Just something I needed to get out of my head before it created even more chaos in my already chaotic mind. This came from a small part in Chapter 44 of Souls & Spirits (which, no, is not uploaded yet, because I'm still not done with it), and yeah, got me thinking and I decided that I really just needed to write it.
And if you have to ask, yes, I was thinking of Bickslow and Lucy while writing this, since the idea came from S&S. But you can use it for any characters you like, since there's no actual names.
Immortality.
Some would call it a curse; others, a blessing.
But in reality, it was neither. But at the same time, it was both. To him, it was just whatever the person made of it. To live a cursed life or a blessed life was completely up to them, and to no end, it annoyed him that such a precious gift could be so strictly defined as either or.
But maybe it always frustrated him so much that people could always do that because they just didn't have a reason to see it as anything but a curse. Because that's what most saw it as.
A curse.
A cursed life, existence. Nothing but darkness awaited someone with such a burden to bear. Watching everyone you love die around you. Go on with their lives while you stayed forever un-ageing. Never growing…
How was that not a curse? Even he could see that. Because after all, the day he became immortal, his life practically ended. He wouldn't age, he wouldn't grow. He would forever remain as the man he was that same day everything had happened. Nothing would ever change.
And it had truly taken him a while to see that it wasn't a curse – that it was whatever he made of it. To know that he wasn't going to grow old with the one he loved more than life itself. No children, no family.
No life together.
To him, that was truly a curse. And it took him a long time to see it as anything but that.
But then, he realised something. He realised that he would still have her. He'd still be able to see her smile, and he'd hear her laugh. Every day, he'd be able to hold her. Kiss her. Tell her how much he loved her. Like he always did.
He'd have her for all eternity. Never ageing, never growing. Never changing. Together. Things would stay the same forever, and it was that thought that had him realising it wasn't a curse. Not for him, anyway.
He'd be able to spend the rest of his never-ending life with her by his side, and that was nothing close to being a close. It was a blessing.
They'd watch the world change and grow around them, constantly. The people they held most dear would move on. Their friends and family would all get older, settle down and have children, and die of old age together with smiles on their faces. They'd see everyone forget about them.
And it would hurt. A lot. They'd both accepted that fate. But that was okay. They could cope with not being able to do any of that. They could cope with not being able to start a family of their own one day, and not see each other grow old like they'd always thought they would.
Because as long as they had each other, everything was always okay. To him, it would always hurt. And it was the same for her too. But it was still okay, because he would never have to see her take her last breath. He would never have to be without her, and he'd never have to know the pain of losing the one person in the entire world who meant more than anything to him.
To live in a world without her wouldn't be living, and he'd be wishing he was dead if he ever had to do that. Just so he could be by her side again.
But he wasn't going to have to do that. He'd never have to wish he was dead just to be by her side, and he'd never have to witness her own short life ending. Because for all eternity, they'd be together.
She would chase away the darkness, like she always did, and she'd make their endless lives meaningful. She would smile, and she'd laugh, and she'd tell him how much she loved him. Just like he would with her. Forever.
She would make their everlasting lives worth living, because after all, they'd be together.
And to him, that's what made it so far from being a curse. How could spending all eternity with the one woman he loved more than life itself be a curse? He wouldn't be alone. Not again, not ever. He would always have someone by his side, and out of anyone in the world, he would always choose her to be that person.
But maybe, it really was just a curse after all. At least to most people. Maybe it was a curse until you found that one reason to go on and keep living. Maybe without that light, the awaiting darkness and constant death around them would be too much.
But to him? He still didn't see it as a curse. Not really, anyway. Not when he could spend the rest of eternity going on countless adventures and travelling the world with his best friend and lover, like they'd always talked about doing before they really settled down.
To him, that was all he could wish for.
But… Even if he was getting to spend all eternity with her, and he'd be able to watch countless sunrises and sunsets from every corner of the world, he still saw the curse. The burden of being immortal. It was always there in the back of his mind, and it always would be. Forever.
To him, it wasn't the darkness or the lack of self-change in an ever growing and changing world.
To him, it was that forever wouldn't be long enough. Not with her, anyway.
