Gone
She had never felt so much hate coursing through her body. She had never thought that Cassidy would be the object of that hate either. Unobtrusive, quiet, shy Beaver from high school had shown a darkness that she had only encountered once before, in Aaron Echolls. At first, she had understood why Cassidy was so tortured, why he would do so many horrific things, even if they didn't excuse them. However, he had stood before her showing no remorse, no mercy as he had dialed the number that had caused her father's death. Veronica hadn't even realized she was crying, as she begged Cassidy not to do it, not to kill her father. Show some mercy, he hadn't done anything to him. The boy was so calculating. He didn't even flinch as the airplane had exploded midair.
His face still looked so innocent, just Dick's younger brother, and Mac's on again, off again boyfriend. How could someone like the person she knew really be the person he was? How could she not have noticed before? She was a private investigator's daughter. She solved cases all the time. She could have saved all those people – including her father – if she had just noticed. It was too late now. They were gone. This was her fault. She had ignored the signs: his feelings of inadequacy, his desires to prove himself to everyone around him, his anger towards others when they picked on him. He was constantly correcting everyone "My name is Cassidy", constantly trying to be remembered. Well, he would be remembered now. Forever. And she would always know that it had been her fault for ignoring him.
The gun in her hand was cold. She gripped the handle, contemplating shooting Cassidy right there. He would be on death row anyway, the minute he got convicted. He deserved to die. He had killed her father. Keith was gone. He had been so proud of her for graduating. They were supposed to go to New York next week, a dream vacation for the two. Cassidy had ripped that away from her, ripped her father away from her. She would be ending his pain, exacting revenge, and bringing herself closure. This boy had violated her and then tried to blame it on Duncan. He had raped her. Just because he could. He was no better than Woody Goodman who had molested the children on his baseball team. Her arms were shaking slightly, but she tried to hold them steady. Logan was trying to talk her down. He didn't want her to regret doing something this drastic. He didn't know that she wouldn't regret it, not ever. Cassidy had started this, three years ago, and now Veronica would finish it.
She made the mistake of looking at Logan before she pulled the trigger. His face was panicked. He truly believed that she would be sorry about shooting Cassidy. Maybe Logan was right. At the moment, she wasn't thinking too straight. She finally handed the gun to Logan and he pulled her into his arms before she could change her mind. She wailed in a way that usually ashamed her, but tonight she could accept it. Cassidy was climbing over the edge of the roof. His look was calm and resigned. He was going to jump and Veronica had no desire to stop him. Logan did, however, thinking of Dick and this kid that had once tagged along on all his adventures with Dick. He yelled for Beaver, but that only made things worse. Logan had called him Beaver. Cassidy knew he had nothing else to live for. He, too, knew he would be headed for at least life in prison. He stepped backwards as if he wouldn't be dropping hundreds of feet in the air and he was gone. Gone. Tears sprang to Logan's eyes, he had lost another person he had sort of considered a friend. And this boy had raped Veronica, hurt her, killed her father, destroyed her existence as well as many others. He had almost wreaked more havoc than his own father. Veronica continued to cry as well, but she wasn't crying for Cassidy. She had absolutely no sympathy for him anymore. She cried for her father. He was gone as well.
She hadn't expected Logan to stay with her all night. She sort of appreciated his dedication. It just proved to her that in the end, Logan was the one who would be there when she needed him the most, no matter what happened between the two of them. She didn't dwell on her thoughts of Logan. Not that night. She couldn't really think of much. All that consumed her was the fact that her father was gone. Keith would never walk in the door with some kind of interesting story, phrase, or surprise again. He wouldn't see her go to college. He wouldn't go to New York with her. He wouldn't know what her life turned out to be. She would be alone now. It wasn't like her mother cared. She might as well be dead as well.
Keith had been her rock. He had stood by Veronica no matter what and Veronica had stood by him no matter what. They had the kind of intense, never-ending father/daughter bond that others could never again emulate. He was her friend as much as he was her father. He had treated her like she was an equal. He had never been disappointed in her – even when she disobeyed him and ended up getting herself into trouble. He had just loved her with no ulterior motives. Even when he hadn't been sure she was even his. Her father had been a special man that could never be replicated and he was gone now. What would she do? Why would she live? Everything she did was for her father. Now what would she do things for?
His death had been senseless. He was helping bring in a child molester. He was trying to bring Cassidy's tormentor to justice and he had been repaid by being blown up. The thought was too much for Veronica to even consider. Her father dying a fiery death was too much for her brain to handle, even if it was an instantaneous one. Keith had deserved so much more. She had deserved more than to have her father ripped away from her, too. They were already a small family. He was all she had. He couldn't be gone. She wasn't sure if she could survive without him.
She knew how pathetic she looked. She didn't care. She let Logan lead her around, lay her down on the couch, make her rest. She didn't have the energy to fight him on anything. He just wanted to take care of her. It was nice to have someone there. She felt only slightly safer with him around. But she would take slightly. She sighed loudly from the headache that was seeping into her consciousness, most likely from the uncontrollable tears she had cried for Keith and herself, or maybe from the pain the taser has brought her. Whatever the reason, she felt exhausted and ill. If Keith had been there, he would have made her something ridiculously disgusting to eat and she would have felt better as he made jokes about her eating it. He wasn't there. He wouldn't be again. The apartment she had would remain almost completely empty, only she would be living there. How lonely this place would be. How lonely her life would be without her father.
She closed her eyes finally. She had no intention of falling asleep. She didn't think it would be possible to actually rest. She just couldn't hold her eyes open any longer. Logan was still wide awake, watching over her. The scene would almost have been sweet if it wasn't occurring because of Keith's brutal and sudden murder. He held his arms around her and willed her to relax. She tried not to think anymore. Thinking was only making her realize how wonderful her father had been to her even more than she had already known. He had been wonderful for as long as she could remember. Playing games with her as a child, ensuring her safety and happiness from the day she was born. Hugging her when she got herself into more trouble than she could handle, protecting her from all the evil he could, even though high school was different from when he had gone to one and there was no way to protect her from it. He would never be able to do those things again.
She didn't realize she was drifting off. She didn't realize that as she slipped into peace, that the state of remembrance she was in would only bring her more pain in the end. As she dozed, her father put on a puppet show, a memory that swept her mind from when she was just a child. A small smile appeared on her face from the recollection and anyone who saw her would have no idea what had happened. In fact, in her sleep, she didn't either. In her dreams, Keith was still alive. But reality would set in eventually. He was gone.
