The Entomologist And The Loose Cannon
Risty Maskell

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of CBS's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. For non-profit, entertainment purposes only. The persons, living or dead, and events described herein are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

She'd written the letter hurriedly, wanting to get it done and be out of the office before he returned. Trying to control her tears, she slipped the letter into an envelope and sealed it, leaving it with Judy at the front desk. With a wobbly smile and a farewell to the receptionist, Sara Sidle left the building.

Gil Grissom was sitting at his desk, reading and re-reading the note that Sara had left behind. She was gone… he sighed, wondering where he'd gone wrong. He sat thinking for a moment as his mind turned over the recent events to shake up his life. Getting up and grabbing his coat, he made his way quickly out of the office, hurrying past Catherine without so much as a hello.

"Hey, Gil! Where are you going?" Catherine asked, watching him flee.
"I've got something important to do!" Gil answered, pausing at the door. "Do me a favour and hand out the assignments tonight, will you, Catherine?"
"Sure, but --" But Gil was already gone. Catherine looked confused as she continued to the break room, where Warrick Brown, Greg Sanders and Nick Stokes were waiting.
"Man, Grissom sure can motor when he wants to." Greg said with a grin. "If he wasn't such a self-confessed dork, I would have thought he was on his high-school track team."
"Very funny." Catherine said, but all three men could see the small smile, tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Right, let's get on with it." She shuffled through the assignments and handed one to each of them. "Nick, you've got a B&E at the Majestic – someone thought it would be fun to hold up the cashier and lift the vault."
"As long as I don't end up buried in a box, I'm cool with that." Nick said, taking the proffered assignment with a smile.
"Warrick, you've got a hit-and-run on Industrial Road. The vic is being transported to Desert Palms Hospital."
"You got it." Warrick said with a grin.
"And Greg, you're with me. 4-19 at the car yard in Summerlin."
"Yeh, boss." Greg nodded.
"Okay, let's go guys." Catherine said with a smile. "Have a good shift."
The four of them split and went their separate ways.

Gil knocked on the door of the apartment in front of him. He couldn't hear anything on the inside. Knocking again, he leaned against the doorframe.
"You ain't gonna find anyone there." A voice behind him said. Gil turned to find a wizened old woman standing there, watching him intently.
"I'm not?" He asked. "Why not?"
"The girl who lived there left a few hours ago. Said she needed a break. Shame, really. Nice girl, she was. One of my better neighbours."
"Did she say where she was going?" Gil asked.
"Sorry." The woman shrugged, looking somewhat apologetic. "All I know is what she told me. She needed some time out and put her apartment up for rent."
"Well, did she say when she was coming back?" He asked, trying to keep his composure.
"Nope." The woman shook her head.

Gil's heart seemed to slow to half-speed as he thanked the woman and made his way slowly out to the car. Driving back toward LVPD, he mused as to what had made Sara just up and leave so suddenly. His only conclusion was the previous case they'd worked on-- the one with the really smart kid, what was her name? Hannah. He'd seen her looking at this little girl and had been reminded of when they'd had to deal with her two years ago. He knew it had been hard for Sara.

Gil sighed and parked the car and walked into the building. Walking back toward his office, a thousand thoughts tumbling about in his mind, he sat down in his chair and sat to mull things over for a while.
"Gil?" Catherine peeked into Grissom's office to find him staring blankly at the phone, as if willing it to ring and it to be Sara. "Grissom? You okay?"
He looked up at her and Cath was frightened by what she saw. His eyes were unreadable and his left hand was clenching and unclenching around a pen, as if he were angry about something.
She walked into his office and sat across from her friend. "Wanna talk about it?"
"About what?" He asked, quietly.
"I don't know." Cath shrugged. "Whatever it is that's making you so pissed off?"
Gil opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Wordlessly, he handed Sara's note to Catherine and let her read it while he sat in silence, contemplating. Cath read the note, her eyebrows raising so that they were lost under her bangs.
"And you don't know where she's gone?"
"No." Gil sighed. "Do you think I did something wrong, Cath?"
"Oh, Gil. I'm sure you didn't." Catherine offered him a reassuring smile. "If I know Sara, she'll be back when she feels better. We all need a break sometimes, and she's had a lot to deal with in a short period of time. She probably felt like she short-circuited or something."
"You think?" He looked imploringly at the strawberry blonde woman sitting across from him.
"Give her time." Cath patted his hand reassuringly. "I've got to get back to Hodges and see if he has my results." She got up and headed toward the door. Turning back, she looked at her supervisor seriously. "I know you don't believe in pouring your heart out to people, Gil." She said softly. "But you know where I am if you ever need to talk."
"Thank you, Catherine." He said sincerely. Cath nodded, smiled again and left him alone. Gil sat back, his elbows resting on the armrests of his chair, his fingers steepled as he leaned back. A memory bubbled up from the back of his mind and he closed his eyes to see it more clearly.

It was the beginning of term semester at Berkeley University in San Francisco. Gil had been invited on a four week Sabbatical, teaching about new developments in the crime lab. Mainly for Criminology students, it had been a surprise to see how many other students had turned up at the lectures. A few of his friends and fellow professors had teased him, saying he was a shameless flirt and that's what drew people to him in hordes. Gil had ignored them up to a point.

After a gruelling lecture, addressing four hundred plus students in a large auditorium on the subject of determining time of death from studying blowfly larvae, he'd been hit up on questions from some of the more promising students. One student in particular had hung back until the crowd of students had gone.

"Excuse me, Doctor Grissom?" She'd asked.
He'd looked up to see a petite young woman, with short, chestnut brown hair and expressive, coffee-coloured eyes standing on the opposite side of the desk, waiting to be addressed.

"Yes?" He asked with a smile.
"Sara Sidle." She offered her hand to shake, which Gil accepted warmly.
"I was wondering if you could give me any tips on how to get into Criminology?"
"What's your speciality, Ms Sidle?"
"Material and element analysis."

They'd talked for most of the afternoon, causing Sara to miss a class ("It's okay, it was only listening to Professor Mason waffle on in a barely audible whisper." She'd said when he'd apologised.) They agreed to meet again in the following day's lunch hour and free period to discuss some more employment options. Even after their brief meeting, Gil had been looking forward to seeing the inquisitive young woman again. Once they had parted ways, however, Gil had been cornered by his old friend and mentor, Phillip Gerard.

"I hear you were subjected to the Sidle Inquisition." Phillip stated.
"The what?" Gil asked, a little taken aback.
"Sara Sidle, Gil. Word has it that you were cornered for a good hour and a half. I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for? I think she's a lovely girl."
"You wait, Gil. You won't think she's so lovely after a while." Phillip said with a grin. "She's a vulture. Always circling for more scraps of information… she's driven the Coroner half mad with questions on time of death and cause of death and whatever other information she can get her hands on."

"That just goes to show she's willing to learn." Gil said, indifferently. "You don't see many of those, these days, Phillip."

"Yes, I seem to remember you being the same." Phillip conceded, rolling his eyes. "Except at least you were interested in other things -- baseball, poker… you had other interests… Sara just has one set interest -- Criminology. No diversions."
"I'm sure she has other diversions, Phillip. Besides, she was only asking me on employment advice."
"To each their own, I suppose." Phillip shrugged with a rueful smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Grissom had had nothing to say to that, and even if he had, he wouldn't have. He'd never been one to engage in petty arguments.

The next day, he'd met up with Sara and they talked some more: about Grissom's work in Las Vegas, about his team – including the newest guy, Nick Stokes, who'd just transferred from Texas A&M, about what Sara might do after college. Gil told her about what Phillip had said and she'd rolled her eyes.
"Everyone thinks I'm either a major brain, annoying or your garden variety kiss-ass." She said with a shrug. "I can't help it if I want to actually learn. Not like the reefers around here who just want a buzz."
"I find it refreshing to find someone who genuinely wants to learn." Gil said with a smile. "It makes a nice change for me. Usually, I'm left with a room of sleeping students. Much like Andy Kaufman in one of his book readings."

Sara had laughed at that, before telling him that the only time he'd catch her sleeping in class would be if she was struck down with a case of narcolepsy—it hadn't happened yet and she wasn't planning on in happening either. Not now, not ever.

During the time he spent in San Francisco, he saw more and more of Sara-- inviting her as a Criminology student assistant to a crime scene, answering her questions after classes, sitting with her at lunch period to talk about their separate days. He'd even questioned himself about feelings he hadn't felt in years. He never mentioned his feelings to Sara though. He was a private person when it came to that sort of vulnerability, and tried to convince himself that he was just very fond of the young woman. She was fifteen years his junior, for Pete's sake! At the end of his Sabbatical, he big his colleagues and friends and mentors a fond farewell, leaving Sara until last. Promising to write, they'd exchanged business cards and had hugged, somewhat awkwardly, at the airport before he boarded the plane back to Vegas.

Grissom opened his eyes at the end of the memory, looking up to see Ecklie standing there.
"Hope I didn't disturb your little power nap, Gil." Ecklie said with a oily, sarcastic smile.
"No, Conrad." Gil said, shuffling through some papers, discreetly placing Sara's letter under the pile. "What can I do for you?"
"The trial for Valerie Eckman is being held tomorrow morning at ten am."
Grissom raised an eyebrow in response. "And?" He asked. "I was under the impression that that was Day Shift's case."
"The Day Shift Supervisor was supposed to testify, but she's had to pull out because of some family crisis or something--"
"And you want me to take over?"
"I have the case file here for you to read over the evidence." Ecklie said, handing Grissom the case file that he'd been holding under his arm. "Normally, I wouldn't ask, Gil… but I really have no choice."
"Mmhmm…" Gil said, flicking through the case file, with a sideways look at Ecklie.
"Naturally, I know it's extremely short notice, but you're the only person I could think of."
Gil looked up at him with a bemused look. "You're lucky I'm not knee deep in my own investigation, Conrad." He said with a sigh. "I'll need all the available evidence."
Ecklie seemed to deflate with relief. "Thanks, Gil."

Gil waited until Ecklie had gone to get the evidence and looked at his phone. He would try Sara's cell later, but for now-- he had work to do.

If he knew his Sara, she'd want time to think, to be alone, to re-evaluate and regroup. And he knew that he had to let her go… for now.