G o d f o r s a k e n





D a y O n e





'O God, why hast thou forsaken me?'













Duo sighed noisily, hoping to break the deafening silence. The air around them recoiled from the sound, and then swallowed it in a gulp. They had been driving through this Godforsaken wasteland for over two days, and frankly Duo was getting tired of seeing the same barren forest surrounding them on all sides.

A week before, they had been given a mission. If that hadn't been a bad thing in and of itself, the fact that it was their first mission in over three years was even worse. Oz had disbanded, and all of their enemies had been destroyed. There were not to be any more missions, but here the five young men were, driving towards an unknown English countryside as if they were in an ancient black and white movie were there was no sound. There was no sound, and you had to try to read the subtitles in time to how quickly they were speaking. If you couldn't keep up, you'd miss out on something that could have been vital to the movie that you were trying to understand.

That was how Duo felt anyways. He felt like they were trapped inside a soundless dream without color. In truth, it actually seemed like a black and white world. It was the middle of a biting, black winter. Frost hung off the trees like crystal tears, and the sky was muffled by a gray blanket. The trees were black, and so was the car they were in. If Hiiro's heart was a landscape, Duo thought with sudden humor, this was what it would look like.

They had driven through the English countryside before, but during the summer when it was warm and accepting. It had been a beautiful drive through the countryside, like how they describe it in all the British movies and books. The hills had been splashed with green and dotted with rolling fields of flowers. The Englishman they had been with had been a true gentleman, and his wife had been the very image of a proper lady.

Not, of course, that Duo even liked proper ladies. It had merely been an observation made in the very middle of all the polite nothingness and stifling boredom. He would, however, take the stiff-necked gentleman and his wife over this place any day.

He felt a hand touch his arm, and looked over at Quatre, who was looking ahead with wide blue eyes. Puzzled, Duo looked ahead, expecting---what? He really didn't know. All he knew was that this place felt wrong. It felt cold, wrong, and he knew with a sudden certainty that they needed to forget the mission and turn around. They needed to make a U-turn and drive away from the mansion rising on the hilltop in front of them.

But they didn't. They burst through the edge of the forest into an equally barren field. In many ways, the field wasn't any different than the forest. Hiiro parked the car at the bottom of the hill, and Duo reluctantly got out of the car. As he had expected, the earth was as hard as stone. It was covered by a fine dusting of frost, and dead brown grass stuck unevenly out of the ground below it. The brown stretched on forever, Duo saw with a sinking heart. The silent manor stood tall in front of them, beckoning to them. It was calling out to them to hurry towards the door, and was at the same time sobbing to them to run. Run, run, run and never come back.

Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, and Hiiro started forwards up the winding path towards the large double doors. Trailing behind them, Duo forced his feet to take the next step, trying to convince himself that he was being stupid. The house was not going to be their deaths. That was absolutely ridiculous. Houses were only houses, even if they were called mansions or manors. They were only houses even if they were settled on a dead hill days away from civilization.

Biting his lip to keep himself from voicing his worries, he climbed the stone steps, again certain that he was walking the steps towards his doom. Pushing his inner voice down, he focused on Hiiro's messy hair and tried not to shudder when Quatre banged the knocker against the door. He knocked once and then took a respectful step back.

The door did not move for a great many seconds, and when Duo had dared to hope that no one was home, the door swung open, revealing a woman.

Just a woman, you would scoff. But no, she was not a woman. Maybe she was pretending to be a woman, but no one could look that cold and stay alive. Duo tried to keep his mouth from dropping open as he stared at her.

She was wearing a red evening gown that rippled to the ground. Tiny red shoes peeped out from under the hem. Long black hair fell to her back, and great ebony eyes gazed out of a beautiful, pale face. Ruby lips twitched upon seeing her visitors, but it was her eyes that terrified Duo. Those black marbles stared at them with absolutely no life whatsoever. Duo glanced over at Hiiro and compared to two. Upon a moment's thought, he decided that he would cry himself to sleep if he had to live with the woman with raven hair.

A thin black eyebrow raised slightly. "Welcome to the Rosethorn Manor. What is your business?"

"We're here looking for someone named Serenity," Hiiro said shortly.

The dead eyes didn't waver a bit, but stayed fastened on Hiiro's face. "Serenity," she breathed. "Serenity," she repeated. "Well isn't that amusing."

She didn't look amused at all, Duo thought to himself. She didn't look like anything, actually. The woman in the red dress simply looked like a robot. Or, he thought suddenly, one of those trees come to life.

"Yes," Quatre was saying, "we're here to see Serenity. We're to give her information on someone named Endymion."

The woman didn't even flinch at the name. "Oh really. Well," she said finally, "I suppose you had better come in and warm up. The winter can get to us all, sometimes," she said cryptically. "I'll send someone for Serenity. She really hasn't been all that well lately," she stated. It didn't sound like an apology, exactly. It sounded like she was stating a fact.

When he saw the inside of the manor, he couldn't help but gape. It looked like a page out of one of the history book pictures showing one palace or another. Great tapestries were draped on the walls, depicting lions, women, and men. A winding marble staircase was covered with a wide red carpet. It looked like a place fit for a queen.

And it was as cold as a tomb.

The five men circled the main greeting hall, feeling varying degrees of awe. A slight whimper caught Duo's ear, and he turned towards it. There was the sound of a tiny, muffled sob, and then silence.

Breaking into their thoughts, the woman from before glided down the stairs. Hiiro stood up straighter, but she walked right by them towards a bell. She tapped it, and watched a doorway off to the right expectantly. A maid came bustling into the room. She was wearing the traditional maid costume, but her long black sleeves and long skirt were in sharp contrast to the red woman's bare arms and red dress.

The woman said something to the maid, who nodded and hurried up the grand staircase and to the left. The Red Woman traced the maid's progress with her eyes and then turned back to a thoroughly confounded Duo. She still didn't smile, but stared at them unblinkingly.

"Serenity will be down shortly," she said with that clipped, precise speech.

"No need to be short with the poor dears, Rei. They've just come in from the forest. They must be tired and hungry," said a melodic voice from the staircase.

All six of them turned. The Red Woman, Rei, curtsied. "Serenity," she said softly.

Before them, just stepping off the last marble step, was the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. Long silver hair cascaded down from two heart shaped buns perched atop her head. She was bare armed, just like Rei. Serenity was wearing a silky looking white dress with a high waistline. Gold rings circled her chest, and a long rippling bow fell in liquid waves from her low back to spill onto the floor. Her face was as white as Rei's, but it was, after all, wintertime. She stepped daintily across the floor to them and extended her hand.

"Hello," she said with a tiny smile.

Duo almost closed his eyes, just wanting to listen to the music of her voice as it danced through his mind. Before Hiiro or anyone else could do anything, he took her hand and almost dropped it. Duo smiled his charmer smile and dropped a kiss on the back of her hand and withdrew quickly, trying discreetly to wipe the feel of her hand from his own. Her hand had been ice-cold, and had felt like he was kissing a block of partly frozen water.

One by one, the other pilots shook her hand but didn't seem to notice the cold. Serenity spoke to them with her sweet voice, urging them to stay the night. Confident in the fact that Hiiro would deliver the information and leave, Duo paid no attention to the goings on, until he head Quatre saying the damning word.

"Yes."

Duo's head snapped up, and he flinched backwards when he found Rei's cold stare trained on him. Serenity was still talking, and he forced himself to listen. Rei's attention slipped away from his almost that instant.

"---you've come at a terribly awkward time, I hate to say. You must understand, we were just preparing for a dinner party of sorts, but you're invited to join if you should like. I would be eternally grateful. It takes place in seven days. Oh, how foolish of me! I must ask for your names, or else I won't be able to announce you at the dinner table tonight."

"Hiiro Yui."

"Wufei Chang."

"Trowa Barton."

"My name is Quatre Rabera Winner, and I am very pleased to meet your acquaintance, Lady Serenity."

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Winner, I'm sure. And what is your name, silent one?" she asked Duo with a small smile.

The last thing that he wanted to do was give her his name. No matter what the others thought, he still did not trust the smiling woman and the creature with lifeless eyes.

"I really don't know what my name is," he confessed, "but everyone calls me Duo Maxwell."

Serenity nodded, looking thoughtful. "I see. How terribly horrible it must be to lose yourself," she said sympathetically, but her eyes were not on Duo. Her eyes were gazing up the stairs. Giving her head a little shake, she refocused on the braided man.

"I am looking forwards to seeing you at dinner tonight," she announced, "but I must prepare. Rei, please call someone to take them to their rooms."

"Of course," Rei said immediately.

Serenity smiled gratefully and climbed the red staircase and then turned to the left. Rei touched the tiny bell again, and a servant was there almost immediately.

"Ma'am," the man said respectfully.

"Take them to their rooms. The third floor." Her eyes flashed at him, and he nodded respectfully.

"Yes ma'am. Third floor. Haven't had anyone on the third floor in such a long while, yes indeedy, yes indeedy!" he caroled merrily.

Duo shifted uncomfortably, but followed the man up the stairs. The servant was talking, Duo suddenly realized. Pushing his mind back towards the present, he stared at the man's bent back.

"This is the Grand Staircase! It's the way you get to each of the three elevators! You can't get anywhere without going down this staircase, and Serenity knows when you do! Yes indeedy! My laws, it's true! A poor girl tried to escape last year by this staircase. The chit actually made it out the door, but Serenity knew! Yes, she did! Haven't seen her since. Ah! And here we are at the Junction! You can either go right or left. Left is where Elevator 3 is. That's how you get to each of the Ladies' rooms. There're five of them in all, and there's one guestroom on each of the floors. Well, except on Serenity's floor of course, that wouldn't do at all. There's rumored to be a hidden floor where they hid the little missus, but that happened oh, about a few years back, and no one believes it. No normal person can go up that Elevator without Serenity or one of the Ladies knowing. To the right is were servants like me live. There's a hallway separating the two halves of the manor, but no one's been able to find the entrance. Isn't gossip wonderful? I love gossip. The women say gossip is for women, but in places like this one has to keep oneself busy. And the Ladies never need anything, unless the sixth one wakes up, and that never happens!"

Duo was silent, hoping the man would continue with his stories. The man, as if he were directly defying his wishes, did not resume speaking. He did, however, herd them towards the Elevator and punch the third button on the control panel. Once they were all inside and behind the old-fashioned gates, he began to sing again.

"Elevator, elevator, don't fall down, down, down, down, down! Fly up high, high, high into the sky, sky, sky!" he sang.

Duo felt a cold hand crawl down his spine, and the hairs on his arm stood straight up as they passed the space between the first and second floors. Then they lay smooth against his arm and his back felt perfectly warm, considering the house's temperature. The servant pushed the door open and led them happily down the halls. He even skipped a little bit, humming a tuneless melody to himself as he went. Coming, finally, to a door labeled 201, he smiled hugely at Hiiro and opened the door for him.

Smiling cheerfully, he ushered Quatre towards room 203. Duo was pushed across the hall towards room 202. With a growing suspicion, Duo watched as Trowa was prodded into room 204. And, of course, Wufei was given room 205. Well. What a coincidence, he thought angrily.

These people were obviously playing with them, and for some reason Duo was the only one that was able to see it. Why the normally sharp Hiiro was just playing along, or why Quatre couldn't feel the absence of life in the air, he didn't know. Why Trowa couldn't see the unnaturalness in Rei's eyes or the beautiful false smile that Serenity bestowed, he didn't know. Why things were the way there were, he didn't know. He did, however, know one thing.

He knew nothing, and that was what he *did* know.





*





I write, and I write, and I write. Sometimes I wonder why I write with such a passion. I was never a great writer before, but now I can't stop myself. I write like a madwoman; I just can't stop my pen from flying across the lined sheets of paper. Most of the times I write about my life. An auto-biography that will never be finished. I will die here, and my work will be incomplete. No one will know I was ever here, except for the smiling faces that feed me, clothe me, wash me, and put me to sleep.

I think that's the most horrible thing about this trap. I sleep my way through eternity. The smiling faces know the instant I wake, and I usually have time enough to jot down a random thought before a stranger comes and sends me back to sleep. I've been in this bed for as long as I can remember, except for those seventeen short years when I knew what was going on.

Since then it's been---it's been what? Do I even know? The answer is no. No, I don't know. I know many, many things. After all, it's not like I don't have time to think. Over these past years I've come to know myself so well that I'm not even me anymore. I'm not aware of my thoughts, my heartbeat, or the strangeness of certain feelings.

No scientist would ever be able to figure that out. If one is to learn about themselves to the extent I have, you have to be alone with your thoughts for so many years. I have been thinking, and I have thought. Since it is impossible for me to have lived long enough for this to happen, I can only assume that I am dead. But sometimes, when the smiling faces come, I know I am not dead. I remembering being a good person during life, and I can't pretend this is heaven.

I imagine that Heaven is a wondrous place, filled with people who were equally wonderful. All there is here are strangers and smiling faces.

Sometimes, I think I know why I'm driven to write. I think it's her idea of a sick joke. I think she's punishing me for all those years ago. I tried to escape all those years ago, but the smiling face with the dead eyes caught me in rings of fire. As much as it should have, it didn't hurt. Even before that I got out of this room, and was stopped by chains of gold hearts and white lightning. Another time I was frozen inside a block of ice. That was the longest time I had ever slept.

But the writing. Yes, I'm sure it's her idea of a joke. She's in her room right now, laughing at me with that fake smile and those horrible empty eyes. I see her in the mirror sometimes. I see her now.

She's watching me. She's watching me, and she knows that I'm awake. I sit here and wait for a stranger to come and put me back to sleep, but no one comes. She just sits there, brushing her hair. One stroke, one hundred strokes; she sits before her mirror, watching me, waiting until her hair looks like silk. That's the only time I see her. When she's in front of her mirror. I think I look a little bit like her, but not so much anymore.



Whenever the man with the bent back sends me to sleep, he tells me stories. He's a very good storyteller, and he tells me about the first time he saw me and Lady Silver together. He said that if I had died my hair silver and changed my hair just a little bit, I would have passed for her twin. Now her once peach skin is dead white, and mine is still brown from the sun I saw once a long time ago. Her silver hair is silky and smooth, and mine hangs in tangled blonde ropes to my ankles. Her eyes are a cold, cold silver, and mine are blue, I think. Her skin is smooth and perfect, while my body is scarred with burns and heart shaped chain marks. It looks like their attacks hurt my body, but didn't hurt me.

Does that make any sense? I think it does not. Sometimes Lady Silver frightens me. She talks to me about things she has done and will do later. Sometimes the things are as harmless as getting a new maid, but when she says that, her eyes flash and she looks hungry. Other times she talks about things I couldn't care less about. Like right now she's telling me about five men who have come to her with news of Endymion.

Wait. Endymion. Endymion, Endymion, Endymion, Endymion, Endymion. That name sounds vaguely familiar. I sit thinking, trying once again to place a name to a face long gone. Fishing through my memory, I finally pull up a face with lively blue eyes and black hair; like a raven's wing. Mamoru. Endymion. I think he did something Silver didn't like. Maybe he tried to rescue me? Oh, I don't know.

Now she's rapping on the glass and shouting at me. If this is what I have to endure every time I wake up, maybe it would be best if I just stayed in bed and never woke up. The shouting is hurting my ears. Someone will hear, and send me to sleep. That won't do at all. I like being awake, even if all I can do is write.

I'm going to turn the mirror around so I can't see her, and she can't see me. There. I've done it. She's stopped shouting, but I'm afraid to turn it back around. She might only shout if she can see me.

Oh God no. I'm jumping up, looking for a place to hide. There are footsteps outside my door! They've come to put me to sleep! I'm spinning my mirror back around and pounding on the glass. Silver is staring at me in shock as one of my fists goes through the mirror and I grab her hair.

I've got her! I've got her! I'll kill her for putting me through this! I'll kill her! Her mouth is open, and she's screaming and struggling to free her hair from my fist. My mouth is open too, and I'm screaming, sobbing, trying to tell her that I'm going to kill her and that I just don't want to sleep again! I realize my pen is writing without my help, and now I'm screaming in terror, rage, and horrible, horrible pain.

I'm all jumbled up and I can't think! My pen is spinning out of control! The smiling face with blonde hair bursts into the room with her heart chain! She's going to send me back to sleep! I try to pull myself the rest of the way through the mirror, but Silver has something sharp and shiny in her hand. She's cutting my fingers, but I'll do anything not to go back to sleep. The smiling face's chain grabs my ankle and pulls me back. I won't let go of her hair. I won't! If I go, she goes! She's screaming at someone named Makoto to do something, and then the door opens again. My world lights up and then---

*

*

Duo's head whipped up as a scream tore through the house. It was a scream of pure terror. Seconds later, a second scream joined with the first. The second scream was a jumbled, messy thing; full of raw grief, fear, and rage. It was the sound an enraged animal would make if threatened.

Suddenly the second was cut off, and the first trailed off to deep shuddering sobs. Duo stuck his head out of the door just in time to see two beautiful woman walk past his door. They both stopped and turned in sync to face him.

"Who are you? The brown haired one demanded.

"That wasn't nice Makoto," the blonde said softly.

Duo studied them carefully. This house was scaring him. The brown haired one had white skin, just like the blonde. She had gorgeous brown hair pulled up into a ponytail that curled down to her shoulders. She, like the other women he'd seen in the house, was wearing a green evening dress with green shoes. Her eyes were dark green orbs that stared accusingly at him.

The blonde was very shapely, more so than her companion. She had thick blonde hair that tumbled haphazardly down to her waist. Blue eyes teetered on the edge of death as they twinkled weakly at him. Her curves were contained in an orange dress that hugged her upper body and then loosened at her hips and pooled on the floor like liquid cloth.

They, in turn, studied him with critical eyes until he cleared his throat. "I'm Duo Maxwell," he announced.

The blonde smiled. It was a false, plastic smile. "Marvelous to meet you, Duo Maxwell. My name is Minako. This is my companion, Makoto. Now, if you'll excuse us, we must see to Serenity."

With that, they turned in unison and continued down the hall. Frowning, he exited his room and followed them. Just as he was passing the staircase, he heard raised voices. Pressing himself against the wall, he watched the scene unfold below him.

In the greeting hall there stood a woman with short blonde hair in a tuxedo. Next to her stood another beautiful woman with wavy aqua hair wearing a turquoise dress. Behind her and slightly to the left stood a younger girl with straight purple hair that fell to just above her shoulders. Large violet eyes skipped across the room, returning each time to the woman in front of them. She, unlike the others, was not wearing a dress. She was wearing a black T-shirt and black pants. Her waist was encircled by a black belt, studded with triangular silver buttons.

The woman blocking them from entering further had short blue hair and cold blue eyes, just like the other four women in the house. Dead. White as a ghost. Unfeeling.

"I want to see Koneko! Now!" the Tuxedo Woman roared.

The blue haired woman didn't move a muscle. "You must regain control of your emotions, Haruka. I've explained to you repeatedly what has happened. Serenity will be down to greet you in a few moments. Minako and Makoto are trying to bring her around. She had a horrible scare, you know."

Haruka grit her teeth. "I don't want to see Serenity, Ami!" she ground out.

The aqua haired woman touched Haruka's shoulder and turned to Ami. "That was not what Haruka meant. She meant that we simply wanted to see Koneko."

Ami didn't look at the aqua haired woman. "Michiru, I think Haruka can speak for herself. And I think that Haruka doesn't want to see Serenity. That, of course, is supremely disappointing."

Haruka took a step forwards. "Ami, you know damn well that I'm loyal to Serenity. I just want to see Koneko! Is that too much to ask? Hotaru, Michiru, Setsuna and I haven't seen her in years!"

Ami didn't flinch. "Actually, it is too much to ask. She's just been through a great ordeal, and is now resting. If you'd like, I can show you to your customary rooms."

Damn, was everyone in this house like that? Duo wanted to bang Ami's head against a wall. Any wall, as long as she would wake up and see what was right in front of her. He'd slam her head time after time until she remembered that normal people had emotions.

"This house draws you, doesn't it?" someone asked in his ear.

Swearing softly, he whirled to face a smiling woman in a maroon dress. She swung her thick green hair over her shoulders and studied him.

"You're wondering what it wrong with this house? Ah, but isn't that what everyone wants to know? To find that out, you'll have to find more than the truth. But the truth is generally worse than the lies that hide it, is it not? I know. I always know, don't I? I have to know. I have to know everything. But watch your back, boy. The truth of this place is one of the things that don't want to be discovered. Now go to your room before Serenity finds you here. Oh, Duo? Take my advice. Don't go to the dinner in seven days. Make yourself sick. Kill yourself. I really don't care. Just don't go to her dinner party."

"But aren't you going?" he finally managed to ask.

"Oh, but I will be able to stand the music played. You will not, unless you want a live of servitude to this house. Your room, Duo," she reminded him.

Then she was gone, and he was left standing alone in the hallway, wondering just what the Perfect Soldier had gotten them into this time. Disappearing women, screams in the night, and shouting visitors dressed for a party.

Cursing the day he met Hiiro, he went back up the elevator and down the hallway towards his rooms. As he walked along the hallway, it suddenly occurred to him that it would be very, very easy to get lost in these halls. Feeling eyes on his back, he spun. He could have sworn that he saw a frightened face, but it was gone the second he tried to focus on it. Chalking it down to his imagination, he continued along down the hall.

Passing Hiiro's room, he heard a small groan. Frowning to himself, he turned and twisted the doorknob. The door swung open at his lightest touch. Strange, seeing the room was Hiiro's.

"Hii-man?" he whispered.

There was no answer. Venturing further into the room, he realized that it smelled wrong. He couldn't place the smell, but it seemed familiar. The air hung heavily around him, and the faintly orange light poured into the dark room through the open door, making him feel like someone was going to sneak up on him and knife him in the back.

"Hiiro?" he asked again.

His answer, this time, was a groan. His dread growing in his stomach, Duo forced himself into the room. And then his jaw dropped. Hiiro was lying on the floor in a fetal position, breathing heavily. A gasp worked its way out of Duo's mouth, and he dropped to the ground beside Hiiro and felt his forehead. Upon contact, Duo swore loudly and yanked his hand away as if stung.

Hiiro was as cold as death.