title: Placebo
series: X/1999, CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan
pairings: Fuuma/Kamui, Fuuma/Keiichi, Suoh/Nokoru, Nokoru/Kamui
about:/pl&-'sE-bO/: a medication prescribed more for mental relief than for its actual effect on a disorder. Fifty interconnected 100-word drabbles.
notes: 天 : ten no ryuu, 地球 : chi no ryuu, CCD : CCD era
(10/01/05 : 01/50) 天
Earthquake.
Violent freefall. Agonising euphoria. Oblivion.
Peace.
It should trouble Kamui just how easily these ideas related, then connected, in his mind. But in the face of their catalyst--the blistering heat and need of Fuuma's embrace--any doubts faded swiftly, inconsequential in the slur. Maybe it was a touch of masochism, after all. Or maybe only desperate, foolish hope. Either held perfectly charming irrationality. But, having crossed his Gemini today, the most probable culprit was painkillers. Overwhelming, logic-crippling intoxication... like Kamui's sensual murmurs, threatening...
He whimpered, tossing, until gentle fingers stirred his hair, easing those promises away.
Sleep followed.
(10/02/05 : 02/50) 地球
The forecast had called for partly-sunny skies, so he hadn't bothered with an umbrella. Sadly, there had been no way to account for the earthquakes or the columns of dusty smoke that rose in their wake, brewing artificial storms. Through sheer dumb luck he happened upon familiar shelter at the onset, ducking into the gazebo with a squeak as a crack of thunder split the sky overhead. Shaking, Keiichi glanced up, suddenly noticing someone already seated at the table, reading. Grimacing, he apologised for imposing and introduced himself. The person just smiled, strange amber eyes intent.
"Monou Fuuma... Please, sit."
(10/03/05 : 03/50) 天
Upon coming to, the first thing Kamui recognized was the familiar warmth of hands wrapped around his own. His fingers curled weakly, returning the embrace. "Su... baru..." But when he opened his eyes he saw blue, not green.
Nokoru gave a pained smile, squeezing gently before sitting down. He looked unusually... rumpled. "Sadly, Sumeragi-san is still missing, but... I thought you'd appreciate the company." It took several seconds for that to absorb, for his memory to return. Then, Kamui looked horrified.
"You stayed this whole time?"
A knowing smile. "You need someone, so... for now, let me take care of you."
(10/04/05 : 04/50) 地球
The second time they met, Keiichi had been wanting some "alone" time. As concentrated and industrious as CLAMP campus was, it was difficult to come by. So, as he sometimes did, with all his obligations fulfilled, he wandered off-campus and into the business district. The streets there held no expectations of him, provided the comfort of facelessness. His heart could be exposed, heavy but unnoticed among the masses. And he almost wished he could stay there, lonely but shamelessly flawed and human... until a single face resolved from the crowd. Their eyes met, something clicked, and he was undone.
"Monou-san..."
(05/05/06 : 05/50) 天
"Chairman, please--"
"Oh! Come now, I get enough of that with the others..."
There was an odd pause, as though Imonoyama were contemplating someone particular. Or perhaps what he'd meant, exactly, by "that." But then he just smiled more earnestly, appearing twice as tired for his efforts. "We've so little time to waste, being formal. Please, just 'Nokoru' will do."
"Nokoru... san... you already do so much, I couldn't--"
"I'm not going anywhere." Such soft words, yet so heavily weighted that Kamui was dumbstruck. Ashamed of his own transparency, he turned away, lest the unborn tears be seen, also.
(05/06/06 : 06/50) 地球
Everything about Monou was passive. Dismissive, even.
It wasn't the most startling revelation Keiichi ever had. He'd sensed that about the other young man from the first time he'd laid eyes on him. But, somehow, in the stillness of that moment, he understood that it was important. The soft, factual tones. The disinterested gaze. The unhurried, unthreatened posture.
Those same things that were so yielding, normally, split the crowd neatly around them. By simply breathing, Monou'd exposed him, shattering his precious illusion. Keiichi wished he would disappear.
"...Wanna get something to eat?"
He just wanted to be left alone.
"...Yeah."
(10/05/05 : 07/50) 天
In all his years of service to the chairman, Takamura Suoh had never been as unnerved by his directness as he was, tonight. It was difficult to reason, but something about the way Nokoru hovered at Kamui's bedside was... distracting. Of course, in comparison to countless others his friend had helped, there was nothing happening that appeared to be particularly different. There was nothing special at all about him being personally involved where troubled women or children were concerned. Not even how he held Shirou-kun's hand through the nightmares.
"I'll take my paperwork in here, tonight, Suoh."
Nothing at all.
(10/06/05 : 08/50) 地球
After their second encounter, he and Monou began meeting semi-regularly at the gazebo. Monou never made promises, but through unspoken agreement, appeared at least once a week to engage in "discussions" with him. Surprisingly, despite his dark disposition and biting commentary, the other made a splendid debate partner and one helluva stress reliever. Which was wonderful, with exams so close.
More than once, though, Keiichi already had a headache by the time that knowing smile greeted him. And more than once, rough yet gentle hands pulled his textbooks away, urging him to rest.
More than once... that alone, saved him.
(10/07/05 : 09/50) 天
One week prior to Kamui's scheduled release, his doctor relented and allowed him to be taken off his nightly sedatives. It was a difficult decision, having the inches-thick medical record in hand and understanding that the trauma--both physical and mental--was far from over. But after much pleading, arguing, and tantrum-throwing on the patient's part, the orders went through, however tentatively.
That same night, Kamui awoke screaming, Fuuma's name mangled in his throat. In moments, Nokoru was there, arms wound protectively around him and murmuring soothingly until the pain subsided. Holding him until he was warm again, and slept.
(05/10/06 : 10/50) 地球
You're one of twelve people involved in a life or death situation. You have the ability to save ten strangers or only one loved one. Who would you choose? Why?
"Is that a serious prompt?"
Keiichi, ever eloquent, cocked an eyebrow. "Assuming you have no conscience. It's a question of ethic."
"Ten strangers could never amount to the one person you love. There is no one so benevolent," Monou replied, factually. "I'd kill in a heartbeat, for that person... Does that make me terrible?"
"Does it really matter to you?"
"...You're right," he looked away, growing quiet again. "It doesn't."
