And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
I know I know I should be working on YOUKO'S PET but inspiration struck elsewhere.
Without further ado the story
No one will cry over me
Sum: Sad, Tradgic, And just two notches beyond heart wrenching. Suichi, abused by his mother's boyfriend, seeks release form his torment. His salvation just maybe what condemns him. Sequel is progress, no set pairings, reviews desperately needed!
Rated: M
Warnings:
Disclaimer: I don't own
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Suichi looked in the mirror, hating what he saw. He hated everything! His so called friends, his school, the demons, Koenma, his mother. Her especially.
She knew, she had to know what was going on. She was his mother and she did nothing. He was a fool to have saved her if she couldn't see what was happening.
In her own home no less! And his friends, they didn't care anymore! Hiei wouldn't even come around anymore. Of any of them that would be able to help he thought Hiei would.
Big Mistake.
He couldn't take anymore of this! Hatanaka, his mother's boyfriend, wasn't a kind man after he found out about Suichi's preference in partners. He would do whatever he could to
make him feel like shit. Hatanaka would send Shiori out for errands or tell her to go and visit friends or family just so he could get Suichi alone. When she was gone he would yell at
him, calling his a 'stupid slut', or a 'cock whore'! He would drag him down the stairs by his hair and then beat him halfway down. Suichi couldn't take anymore of the abuse. He felt so
powerless not being able to fight back. He felt the tears he had hidden for so many years finally break free of their emerald prisons.
Time has run out, for me.
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.
He knew there was only one way to stop this torture without laying a hand on Hatanaka, even though it was going to destroy his mother. He opened the drawer in his desk and stared
at what lay inside. His mother would be sad for a while but Hatanaka had a son she could replace him with. So he wouldn't be missed for long. Not even his friends would grieve for him.
They couldn't even help him! Suichi reached into the drawer and picked up the silver paring knife that lay inside.
And I need to leave, for a while.
Life is so meaningless; there is nothing worth a smile.
So goodbye, I'll miss you.
He looked at the little blade as it shone in the moonlight knowing that he now, literally, held his life in his hand. There was no point for him to continue to suffer when there was no one
who even cared if he disappeared. If they cared they would have noticed by now. Especially him. He spent so much of his time following Suichi around and he couldn't even sense that
something was amiss. If he couldn't help than maybe he wasn't supposed to be helped.
And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
He turned the blade over in his hand, admiring the craftsmanship of the little blade. His mother had had all the kitchen knives sharpened just a few days ago, when he decided he wasn't
worth it. Hatanaka would make her happy. That's what he kept telling himself. It was the only thing that kept him from turning him in. Shiori had devoted sixteen years of her life to
making Suichi happy, the least he could do is not take away the happiness she found in that horrid man. Her happiness was worth so much more than his life. At least that's what he
kept telling himself. Even if deep down somewhere he didn't believe that. But it was the only excuse he had to hold onto.
It's been the years, of abuse.
Neglected to treat the disorder,
that controls my youth, for so long.
I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground.
It's no use, why should I hold on?
It's been five years, don't need one more.
So goodbye, life's abuse.
He took the blade and pressed the cold steel against the warm flesh of his wrist. There was no going back after this. Once it was done no one would find him until it was too late.
He was frightened. What if he was wrong and Hatanaka just started to take out his anger against Shiori? She was a frail woman and would not be able to withstand the violence.
But what frightened him more was the lack of fear for what he was about to do. It scared him senseless from how not scared he was.
Pressing the steel harder against the soft flesh he felt a slight sting and watched with tear streaked eyes as his blood flowed from his wrist to pool on the clean white sheets of his bed.
Funny thing is the only thing he could think of is how much trouble his mother was going to have getting the stains out. Suichi sat there and watched as the blood continued to pool onto
the sheets. Before he grew too weak he dipped two of his fingers into the ever growing crimson puddle of his life and began to write on the wall behind his bed. As he wrote his tears
continued to fall with every given stroke of the message. He wrote in hatakana. His mother loved the way he wrote in hatakana. It was the last true favor he would do
for her.
And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
Suichi felt his strength slip away as his life force came close to running on empty. Knowing there was no way to stop it and that it would only get worse, he laid down on his bed not caring
that he was getting blood all over himself. In a couple more minutes it wouldn't matter and then he wouldn't have to feel his pain any more. A sad smile spread across his lips as he felt a
sudden sense of weakness overtake his body. Even though he was escaping his personal Hell, there was only one thing that he regretted. His one regret was that no one would avenge him
or his grievances. That thought alone was the only thing that held him back from doing this earlier. No one would know what he suffered through, what torment he was forced to endure, and
thus no one would would extract revenge for the tourture he was forced to go through. Suichi felt his eyes getting heavier and didn't try to fight to keep them open. Ever so slowly he allowed
his eyes to close, surrendering his soul to the eternal darkness. He felt himself fall into the dark abyss that his demon had feared so nearly 16 years ago.
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"Suichi, breakfast's ready!" Shiori called up to her son. Today was going to be a special day. Today her little boy was turning 17! She had a wonderful surprise for him. She had arranged for an
appartment for him to move into. She had notice that he was spending less time at home and when he was home he wasn't around the family much. So she had taken this as the sign that he was
ready to move out on his own. She didn't want him to leave home, but even she knew that the day would eventually come when he would move out and make a life for himself. She had even
made his favorite breakfast: Strawberry pancakes drizzled with blueberry syrup and jasmine green tea sweetened with honey and cinnimon. She waited for the familiar sound of suichi coming
down the stairs and telling her "Good morning". But today there were no sounds from the stairwell and no familiar voice to greet her.
"Suichi?" she called again, but still she was met with nothing.
"Relax, Shiori. He probably just over slept or something." Hatanaka said looking up from the newspaper.
"It's not like him to sleep late. He's normally up before me." She said, an expression of concern crossing her face. "I'm going to go check on him." She said as she walked to the kitchen door.
As she ascended the stairs she got that feeling of dread mothers' usualy get when something bad has happened to their child. The closer she got to Suichi's room the more the feeling
intensified until she finaly reached her son's door. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty as she reached for the door handle. as she opened the door she felt an unnerving sense of fear
grip at herchest. "Suichi, breakfast is re-" Shiori stared in horror at the image that met her eyes. Her eyes wide in horror layed apon the bloody for of her son laying on his bed. His wrist had been
slit open enough to allow blood to pool around her son's body. He was more pale than he normal and the deep crimson of his hair blended and mixed with the blood that pooled around him.
Faintly shiori could hear someone scream and was barely able to register it was her own voice. She heard someone running up the stairs and managed to process that Hatanaka had rushed
passed her and checked Suichi. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911. She didn't hear what was being said since her attention was drawn to the wall behind his headboard. There written
in black crimson were the words that would haunt her for the rest of her life. I'm Not Worth Your Tears.
(Everyone 18 minutes, somebody dies from a suicide.
Every 43 seconds, somebody attempts one.
If you, or anybody you know, is suicidal, Call 1-800-784-2433.)
Shiori couldn't bear the thought of what happened and blacked out. When she awoke she was in the hospital with Hatanaka next to her. He told her that one of the doctors wanted to talk to
her privately about Suichi. She agreed to hear what the doctor said and was shocked to hear that the Coroner had found traces of bruises that were beleived to be caused by abusive
behavior on the behalf of a second party. It was then that she realized that whenever Suichi dissapeared was when Hatanaka was around. And that whenever she came back from leaving
Hatanaka alone with him he would change into long clothes that concealed his body. She went home after breaking off with Hatanaka and sat on the couch. She had a picture of her and Suichi
together at the park. He looked so happy then and she couldn't believe that she wasn't able to see that he wasn't happy until it was too late to help him. It tore at her to know that she
had outlived her one child, and that he was the only one she was able to have. She broke down and started crying, Suichi's picture still smiling at her.
And I'm sorry, but this my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Okay like I said I know that I should be working on Youko's pet but this came to mind. This one may end up being a prequel to another story but that is undecided as of yet
O.K. It's been decided as soon as i get things sorted out with my other stories there WILL BE a sequel to this one but only
If I can get other's to TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS ONE!!!!!!
I mean I sit good is it bad is it too tradgic C'mon ppl give me some feed on how I can improve!!!
If I can't get ppl to talk to me ithe second one may just follow as this one! Trust me when I first Thought over this story I was ready to cry because of how sad it was in it's raw form.
But considering I have 7 filters between my brain and my fingers This turned out EXTREMELY watered down compared to what it was when I first got this in my head. So if you don't like it
deal... Seriously this is a lot better than what it could have been If I had written this in RAW form.
so, yet again, I will ask before I abandon this Review of NO STORY!!!!!!!!!!!
