Hey there, everyone. So this is my very first attempt at anything remotely like this. Please be kind, but I'd love for you to give me a couple pointers or offer advice on what you think I should fix. Thanks so very much for reading. :}
Yeah, yeah, we all know that I don't actually own any of this, except for my gal. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing this. So, don't sue me. We be poor.
Looking back now, it's hard to remember my days before meeting him. How did I ever spend my time, and with whom did I spend that time? How was my life at home, my relationship with my family? And was it always this bad? No, impossible. It couldn't have always been like this…It wasn't. I was old enough, when we still lived back in my birth country, America, to remember that things weren't always this way. It seems odd to think that my father and I had a relationship, once. That there was a time when my mother told me she was proud of me, loved me, and cherished me. That for most of my life, my older sister and I were inseparable, possessing a sisterly bond like no other. It feels as if all of that occurred decades ago, so old that even the memories, once so vivid, are beginning to slowly fade away. But even as time continues to dig away at those faint memoirs, even now, it will never change the facts. That was my life. That's how things were. I've always been one who found the truth to be stranger than the fiction. It's no surprise.
I cannot recall a precise day, week, or even month when my life at home started collapsing in on itself. But I do know why. Don't be ridiculous. You think that as soon as he appeared everything started going wrong? That his very presence transformed me? Yes, it made me so hateful to the world, so ignorant of others, so recklessly dangerous that I was a threat not only to myself, but to others around me, right? Please. Spare me. It's not as if he was surrounded by some mystical aura that would overtake anyone unfortunate enough to cross his path and seize them to do naughty things against their will. I've always looked at Alex as someone who could do anything. But even he couldn't do that. And if he couldn't, who could? No, it wasn't him. It was me. I made my choices. I made the decisions. Of course, you could argue that it was because of him that I was given the options, the temptations, but in the end, only I was responsible for my actions. I blame him for nothing, and never will. Most of you now are scoffing at me, I'm sure, murmuring something about naïve, stupid young teenagers who are blinded by, or what is their idea of, "love". I've heard it all before, so, please, don't feel the need to hold back. Believe me, I won't be offended. I've learned that arguing this particular topic with my "elders" is a waste of time, energy, and breath. They won't understand, don't try to, and I don't expect them to.
However, I'll let you in on a little something; I do know what love is. I know what it's like to truly love, and to be truly loved in return. I know the feeling of being content just to lie next to someone in the dark, hearing only the sounds of a light rain tapping quietly against the roof and the calm, gentle exhale of the person who holds you close. I know what it's like to silently commit yourself to them, to inwardly promise to do anything for them, and the sheer thrill, exhilaration and terror that follows when you do just that. I know what it's like to defend what's yours at all costs. I know the most beautiful of all feelings when this is mutual. That's what love is. It will change you, for better or for worse. That much is inevitable. It's up to you to make the decisions that will decide how it will change. I've already made mine. Regrets or not, what's done is done. Have I lived my life to the max, has it been the best it could be? Or have I ruined what little time I have on this Earth and made life seem more like a slow, painful disease which I must suffer through each and every day? You be the judge and decide for yourself. In my mind, I already know the answer.
OOC: Yeahh, this is really short and kinda lame...Sorry. It'll get better, hopefully. I don't know when I can get more chapters up...hoefully this Friday night or Saturday. Things are crazy right now. Well, thanks for reading. Please review. That would be awesome. :}
