~ Disclaimer. I don't own White Collar, I just play with it for fun and profit. No relation to any real people that I know of. ~


Neal stepped into the menagerie and instantly regretted the rush job on this case. Less than twenty four hours ago, an FBI agent had gone missing investigating illegal knock offs of name brand coats and operation of a sweatshop. The FBI and US customs were both leaving no stone unturned in the search for the woman. Neal had been practically shoved under cover only eighteen hours ago. He hadn't slept since.

Blue eyes blinking wide he looked around. He didn't dare shut his eyes. From the sound, he'd have thought he was in a zoo, or a jungle. Anywhere, really, but New York city.

"Interesting place." He commented, wincing a bit at the smells."

The darkly tanned man gave him a cold smile. It reminded him of a shark. The man's flat black eyes did as well. "Sometimes it is handy to have the fur and feathers fresh. You should see my warehouse."

Neal gaped at the tiger glaring at him. He'd heard of such things of course, but a tiger in a New York apartment he'd never believed. It lunged at the iron bars clawing at them.

"This one is going to a canned hunt. It will make a fine pelt."

Neal felt ill. He hoped the team was getting this. He hoped even more the creep didn't find out he was wired.

"Dargon, what about the ..." He choked to a halt. The man was reaching into another cage, this one with diamonds inside it.

"These go in some of our finest necklaces. Perhaps you'd like to add some to your repertoire?"

"Perhaps. The ladies do love the diamonds." Neal tried to focus on his job, not the snakes slithering in the cage housing the diamonds. "I think they'd be a bit uneasy with where you stored them though."

Jameson Dargon smiled. He lifted one large snake out and handed it to Lena, his assistant, who curled it around her shoulders.

"I prefer brave woman. Only a few are poisonous."

Only a few? Neal forced himself to ask, "so what about the coats?"

"All in good time, my friend. You have the money?"

"I have the deposit. You get it when I see the furs."

"I cannot give you the furs until you give me the deposit. They are not here. My backers are not trusting folks."

Neal pulled the money case away.

"Now now. I can offer collateral." The man offered him the gems.

Neal cautiously studied the diamonds. Without any tools, it looked real enough. He glanced around, shrugged inwardly, took one and tested on his watch. The glass scored easily.

"Fine." He handed over the case, trying not to look to eager to retreat.

"I will call you with the meeting place."

Neal retreated, passing a large bodyguard and multiple cages. At first glance this place had looked like a piece of cake for an experienced thief like himself. Now he wouldn't have touched it with a fifty foot pole and all the gold in Fort Knox. Safes he could crack, alarms he could bypass. To crawl through the window and encounter poisonous snakes? No, thank you!

He walked a few blocks before he hit the van. Jones slid open the door. "What happened in there?"

"You didn't get it?"

"I got audio. But what was all that about cages and canned hunts?"

Neal slumped in the seat, noticing Jones was alone. "Where's Diana?"

"Looking into the stuff they confiscated off this guy at the docks. And I asked first."

"Snakes, tiger, birds..." He was staring at Jones.

"What?"

"It's a menagerie in there. Literally. A tiger! And he had diamonds in with the snakes!" He held it up and studied it before passing it to Jones.

"Canned hunts." Jones growled then, anger growing in his dark eyes. "That's just slaughter. In a real hunt, the animals stand a chance." He paused. "What kind of snakes?"

Neal described them.

Jones eyes widened in alarm and he clenched his fists. Those are poisonous!"

Neal stared. "I was hoping that was a bluff. I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"The stuff we confiscated...we don't know what's in it...it's going to the evidence warehouse...too big to open at the office..."

Neal held on as Jones scrambled to the front of the van, the danger suddenly sinking in. Jones wasn't as wild a driver, normally, as Diana. But the van was careering around corners and dodging through traffic at a speed that would've done her proud.

Neal held on for dear life as he grabbed his cell and dialed Diana. No answer. "It's at the warehouse?"

"Yeah..."

Neal hit Peter's number and the phone rang. If Patterson the clock watcher refused Peter time to take this call, it would be on his own head what ended up loose in the warehouse. Neal just hoped none of his friends would be hurt by it.

"Hello? Neal, I can't talk now..."

"The evidence from the case we're working! Diana was heading over there with it!"

"Yeah, she's just sitting down with it now. It's pretty big and there are a number of crates..."

"Don't let her open them!"

"Neal, what's..."

"We're here!" Jones slammed to a screeching halt in the parking lot. Neal's phone went flying as he focused on not hitting the dash. He didn't bother to pick it up. They both raced for the warehouse. They shot to the locked gate with Jones waving his badge to get the guard to open it and yanking Neal in behind him.

"Where's Diana?" They yelled as Peter gaped at them.

"Aaaaaah!"

Jones and Neal shot after the yell. Peter followed.

Patterson ran past them , going the other way, so fast they barely avoided him.

Diana shot back out of the corridor where the boxes were. Her back was to them and her hand was grabbing for her gun.

An instant later more yells followed.

"Animal control!" Neal yelled. "Someone call animal control!"

He backed away at high speed as the slithering forms of snakes shot toward him. Diana was waving her gun, trying to decide which to shoot first. Jones had his out too, but had the same problem. Neal grabbed the edge of the shelves and scrambled up, hoping none would try to climb.

Peter stared, fumbling for his weapon, then remembered he wasn't wearing it. Diana started shooting and so did Jones. Everybody ducked as the creatures were hit, bullets ricocheted off the concrete.

It was over long before animal control arrived.

Diana spun toward Jones. She glanced up at Neal, who'd shoved an evidence box aside in his haste to retreat. "Did you know about this?" She scowled.

Neal stared down at her, eyebrows raised. "I tried to call!"

Someone yelled down the aisle. "What do we do with the rest of the boxes?"

"Don't open them!" chorused Neal, Jones and Diana.

Peter was leaning forward, studying the remains of the snakes. "These were poisonous."

"Darn right." Jones said. "When Caffrey told me what he saw in that apartment, I knew it was a bad idea to open those boxes."

Animal control opened the rest with the anxious agents looking on. Sure enough, more snakes, various birds and a tiger cub were found. Peter stared amazed, his own cataloguing forgotten. "Well, we sure aren't storing that evidence in this warehouse."

"I should say not!" Patterson glared at the animals, having returned with animal control. He turned the glare on Neal, who was just climbing down off the shelf. No doubt he was peeved at him knocking over evidence. Neal was too busy staring to notice. He had a pensive expression on his face.

"This...is bad." He said slowly.

"You think?" Peter gaped at the mess before them. He may be the one to have to clean it up!

Neal shook his head. "Could they have gotten all these animals through customs without inside help? One or two I could see. But this?"

"They've got someone on the inside." Diana said slowly. "And that means..."

"Nothing good for the missing agent. If she's blown..."

"We just have to hope she isn't."

"Would you mind doing it somewhere else? We know she isn't here." Patterson snorted. Neal glanced sideways at him and Peter was scowling too.

"And don't you have work of your own to do?"

The bristling was imperceptible, but Diana and Jones looked no more pleased than Neal.

"Come on. We have an agent to find." Diana lead them out. Neal cast a glance back at Peter who just shrugged and went back to work.

Neal eyes sparkled as he got to the car. Jones glanced at him, a slight smile forming. Diana halted and spun to face them. "Before either of you say anything, no, it was not me that screamed like a little girl."

"Who was it then?"

Her lip quivered as a smile threatened. "Patterson."

The other two grinned.

Jones shook his head. "I'll bet Peter would've loved a picture of that."

"Too bad I didn't have time to get one."

Neal's smile faded. "Do you think you got them all? I couldn't tell."

"I didn't have time to count either."

"Wait, you mean there might be more in there?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, animal control is looking."

Neal was picturing Patterson amidst the snakes. He grinned all the way to the office. He wouldn't want the guy to get poisoned. But he didn't mind if the snakes smiled at the guy a little.