Author Note: ok guys I know I haven't been updating standing here for hours scared to death. Because I have mainly, been working on this one. This is a 100 true story in spashley point of view. Everything really happened in the flashbacks. Everything before that is all up to spashley. I hope you enjoy, leave me some comments if you like or dislike.

"What the fuck" I scram across the room trying to figure out what I was forgetting. I was supposed to be at my grandmothers house 30 minutes ago, and I have yet to even get to the car. But of course with my luck my damn alarm clock didn't go off, and I was late getting up.

My life has been hell since my record deal, and getting off of this tour. I haven't really enjoyed any of it except the fact of expressing my feeling on stage and the fans seem to like my feelings. I don't think anyone really knows what it is I go through everyday, and why I do.

I don't live that far from my grandmas; it's about 15 minutes away. I live in a more high class and security protected neighborhood. I had to find a good place like this, because of the constant fans/stalkers that follow me home. I love my house though it's huge, it should be I didn't pay $780,000 for it for nothing.

I know what you're thinking why an 18 year old has such a big house if I live by myself. Well the truth is I like that I can get lost in my own house, and I can never get bored, I have everything I need there. I fell in love with this house the first time I saw it, it was just me, and come on its not like I don't have the money to buy it.

That's another thing that I like to tell myself, I have more money than I could ever spend and I enjoy that. Don't take me as some kind of self obsessive person; I do donate a lot of money and things to different organizations.

I walked outside with my acoustic guitar and 2 backpacks. Making my way to my garage I opened garage door #4, and there she was, my baby girl. I named her K she's a Porsche 911 Carrera 4S Cabrio. It makes me sad to think back of the memories that lie in this car. It was her Idea to get this new one. I only got it because it was her favorite, and now that she is gone it became the only thing that actually made me laugh in our memory instead of crying.

I threw my guitar and the 2 backpacks into that passenger's seat and turned on the engine. The radio blasted Paramore's –CrushCrushCrush. I have become very well known since my deal with MGA, but there is still this emptiness inside of me that seems to make me unworthy. 15 minutes past great IV been lost in my thoughts of her again, as if any other day is different. It's hard for me to be like this, to live like this but I don't think she knows the way I feel about her is still so much.

I pulled into my grandma's driveway and parked the car. I retrieved my guitar and the 2 bags. I held my head down as I walked, until I came across this car… a black Honda Accord 2 door. It was parked 2 cars ahead of me in the driveway, and it threw me into a flash back

I sat in the airport at the age of 16. I had a fight with my mom and decide I was going to run away. The only thing was I didn't have a ticket and I had no money. So I sat in the lobby by myself.

She worked at the airport. I figured I would see her, but I didn't so I pulled out my phone and started a text

Spence. I'm in the lobby come out by terminal B in the lobby-ash

She didn't text me back

I thought I saw her walk past me and it made me mad thinking she would look at me and then just walk away without coming over. So I started another text

Hey, why did you walk past me?-ash

A few minutes later she texted me back

I'm not working today; I am already off-Spence

I felt stupid as I sat there and looked at the text. Then I had a phone call coming in. it was her I was scared I hadn't talked to her in a while. So after the 4th ring I answered.

"Hey"

"Hey why are you at the airport."

"Well I took a cab here, because I got in trouble with my mom and she pissed me off."

"What did you get in trouble for?"

"I got caught with weed."

"Are you stupid?" she sounded so irritated by now.

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm heading over town to go out with some friends."

"Ok I guess ill talk to you later then."

"K bye"

I hung up with her and called my house, and told them she was coming to get me. But the thing was she really wasn't and I put myself into another bad situation. I tended to always put myself into a bad position, but it only happens when it involves her. After calling my house my mom called her and they talked, nobody ever told me what was said, but I got a text from Spence saying she would be at the airport to get me in an hour and a half. At first I was excited, but then I started getting nervous about being around her, and my stomach began to turn.

She showed up sometime later, and I got into her car. She started talking to me but I didn't want to answer, so we stated arguing. She asked me if I wanted to stay at her house with her and her roommate. that's the thing no one ever understood, I couldn't be around her roommate, she made me so jealous that I couldn't help myself. All I could say was "I don't know what I want to do Spence." Because I was scared to admit I wanted to be around her. Eventually she took me back to my house, where we sat in the car and talked for a while. She ended up pissing me off, so I exited the car, and went and sat on a hill in my backyard. She made her way into my house with my bags and assured my family I was home. Then she got back in her car and drove off.

As soon as she was out of my sight I called her

" spence, please don't leave me!"

She tried to calm me down but I didn't want to. I sat on the hill the whole time talking to her. she reassure me that I should go to bed, and she would be over tomorrow morning to take me out to breakfast before I have to go to school.

So I went to sleep and woke up on time, got ready and waited for her. She hadn't shown up yet and I was beginning to get mad so I pulled out my cell phone.

"U still coming?"

She didn't say anything. I had it In the back of my mind that she was going to blow me off. I didn't know what to do, but get mad. So I texted her again.

"u cant say ur going 2 do something then not do it, that's bull."