Barely Getting By
Chapter 1: Breaking Down
A Post-Hogwarts Fic
Disclaimer: This is all J.K. Rowling. I just hide in her world and write random things.
If you passed by someone in the corridors of the Ministry of Magic, you probably wouldn't give them a second glance. Unless they were one of your comrades or someone of particular fame and fortune, you would see them as ordinary people, going about their ordinary jobs, in a rather successful type of normality.
But the people who roam these halls have untold stories, stories of friendships broken, hidden horrors, and lives lost. You might not see it in their face, but a small slip of emotion every so often, a longing glace at a photo will show who they once were, and who they believe they will never be again. A face can show everything, or nothing at all.
The people here are oblivious to what and who hides behind those battered doors and the peeling paint. Sometimes, though, the people you care about most will be upstairs, or right around the corner, and you won't know it at all.
The Ministry library was cold and dank, its only insulation given by the stacks and shelves of books carpeting the walls, floors, and the many tables scattered all over the room. A woman sat at one of these desks, surrounded by volumes on volumes of Ministry records, encyclopedias, written agreements, and books in general. She sat scribbling on a piece of parchment that was nearly all written on, only pausing to flip a page in a book or dip her sturdy quill into her ink bottle. Her hair was brown, bushy, and messy, slipping out of an untidy bun and falling over the parchment. Her face had a world-weary look upon it, and her brown eyes showed no sign of happiness or satisfaction, just a dulled, hard, look.
"Hermione?" A woman with dirty blonde hair walked into the room, her sea-green eyes filled with worry. "The library is about to close, we'd better get going…"
"What?" said Hermione, startled. "What did you say, Hannah?"
Hannah Abbott sighed as she repeated her words. "The library's closing early today, the Improper Use of Magic office is having another bloody meeting, and they want the head librarian there. Anyways, Hermione, you should be happy, we finally get a day off!"
Hermione gave her a very weak grin. "But…what about Rose Galowe?"
Hannah grimaced. For the past month, half of the Department of Tracking Magical Beings had been searching for Rose, the daughter of Ambrose Galowe, a vicious Death Eater. Hermione had entered into the search with a vengeance, as she did with all tasks, but she had begun to get obsessive...
"Penelope will take care of it, come on!"
"But I'm the one who's supposed to do the main shift right now!"
"The Department knows you've been working overtime every night, you can give it a rest."
Hermione's aggravation began to build up. "But there's too many people who need help, Hannah. I have to find her."
"You're taking too much on yourself, Hermione!"
"Honestly, Hannah, I can handle this. Just let me stay."
"Hermione, trust me, you need a break," said Hannah wearily, knowing what would come next.
"I – I can't!", said Hermione, looking horrified. "I can't just forget about her, what would you do? Leave a child standing there? She could be starving! Or mistreated! Standing in the streets with nowhere to go! Like Harry!" Suddenly, Hermione stopped short, her eyes gleaming.
"It's been four years, Hermione," whispered Hannah, not wanting to upset her. Then again, she did need to let it all out to someone.
"I know…" Hermione gulped, then started crying, the tears running down her pale cheeks as she took gasping breaths. Hannah reached out and hugged her, like she always did. Hermione had never gotten over what had happened in what was supposed to be their seventh year. When the second war ended, it had taken lives from the innocent, left its painful memories to the fighters. The Ministry had barely been equipped to handle with the destruction and chaos afterward, what with Dumbledore dead and still having Rufus Scrimgeour as Minister.
Not to mention Harry Potter.
Hannah's train of thought was interrupted when Hermione's shudders subsided and she slowly lifted her head.
"It's so hard," she said in a small voice.
"I know," said Hannah. She herself had lost Ernie MacMillan, soon after their engagement. She started to feel the tears come into her eyes, but quickly blinked them away. "Look, why don't you come with Luna and I to the Three Broomsticks? We're Flooing on the quarter past, it won't take that long. Besides, we could all use a pick-me-up."
"No, thanks," said Hermione, declining. "I'll just go home. I have to- have to research something for the case." Finishing, she quickly darted out the library door, carrying more books than she could handle, as usual.
Hannah sighed. There's no point in trying to stop her…
Gathering all of her many belongings, Hermione slung her book bag over her shoulder and hustled out the door of the Tracking offices, desperately needing a cup of tea. The teardrops were yet again gathering in her eyes, and she hurried to reach the Floo before she completely lost control. The large, rickety elevator finally reached the ground floor, and she hastily took a pinch of green powder, and shouted, "224 Equister Lane, London!" Stepping into the fire, she felt the warm breath of the emerald flames.
After bumping around uncomfortably for a few minutes, Hermione fell awkwardly out of the fireplace into her flat. Her books and quills spilled out of her stuffed bag, littering the floor.
"Great," muttered Hermione. She decided to ignore the mess and set the kettle to boil. Collapsing onto her smallish, overstuffed couch, Hermione surveyed her flat. It was located in a respectable neighborhood, just near Diagon Alley. The bedroom was tidy, along with the tiny living room and kitchen. Her office, however, was chock-full of books, quills, and ink, papers overflowing out of cabinets and carpeting the floor. A complete opposite of the rest of her life, which was filed into tidy divisions.
Crookshanks came and rubbed against Hermione's knee. She picked him up and set him in her lap, gently stroking him. Her eyes wandered unwillingly to the photographs on the table next to her. One was a newspaper clipping, depicting a large, smiling family, standing in front of some pyramids and waving energetically. The second was of three people, one tall, gangly and red-haired, one raven-haired with round glasses, and the last with bushy, brown hair, and a book under one arm. The trio was smiling happily, the red-haired one with his arms around the other two. The last was of the same brown and red haired boy and girl, the boy's hand just brushing the girls'. Both were laughing, without a care in the world, apparently. The Weasleys. Harry. Ron.
Hermione felt the sadness washing over her: the memories were too much for her to bear. After searching for months, the three had destroyed Nagini, the final Horcrux. Confronting Voldemort had not been so lucky. That was the night that Harry had-
Well, died wasn't the best word for it. Disappeared, more like. Voldemort had fallen, but during the process, Harry had vanished, leaving behind only his wand. After six months, the Ministry had no choice but to proclaim him Missing In Action. But Hermione knew what those cruel, unfeeling words really meant. Harry was gone.
This resulted in a total breakdown of Hermione's life. She totally lost contact with Ron, and most of the Weasley family. She had only seen them once after Harry had died, at his service. They were all in a sad, melancholy state. Bill and Charlie were there, along with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and the rest of the family. Mrs. Weasley had been sobbing softly. Fred and George were not their old, joking selves; rather, they sat around in a state of relative shock. Ginny had barely spoken a word, but her anguish had been clearly expressed. Ron- well, Ron was changed. His eyes did not contain any sign of happiness, his posture drooped- even his hair seemed depressed. They hadn't said anything to each other throughout the gathering-words weren't needed. Hermione had left abruptly and sharply at the end of the funeral, vowing to carry on with her life as if nothing had ever happened.
How miserably she had failed at that. She thought of Harry and Ron every day. They invaded her dreams, her job- the slightest things would bring back remembrances. Her job at the Ministry was her major occupation. She concentrated wholeheartedly on every case thrown at her, from Death Eaters to small children.
Not that the Ministry was doing anything worthwhile. Rufus Scrimgeour truly hadn't cared whether Harry had lived or died. He barely sent anyone to find him when he disappeared. Employees at the Ministry were desperately trying to rebuild homes, communities, lives, track down missing people- but the Death Eaters were a stronger force than the British wizarding government, wreaking havoc wherever they went. When Voldemort had been vanquished, they went on, powerful as ever. The Order was forced to do most of the work for the Ministry.
But nothing in her life could distract Hermione from her best friends. She had no idea where Ron worked, or where he was now, and the sense of loss for two of her best friends was practically unbearable. And these confused feelings she felt about him- you'd think at twenty-one she would have figured out what was wrong with her. Because with Ron, she had never known what to expect, what he would do if he saw her again. If he did…
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by the shrill whistling of the tea kettle. She got up and silenced its cries with a swish of her wand. Sitting down at her messy desk, Hermione slowly got to work, every so often glancing at the pictures she had brought in from the living room.
Minutes later, she had fallen asleep at the table, her dreams full of tealeaves and red hair.
A/N: First chaptered fic yay! I hope you guys review and tell me how I can improve. I am TOTALLY open to all your opinions and ways you think I can improve, since I don't have a beta. Just please don't flame, unless you are trying to improve my story. Don't worry, it won't stay too morbid, I couldn't write it if it did. Hope you keep reading!
