Jasper:

I watched Alice dance past me, her hands clenched around the shirt she was going to wear to school today. I lay on the bed, my cheek against my palm as I watched my pixie examine herself in the mirror.

It was the usual routine for the past four years and countless others as we attended human school. Alice would start getting ready at four o clock, trying on a million things and asking my opinion. Which was always the same, I told her she looked beautiful and she would laugh. Then we would pack in Emmett's Jeep or Rosalie's Convertible or Edward's Volvo and drive off to our farce as humans at Forks high.

But this year it would be different. Rosalie, Emmett and I were supposed to have graduated and to be attending college in differ rent places around the world. Edward, Alice and Edward's new love Bella were to be seniors. Now I would have to occupy my time for hours until Alice was done with school.

She shook her head as she whipped a jacket over her shoulders, smiling at her reflection.

She flitted to me, her hands sliding down my chest as she sat in between my legs. Her bouncy short hair brushed across her neck as she looked down at me. "What are you going to do today"? She sang as I shrugged under her small hands.

"Help Carlisle organize his study, clean with Esme, read, I'm not sure". I muttered as she smiled brightly.

"Ohh.. Fun". She teased shaking her head. Her hand glided through my hair lightly. "Wish I could join you". She whispered as her eyes flashed up and down my face, resting finally on my eyes.

"You'll have fun at school my little actress". I whispered wrapping my arms around her waist as she giggled. I held her firmly in place as she glanced back at the clock on the wall.

"I better get going." She frowned as she looked back at me. "I've got to give Bella her present". She smiled deviously.

We all knew Bella hated attention, especially over something like her birthday. She told Alice numerous times how she didn't want a party, presents or any mention of her age. Alice of course ignored it and planned for an extravagant party tonight. "Maybe you should wait till she gets here". I said leaning my head to the side, looking into her deep thoughtful eyes. "You know she hates it when you make things a big deal".

"So"? Alice said brightly, her grin widening. "You only turn eighteen once, she should remember it". She glanced back at the clock, her expression becoming sullen. "I've got to get going Jaz". She whispered looking back at me slowly.

I smirked, my hands locking behind her back, keeping her held to me. Her body was so small; she was like a little doll in my hands. With all her vampire strength she couldn't break my grasp. The only thing she had on me was her speed, and I would not loosen my grip on her so that she could run from me. I laughed as she shook her head.

She giggled lightly, her head bowing down toward me, her lips pursed, pressing against mine as I sighed.

I kissed her lips lightly, as my hands loosened, falling from the waist to the bed. "Very well". I muttered as she glided to her feet.

As she stood over the bed staring down at me, she shook her head. "Only six more hours". She said with a weak smile as I shrugged.

"Might as well be a hundred years". I said as she smiled brightly, kissing me again.

"Oh one thing love". She whispered as she floated to the door. "If Esme asks you to help her with the party will you"?

"Sure". I muttered leaning back on the bed as she danced out the door and down the stairs.

I listened to her light footsteps echoing through the Garage and the roar of the engine as she started the car.

An hour passed as I lay still on the bed staring at the ceiling. The sounds of my family members moving around down stairs began to reach me and made the silence of my bedroom maddening. I jumped to my feet, floating toward the door.

"Esme". I called to our motherly figure as she walked silently across the floor toward the stairs.

"Yes Jasper"? She said pleasantly, her smile warm.

"Do you need anything of me? Anything I can do in preparation of tonight"?

Her smile only grew, and I could feel a rush of pride and love flow from her. "Yes dear. If you would like to help me that would be wonderful".

I nodded obediently falling into step as we glided down the stairs. Esme was so much a mother to me despite the fact she was just a few years older. She was more so a mother than my own, as my mother was a strict Southern woman beating morals and values into me from a young age. Esme was different; she didn't ask me to do things I was uncomfortable with or pressure me with input in conversation. She looked at me as a middle child, a favorite only second to Edward whom was the one she considered her youngest child. Despite the fact he was made before her.

We walked into the kitchen, Esme quickly whipping metal bowls from the cabinets and placing them on the counter.

"Do you suppose Bella would want a cake"? She said lightly as I shrugged.

If it were me I would have preferred a jungle cat, for obvious reasons as to my diet. And If I were in my former life, I would have liked a trim young female pulsing with hot sweet blood. My throat burned as I tried to push the thought from my mind. Thinking of such things still made the venom pool in my mouth and my muscles tense all over. I knew I definitely needed to go hunting before Bella arrived.

"I guess". I muttered as she nodded thumbing through one of her many cook books.

As we began testing out different recipes, I felt myself growing more excited. It had been a long time since any of us celebrated a birthday. The last one was Emmett which Alice and I were not even present for, and my own was back before I joined the Confederacy.

Esme then sent me off to decorate the driveway outside. Alice had specifically requested Japanese lanterns and bright pink flowers to make the occasion as girlie and bright as possible. As I strung the lanterns up the driveway, I let out a sigh. If Emmett were here he'd be laughing at me for doing such feminine tasks and challenge me to a fight as to 'reawaken my masculinity'. I laughed as the thought of Emmett and I dueling in the trees passed through my mind. He sure was far better company right now considering Edward, my only other young companion, was attached to Bella twenty four seven.

Hours passed quickly as I kept myself occupied doing different odd jobs around the house. Carlisle and I opened the large box of imported pink flowers, setting them up around the house just as Alice had ordered. Then I went about setting up thousands of candles and such so that they matched the image Alice had seen in her vision. Looking wearily around the living room, I felt myself let out a groan. It looked as if a pink fluffy cartoon character had thrown up; spewing its pink insides across every inch in the room, but this is what Alice wanted so I went along with it.

"Oooh... Very lovely, it's SOOOO pink". A booming voice echoed from the front door as I smirked. My adoptive brother had just arrived with his blond haired mate and I couldn't be more thrilled unless it was Alice coming into the house.

I spun on my heel, my fist colliding with his wide shoulder as we both laughed.

"Damn Alice went a little over board with the girlie stuff". Emmett said as his eyes danced around the room, an evil grin crawled up his features. "Bella's going to hate it".

I nodded turning to face Rosalie as she stood frowning in the doorway.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked around the room, her lips pursing into a tight line. I suppose everyone making a big deal about anybody but she was utterly repulsive to her. I smiled politely at her, reminding myself that she was indeed a lady and I needed to think of her as such. "Rosalie". I said with a nod as she looked at me, her face brightening a degree.

"Jasper. How are things"? She said, shaking her head, letting her long blond hair flow across her shoulder.

"Things are well. Though I must complain that losing my chess partner saddens me a bit. It isn't as fun playing against a mind reader and a psychic". I said smoothly as her face brightened even more. She was becoming much more cheerful despite my gift that I used to lighten her mood. Rosalie was actually quite tolerable when she chose to be, and playing chess with me brought her a mental challenge that she enjoyed.

"Well I suppose we can play a game or two while we're back." She said as she turned away fluttering to Esme who was in the kitchen decorating Bella's pink cake.

Emmett's fist thudded against my shoulder as he laughed. "Has your body got weak with all this decorating and house cleaning you've been doing in the past months"? He said shaking his head roughly.

I scoffed, my fists clenching at my sides. "Not at all brother, still strong as ever I have to say." I said looking into his eyes. "Watch and learn". I whispered darting out the window and sprinting into the trees as he raced after me.

After hunting for several more hours, and squeezing in the occasional fight, we returned home just around four. As I leaped into the window, I looked knowingly to Alice who was admiring the living room with a smile.

I glided behind her, my arms wrapping tightly around her waist as she looked over her shoulder at me. "Is it to your specifications"? I whispered into her ear, letting my lips brush against her skin.

She grinned widely, her body shifting as she turned to face me. "It is wonderful, Bella will think I did all this." She whispered running her hands over my jaw. "Perhaps you should go into the decorating business." She teased as I frowned.

"Not a chance". I muttered as she leaned up on her toes to kiss me.

As she drew back, her eyes examined my face carefully. "Did you hunt"? She said as her hands snaked through my hair.

"Yes I did". I said setting her carefully on her feet.

"That's good; they're going to be here very soon". She said as her grin grew. Excitement and anticipation flowed out of her as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "I think tonight will be a night none of us will forget, especially Bella". She said giggling lightly as she tugged on my hand pulling me up the stairs.

After Alice picked something out for me to wear that was 'suitable of the big night' we hurried downstairs to wait with the others.

I listened as Bella's truck pulled up the driveway and the groan that leaked from her lips. I squeezed Alice's hand as I mentally prepared myself for the overwhelming scent of her blood. I had almost lapsed when we were in Phoenix fighting with James. I think if I wasn't so preoccupied with destroying the tracker, I would have pounced on Bella's crushed, bleeding leg. I shook my head. The memory was not a pleasant one as even Alice almost faltered and attacked Bella. And she was far stronger than I.

I had no more time to think when Bella and Edward passed through the door and we all yelled "Happy Birthday Bella". I saw the distress pass over her features as Edward wrapped his arm around her comfortingly.

Esme glided toward Bella, hugging her tightly as the human girl smiled weakly. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her shoulders muttering quickly. "Sorry about this Bella, we couldn't rein Alice in". I smirked looking down at Alice as she grinned up at me.

"You haven't changed at all". Emmett teased as Bella looked at him. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red faced just like always".

"Thanks alot Emmett". Bella said blushing even more. I felt my body tense as I watched the blood rush to her skin; I wished she didn't do that so much.

"I'll have to step out for a second", He said winking to Alice. "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone".

"I'll try". Alice chimed beside me with a smirk. She released my hand and skipped over to Bella graceful as ever. I leaned back watching the exchange silently as the room fell silent. Bella looked at me, as I smiled wearily; my mind was too wrapped up in trying suppressing my thirst for her blood.

"Time to open presents". Alice said clenching Bella's arm firmly and dragging her to the table with all the presents. I saw Bella's expression had changed considerably as she looked over the mound of gifts.

"Alice I know I told you I didn't want anything-" She managed to squeeze out before Alice interrupted.

"But I didn't listen", She said her face smug. "Open it". Alice beamed, snatching the camera from Bella and placing a silver box in her empty hands.

"Um thanks." Bella whispered staring down at the empty box underneath the paper.

I couldn't help to stifle the laugh that followed. Sometimes she was very oblivious to the obvious, the draw back of being human. "It's a stereo for your truck." I explained carefully. "Emmett's installing it now so that you can't return it".

"Thanks Jasper, Rosalie," She said with a grin. "Thanks Emmett". She yelled to the air.

Emmett laughed loudly from outside causing Bella to laugh as well.

"Open mine and Edward's next". Alice said excitedly holding a small flat square in her hands.

I laughed again as she glared at Edward. "You promised".

She was even less excited about receiving gifts from her friends than I was. I felt myself moving toward the scene to better look at Bella's weary expression. Something about it was comical, like an old Three Stooges episode.

"Just in time". Emmett boomed as he slid in behind me.

"I didn't spend a dime". Edward said brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Give it to me". Bella said with a sigh as Emmett chuckled.

I watched her take the package in her hands, sliding her finger under the edge of the paper to lift away the tape.

"Shoot". She muttered as a drop of blood pooled from the cut on her skin.

Before I could control myself, I was flying through the air with teeth bared at Bella. I slammed into Edward, hissing and growling like a beast as I tried to push him to the side. I barely felt Emmett's arms wrapping around my chest dragging me backward. My mind was completely black, focusing on nothing but the sweet liquid on Bella's skin. In the distance through the darkness I could hear Carlisle speaking but I couldn't register what he was saying.

My body twisted against Emmett, my teeth snapping at his neck. I knew nothing else until we were outside and the smell of her blood was fading away. I finally regained myself, my hand clenching Emmett's wrist as I looked around.

Emmett released me tentatively, his eyes narrowed as he watched me glide away from him. Rosalie stood a few feet away, her eyes flashing between the two of us, her expression dark.

The memories flooded me at once as I took more steps away from them. Bella's finger bleeding, Edward coming between us, everything after that was dark. I looked to Emmett who was adjusting his shirt, his collar torn slightly.

Had I turned on him? I couldn't remember him even grabbing me, let alone attacking him. I shook my head weakly, my eyes flashing to the ground. With everything I worked at, all the time I spent around humans, it all meant nothing now. My strength had buckled and I attacked someone who had become a permanent staple in our household. Besides that, I attacked my closest two brothers.

"It's alright Jaz". Emmett said slowly, his body angling toward me.

"No it isn't". I hissed, my skin prickling all over.

"It's fine Jasper really". Rosalie said calmly as she folded her arms. "You didn't kill the girl so it's alright. I know it isn't easy, for any of us". She looked to Emmett who nodded slowly.

"It isn't that"! I snapped feeling my anger boiling under my skin. "I turned on you! I turned on Edward! That is unforgivable"! I screamed looking directly at Emmett.

I wanted to disappear into the trees, to escape my mind and my family's kind eyes. I didn't deserve any of their empathy or their forgiveness; I didn't even deserve to be in their presence. I became what I swore I wouldn't, a blood thirsty thrashing beast. I was no better than the new borns I trained with Maria, clawing after helpless victims and turning my fangs on those closest to me. I was worthless. I shook my head roughly, my eyes shutting tightly.

I stepped back again, taking two more steps as Emmett followed, stepping closer to me.

"It is alright. Carlisle is taking care of her, she isn't even mad". He said lightly as I opened my eyes.

"I don't care if she's mad! I would prefer she fears me than forgives me! I am a monster! NOTHING more, this life we live is a farce and I was a fool to even attempt it!"

"You did it for Alice." Rosalie said slowly, her eyes piercing mine.

My insides twisted and burned at the mention of her name. Alice... She would be so disappointed, yet so forgiving. I didn't deserve an angel like her, now more than ever. She was so restrained, so calm, and I a blood thirsty monster. Damn Rosalie for mentioning Alice, my one weakness above anything else.

"I'm aware of that..." I hissed darkly, my eyes locking on her. "She doesn't deserve someone as weak as I". I muttered, twisting my body toward the trees and launching myself through the air before they could say anything further.

My feet thudded across the ground as I ran for miles, disregarding trees, rocks, rivers, and mountains, nothing stood in my way. The wind whipped over my face as it began raining lightly. My eyes widened and narrowed as I heard cautious footsteps echoing behind me.

"Go away Edward". I hissed to the trees as I heard a deep scoff.

"Not a chance". He muttered running just a few feet behind me.

"I mean it." I hissed darkly and more loudly. "I want to be left alone".

"Then you'll have to kill me to do it". He muttered as he ran alongside me.

His hand reached out toward me, about to close around my shoulder as I stopped abruptly. My eyes finally cleared, focusing on just how far we had run. We were right on the border of La Push; I suppose he stopped me just in time before I was attacked by Sam's pack. It wouldn't have mattered to me now, I was so disgusted with myself I would have welcomed death.

"It would have mattered to Alice". He whispered standing perfectly still, reading my thoughts like a book.

Damn them for continuing to mention her. It was far too unfair to keep bringing up my perfect angel. And they knew it that is why they continued to do it.

"She isn't mad, she blames herself". Edward muttered softly.

"It doesn't matter. She would be better off without me, you all would". I whispered to the wet grass.

"Do you really believe that"? Edward said softly folding his arms. "Do you think she would live even a second knowing that you wouldn't be home waiting for her? That she couldn't hold or kiss you ever again? I know her mind far better than you, and I know she would sooner die than live without you."

His words stung me through to my core, burning like alcohol poured on fresh lashings. I closed my eyes imagining Alice's perfect face.

"She would do anything she could to kill herself. And I think you can agree that would be too great of a loss to the world, mortal and immortal alike". He said calmly, his shoulders lowering.

"I know." I said shaking my head. I knew Alice was the same as me, that if her other half were gone she couldn't live. If nothing else I needed to live for her. I would live with the shame and guilt of attacking my family for centuries if only, so that Alice would smile each day. I sighed looking toward the grey sky. "I am sorry Edward".

He shook his head slowly, his eyes on the ground. "It isn't your fault, it is mine. I knew the consequences of allowing myself to love Bella. The danger it posed to both her and our family. I disregarded it for my own selfish reasons, and this is the result. I asked too much of you to suffer through breathing in her scent and being so close to her. I expected too much from the others and took advantage of Carlisle's understanding. It is me who is to blame, no one else".

I sighed, my eyes turning to the trees as Alice flew from them. I saw her face contort with pain as she sprinted toward me, her small body colliding into my chest. I closed my arms tightly around her shoulders, breathing in her sweet scent. I felt complete, and knew I always needed to be with Alice regardless of my own faults. If she would have a wretch like me then I must be doing something right...

Her eyes turned up to me as her hand gently traced my jaw. "Are you alright?" She whispered, her hand lingering against my neck.

I nodded weakly, feeling myself pulling Alice closer to me. It was a selfish thing, to cling to this angel so tightly when I was so terribly evil. To corrupt her so completely for my own needs, unforgivable yet unavoidable.

"Jasper". Edward whispered, breaking me from my thoughts. I glanced up at his pained, tortured expression.

"Edward don't". Alice pleaded her eyes wide. "Don't do this, don't hurt Bella like that".

I gasped as I watched Edward's expression harden, his gaze going blank. I knew instantly what he was thinking just by his demeanor. He was going to abandon Bella, his salvation, his sanity, just to protect us. I wouldn't, couldn't let him do that. This was the first time in his entire existence that he was truly happy and my actions were going to destroy that. "You cannot do that Edward". I whispered as he looked at me silently. "I will punish myself for my weakness, but you cannot punish yourself as well as Bella".

"It is what's best". Edward said softly, hurt and distress flashing across his eyes. I felt his immense pain stabbing at me like a rusted knife. It was more unbearable than the disgust I had for myself.

He shook his head slowly, his hair swaying back and forth. "I cannot protect her from what we are, from what I am. If it wasn't you it would have been me, or Emmett, or Alice. This life is not for her, and it is selfish to drag her into hell with me. She will live fine without me; she can be happy and safe".

"Edward please don't". Alice begged, her arms squeezing my waist. "You know that isn't what you want, don't torture yourself".

"I will leave". I said sternly as Alice's eyes flashed up at me. "It is for the best. Carlisle will understand."

"It won't stop". Edward said coldly. "Even if you leave, even if we all leave, I will still be the one who thirsts for her the most". He said darkly as he clenched his fists. "It took everything in me not to drain her dry in Phoenix; I cannot trust myself not to kill her".

Everyone fell silent as Edward looked away. Finally he spoke, his voice solemn and clear. "We have burdened Forks long enough. It is because of us that the Quilettes have to be what they are. That they're sons have to suffer through life in the pack and people like Charlie have to defend us. We cannot linger here. I will do what I must to make Bella forget we ever existed".

Alice nodded weakly, her head leaning into the space between my Pecs. I leaned my chin on the top of her head, squeezing her impossibly closer to me. "But Bella". I heard her whisper as her hands clenched tightly to the back of my belt.

"She will love again. She will live". Edward said sternly disappearing into the trees.