Hannah is confused over her feelings for Nick

Trouble Sleeping

Part I

"I just came by to tell you I'm happy for you."

"Look, Nick..."

"No really, I am. I'm sorry for all I put you through. I really am. I'm thinking of you always Hannah Jane, but I have to let you go." He turns and starts to walk down her porch steps.

"Wait, Nick, please, don't go!" He keeps walking so she calls out desperately, "I'm not going to marry Big Cat!"

Nick stops and turns slowly, hopefully and looks at her while walking back up her porch steps, "You're not?"

"No, Nick, I'm not, it's you I want to be with, it's always been you…" He grabs her at that moment, as if she would run away! Then in a split second he's wrapping her in his arms, kissing her cheeks and her forehead, the nape of her neck and then oh sweet heaven, he's kissing her lips, just the way he used to. It was all so familiar, yet it was new and exciting and exactly where she wanted to be. She was smiling and giggling and just so happy. He's running his hands down her back up and down with so much pressure… then he cups her bottom and ohmygod he starts to say her name in that way, that way she remembers with such love and need and desperation…

"Hannah, Hannah, HANNAH!!!"

Just then she heard this strange noise, an incessant beeping. Then Nick's voice was gone and it was Ray's voice, coming out of Nick's mouth. What? She shook her head, trying to hold on to Nick's image, but it faded away and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. Ray was looking at her with a curious expression.

"Man Hannah Jane, you must have been having one hell of a dream, you were smiling and holding your face, and giggling like a school girl. What were you dreaming about?"

"Uh…. I forget."

"I hate when that happens. Well you better get up if you don't want to be late. I have a few sites to check out and a lot of paperwork to do today, so I might not be home in time for dinner. I'll give you a call. Love you…" He bent down to kiss her on the lips and Hannah turned her head slightly so he missed and got the side of her mouth instead. He smiles at her again and leaves the room. She feels so ashamed of herself for dreaming about another man instead of the one she was going to marry. This was the third time she had dreamed of Nick in the past week. Hannah was starting to worry. Everyone knows the subconscious mind holds your deepest desires. She had been ignoring these dreams, trying not to dwell on them, but they keep happening. The closer it seems she gets to the wedding, the more frequent they have become.

"Well, no use dwelling on it now," she says to her self, "I'm going to be late. SAM??? Are you up yet???" Hannah grabbed her very old bathrobe and wrapped it around her as she walked to her bedroom door.

"Sam? Time to get up honey. SAM!" She opened his bedroom door and her heart squeezed just a little bit. Ever since Sam and Nick had been having their weekly ice cream meetings, her son had started reading, then rereading his book again. Sam was asleep with the book still clutched in his arms. My sweet boy, she thought. He looks so much like his father.

Meanwhile outside Hannah's house…

Ray sat in his truck for a long time. He was not't sure if it was 5 minutes or five hours. He just sat there and tried to absorb what had just happened. So this is what it felt like; a broken heart. Wow. He lived a fantasy for 4 years and now, it was finally over. She did not't realize that she spoke out loud. "I'm not going to marry Big Cat. It's you I want to be with, it's always been you…" Damnit! He hit the steering wheel and willed himself to man-up and not cry over this crap.

Hadn't he loved her first? Hadn't he? The day she fell off the swing, and little snot nosed Nicky Garrett got to her first? But he had been watching her from a safe distance the whole time waiting for an opportunity to introduce himself. Hadn't he waited for her all through high school, hoping she would see Nick for the fraud that he was? And then when he left her, hadn't he made sweet love to her during that summer? Promising her that he would take care of her, love her? But she just went to the next guy and the next and the next, trying to dull the pain instead of turning to Ray, the one man that truly loved her. Hadn't he then given up and finally married Christine in an attempt to get over his one true love. Hadn't he just been minding his business 6 years later when she , SHE, made the moves on him. And on that day, he felt finally, Finally, FINALLY she would be his. But it was all a lie, Garrett is who she wanted then and who she wants now. So to hell with her and the rest of them. He was going to bide his time and he would make Hannah Jane pay for his mangled heart. He would make her pay. He shook himself one more time, started the car and drove off to work planning his revenge in his head.