It is a normal day at work. I am a medical assistant at a small doctor's office, I have been here for a few months and I love it here and they love me. We had our usual patients and one new one coming in. It was fairly busy. I liked it that way, the day moved faster. I could get home and read my book or watch Family Guy, my favorite show. I love Seth MacFarlane, probably to the point of an obsession, but what's not to love? Sexy, talented and amazingly handsome. People look at me weird when I say that I like him, then they say Oh, he's rich too. It is completely not that, I don't care about money. If he was a poor writer, or worked at Walmart, I would feel the same about Seth.
Anyway, I was checking patient's vitals and all that good stuff. I took the new patient's chart and noticed the label with initials, Mac, I put it in the holder and I thought, wow, that's the initials of Seth's last name. I am thinking too much about Seth today. I need to get a grip. He would never come to Florida, and why would he come to this office? I think to myself. When an exam room opens, I grab the new guy's chart and hurriedly look at the name, "Seth" I call. I do a double take and look at his name again. Oh. My. God. It says Seth MacFarlane. I look up at the patient and I immediately feel the blood rush to my face and I start to stammer. Follow me sir. I say to him. I can't believe this. Seth MacFarlane is here, in my doctor's office.
As I lead him to the room I try to keep a professional appearance. Wo-Would you please step on the scale, I ask him as I close the door. What goes through my head during this! I feel like I took a stupid pill, and my body is reacting to this man, like amazing reacting. I reached over to adjust the scale and when I accidently touch his arm I feel the electricity between us. He felt it too. He looks stunned for a moment. I ask him to have a seat and take out the thermometer. I have to touch his ear, I don't know how I can without trembling, but somehow I do. Nin-Ninety eight point one, I stammer. He is looking at me as though I am some weird exotic fish. I am truly embarrassed by his staring. Next is blood pressure. I notice that he is wearing a long sleeve button down shirt, and I felt very naughty. "Sir, can you take your shirt off" I ask him. I can probably take his pressure over the shirt, but what the hell, I need to look at him shirtless. He has been silent this whole time, while I try to act like I don't recognize him. He gives me a look that says, who are you kidding? Then he gives me that crooked smile of his as he unbuttons his shirt and I feel like I am going to pass out.
Next I have to touch his arm to attach the blood pressure cuff. I feel like I have been shocked by low voltage when I hold his arm. It takes a couple of tries, but I eventually get it right. I can't meet his beautiful brown eyes even though he is trying to look at mine. As I start the machine to squeeze his arm, I notice he closed his eyes. I take in his gorgeous upper body and stare. He won't see me, I think. I smile to myself, thinking about what I would do to him. I notice he has a secret smile on his face, like he knows what I am thinking about. The test is done, I have to touch him again to take the cuff off. This time I linger a little longer than I need to. I am frightened and thrilled about this feeling. I have never felt like this before. Even with my ex. It's not just because he is my favorite celebrity and I fanaticize about him almost every night. I really feel some connection here.
I have to ask him what brought him to the doctor and if he is on any medication. I feel embarrassed and shy because I need to write this down. I feel that it is not my business, although it really is because of my job.
He takes a minute just looking at me, then he remembers where he is. Oh yeah, sorry, he mumbles. I was in a small car accident and my insurance company wants me to make sure I'm OK, he tells me. When I gasp, I do not want to see Seth hurt, he breaks in, "I am not really hurt, but I hit my shoulder", he tells me. I write that down for the doctor to know. That's good, that you are not hurt, I tell him. He stares into my eyes and I feel butterflies in my stomach, and other places. I really need to look away from his intense eyes so I use writing as an excuse. I am torn between my compassion for people and passion for Seth. I want to grab him and hug him, then throw him down on the floor and take him. I try to maintain a professional, medical demeanor. I want to know what he is doing down here in Florida. I say to him, I know you are shooting your movie in New Mexico, what brings you here? He looks semi shocked that I know this. Now it is his turn to get nervous. He tells me that he just needed to get away from everything for a few days, and he thought he would be anonymous here. He tells me that he came down here to the area when he was a kid and he was drawn here for some reason.
Wow, that's cool, I wouldn't dare tell anyone that you are here. Don't worry, I tell him. I'm not from here either, I came down here with my…. With who? He asks. I mumble, my husband. Now Seth lets out a gasp. But he is ah, not my husband anymore, I tell him shyly. Oh, good, he whispers back. We can both feel the tension in the room. The electricity that is surrounding us both. I get closer to him, our eyes lock. We both start to lean in to kiss. There is a knock at the door. Oh no, we break apart. Then Dee, the woman that works at on the front desk, opens the door. I forgot to give you this she tells me as she hands me some of Seth's paperwork. Thank you, I tell her. When she leaves, Seth looks at me. Wow, that has never happened to me he says out loud. I am completely embarrassed now, I turn beet red. I am internally yelling at myself because I think that he doesn't really feel the same electric current as I do.
I'm sorry but I have never…I mean I don't want you to get in trouble, Seth tells me. He seems embarrassed too.
Can I ask you something? I say to change the subject and tension. Sure, he says.
I know you want to be anonymous, and I feel silly asking but can I have your autograph? I truly am a big fan. Of course you can have my autograph, he tells me. I will get it when you leave if it's ok, I have been in here too long and I have other patients, I tell him. Sure, Ok, yeah when I leave.
When I leave the exam room I go directly to my bag and pull out my Music is Better Than Words cd so he can sign it. There are no other patients at the moment, so I can just stop and think for a minute. I cannot believe this. The man of my dreams is here and I feel like a complete horny nerd.
