It's funny how you can define life's leading moments as you live them. You can just tell, that you're going to remember this moment for as long as you live. It may even determine how you live. It's funny how, in moments like those, that you wish that it could last forever. Because you don't usually want to find out what lies ahead. You don't want things to change.
Because that's what those moments are. They happen at the end of a chapter of your life. And after that single moment has passed, nothing is the same. Nothing ever will be the same.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
Phil had traced this moment through in his mind at night. He'd planned exactly what to say, and what to do. And it always ended the same.
With his family deciding not to leave at the last minute.
But this was the last minute. This was the last of the last minutes. And so far, nothing was being re-thought.
Keely had also hoped that they'd never go through with it. But, a part of her had always known that they'd have to. 2006 wasn't their home. Just like 2121 wasn't hers.
When the wedding ring had been revealed on the Giggle, Keely had had an inkling of hope. But that inkling had receded to a flicker, and now the flame was being extinguished.
Turns out, dreams aren't reality. There's a fine line between them, but get them mixed up, and you're in for heartbreak.
Both Keely and Phil had gotten them mixed up.
You can guess what was coming next.
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
They didn't need anyone. They never had, and never would. Because, in Keely's mind, she and Phil had each other. And that was more than enough.
They had people, sure. They had people who talked to them, and laughed with them. But they didn't need them.
Her mother had told her that no matter what, she'd always be there for her. And she appreciated that. She really did. But there would be no need. Because she could tell Phil anything, and he'd help her through it, and sort it out. Her mom came second to Phil, and a part of Keely knew that her mom knew. She didn't seem to mind though. Or she'd never mentioned minding.
They didn't need anyone.
If I lie here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
If only life were that easy. If only, people appreciated the fact that when you had something that felt real, you needed to stick with it. When you had something that you would never find again, you needed to hold onto it. But Keely couldn't hold on. Not when the thing you needed to hold onto was one hundred years into the future.
But, in this defining moment, all Phil and Keely wanted to do was forget. Forgetting the world seemed easier.
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Phil didn't know what to say. Each second felt like a century. And maybe it would have been better if it was. One second would take him back to where he was born, but it would also take Keely with him. It would mean this whole situation would be avoided. He wouldn't have to go through this hurt.
He wanted to be able to tell her how he really felt about her. But what was that? What did he actually feel about her?
He was pretty sure that he liked her as more than a friend. In fact, he was almost certain that he loved her.
But he didn't know what to say. He didn't think he could say anything.
Should he say that he loved her, and risk breaking her heart, because they both knew that they would never be together?
Or should he keep quiet, and risk breaking her heart, because she wanted him to say so?
Those three words
I've said too much
But not enough
Seconds passed.
Keely tried to think how long they had been standing there. It had to have been less than a minute. Twenty seconds. But it felt like so much more.
She wanted it to be so much more.
"I'll never see you again, will I?" Keely whispered, breaking the silence.
Phil hung his head. He didn't want to finalise things. Finalising meant that he had to admit that this was really happening.
"You want one last game of tennis?" Keely smiled weakly, trying to wipe the bleakness away from this moment.
"Keely, Keely, Keely," Phil shook his head, also smiling. The taste of her name in his mouth made him regret not saying it more. In the future, he would rarely get the chance to say that name.
"Don't you triple Keely me..." Keely murmured, and then silence resumed.
If I lie here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Keely was unaware of anything that was happening around them. She was unaware of Lloyd packing away the time machine. She didn't notice Pim saying goodbye to Little Danny. She didn't see Barb, watching them, tears in her eyes.
She'd forgotten everything that she'd done at school. Forgotten her future, her past, even her name. All she could think about was Phil.
Via told her she thought about Phil too much. Maybe she didn't think about Phil enough.
But it was too late o go back.
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All their lives both Phil and Keely had been told, that when you cared about something, you should stand up for what you believe in. What you want.
You don't get anything by lying down and letting it wash over you.
But now, they were being told to forget everything that they had been taught. They were being told that they shouldn't be feeling like this.
But they did.
And there's not much you can do about feelings.
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
Phil knew that it wasn't long until he'd have to let go. But, the longer that they took, the more chance he had of changing his parent's minds.
Hopefully they would change their minds soon. He needed to know that this wasn't happening.
Because the more time that was wasted the more chance he had of telling Keely how he actually felt. And he knew that he had to do it. It was just the courage that he had to gain.
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
Barb watched her son and his best friend, just watching each other. It almost broke her heart. No words exchanged, but the watching was just as intimate.
Sometimes words weren't necessary.
The girl that she had grown to love was keeping it together better than her. Keely Teslow was managing to keep the tears back, but she wasn't.
She was glad of that. She needed someone to remind her that she was the adult. She was the one that needed to set an example.
If I lie here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
"Well..." Pim twisted her hands together. She'd never thought that this would be this hard. Leaving this century to go back to hers.
She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She was supposed to be jumping onto that time machine, and whooping with joy. But she wasn't.
"Pim, do you have to leave?" Danny sighed. He'd been let in on the secret, when he accidentally walked in on Pim using the Wizrd. But a part of him still didn't believe it. Admitting it was true, meant that she had to leave forever, and he didn't want that.
He looked over at Phil and Keely, and knew that they were having it tougher than he was.
He didn't even want to imagine how that felt.
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Keely sighed, trapped in a moment. Why was this happening? Why were they being forced to live like this? Before it had always been waking up everyday not knowing if he was going to be there. Now it was knowing that he definitely wasn't going to be there. He was going to be one hundred year away.
All her life she had been told that fate played a hand in her life. But she didn't want fate to play with her life anymore. She wanted to be able to have total control. She wanted to be able to decide what was going to happen to her, so that she could have the best life as she got older.
You would think that you had control over your own life. But you don't. Not when other people have control of theirs.
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
Phil didn't want to blink. He just wanted to stay locked in Keely's eyes, forever. Forever wasn't an awful long time.
All that he was, was right here. He'd never be more than this. When he came here, he'd been a little arrogant. He'd insisted that he had to get out of this century, and fast. And when he touched down in 2121, he knew that people would expect that slightly obnoxious kid to be back. But he wouldn't be. He never wanted to be that kid again.
All he could see, was Keely. He didn't notice anything around him, and frankly he didn't want to know. Seeing what was happening around him meant taking his eyes off Keely for a second. And it also meant that he'd have to go back to reality. He'd have to admit that this was still happening, and that he hadn't woken up yet.
He wanted to say something, and knew that time was rapidly running out.
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
Even if he did stay, Keely thought, as she gazed upon the hazel eyes that she had grown to love. Even if he did stay things would still be the same. Lloyd and Barb could decide at any time to uproot and leave. They'd still be living, never knowing. And she doubted that she could live like that anymore.
That said, she didn't want him to leave. She wanted him to stay, and have him never have to worry about leaving again. And not just for her. Because she could see that this was tearing him apart as well.
And suddenly, the tears came.
"Come on guys," Lloyd stuck his head out of the time machine.
Phil turned to his dad, tearing his eyes away from Keely's for the first time. It occurred to him that whilst it had felt like a century, he'd been with her for only a few minutes.
He looked around, and for the first time, saw Pim hugging Little Danny. Usually he would have been surprised, but despair washed out every other emotion. He watched his mother wipe away a tear rolling down her cheek. If everyone were this miserable, why didn't they just forget the whole thing.
Then he turned back to Keely, who was fighting to keep control of herself.
"Keely..." he began, but trailed off, knowing that sometimes words get in the way. He'd just say something to ruin everything. Something stupid, like "I love you".
"Don't," she whispered, putting a finger up to his mouth. "I want to remember you exactly as you are, and not what you say."
He didn't even take a moment to analyse what she'd said. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," Keely whispered, not able to revive her voice.
Phil hesitated a moment, not sure what to do, but then pulled her into a hug.
She felt cold, instead of her usual warmth.
She felt tense, instead of her usual relaxed.
She was sad, instead of bouncy.
This wasn't his Keely. He wanted his Keely back. To remember her by her actual nature, and not what this was.
"Keels..."
Barb walked over, crunching the crisp grass under her feet. "Kids, we really need to be going."
"But mom..." Phil began, aware that he hadn't told her how he felt. He hadn't told her yet.
Barb shook her head. "Don't make this harder than it has to be Phil."
"You have to go," Keely murmured. As much as she hated saying the words, she had to say them. He had to leave. And she didn't want to stand in his way. If this was what he wanted. She didn't know what he wanted.
Phil took one last glance at Keely, before he was bundled into the time machine.
A silent tear rolled down her face.
She wanted to look away. She didn't want to watch him leave her, but she knew that she'd regret it forever if she didn't.
So she forced herself to keep looking.
And she was glad she did.
A finger came up to the window, which was spattered with dirt, to stop anyone peering in and seeing the flux-a-ma-bob.
Slowly it traced three words.
I LOVE YOU.
Well, actually, it was backwards, so it looked more like:
UOY EVOE I
Keely felt her heart soar, and suddenly, she saw Phil's face peering out of a streak. She nodded to show that she got the message, and then put her hand over her heart. She hoped he knew what that meant.
He did.
One last smile was exchanged, and then, they were parted. Separated forever. But both had the satisfaction of knowing the whole truth before they went. Even if the way in finding out was a little unorthodox.
But, Keely reckoned, as she began to walk away from the Diffy household, nobody did unorthodox better than Phil.
If I lie here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
One single moment changed both Phil and Keely's life forever. The smallest things change so much about your whole life, and while you think you have complete control over your life, you don't. Other people in your life make their own choices too, and in doing so, change your life. And there are just some things that you have no control over.
That scares people. That we have no say in where we will inevitably end up.
But it didn't scare Keely. Not anymore. Nor did it scare Phil.
After getting through that, they figured they could get through anything.
Defining moments define. That's their job. It always will be. To define and conquer.
I love this. So much.
Oh my gosh, I'm trying SO hard to write Revenge, but right now my mind is blank for that story. So, I may start another story, finish that, and then come back to Revenge. If people don't mind. If people do mind, then I'll try to write more, but it may take longer.
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol.
