite and Venomist. I'll leave you alone now."
Holy shit where are you!? No response…Gah! I got hit by one of those darts. My eyes…my legs…My sight is fading, I can't move my…
"You again?"
…
"Oi, wake up!" Who the hell is it now…FUCK. It's Kurosaki.
"Eh…h-h-hello."
"What are you doing in my barracks, this is nearly the ninth time I've saved you from our traps. Did Rukia send you for something important?" He is sitting on the floor facing the wall with maybe fifteen, twenty names, all but two have red lines through it. Wait…Rukia Kuchiki!? Renji Abarai!? Why does he…is he going to kill them!?
"Those are the names of his friends, the ones with lines are the dead ones."
WOULD YOU STOP THAT!?
"Sorry."
His friends…he only has two left? Why am I feeling sad about this, he's fucking insane.
"Oh, right, the transfer papers!" I pull a stack of papers from my bag that I'm always dragging around with me. "Here! I'm leaving now!"
"Fine. Just don't get caught in my traps." He waves his hand and the doors open. The hell did he just do?
…
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm trying to get out of this death maze…and I'm being chased by ghosts! Hey Mr. Third seat! Any ideas? These damn transparent people won't leave me alone!
"I would suggest taking the next left, go straight until you hit the back wall, turn right, the door will be in front of you. And next time, avoid the lieutenant, his Shikai has a habit of haunting people."
YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN MY HEAD THIS ENTIRE TIME!? WAIT WHAT? HAUNTING PEOPLE!? I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM!
"Pretty much, I can read your thoughts as long as I can see you. And there's a reason you can't see us, I'm sure if you asked Captain, he'd explain it."
THEN WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Honestly…There it is!
I burst through the door and slam it, only for an explosion and some gas to seep from under it. Fuck this place.
"Hey, you still having trouble with his traps?" Captain Kuchiki…what are you doing here?
"I expect you to treat me after that." I move away from the door, as the gas isn't fading.
"Fine, fine, so…how did he seem? Did he look sad, or…?" Why the hell do you want to know?
She starts walking away and I follow her, suddenly she ducks. What? HOLY SHIT!
"Honestly, these stupid arrows…" She kept walking, I'm standing here staring at the arrow in the tree dripping with some black liquid. The fuck…is he actually trying to kill her?
"Uh, he looked a bit depressed, not as psychotic as he normally is, why?"
"Well, I assume you've seen the wall of names?"
"Yeah, they're his friends, right? They're all dead except you and Captain Abarai."
"How did you know that?" She speaks as she effortlessly dodges a few darts. They aren't targeting me. Weird.
"Just a guess."
"Yeah, well tomorrow is the day his best friend died. She wasn't killed or anything, he's had that wall like that for about a hundred years now…I still feel bad for him, he had to leave his friends and stood by as they aged and eventually died off. Now only me and Renji remain as his closest friends. But enough about his weird rituals, let's go, there's something I want you to do." Damn. Why can't I be lazy like her?
"Anything…just get me away from these barracks…irrational fear, my ass. His barracks are actively trying to kill me!" I shout as she starts sprinting, I struggle to catch her and then she slows down…the fuck was that speed for?
"Hmm, this should be good. Sana-san, I want you to go find Rangiku and bring her here."
"Why do you want me to bring her near this death trap?"
"Because she's his wife?"
"HE'S MARRIED WHY WOULD ANYONE DATE THAT PSYCHO IN THE FIRST PLACE, LET ALONE MARRY HIM! EVEN YOU DID FOR A FEW YEARS! Did the temperature just…Sorry Captain! I will get her at once!" I can see flames in the Ice Queen's eyes, I flash step my way to the squad ten barracks and go inside. It's so friendly in here.
"MATSUMOTO!" Really, I'm not here for ten seconds and I already here her getting in trouble? I follow the yelling to the source of the problem, his office. The door is open so I just go in.
"Oh, Sana-chan! What do you need?" she jumped off the couch and ran up to me, eager for an excuse to get away from her slave driver of a captain.
"Captain Kuchiki wants you to report to the fourteenth squad barracks."
"Oh, what does she need now, she knows I'm busy, all this paperwork and whatnot, his barracks are…" she trails off as she leaves the office. I turn to her captain.
"I'm sorry for this, my captain wants her, something about cheering up Captain Kurosaki." I sigh and turn.
"Oh, must be that time of the year. I never met her, but I heard they were pretty close. Oh well, make sure you tell my lieutenant that if she skips the squad meeting again, she's in for hell." I chuckle and turn back.
"Just blindfold her and send her into his barracks, I nearly died fifteen times within ten minutes." I leave his office to find her standing about ten feet off to the side, waiting for me. We silently leave together.
"His barracks are getting harder for you, huh? I married him and still can't do it easily." We start flash stepping back to where my captain was. When we arrive I see her dodging another arrow. God, his barracks are dangerous. We're not even close to it.
"Hey Rangiku, go cheer up your husband, that day is tomorrow. Sana-san come with me." Crack a whip why don't you?
"Yes, Captain. So what are you having me do now…?" please nothing involving poison…
"I want you to socialize with the squad, I think it's time you learn to be friendly with them, you've been lieutenant for seven years now. And you're still in that shell of yours." Oh that's funny, bring up my Shikai as a metaphor. My Shikai turns my zanpakuto into a conch-shell spear over my arm. I can make bubbles with it, that's about all I know. Umiyu is very difficult to understand considering she always talks into a fucking bubble. Dumb mermaid bitch.
"Do I have to, I'm content with sitting alone in a corner documenting my every thought and move like a documentary about me in short little bursts."
"The hell are you talking about?" I'll let her figure that one out, after all, she is a character in my story.
"Nothing captain, I just like to be alone is all. Ignore me as I mentally narrate myself." And then I started making my way back to our barracks. Quickly being outran by her.
"Honestly Sana-san, you need to me more social, the squad is worried, well not really, they couldn't give two shits, but I do, so go be friendly." I hate you sometimes.
"Yes, captain." I'll just go silently resent you over there…
…
"Oh, Lieutenant Shiragesa, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Moruchi Uko, third seat, I don't hate him, but his fucking laid back attitude is infuriating, he's like a young Kyoraku.
"Nice comparison." That voice. The squad fourteen third seat.
YOU AGAIN, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Wait…you said it only works when you can see me…where the hell are you!?
"That's a secret." He replies to me. Asshole.
"Nothing I just want to get to know the squad, and you happened to be the first I found."
"Oh, okay, well, I always notice you're alone, are you okay?" What is he trying to do…? No I must be friendly.
"I prefer to be alone usually, Captain wants me to be friendly."
"Well, do you want to be alone together, I prefer being alone too, lets me think." He's like me. Huh. At least he isn't bad looking…The hell, no get out of my head stupid thoughts! I guess I would like him to be my friend if anyone.
"Yeah, sounds fun. You know what, call me Sana.
"Okay, Sana-san." Again with honorifics. I don't like those. Hmm, his name isn't exactly conversation-friendly…
"Moru, want to go drinking? Captain's treat." Oh, yes Captain, you will pay for your order.
"Oh sure, sounds fun!" he smirks and gets up from the floor. He was sleeping in the corner of an empty room, I happened to see him as he woke up.
"Can I come?" Hmm? Captain Kotetsu? What is she doing here?
"Oh…uh, sure, if you want to. I didn't know you drink." I turn to her and greet her with a smile, but it must have been something that wasn't a smile, she avoided eye contact and stuttered.
"I-I would like to, yes…" A bit timid to be a captain…how exactly did she get this position?
…
"Ah…that was." Ah. Words.
"That was what you drunk idiot?"
"H-hey you t…two, don't f…" Cap…kot-etsu fell off her ch-chair.
"Ahahhahahaha" I…Oh Moru is…sleep.
"Really, you three are this drunk?" Oh Capta…
"Cap, whater you doin here!?" Oh words not working.
…
Ow…my head…what did I do last night…Oh right…I made a friend, but…where am I?
"Oh you're finally awake, sana-san."
"Captain…where am I…?" I don't recognize this room, oh my head…
"My quarters, you drunk yourself out last night with Moruchi Uko, it looks like you two will be good friends. Also Isane was there, not sure why." Oh captain…why do you make me make friends.
"Oh…why am I in here instead of mine?"
"Hell if I know, I woke up and you were there."
I'm in her bed! What the hell?
"Oh, well…good morning then…is there anything you want me to do?"
"I want you and Moruchi Uko to be better friends, I saw you were having fun with him."
"Yes…captain."
I get up and leave her quarters, she slams the door behind me, is she mad at me?
"Oh hey Sana-san." Moru, what the hell are you doing here?
"Oh, Moru. Hi, you want to go do something if the captain isn't making us do anything?" I'm dumb, that sounded like a date request, I don't like him like that, he's a friend. A friend.
"I guess. Oh, good morning Captain Kurosaki." WHAT!? I'll turn around and it will be a joke…No. why is he behind me…and he is smiling? Didn't Captain say that his friend died today?
"Sana, why are you shivering?" Ah don't talk to me you demon. Moru…? He put his hand on my back…why? WHY IS HE RUBBING MY BACK!? Hmph.
"Sorry Captain Kurosaki, she's a bit sick, I was just going to take her to the fourth's barracks to see what she has. Don't mind her, the captain is in her quarters." He's pushing me…stop. Stop. I will end you. "Sorry for lying there, I know about your fear of him." Oh…thank you.
"Oh, thank you, hey I'm sorry if my question earlier sounded like a date request…I just want a friend, I don't need a boyfriend."
"Oh, okay, I was worried for a second that I would have to shoot you down." Don't laugh at me! Ugh! This is why I like being alone…
"Good, I'm glad you understand, so want to go for a walk? Sit in the garden?"
"How about a trip to Hueco Mundo? We didn't establish an alliance with those Arrancar for nothing."
"But…Captain Kurosaki is usually there…" He does his training alone there so he doesn't kill anyone.
"He's talking to our captain. Come on. Let's go Captain Kurotsuchi, She'll let us go."
"Nemu Kurotsuchi is worse than Ichigo Kurosaki! EH WHEN DID WE GET HERE!?" We're standing outside her barracks.
"Her barracks are like five minutes away if you walk, we flash stepped, I guess you were too busy arguing to notice." Please…don't make me talk with her. WHY DO YOU KNOCK?
…
"Fucking deserts." I hate Hueco Mundo, however the rebuilt Las Noches is nice.
"Oh come on, it isn't that bad, there are no stray hollow around Las Noches, so let's go there." Why did I choose the care free one…
"Fine…let's go. Race you!" I speed off, leaving him in my literal dust. Of course I beat him, he isn't known for his speed.
"Wow, you're too fast." He's out of breath. HA.
"Well, lets get inside, this damn desert sucks."
"Sorry if my home is not hospitable to you." WHY OF ALL FUCKING LOGIC DO WE RUN INTO HER!?
"Oh, Harribel-san, ignore what my lieutenant says, she's a bit of a closed shell." AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING SHELL THING.
"Ichigo didn't tell me he got new recruits for me. Who are you…wait, you aren't his lieutenant." She bends over, looking me in the eye, it's like looking into death, I can't move my mouth…I can't move my legs…WHY!?
"Oh, no, we're from Squad thirteen, I understand this is where most of his squad is stationed, but we are just here out of boredom. Our captain doesn't have anything for us to do." THIS IS WHERE THEY ARE WHY?
"Because we prefer the company of hollows."
YOU AGAIN.
"Well, naturally, I'm the only one who can do this. And we only have three members with the captain at any given time, most of us are here. The lieutenant however, only leaves the barracks for officer meetings."
Gee aren't you a bucket of knowledge.
"Naturally."
"Hey, Sana-san, are you awake you seem frustarated at that wall." Oh, wow.
STOP BOTHERING ME!
"I was just lost in thought!" I start scratching the back of my head.
…
"I'm with Nelliel if you want to meet me, and yes, I lied about having to be able to see you, as long as I can sense you, I can speak with you. Come find us in the library."
GET OUT OF MY HEAD. But okay.
"Hey, Moru."
"Yeah?" He was lounging on a balcony looking out at the fake sun.
"I'm heading to the library, I want to go find something."
"Roger."
"See you later."
…
"Hey, are you lost?"
No I was on the other side of Las Noches, I'm almost there.
"Well Nelliel wants to meet you, she said she wants to be your friend too."
Okay…I've never met her before…and I'm here.
"Over here!" I hear him shouting from the right, and then I hear a small girl laughing, is that Nelliel?
"Coming." I slowly make my way over and…HE'S HOT. Spiky black hair, green eyes, smile of the gods! *Swoon*
"Are you okay? You look red?" Don't get up…don't come closer…no stop…his hand is on my forehead. "Wow, you're hot." And boom goes the dynamite. "I'm flattered."
"STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!" I storm past him and sit next to a woman with green hair.
"Is this Nelliel?" I point to the smiling woman beside me.
"Mhm. Nelliel Tu Oderschvank."
"Call me Nel! Okay, Sana-chan?"
I'm making friends…I'm making friends. I'm making friends!
"Is that really such a big deal?"
Out.
"So, what brings you to Hueco Mundo?" Like you don't already know…
"Me and Moru were bored so we came here."
"Oh, how is Ichigo doing!?" Nel grabs me and starts shaking me.
"He's scary as hell, don't make me remember how he is doing."
"She has an irrational fear of him for some reason."
"That's not fair, can't I have private thoughts?" I am going to throw a book at him.
"No, and you won't hit me with said book." I just won't ever think again…
"That won't work, you yourself said you narrate your life."
"So, Nel, how did you meet this fuckhead?"
"That's not nice." Get…
OUT.
"Oh, we were put on one of the Vasto Lorde kill squads, and he kept poking into my head, it's such a cool ability!" her voice does not suit her body at all.
"Well, I'm sure you have more important business to attend to, it's Monday after all, shouldn't you go get ready to go sleep around?"
HOW DID YOU KNOW I DO THAT? And why should I explain my hobbies to you! It's my body!
"But we share a mind until I release you."
Asshole.
"That's a new one, are you trying that later?" Oh you will die by my hands.
"Well, I need to go, It was nice to meet you Nel, and not nice to meet you, fuckhead." I storm off.
"Don't worry, I'll release you until the morning, I don't need to know your smut filled thoughts."
Oh fuck it whatever, I'm a whore, okay? I like the feeling. Nothing more. But that comment about me trying anal…that wasn't cool man.
And you aren't there.
…
"Moru…EH!?" I open the door to see Apacci riding him like a horse.
"Ah… Sana-san. I…uh" Nope. I don't need to see you fucking Apacci. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. That's a whole lot of nope.
I start flash stepping my way back to the area where the garganta is and I run through, fuck this place. Sand where I don't need it. Friends fucking hollows. Sand. Sand. Sand. Fucking sand.
Finally I'm back. YOU. WHY. Why do I keep running into him?
"Captain Kurosaki, you may proceed, oh, Lieutenant Shiragesa, your captain was looking for you, she seemed mad." EH!?
"Thank you! Science-san!" I don't know that guy's name…I start running back and once I get outside I- WHO THE HELL…Captain!
"There you are…Sana-chan…" What is she planning, she only calls me that when I'm being punished…what did I do!?
"Oh…C-captain…hello."
"Where is Moruchi Uko?"
"He's fucking Apacci's brains out." At least I'm not lying.
"Huh, that slut, always sleeping with my seated officers." EH, WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO HER!?
"I guess she is."
"You're one to talk." I…quickly turn away from her.
"…whatever. So what's the punishment…"
"Anal." OH GREAT THIS GUY.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
"Train the squad tomorrow." That doesn't sound too bad. "Not our squad though…fourteen. They're all returning tomorrow at my request." I hate you so much.
"What did I do to deserve that!?" Oh no…that guy will be there…no doubt he won't leave me alone…
"I'll let you figure that out, just make sure you can walk tomorrow morning, so don't screw Ichigo again, plus he's married." HUH!?
"I've never even s-"
"Oh yes you have, you couldn't walk right for a week, I even warned you how rough he was."
Someone please just kill me now…
