This one time, I, Bella Swan (the prettiest and most wonderful girl in the world) moved to a stupid town and didn't want to, and whined a lot about it. Then I met Edward, who was so beautiful that I orgasmed, and also a vampire. We fell in love for some reason and got married and now I'm a vampire too and my friend is dating my baby.
The end.
Thanks for reading! Flames are appreciated, 'cause they're hilarious.
