A/N: Longest thing I have ever written. Ever. It's horrible, too. I'm more of a drabble writer, but I was in the mood for some Matt/Near. Oh well. Revel in its suckiness :D

Warning: Slash, Mello's potty mouth.


In, hindsight, Matt should have probably realized Mello would have liked to hear that his best friend was sneaking (unsuccessfully, apparently) into dark corners and secluded closets with the enemy from said best friend, not Linda.

"What. The. Hell?"

Matt vaguely wondered what Mello was doing talking to Linda in the first place as he stepped between Near and a furious Mello.

"Uh, Mells. I can explain. I mean, it is what it looks like --"

"No shit it's what it looks like, dumbass! Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Mello fumed, and behind him, Matt felt Near clutch the back of his striped shirt.

"No, Mello, I don't think you're stupid --"

Mello interrupted him again. "Good, because I'm not. But I repeat: What the hell?"

Matt sighed. "Look, I know you don't like Near, but I do, and you're just gonna have to deal with that, Mello."

"That's what you think?" Mello asked. "Give me a little more credit! Okay, yes, it's Near. He's a freaky albino know it all. I can't believe you didn't tell me, though! I thought we were friends!"

Near took a hesitant step forward. "Mello, please don't be mad at Matt."

Mello glared at him. "You stay the fuck out if this. It's between me and Matt."

"Don't talk to him like that."

The blonde blinked, and after a second said, "Fine, but you're still on probation. Where the fuck did you get off keeping something like this from me?"

"I'm sorry. I thought you would be mad." Matt said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Damn right I'm mad! I had to hear it from fucking Linda! Linda, of all people! You know how I get when I have to talk to her!" Mello glowered at him and Matt let out a sigh of relief.

"So we're cool then?"

Mello grinned at him. "As ice, Matty. "