LAST CHANCE

"I'm 38."

Caroline looked at her lover, whom was wrapped up in her arms right now. Kate was gazing at the fire and not looking at Caroline. They were sitting on the couch, the steam that their tea produced was swirling to the ceiling of their new home.

It was one year after they got back together, after the short time they had broken up because of Celia. They had decided to move in together, three months later but they decided that since Kate's place was too small and Caroline's carried too many memories of her marriage to John, they couldn't live in neither places, so, they decided to get their own place. It was a beautiful, quite modern house with four bedrooms, one of them they had turned into a guest room. It had two bathrooms as well and it was quite big, but they could afford it because Celia helped them a bit. It was her way of saying sorry and while Caroline didn't want her to pay at first, Celia kept nagging, saying it was the perfect house for them and the boys so well… eventually they accepted. Caroline is glad she did because this house was perfect for them.

"Yeah, love; I know." Caroline said with an amused smile, wondering why Kate was bringing her age up, out of the blue. She let her fingers glide through Kate's beautiful, almost black hair. She loved her girlfriend's hair.

Kate looked up at Caroline. "I don't have any kids of my own." She added softly.

Caroline's fingers stilled. "No…" She said, softly, already guessing what this might be about but praying it wasn't what she thought.

"My… my time to have kids is running out." Kate informed her and Caroline bit her lip as she dropped her hand, of which the fingers had just been occupied with Kate's hair, into her lap. She kept quiet, so Kate was able to finish. "I… I haven't told you this before because I didn't think that this… feeling would stick around but… it has." She told Caroline, feeling the fear creep up on her. "I know that you have two amazing sons and you know that I love Laurence and William as my own… well… almost." She told Caroline as she sat up a little. "I-I think that I… I want to… have a baby of my own, now that I still can." She announced and Caroline looked away.

She couldn't believe this. Kate's ex-husband broke up their marriage because Kate didn't want to have kids. Caroline thought that she was safe now, that this question would never come up but now… it had and she didn't know how to react to it.

"Kate…" She said, obviously at loss and Kate sat up.

"I-I know. I know that this isn't what you want but I'm just telling you what I feel, right now…" She told her girlfriend. "I realize that you've been there and done that… more than once but… I can't help what I feel, Caroline. And… and I'm scared… that if you don't… if you can't do this with me I'll… I'll have to… I might have to do it on my own." She said as she sat up straight and Caroline looked at Kate.

"Kate…" She said again. "Are you… are you serious?" She wondered, her thoughts swirling around in her head.

"I am." Kate said with a dead serious expression on her face.

Caroline shook her head softly. "I am 46… I… If we had a child now, I'd be 60 when they were fourteen… I… I might not even see my grandchildren… well, not of that particular child. I… I'm not sure that that is fair, to that baby, I mean." She explained.

Kate shook her head. "Caroline, so many people have children when they are over forty. It's… it's not that uncommon." She said carefully and Caroline swallowed.

"C-Can we perhaps talk about this another time? It's late… I have to go to work tomorrow… I… I need to seriously think about this, Kate." She said and Kate nodded.

"I understand." She responded but before Caroline could get up, she placed her hand over Caroline's. "I'm sorry I just… blurted it out like that." She told her and squeezed her girlfriend's hand. "I know this is a lot to take in and I… look, Caroline, I love you and if I could… if I could 'un-feel' this, I would but I can't." She said, almost tearing up because she knew this could very well be the breaking point of their relationship.

Caroline looked at her lover and her heart ached for her. She sighed and decided to hug Kate again. "We'll figure this out, sweetie." She told her and sighed again. She hoped that her words were true.