How many times can you do any of these without Jacob Black hurting you? Find out!

This is for you Jacob! I don't Hate Jacob or twilight in fact I LOVE it. This is for fun.

I do not own Twilight. Thats o.k. 'starts to cry' Sorry 'sniff'.

1. Throw a stick and tell him to fetch it.

2. When he doesn't get it say "What kind of dog are you?"

3. Buy him a kitten for his birthday and named Edward.

4. Buy him a "bite-me" tee shirt.

5. Buy him a shock collar and press the button every time he swears... or talks!

6. Follow him around singing "who let the dogs out (Who! Who! Who!)

7. Dance around him singing obnoxiously "you imprinted on a new born!" over and over.

8. Tell him he smells like a vampire.

9. Tell him Rosalie has a crush on him and is willing to dump Emmet for him.

10. Tell him they make a good couple.

11. State that they even look alike.

12. Beat him at a game and say "Second place again Jake?"

13. Tell him Bella's a cat person.

14. If he's getting on your nerves talking yell "STOP BARKING!"

15. Tell him he 'ain't nothing but a hound dog.

16. Smash all of Edward's CDs and say "Jacob did it!"

17. Smash Edward's car and yell "Jacob did it!" Then lock them in a room together.

18. Show him a picture of Taylor Lautner and laugh at the resemblance.

19. Tell Rosalie that Jacob thinks she's ugly.

20. Sit back and watch the results of #19.

21. Tell Jacob that The Black Eyed Peas are performing at the Cullen's house and watch him crash Bella's wedding.(Yes that was me. I did that!)

22. Write love notes and slip them under his door signed 'Rosalie Hale'.

23. Ask him if you can take him for a walk.

24. Call him Sharkblack. (Reference 'Sharkboy and Lavagirl')

25. Ask him what happened between him and Lavagirl.

26. Ask him what he has against shirts.

27. Rip his wig of his head.

28. Buy him a Build-a-bear wolf.

29. Tattoo a sign on his arm that says 'Team Edward' on it while he's sleeping.

30. Ask him what he looked like when he was a puppy.

31. Tell him you hate Selena Gomez.

AND NOW THE LAST ONE 'DRUMROLL' EPIC MOMENT!!!!

32. Ask him what it's like to date the Loch Ness Monster.

Audience laughs.

Thanks folks! I hope you liked it. Tell me how many times you laughed.

(Aliceandra627 my friend) Just told me I will get sued by Taylor Lautner if I don't stop now so BYE.

Please review.