My missed opportunity

Everybody knew about the Booty Call thing. I mean, news travel fast at the hospital, but the two most attractive attendings deciding to pick out an intern each to have sex with? It was a matter of seconds until everybody knew.

Well, that is not completely true. Most people thought of Dr. Reid as the most attractive female attending. Hell, you could ask literally anyone, even the Janitor. However, Dr. Dorian was… different. Only few people would put him before… well, anyone else. Because there was Dr. Cox and nobody could resist the 'bad-ass routine' that man was showing off and then there were quite a lot of surgeons with skilled hands that nobody would want to disregard…

I did. I was able to resist Dr. Cox and I was able to disregard about every surgeon, because none of them did it for me.

Who did it for me was Dr. Dorian. Sweet, innocent, clumsy Dr. Dorian with the big puppy dog eyes.

I knew that there was no chance in hell for me to really go out with him. People who acted as gay as him were either out of the closet or just pretending to be girlish like that and I new for a fact that he was not out. But there is always that slight chance and also, the girls in my group of interns were not exactly the most good looking. Whereas I considered myself moderately attractive and he had acknowledged my physique this morning!

Maybe he would chose me just because there were no women whose looks were good enough to make it a better experience than sleeping with a guy. Maybe, just maybe, he would notice me like that and then realize that he actually liked men and since I would have been the one to make him see that, he would…

"Keith! Dorian and Reid want us in the lounge, now!", Rex nervously announced while dragging me away from my patient.

Oh God. They wanted to chose two of us now? Oh God and I was looking like crap! Unfortunately it was too late for me to make myself look presentable, because as soon as Rex let go of my shirt in the doctors' lounge, Dr. Reid and J.D. appeared.

Cue wind machine and gentle lights in my head. And yes, he was naked in my "every guy I meet and find sexy" routine. For fairness sakes, so was everyone else.

Our attendings were looking at us. Scrutinizing, criticizing, judging us. My heart was beating in my throat and my hands were sweating. I know, it is really bad to get sweaty hands if nervous when you are a doctor. But I could not control myself. I wanted him to notice me, notice me for being a nice looking guy, for being good enough to be a Booty Call…

"J.D. I really don't wanna do this!", Dr. Reid started whining and I had to refrain myself from jumping her and holding her mouth shut. She was not allowed to make this opportunity go away!

"Can't we just go home and put on our P.J.'s and watch Grey's Anatomy?", she went on and as soon as Dr. Dorian joined in talking about that stupid TV show, I saw my chances getting slimmer and slimmer…

He was not going to chose me. He would not chose any of us, but most importantly, he would not allow me into his bed or let me drag him into my bed. He would not let me get any closer to him. Dr. Reid had blown my one-time opportunity off…

The scary part happened about an hour later when Dr. Reid dragged me into a supply closet, shoved her address into my scrubs' pocket and told me to be at her doorstep at nine.

I turned up on time. And we had sex. No offence, it was good sex, even though I was not really into women and I was also not into being the top part. It was good under those circumstances, even though I did not really get why she had me open two packets of condoms, blow them up and then put them in the trash, but make a pile of the wrappers in front of the couch.

It was not like I could have said no. She was my boss and anyone would have told me to do it in order to not face her neurotic wrath. I still would have preferred Dr. Dorian. God, I would have gladly let him actually use all those condoms in one night, one after the other.

The opening and closing of a door pulled me out of my thoughts and I put the pan on the counter top before I turned around to see who had entered the room. Elliot had told me about having a roommate and I guess she wanted me to say Hi to her and I knew it was better to do exactly as she…

Fuck! Double fuck! Triple fuck! Whatever fuck!

Dr. Reid was living with… Dr. Dorian! J.D. was the roommate Elliot had told me to be quiet for!

"Why is he wearing my robe?", Dr. Dorian pressed out, obviously mad. Oh my God, I was wearing his robe! Elliot had told me it was her roommate's and Dr. Dorian was her roommate, which meant I was wearing J.D.'s pink robe!

"It fits me?", I accidentally replied, nervously tightening the rope around my middle.

I was wearing clothes on my naked body that had touched his naked body! Completely dazed my that thought I let Elliot pull me onto the sofa and immediately Dr. Dorian started to rant. It seemed like she had known he would want to blow off steam.

The thing about the "stud alert" after finding the two condoms we had actually used (Elliot thought the first one had a tear, because I had opened it with my teeth) made me flush. I mean, the guy I had been dreaming about for about half a year was calling me a stud and even though I knew he wanted it to sound sarcastic, it made me feel kind of good about myself. Not that I had any reason to.

J.D. was mad at me for having sex with Elliot. Probably because… Yeah, dream on, Keith. It was probably because he still had feelings for her and did not want some intern to steal her away. There was no use in false hope, he was not caring about me getting it on with someone else. It would just hurt more later if I let myself believe that maybe he was mad because he had not had the guts to be the one to make a Booty Call on me.

He did not fucking care about me.

I decided to be a good lap dog for Elliot. She would not let me go, no matter what I did and at least this way I was probably able to enjoy work more, maybe not have to do as much as I had been doing. Not that I was slacking off, it was just hard to do my own work, Rex's work and then all the stuff Dr. Reid and Dr. Dorian made me do "for funsies" as they called it.

I knew Elliot had not said she wanted no cream in her coffee, but what was the point in arguing? Bringing her coffee was like vacation from all the other things I had to do and nobody could tell how long the line at the coffee machine would be, so I was able to just rest in front of the patient's room Dr. Reid and Dr. Dorian had been in and do what I loved doing: Listen to J.D. talk.

"…it's like having a sex puppy", I heard Elliot utter and knew my cheeks were turning pink for she was positively referring to me. After that there was a moment of silence until Dr. Reid went on. "What's your problem?"

"I got to tell you, I can't stand that guy…", Dr. Dorian answered and I felt something in my chest sink. They were still talking about me, not even I could make myself believe they were not. And the man I had the biggest crush of my life on was saying he could not stand me?

Fuck, that hurt a lot more than I had thought. I tried to leave quickly after that. I did not want to hear any more of that. J.D. did not like me. He was not in love with me and he did not even like me as a person. He could not stand me. I hated that thinking that brought tears to my eyes and I tried to straighten myself and turned around as soon as I noticed I had taken off in the wrong direction.

And suddenly, Dr. Reid left the room as I was passing it and told me to follow her. No questions needed about what she was going to do with me…

Dr. Dorian mocking me later about having killed some random guy was not bringing me down any more. At least that is what I was telling myself. I mean, I was pretty much already hitting rock bottom. I had made him hate me and probably made him realize he still wanted Elliot in just one day! Oh, I was such a stud…