They were in trouble when they got back, that much they had known all along. But somehow it made the idea all the more appealing, and with a casual, uncaring attitude of 'to hell with it', they slunk off one afternoon with no intention of coming back until the sun had risen the next morning. As far as the three of them were concerned, they'd all been working hard for four months straight now with no days off and little free time. They needed this time to slow down, relax and reconnect with each other after nothing more than fifteen minute glimpses every so often.
"Was there much point bringing a tent?" Demyx asked in a whisper, smirking as he gazed at the campfire contently. Axel just grunted and slightly cuffed him around the ear, but otherwise was also quite happy. They'd pitched up a small campsite in a meadow far from anything else and after making sure it wouldn't spread and cause chaos, lit a small fire to keep them warm as the night drew closer. Axel and Demyx were laid on their stomachs facing the fire side by side, arms folded in front of them and heads resting on said arms. Roxas – who had been the last to finish his mission that day – had crashed out for the count on Axel's back, sleeping soundly like a cat that had found an electric blanket.
"Just sayin'. Seems Junior isn't about to move, and that leaves you stuck there. I'd feel bad taking the tent all for myself," Demyx mumbled on, sleepy and still smiling as he raised his front up a little to rest a cheek on a hand and look at Axel now.
"S'fine... I'm just hoping he doesn't drool: his mouth is on my neck."
The Nocturne chuckled and gazed back at the fire. "Think it's starting to die."
At once Axel gave a lazy sigh, feeding the fire his breath. It shook a little then resumed burning happily. To help, Demyx lifted a nearby twig and prodded the firewood hiding in the flames. A cosy crackle came up for a few seconds, somehow further ensnaring them in a spell of near-dozing. They fell into silence; comfortable and homely silence.
"This kid's breath tickles so. Damn. Bad."
"Don't laugh, it'll wake him."
Axel whined and nuzzled his head into his arms a little, trying to escape Roxas' accidental tickling, and succeeding a little. Demyx watched, smiling. "He looks so warm and comfortable. Maybe I should start using you as a pillow."
"'m not a teddy bear."
"... you have no idea how much of an urge I just had to snuggle you in teasing just now. But heh, don't want to wake the little guy up."
"Gay."
"Says the guy currently being topped by Roxas. In his sleep."
Both men broke into quiet laughs, too tired to care if it wasn't funny or not. A moth had discovered the fire and was haphazardly dancing with it. Axel watched it then gently nudged his head to the side. Obeying, the fire followed and captured the insect, frazzling it in midflight and sending it dropping dead and smouldering in the dirt. Demyx tutted. "Don't like them," Axel muttered before yawning lengthily.
"I like them better than butterflies."
"Try liking them when riding a motorcycle at night."
"You can ride a bike?"
A slow nod. "Not legally," a cheeky mumble admitted as an afterthought. Demyx gave a small grunt as if he had expected such an answer and gave a delayed imitation of Axel's earlier yawn. "Was when I was younger. Took this girl for a ride. No helmet. No scarf. Nothing. Was spitting insects for the rest of the date. S'fair to say I didn't get laid that night."
"You don't say?"
"Turns out she had gonorrhea anyway, so no real loss on my part."
"... wow. Yeaaah, that was kind of... too much information."
Axel just shrugged tiredly, eyes drooping. After a while of quiet pause, he yawned then asked, "so you seriously never had a girlfriend in school?"
"Yeah..."
"Not even a fuck buddy?"
"Axel."
"But man, you're like, the son of a celebrity: you imust/i have had girls crawling all over you."
Demyx sighed and rolled his head onto the crook of his elbow. "I guess I did... but none of the girls I wanted to have a relationship with. They were all the nasty girls, the bullies. They wore too much makeup, dressed like whores, had all the same hair, the same voices, the same kind of laugh. I didn't like them. Might be why I don't get along with Larxene: she's such a bully who thinks she's sex on legs."
Axel actually chuckled. "She told me she doesn't like you because you are too 'nice' and spineless."
"Why am I not surprised?"
Another laugh from the redhead, but he instantly quietened down again when Roxas whined in his sleep and clung on like a baby koala. Demyx reached over to stroke the boy's hair, and at once soothed, he was in blissful slumber once more. Still stroking, Demyx sighed then whispered – more to not disturb Roxas again – "believe me, I wanted a girlfriend at school, but I was too nervous to approach anyone I liked. Besides, I was worried those nasty girls would get jealous and bully any girl I paid attention to. I got by without, though, so it's not much of a big deal now. I'm okay being single right now. It just... doesn't ever cross my mind much anymore."
Axel nodded and grinned, eyes closing. "Sensible."
"And here I was expecting teasing."
"Nah, man. I get you. Sometimes you just need some air. Not saying it's fun to be alone all the time, I mean, s'why we're even here tonight. But having someone on your back the whole time – stop laughing – having someone on your back the whole time, pawing at you for attention and expecting you to spare every moment of free time with them is just... not ideal."
Demyx let his smile and his hand drop, resting on his side facing Axel now. "Well... to be honest, I think I'd enjoy that... knowing someone wanted me with them, wanted me to spoil them and take care of them. It sounds... wonderful to me. But it's not like I'm lonely right now without someone in my life like that. I mean, I've got you guys, and Xigbar's pretty awesome too. I can play my sitar whenever, I have a good outlook, healthy appetite, decent sleeping patterns and I've got a better physique than most guys my age. I'm doing pretty well right now, and I'm fine not adding something else to the equation right now, even if it'd make my life even better."
Another nod from Axel. "So long as you're happy, bro."
Another silence. Another little moth turned up. This time Axel spared it and just watched it flutter in panic, hypnotised by the flames. He watched it carefully for what seemed like hours, then wondered why Demyx had been so quiet. Glancing only his eyes over to the side, he smirked: the Nocturne was sleeping peacefully, his fringe in his eyes making his eyelashes give vain little twitches to fend off the hair.
"Night," Axel mumbled in amusement, letting the fire die to a safe amount to be left unattended, before deciding sleep sounded really good right now. He pushed his face into his folded arms and got comfortable. Before he slipped into sleep, he warmed up his body for the other two so they wouldn't get chills in the night.
When Roxas finally woke up, it was still dark. The fire was in its last dying embers but the moonlight above helped illuminate the area. Demyx was curled up right against Axel, who also appeared completely asleep. Blinking sluggishly, Roxas soon deduced he must have been woken up by Demyx nuzzling his head between theirs, resting it now on Axel's shoulder blade, scalp to scalp with Roxas. The teenager yawned and settled down again, repositioning himself to make room for the new addition to the heap of sleepy bodies. Evidently he hadn't done it gently enough, as Demyx gave a stiff breath then rolled a little, murmuring Roxas' name in question as his glassy teal eyes slipped open momentarily.
"Sorry... did I wake you?"
Demyx squinted as if pained, thinking about his answer as if it was a genuine effort. Another stiff breath. "Think... yeah... s'okay..." The Nocturne seemed to be sincere, smiling briefly as his eyes closed again. "You sleep okay?"
"Mm."
"Good. Slept all evening."
"Did I?" They both sounded as dead beat as each other, as if only just grasping consciousness. Roxas yawned again. Demyx nodded, then grinned. "Probably given Axel broken back."
"You're not much better."
"Mmh. He's iwarm/i, shup."
"You're warm too," Roxas admitted, moving closer to rest his head on Demyx's side and at once receiving a loose cuddle.
"You can't still be sleepy: kid, you've been out all evening."
"Not so sleepy no more. Just comfortable. I think I needed this. S'nice being with you two again."
"Tell m'bout it. Work is such a damn chore. I've got bruises on the soles of m'feet from running around so much. Next opportunity I get, 'm booking a massage somewhere."
"Don't tell Axel, but I got a scratch on my leg today and it's starting to hurt again now."
Demyx opened his eyes again, tiredly concerned. "You shouldn't hide injuries, Roxas..."
"I didn't want to miss this evening. We'd been planning this all week. S'only a scratch."
"Roxas, your 'only a scratch'es tend to become 'crap, that's bad's. Remember that 'scratch' on your chest that got infected?"
"But this one is just a scratch. Honest. A Shadow swiped me from behind when I was on mission. That's all."
"Roxas..." A sigh. Demyx lifted his arm and flicked Roxas' head gently. "... idiot. Want me to take a look?"
A shaken head, though the way Roxas was laying, it was more a roll from side to side. Regardless Demyx put a hand on the boy's head and mumbled a cure spell, a brief green aura glowing in the night before it died into dim blue moonlight once more.
"Thanks."
"Welcome. Now stop getting hurt on missions. You make us worry."
"Sorry. I just can't seem to help it."
Demyx sighed, knowing they all got hurt during missions every so often, it wasn't like Roxas went looking for those injuries. "... you know, these past four months of missions could have seriously wounded us – any of us – at any second."
"You broke your ankle, remember?"
"Well, yeah, but... but my point is I've just realised how fragile we are. Axel would laugh at me if he heard me saying this, but this evening is the first time I've felt safe in too long. Every night, I've been going to sleep wondering if the mission tomorrow is going to go horribly wrong and I'll never see you guys again, or if your mission will go wrong and vice versa. I've just felt so unprepared and so not ready to put myself in those situations, but I've had to else I'd get punished. I dunno, maybe I am spineless."
Roxas listened to all this then rubbed Demyx's back. "Well I can feel a spine."
"... at this point I'm not sure if you misunderstood the term 'spineless' or you're trying to cheer me up."
"..." Roxas' awkward grin said it was both, though more the former. The hopelessly innocent expression made Demyx at least manage a smile and he lightly cuffed the boy's head. "Learn something new everyday, huh, bro?"
"Heh, yeah."
The two blonds shared a quiet chuckle and settled down to rest again, hugging with Axel as their pillow.
"Demyx?"
"Mm?"
"... I... get what you mean. When you say you worry about the missions. Every Heartless kind of... scares me. Especially on solo missions. But because I have the keyblade, Xemnas keeps making me go fight them. And... I just want it to stop a while. I keep dreaming they're chasing me, and I'm only just fast enough to get away. I'd like missions to just go away for a little while, and to do something fun. With you two."
Demyx rested his chin on Roax's head, closing his eyes. "Kid like you should be free to have fun and live his life. It's not fair. I don't like thinking of any of us not coming back from a mission, but you... that would really upset me. You didn't ask for this. Well, none of us did, but still. I've never had a younger brother, so you're special to me."
He paused to sigh, then smiled gently. "... listen to us. Axel would be making fun of us so bad if he was awake."
"He'd say we were being silly," Roxas agreed glumly, closing his eyes again.
"Maybe he'd be right. Heh, come on, we're stupidly tired: it's messing with our heads. S'get some sleep so we're not tired tomorrow."
"Kay. Night Demyx."
"Night Roxas. Sweet dreams."
"You too..."
As they both curled up to sleep together, their 'pillow' was unmoving. But he had been awake to hear the whole exchange. Troubled green eyes gazed into the now dead fire, thinking hard on what had been said, and how he could possibly help.
In all honesty, he felt entirely the same. He just didn't know how to say it.
