Disclaimer: I ain't claimin' nothin'.
She was being foolish, is all. It wasn't like her silly little crush would ever amount to anything, so she kept it hidden. She couldn't even tell Maggie. How in heaven's name was she supposed to explain to her sister why she was falling for a man more than twice her age? But she was.
When she first met Daryl, she hadn't paid him any mind when he'd arrived with rest of Rick's group. He'd kept himself apart from the others and spent most of his days looking for that little girl. She didn't know what he did with his nights, although she noticed that he rarely ever came into the house. At the time, she appreciated that fact. There was something awfully dangerous looking about him. He seemed rougher, leaner, colder than the others. He wasn't a "nice" boy like Maggie's Glenn. He wasn't an upstanding lawman and distraught father like Rick. He wasn't a good boy like she knew Jimmy to be. He had the look of someone who killed with ease and efficiency, someone who'd had practice. A lot of practice.
But that was back when she thought the Walkers were still people, that her mother and brother were simply infected and could be cured someday. And afterwards… well, she hadn't exactly been in her right mind. Then the farm got overrun, and she'd been thrust into the world, seeing the horror first-hand as Patricia had been torn from her by Walkers, chunks of flesh bitten off, her screams filling the air.
The winter that followed was the harshest she'd ever known, although the weather had thankfully been mild. She watched her sister grow more fierce as the months passed, both in her love and her ability to kill. She watched as her father looked to Rick more and more to lead the way through the Georgia countryside that had become so menacing and unfamiliar. And she watched as Rick trusted Daryl to keep them safe.
Maybe that's when this all started. When she stopped fearing him for the type of man he was before the world fell apart and started respecting him the way her father and Rick did. Not that she'd been wrong. He was a ruthless and efficient hunter, lacking in manners, and there didn't seem to be an animal on earth that he wouldn't eat. But the qualities that made him so reprehensible before were some of the same ones that kept them alive. He became their protector, a knight on a metal horse with a sleeveless leather jacket as his armor.
But she still didn't think about him that way. She was grateful for him, for his strength and skill, for his loyalty to Rick and his deference to her father. Despite that, she wasn't entirely comfortable around him. He didn't make it easy, either. It wasn't that he was purposefully unfriendly. He just had walls and bristled up whenever someone besides Carol or Rick tried to get too close.
And then the baby came. When he held Lil' Asskicker in his arms, Beth saw the man he could be. The pain and hardship of his life just melted away as he smiled at that little girl. She saw love in him for the first time, a love that was pure and true, and she realized that she wanted him to look at her that way. She wanted to see him smile for her, to see his eyes light up when he saw her. She wanted to ease his suffering, to bring him joy.
How could she fall for a man like Daryl? Well, that was the easy part. The hard part was hiding it away because there was no chance of him ever loving her back. She wasn't strong like the women he seemed most at ease with. Sure, she'd killed a few Walkers, but she was still terrified of them and couldn't handle herself alone. She might have chosen to live, but she didn't know how to survive. Not like Carol or Michonne or even Maggie. All she was good for was taking care of baby Judith and singing. And her singing annoyed him.
So she buried her heart, smiling and singing for the others, flirting with the boys her age. Except the damn thing was just like a Walker, rising up from its grave whenever she caught sight of his crossbow or a glimpse of his straggly dark brown hair. She was infected, but she wasn't sure she ever wanted to be cured of falling in love with Daryl Dixon.
