Bonheur
Just know that every time I look in your eye, I see better, I see better, better days
...
When Mikasa woke up, it was already night. The moon was shining through the window, casting figures on the cold, dark floor. Her soon to be husband was snoring lightly beside her, and she felt jealous over how his freedom. Her hand fell down to her swollen stomach, caressing it slowly. Inside her was now two humans, two lives that she had to protect, no matter what. The burden felt suddenly too much. There were so many people she had to protect; Eren, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Levi, and now the two precious lives inside of her. Even if she knew she wasn't, she suddenly fell so alone, as if she alone was responsible for everything in the world. Her chest felt too tight, and it was getting hard for her to breathe. With wobbling steps she ran to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. A second after she threw up her supper, tears pushing out of her eyes.
"I can't do this" she whispered to herself as tears flowed down her pale cheeks. "I'm not a mother."
It had been a week since she threw up over her doctor, and every day had felt like a struggle. Even if she was only 26 weeks pregnant, her stomach was huge. Every fibre in her body seemed to resist the pregnancy; her muscles hurt, her breast were aching and she couldn't keep any food inside for longer than an hour. It was horrible, and sometimes she resented the children inside her that had taken over her body without even asking for permission.
"Why do you do this to me?" she looked down at her stomach and tapped it lightly "Please, I love you so much already, but please don't hurt me like this."
"The babies giving you a bad time?" Mikasa looked up and saw Levi standing in front of her, a worried look on his face. She nodded silently and bit her lip. She knew that she was lucky to have Levi beside her. He had taken everything so well; when they found out that they were expecting twins he had shrugged and mumbled something in the lines of 'now the other one will have someone to play with' and continued reading his report. Mikasa had not taken the news so lightly. She had thrown up, fainted and then cried for hours. It wasn't until Eren had had a serious talk with her that she had began to accept that she was having twins and didn't have to be a bad thing.
Levi sat down next to her, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. They didn't need words to communicate, he knew that she felt like utter shit, and that all she needed was someone to lean on.
"It'll get better, I promise" he whispered and pressed a light kiss on her temple. Mikasa didn't answer, she was too exhausted. She didn't even complain when Levi picked her up and carried her back to bed, even if she usually hated it because it made her feel weak. He tucked her in and laid down next to her, and it didn't take long before he was sleeping. Mikasa was awake for hours, and didnät fall asleep until the early rays of sunshine hit her face.
Hi! Sorry for the long wait, my computer was stolen and I had to buy a new one. Sucks to be me haha. Sorry for the short chapter, I just wanted to start this story as soon as possible.
- Janni
The chapter was written while these songs played
i. Teflon Brothers / Maradona (Kesä '86) ii. BlasterJaxx / faith iii. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike / CHATTAHOOCHEE iv. Egotrippi / Matkustaja v. Oskar Linnros / För Sent
