Chapter I
Marriage, thought Melanie, is forever.
She pondered the thought. Rolled it over in her mind like a gumdrop candy. Forever was a long time. No, a very long time, she finally decided. Forever is the longest time you can think of, plus one day. Melanie tried to wrap her thoughts around forever, but just couldn't seem to pull it into focus. Yes, forever is a very very long time.
And tomorrow she would be starting on forever. Tomorrow her engagement was to be announced. She was going to marry Ashley Wilkes. Lovely, funny, romantic Ashley, who all the girls adored. Her cousin, her almost brother. Sweet, dear Ashley, who read poetry and quoted Plato.Yes, everyone was happy for her. Everyone except for Melanie.
She should have been happy. Everyone told her how wonderful it was. But she wasn't. Every time she tried to think about forever with Ashley, she felt she would cry until she flooded all of Georgia. Until she flooded the whole of the South, washing away everything that her life revolved around.
Marriage, she thought again, is forever.
Forever. Forever and ever and ever. With Ashley. Ashley who read poetry but couldn't feel it. Ashley who touched her with cold hands, who looked at her with eyes that bore no fire. Ashley, who lived his life like a paper cut out. A paper chain had more life that Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley....!
Melanie wanted to hot fire of love. She wanted to feel the feelings Shakespeare wrote about, to live a life of passion. She wanted to live a life of fire.
But there was duty. And Ashley was duty.
She laughed, thinking of the school house talk not fit for a lady. Doody, she thought. Yes, Ashley was doody...
A knock on her door pulled her from he silliness and back into a world she was trapped in.
"Yes, it's unlocked. Please, come in." Melanie's voice was smooth and soft, like watered silk or mid-morning rose petals. Nothing of her sorrow showed.
The door swung open and Charles walked into the room. He smiled. Such a simple smile, Melanie thought, not a care in the world. Oh lucky, lucky Charlie!
"You look so happy, Melly!" Charles sat haphazardly on the bed beside her, almost a boyish flop. "I hate to bother you, but there is a visitor downstairs. A Mister Rhett Butler, come to wish you and Ashley luck for tomorrow."
You and Ashley... The words stuck like summer mud. Melanie shook the thought out of her head, drawing an odd look from her brother. "Well, in that case I will pull myself away from happy thoughts and joined you down in the parlor. Do escort me, Charlie?"
Charles stood, sweeping his arm in a low bow before gently taking Melly's hand. "It would me my pleasure, sweetest sister mine."
She smiled. Charlie always practiced being the charming southern gentleman, but could never seem to get the right words outside of the family. One day, with the right girl... Melanie smiled now, a true smile that lit up her face and the entire room. "Shall we?"
They stepped out of the room together, brother and sister.
Chapter II
There is no woman's sides; Can bide the beating of so strong a passion. Melanie's thoughts spoke with the words of Shakespeare. Her heart beat wildly, not for the man but for the words he spoke. Rhett Butler, scoundrel, vagabond, gambler... such fire burning in each word! Melly longed for the life he lived, the excitement of escape boiled in her blood.
She sat beside Ashley, his large hands tucked between her small ones, leaning forward as if to catch every word that ushered from Rhett's mouth, trying to capture each fragment of delicious story. Those around her rightly read her pale, breathless composer, but mistakenly placed the upcoming engagement to blame.
Rhett leaned back into the plush sofa he sat on, smiling a tiny smile, enough to give a hint at the brilliant white teeth lurking beneath. Why, he looks just like the Cheshire Cat, Melanie pondered. He shifted his weight and spoke. "It seems I have talked most the night away."
No, no, please talk it all away, and tomorrow and all the tomorrow's after...
"Yes, I fear the evening has quite slipped away." Ashley agreed, a slight shifting of his hands drawing Melanie to the present. "And with such excitement tomorrow..."
He smiled at Melanie. She smiled back. "Yes, Ashley. Of course. Charles, do please escort me upstairs?"
Charles stood, a clumsy lanky boy now, with none of the grace from before. He took her elbow and led her to the stairs. They ascended silently, only candle lit shadows for company. At the door to her room, Melanie stepped inside, only to turn quickly back to her brother. She pulled him into a tight embrace, delicate fingers threatening the more delicate embroidery on his shirt. She buried her face onto the folds of linen, nestled her face onto his shoulder. "Oh, Charles!"
How she wished she could tell him! To lay her troubles down before him, as she had when they were children. His hand patted her back comfortingly, a puzzled look over his face. He never had understood women, not even his sister. "There, there, Melly. Don't worry about tomorrow, everything will be perfect, you'll see."
"Yes... yes, I know." Melanie pulled her feelings inside herself, pushing tears down. "I'm just... so happy, Charlie.... Goodnight."
He smiled, giving her shoulder one last pat. "There you go, Melly. Rest up, Sister."
He walked down the hall to the room where he was staying. Melly watched from behind her half closed down, capturing the memory of him. She knew what she had to do. Knew the price of freedom.
"Conceal me what I am..." Melanie whispered softly to herself. "Good bye, dear dear brother."
She shut the door.
Chapter III
"O, happy dagger!" Melanie touched her hands to the sharp letter opener. She picked it up lightly, watching the light of a single dim candle flicker across its blade. It was sharp, it would do. She raised the dagger to her neck, then drew it across her unbound hair. It pulled wickedly, bringing sharp tears to her eyes. If only I had brought my sewing basket... She thought to the tiny pair of gold scissors lying in the basket. She fiercely chopped at her remained hair. She knew this was only a little pain, there would be more to come. Melanie ran her fingers though her hair. It seemed so light now. She shook her head, sending the strands swaying from side to side. Yes, it would do. She slipped her chemise over her shoulders, letting it slid softly to the floor. It bellowed around her feet in silky waves, in the mirror was reflected the new born Venus. Melly took no delight in her beauty, in fact she saw none of it. She did smile though, for once glad of her flat-chest. She ran her hands down her waist and smiled again. Reaching over her bed, she pulled on a crisp white shirt. The fabric felt strange, the stiff linen cold against her warm body. She had no idea who it had belonged to, she had found it left behind in one of the other guest rooms. Melanie slid her legs into the long trousers, then pushed her feet into the boots. The boots belonged to Charles. She always brought an extra pair tucked away in her luggage; he was always so hard on his shoes, scuffing them up to no end. She pushed the thoughts of Charles away. But, oh, how I will miss him! She wrapped her arms around herself and pushed away tears. She comforted herself with thoughts of freedom, a pushing aside of the life carved out for her. She would live her life of fire, and damn to the rest of the world. Melanie sketched a brief note. Just two simple words: I can't. I seemed to sum up everything. With that, she slipped out the window, down through one of the beautiful trees, and silently dropped to the ground. The grass had a delight spring as her feet touched it. She made her way into the forest, slowly, slowly, each step taking her away from Melanie Hamilton, closer to... that she didn't know.
Marriage, thought Melanie, is forever.
She pondered the thought. Rolled it over in her mind like a gumdrop candy. Forever was a long time. No, a very long time, she finally decided. Forever is the longest time you can think of, plus one day. Melanie tried to wrap her thoughts around forever, but just couldn't seem to pull it into focus. Yes, forever is a very very long time.
And tomorrow she would be starting on forever. Tomorrow her engagement was to be announced. She was going to marry Ashley Wilkes. Lovely, funny, romantic Ashley, who all the girls adored. Her cousin, her almost brother. Sweet, dear Ashley, who read poetry and quoted Plato.Yes, everyone was happy for her. Everyone except for Melanie.
She should have been happy. Everyone told her how wonderful it was. But she wasn't. Every time she tried to think about forever with Ashley, she felt she would cry until she flooded all of Georgia. Until she flooded the whole of the South, washing away everything that her life revolved around.
Marriage, she thought again, is forever.
Forever. Forever and ever and ever. With Ashley. Ashley who read poetry but couldn't feel it. Ashley who touched her with cold hands, who looked at her with eyes that bore no fire. Ashley, who lived his life like a paper cut out. A paper chain had more life that Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley....!
Melanie wanted to hot fire of love. She wanted to feel the feelings Shakespeare wrote about, to live a life of passion. She wanted to live a life of fire.
But there was duty. And Ashley was duty.
She laughed, thinking of the school house talk not fit for a lady. Doody, she thought. Yes, Ashley was doody...
A knock on her door pulled her from he silliness and back into a world she was trapped in.
"Yes, it's unlocked. Please, come in." Melanie's voice was smooth and soft, like watered silk or mid-morning rose petals. Nothing of her sorrow showed.
The door swung open and Charles walked into the room. He smiled. Such a simple smile, Melanie thought, not a care in the world. Oh lucky, lucky Charlie!
"You look so happy, Melly!" Charles sat haphazardly on the bed beside her, almost a boyish flop. "I hate to bother you, but there is a visitor downstairs. A Mister Rhett Butler, come to wish you and Ashley luck for tomorrow."
You and Ashley... The words stuck like summer mud. Melanie shook the thought out of her head, drawing an odd look from her brother. "Well, in that case I will pull myself away from happy thoughts and joined you down in the parlor. Do escort me, Charlie?"
Charles stood, sweeping his arm in a low bow before gently taking Melly's hand. "It would me my pleasure, sweetest sister mine."
She smiled. Charlie always practiced being the charming southern gentleman, but could never seem to get the right words outside of the family. One day, with the right girl... Melanie smiled now, a true smile that lit up her face and the entire room. "Shall we?"
They stepped out of the room together, brother and sister.
Chapter II
There is no woman's sides; Can bide the beating of so strong a passion. Melanie's thoughts spoke with the words of Shakespeare. Her heart beat wildly, not for the man but for the words he spoke. Rhett Butler, scoundrel, vagabond, gambler... such fire burning in each word! Melly longed for the life he lived, the excitement of escape boiled in her blood.
She sat beside Ashley, his large hands tucked between her small ones, leaning forward as if to catch every word that ushered from Rhett's mouth, trying to capture each fragment of delicious story. Those around her rightly read her pale, breathless composer, but mistakenly placed the upcoming engagement to blame.
Rhett leaned back into the plush sofa he sat on, smiling a tiny smile, enough to give a hint at the brilliant white teeth lurking beneath. Why, he looks just like the Cheshire Cat, Melanie pondered. He shifted his weight and spoke. "It seems I have talked most the night away."
No, no, please talk it all away, and tomorrow and all the tomorrow's after...
"Yes, I fear the evening has quite slipped away." Ashley agreed, a slight shifting of his hands drawing Melanie to the present. "And with such excitement tomorrow..."
He smiled at Melanie. She smiled back. "Yes, Ashley. Of course. Charles, do please escort me upstairs?"
Charles stood, a clumsy lanky boy now, with none of the grace from before. He took her elbow and led her to the stairs. They ascended silently, only candle lit shadows for company. At the door to her room, Melanie stepped inside, only to turn quickly back to her brother. She pulled him into a tight embrace, delicate fingers threatening the more delicate embroidery on his shirt. She buried her face onto the folds of linen, nestled her face onto his shoulder. "Oh, Charles!"
How she wished she could tell him! To lay her troubles down before him, as she had when they were children. His hand patted her back comfortingly, a puzzled look over his face. He never had understood women, not even his sister. "There, there, Melly. Don't worry about tomorrow, everything will be perfect, you'll see."
"Yes... yes, I know." Melanie pulled her feelings inside herself, pushing tears down. "I'm just... so happy, Charlie.... Goodnight."
He smiled, giving her shoulder one last pat. "There you go, Melly. Rest up, Sister."
He walked down the hall to the room where he was staying. Melly watched from behind her half closed down, capturing the memory of him. She knew what she had to do. Knew the price of freedom.
"Conceal me what I am..." Melanie whispered softly to herself. "Good bye, dear dear brother."
She shut the door.
Chapter III
"O, happy dagger!" Melanie touched her hands to the sharp letter opener. She picked it up lightly, watching the light of a single dim candle flicker across its blade. It was sharp, it would do. She raised the dagger to her neck, then drew it across her unbound hair. It pulled wickedly, bringing sharp tears to her eyes. If only I had brought my sewing basket... She thought to the tiny pair of gold scissors lying in the basket. She fiercely chopped at her remained hair. She knew this was only a little pain, there would be more to come. Melanie ran her fingers though her hair. It seemed so light now. She shook her head, sending the strands swaying from side to side. Yes, it would do. She slipped her chemise over her shoulders, letting it slid softly to the floor. It bellowed around her feet in silky waves, in the mirror was reflected the new born Venus. Melly took no delight in her beauty, in fact she saw none of it. She did smile though, for once glad of her flat-chest. She ran her hands down her waist and smiled again. Reaching over her bed, she pulled on a crisp white shirt. The fabric felt strange, the stiff linen cold against her warm body. She had no idea who it had belonged to, she had found it left behind in one of the other guest rooms. Melanie slid her legs into the long trousers, then pushed her feet into the boots. The boots belonged to Charles. She always brought an extra pair tucked away in her luggage; he was always so hard on his shoes, scuffing them up to no end. She pushed the thoughts of Charles away. But, oh, how I will miss him! She wrapped her arms around herself and pushed away tears. She comforted herself with thoughts of freedom, a pushing aside of the life carved out for her. She would live her life of fire, and damn to the rest of the world. Melanie sketched a brief note. Just two simple words: I can't. I seemed to sum up everything. With that, she slipped out the window, down through one of the beautiful trees, and silently dropped to the ground. The grass had a delight spring as her feet touched it. She made her way into the forest, slowly, slowly, each step taking her away from Melanie Hamilton, closer to... that she didn't know.
