This is a part 3 to Worthy of Love and Hero.
A couple of months later!
'Hey,' Emily said as she approached Hotch.
'Hey,' Hotch replied kissing her cheek when she walked through the door. 'How was the rest of work? You like tired.'
'So do you,' Emily gave him a soft smile. 'It was fine, just paperwork to do.'
After having dinner and watching a bit of TV Hotch spoke up. 'So do you want to talk about what you meant a couple of months ago, when you said you weren't a hero?'
Emily laughed in return and asked, 'you still remember that?' Watching him nod, she snuggled closer to him and answered. 'I was just having a bad day, the case just bought up a lot of stuff that I didn't want to think about or remember.'
'Do you want to talk about that stuff?'
Emily stayed silent for a few minutes and then said softly, 'okay.'
'I'm not going to judge or anything, I'm just here to listen,' he reassured her.
'I know, thank you.' She kissed him lightly and he gave her a smile, squeezing her hand in support. 'It just kind of reminded me of what happened with Doyle, you know, the mum, she knew he was bad but she still fell in love with him.'
'But you were doing your job.'
'I know, a job which I was supposed to do, without falling in love with him and getting so close to them, the way I did,' Emily answered softly. 'I know you can't help who you fall in love with... I guess he kind of caught me off guard when he was around Dec,' she explained.
'Was he a good father?' Hotch surprised both of them with his question.
'He was a great dad, not as great as you,' she winked at him and he chuckled. 'But I saw how he did things with, such love and care and he would do absolutely anything to protect him, just like I would've done,' Emily said softly. 'I love Dec like he's my son. We did get really serious, we even spoke about kids.'
Hotch looked at her in shock. 'Kids? You were going to have kids with him?'
'We spoke about it,' Emily replied, not answering the question.
'But you said no right?'
'No, I said yes. It wasn't only because I had to keep up the act. I actually wanted to have a baby. We spoke about after we'd gotten engaged, I thought was going to spend a long time with him, I didn't know how long I was going to be undercover for,' Emily answered honestly.
'Wow... you got engaged to him. You loved him that much, so that you were going to marry him and have kids with him.'
'Most of it was undercover but yes,' Emily nodded.
'I don't even know what to think or say.'
I don't expect you to be okay with it or know what to think or say, I was just being honest,' Emily felt guilty.
'No I know, I'm sorry, I know your just telling, me I did ask. It's just I wasn't expecting that,' Hotch said in return, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. 'Was there anything else about the case that brought up memories?'
'Haven't you had enough confessions for one day?' Emily laughed.
'It's helping isn't it?'
'Yes it is,' she gave him a kiss. 'Thank you. There is one more thing.'
'What was it?'
'It is again about being a mum...'
'What about it?'
'I had an abortion...' Emily blurted out.
'What?' Hotch looked at her, like she had grown three heads. 'When?'
'...' Emily cleared her throat.
'Was it our baby?'
'How could you ask that?' Emily asked in shock. A few tears ran down her face.
'I'm sorry, I didn't think.'
'I would never abort our baby.'
'I'm so sorry, I know that,' Hotch said wiping her tears away. He felt really bad for even suggesting it and making her cry.
Emily took a deep breath to control her emotions and said okay.
'When did this happen?' Hotch asked.
'I got pregnant when I was 15... to fit in, I didn't mean to get pregnant and I was too young to have the baby. Also I would've wanted my baby to have a stable home. We kept moving around from country to country. Ambassadors daughter being pregnant at 15 would've been really bad. Would've been a single parent at 15. I didn't really have a choice.'
'15? I'm so sorry baby,' he kissed her softly and held her tightly close to him.
