A/N: Boy oh boy does it feel like it's been a long time since I posted a new story on my own profile. Hi guys! Ya miss me?
I know it's been quite awhile since you guys have seen anything from me other than Tales of Attornia or Timeless Love, and I really got no other explanation besides me being lazy.
But, I'm back with something brand new that I hope you guys all enjoy! This will be a simple Justicykes two-shot. I'd originally planned it as a one-shot, but it exploded into something much bigger than I felt like cramming into one chapter.
I also wanna take this chance to make a couple of anouncements regarding my other stories.
First of all, my series, Turnabout Ever After, is NOT cancelled. It's just been placed on a rather long hiatus while I work to get my will to write back. And with this story, I think I've made some massive headway.
Second: Although the series it is part of is not cancelled, I feel I have no choice but to cancel Maya Fey: Ace Mommy. I''ve simply lost all enthusiasm for the story, and leaving it without an update for so long has just been a massive source of stress for me. I apologize deeply for anyone who followed the story and I truly hope this doesn't ruin your enjoyment of my work.
Now, with all that out of the way, let's get this show on the road! Enjoy!
4:02 PM
March 19, 2028
Paul E. Parmesean's
"Ahoy, maties!"
"Ahoy, Captain!"
"I see some of me best mates be in the audience today, so sing along, ye all know the words!"
"Aye aye!"
"Ooooooooh! Do what you want cause a pirate is free-"
Apollo groaned as he heard the animatronic show start up for the third time this shift as he sat in the tacky break room. I never thought I could hate a single song so much.
The red clad young man had needed some extra money, so he took up a part time job at the local pizzeria/arcade.
As for the reason an attorney at the famous Wright Anything Agency was in need of money…
Well, it had to do with a certain redheaded co-worker.
Athena's birthday wasn't far off, and normally, Apollo was lucky to have to nickels to rub together.
But, for reasons he wasn't even quite sure he understood himself, he felt compelled to make sure he got her a really spectacular gift.
And unfortunately, the only place hiring nearby was the pirate themed funland, Paul E. Parmesean's.
Never had Apollo missed being the office errand boy more than during his weekend shifts at the godforsaken pizzeria.
Truth be told, he wouldn't mind the job so much if it wasn't for one thing that reared its ugly head at him every day.
"Oof!" Apollo grunted as something heavy was dropped on his lap. He didn't even need to look at it to know what it was.
The disembodied head of Paul E. Parmesean, the parrot mascot of the franchise. And the disgusting thing he would need to cram himself into for the rest of his shift.
"A deal's a deal, Justice. I covered for you last week, now you're wearing this thing for the rest of the night." Cole Werker, Apollo's co-worker at the pizza place said as he quickly began unzipping the feathery monstrosity that was Paul E.'s body.
The young man expelled a sigh. "Yeah, yeah. Was trying to forget that for a few more minutes." He said, setting the costume head on the floor next to him, which was quickly joined by the rest of shortly after.
Cole plopped down in a chair next to Apollo. "Hey, what are you complaining about? Four hours at the prize counter ain't backbreaking. And hell, you lucked out that we don't have any parties tonight."
Apollo took a sip from the soda he'd been drinking over the course of his shift. "I wouldn't say I lucked out about anything in this job. Just before I came back here, Ms. Mesean flagged me down with a roll of paper towel and a bucket of soap and water. Told me some kid left a 'present' behind in the tubes."
"Oh man, I heard about that. Made sure to keep out of her sight till I got the all clear." Cole replied, popping a stick of gum in his mouth. "Worst part of the job, no doubt. Don't remember anything in orientation about being on doo doo duty."
The lawyer let out another sigh. "Worst part is I'm used to getting the literal shit jobs. I'm starting to build up muscle just from scrubbing the toilet at the office."
"Man, I still can't believe you ain't making enough at that place to buy that girlfriend of yours a gift. Thought you lawyers were supposed to be loaded."
"Again, she's not my girlfriend." Apollo corrected, growing annoyed with his co-worker's constant insinuation that he and Athena were an item. "And yeah, we're totally loaded. With paperwork."
"Hey man, dunno why you keep denying it. You clearly got a thing for this girl if you're putting up with this job for her."
Apollo simply stood up and grabbed the pieces of the mascot costume he had discarded earlier. "I'm not having this conversation again. I gotta get suited up."
As Apollo turned to head for the character dressing room located next to the break room, he tried to ignore the kissing noises Cole made from behind him.
Work when dressed Paul E. was a mixed bag. On the one hand, one didn't need to worry about angry customers asking when their pizza would be ready and spitballs and other such things couldn't reach you.
On the other hand, these minor perks were traded for much worse circumstances.
Moving around in the suit alone was a chore in and of itself, the stuffy old costume reeking of sweat and the cheap fabric freshener sprayed on it after every shift. It was also designed so that picking something up was nearly impossible, small fingers just poking out of the feathers of Paul E's wings, so as to stay out of sight of the children and keep up the illusion that Paul E was just a plain old bird. That happened to dress like a pirate and be well over the size of the regular adult human male.
Ah yes, that was another issue. Apollo was, to say the least, not the tallest of people. And the suit seemed to be designed for Shaquille O'neal. This left Apollo without the luxury of being able to see properly, as his eyes didn't line up correctly with the mesh covered eyeholes in the beak. He could just barely see the tops of the children's heads, and that was good enough for his boss.
The usual job of the person in the suit was to wander around the restaurant and entertain the kids with a variety of dances and gestures. The only real rule was that you were not allowed to speak while in costume. Doing so could land you in hot water.
However right now, Apollo was supposed to take part in the finale of the stage show, which was finally wrapping up for the final time that night.
His job was to appear on stage after the curtain dropped on the horrifying animatronics (Which reminded Apollo way too much of a game Trucy had tricked him into playing.) and move in time with the recorded audio playing over the PA system as he fought off Paul E's arch nemesis. The scourge of the seven seas and all around jerkface, (The restaurant's words, not Apollo's) Bill G. Rat.
Bill G was currently being played by another of Apollo's temporary co-workers, Chase Moker.
"Ya-har!" Cried Bill G from the recorded audio. "I'll be havin' me revenge on ye today, Cap'n Paul E!" Chase waved his sword around in mock enthusiasm. Despite the outward appearance of the Rat suit, the young man underneath was very much not happy about exacting his misplaced revenge upon Paul E.
"Never, ye ne'er-do-well. Me maties and I will never let ye win!" Apollo's avian alias shouted from the speakers. The lawyer mimicked his co-worker, waving his sword about to give the kids a show. "What say ye, me buckos? Are we to let this scurvy dog plunder our hard earned booty?"
At this point, Apollo was to turn and face the audience, pantomiming that he was speak to the children. The response the crowd usually gave was also scripted in the recording. A cry of 'Yo ho, no no!' that always left Apollo ready to facepalm in its absurdity.
However, the lawyer was just barely able to even keep the show going when he looked out over the crowd this time because of who he saw enter the establishment at that very moment.
Athena.
And she wasn't alone. Tagging along were Trucy, Pearl, and Jinxie, all of whom just so happened to be the last people on Earth he wanted to see entering this restaurant.
In short, Apollo's mind had gone beyond red alert and was no in a state of 'Shit, crap, oh God no, why, why God, why have you forsaken me.'
Apollo suddenly felt something thump him in the head and turned his attention back to Chase, suddenly remembering he was in the middle of a show. The next few minutes merely consisted of the two wildly swinging their swords about until Paul E defeated Bill G and sent him flying off into the sea. Or rather, out of the children's sight on the side of the stage.
The man kept an eye on the girls in the back, whom he truly wished would wander off to go play a round of Whack-a-Rat rather than actually sticking around to watch the end of the show.
'We done a good job, me buckos. And now, we get to revel in our spoils! And ye know our pirate code. All for one, and one for all!" Apollo's feathery hands fumbled for the latch on a large treasure chest before he finally popped it open to reveal a stash of game tokens, or as they were called at the pizza place, doubloons. Apollo began throwing handfuls of the shiny gold coins off the stage as the speakers let out one final line. "Spend 'em to yer hearts content, maties! And be sure to come see ol' Cap'n Paul E again real soon!"
He just caught sight of the girls rushing into the crowd to snatch up some free tokens before he rushed backstage and made a beeline for the rear exit of the building. The sooner he got away from Athena and the others, the better!
Of all the pizzerias, in all the cities, in all the world, why in the blood-soaked hell did she have to walk into this one!?
"Yo man, what's up? You look like you seen a ghost."
The parrot pirate spun around to see who spoke to find himself face to face (Or would it be face to mask?) with Chase, still in the suit for Bill G Rat, but without the head. The young man had a cigarette in his hand, already burned about halfway.
Apollo pulled Paul E's head off and set it on the pavement. "I wouldn't say a ghost. Just the last person I want to run into here."
"That girl o' yours?" Chase asked, taking a drag off his cancer stick.
"Not my girl. But yes. The one I took this job for." Apollo explained as he leaned his back against the brick wall of the pizzeria.
"Alright, alright, no need to get testy, man. I feel ya. Plenty of people I'd rather not see me here dressed as a rat." Chase reached into his costume and pulled out his carton of cigarettes, holding it out to Apollo. "Wanna bum one? Should help calm your nerves."
Apollo tried to hide the grimace on his face he held up a hand and shook his head. "No thanks. I don't smoke."
His fellow costumed companion simply shrugged. "Suit yourself." He said as he pulled another cigarette out and lit it with his already burning one, tossing the old one to the ground. "You should really be counting your blessings."
"What blessings? This is like a curse from God himself. Starting to feel like the guy has it out for me." Apollo slumped to the ground, uncaring that the costume's rear would now be covered in cigarette buts and dead ants.
"Well, it could be worse. You said she doesn't know you work here at all. Can you imagine if you were working the prize counter or waiting tables?" He paused to take another puff. "Good luck hiding from her then."
Letting out a sigh, Apollo scratched the back of his. "Yeah, I guess you got a point there. Not like she can tell who I am under this thing."
"Now you're using your head." Chase said, tapping the red lawyer on the top of the head. "You got like, what, 3 more hours in your shift? Just don't take the head off and everything'll be fine."
"Never thought I'd be glad to be in this thing." Apollo stuck Paul E's head back on.
"Well, I think glad is going a bit far. You still gotta deal with the brats and the smell of that thing. As for me," The children's entertainer put his cigarette out against the side if the building. "I got 15 minutes left and then I'm outta here." Chase shove Bill G's head back on and made his way back into the building. "Just try not to spend the whole time tailing your girl. Believe me, these things are NOT big enough for two people to squeeze into."
The horned attorney chose to ignore that comment. Both because of the insinuation about his relationship with Athena and the disturbing mental imagery. He simply took a deep breath and headed back into the establishment. He only had three hours before he could go home. How bad could things be.
Turns out the answer the answer to that question was very. Barely an hour had gone by and Apollo had already been subjected to a 'kick me' sign being stuck to his back, a kid kicking him in the shin, a skee ball dropped on his foot, (Which he couldn't even cry out in pain over because of the no speaking rule) and to top it all off, Athena, Trucy, Pearl, and Jinxie were still in the building somewhere. He hadn't seen them since the show, but he could feel it.
Just a few more minutes 'til your next break, Apollo. Then just 2 more hours after that. That's just 1 hour twice. I just have to get through 30 minutes 4 times.
The man was hoping beyond hope he could just get through this shift without running into the girls.
However, as Apollo has come to learn time and time again, God hates him and most likely records his suffering to add laugh tracks to later to air as a sitcom.
Just as Apollo turned to make his way to the break room and climb out of the feathery torture device, he spotted Trucy, who appeared to be watching Athena play Wyvern's Fortress. A game he was particularly addicted to when he had the chance to play it before his shift.
Just as Apollo caught sight of his boss's daughter, she shifted her own gaze slightly and caught sight of him, her eyes growing as she did. She waved a hand at him. "Polly! Hey, Polly! Over here!"
Apollo flinched at this. W-what!? How does she know it's me!?
He watched as Trucy shook Athena, all the while he was trying to plan his escape, however that seemed impossible at the moment as to his left was a mother talking to her crying child and to his right was a group of ten year olds crowding around a child playing what appeared to be a legendary round of Smash-it-Sam.
"Athena. Athena look, it's Polly!" Trucy cried to her friend. Apollo heard the cry of 'Wyvern's Fortress' that preceded a death in the game.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL, REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Apollo was screaming in his mind as he tried fruitlessly to find an escape route. What in this or any other life, past present or future, did Apollo do to piss off the Almighty so badly.
"Apollo's here? No way!" Athena said, peeking away from the arcade game and glancing in Apollo's direction.
And to my dog, Icarus, I leave my entire vast fortune of $32 and some pocket lint. The lawyer mentally rehearsed his will as he prepared to die of embarrassment at Athena seeing him demeaning himself to wearing a parrot suit for extra cash.
However, Athena simply frowned and smacked Trucy on the shoulder. "Truce! You tricked me, I thought you meant you saw Apollo, not the mascot."
Trucy smiled a cheeky grin. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. C'mon, let's go get a picture with him. Jinxie, Pearly, c'mon!"
In the middle of the restaurant, Apollo stood frozen as his brain worked to process what had just transpired. However, he was coming up with the equivalent of a 404 error.
He'd been fooled by Trucy's little trick as well, truly believing she was able to tell by looking at him that he was nothing more than her friend crammed into a smelly parrot suit. Given how often he heard people calling him Paul E here, he really should have realized sooner.
However, there were plenty of moments when the lawyer's supposed big brain just let out a massive fart. This being one of those moments.
Alright, crisis… Semi-averted. Just take some pictures with the girls and get to the break room.
The girls made their way to the avian mascot, Trucy already snapping one or two pics as Apollo waved and gestured to them.
"Hi Paul E!" Trucy said enthusiastically. "Can we get a few pictures with you?"
Apollo, staying character as best he could, touched the bottom of his beak with his feathered hand, mocking as if he were in deep thought before happily shaking his head.
Trucy looked giddy as she handed her phone to Pearl and instructed the girl how to work the camera. One picture had the young magician happily hugging the bird, (With Apollo praying she couldn't smell the lingering scent of the many Paul E actors' B.O.) another had her point the mascot's trademark sword at him as Apollo pretended to be sacred, and the last one featured the two posing with Mr. Hat between them.
The young girl snatched up her phone and looked happily through them.
"Ok, my turn, my turn!" Athena shoved her phone into Trucy's hands and stood next to Apollo, very nearly knocking the senior lawyer turned children's entertainer to the ground. She draped an arm over the parrot's neck and flashed a peace sign, instructing Apollo to do the same, which he did to the best of his abilities. The next few pictures had the two looking deep in thought, looking angrily into the camera (Apollo simply balled his wings into the closest thing to a fist he could and mimicked Athena) and of course, striking an objection pose.
The redhead quickly recovered her phone from Trucy and begin looking through the photos, grinning like an idiot.
"Pearly, you should take some pictures!" Athena suggested to the young Spirit Medium.
"Oh! Um… I-I'd rather not, if that's alright." The young woman said, biting her thumb as she spoke.
"Oh, c'mon, don't be a spoilsport." Trucy said to her friend. "What about you, Jinxie?"
"M-Me!?" The timid young girl hid behind a paper plate she seemed to have been carrying around. "No… I-I couldn't possibly- Eek!"
The shaking maid cried out as Trucy shoved her toward Apollo, bumping right into the costumed lawyer. "Don't be such a worrier, Jinxie. He won't bite!" Trucy said.
Apollo looked at the young woman through his mask as she cowered behind her plate. He really had no idea what to do here, afraid any sudden movements would spook the girl and have her crying Yokai.
He decided to play it safe and simply wave at her shyly.
Big mistake.
As soon as Apollo's feathered hand was in the air, Jinxie cried out once more.
"Ah! Y-Yosuzume!" In a flash, the girl produces one of her ever present Demon Warding charms and slapped it on Apollo's face with the force of a charging bull!
So hard, in fact, that it not only sent the lawyer flying backwards, his mask also flew off!
Attempting the only thing he could do, Apollo spun himself around as he fell so that he landed front first. He knew his hair fell flat after spending some time in the costume, so he simply prayed he wouldn't be recognizable from the back as he scrambled to find his mask.
He felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced around to make sure Athena wasn't looking at him and was relieved to see she was currently consoling Jinxie. Trying his best to keep his face hidden, Apollo looked to see Pearl holding his mask out to him.
"Here you go. You dro- Mr. Apol- Ah!" Pearl cried out as Apollo suddenly lunged forward and clamped a feathered hand over the girl's mouth and held the other to his lips.
"Listen, I can't explain right now, Pearl, but please, please, PLEASE don't mention it was me under this mask." Apollo pleaded to the young spirit medium, keeping his voice hushed and PRAYING Athena's super hearing couldn't pick out his voice from the crowd. "I swear I will owe you a million favors, just please keep this a secret, ok?"
Wordlessly, Pearl shook her head in confirmation and Apollo thanked her before quickly sticking his mask back on.
"I-I'll, um… Be going now. It was nice seeing you Mr. Apo-" She caught herself just in time. "Er, I mean, Mr. Paul E."
The young man worked to catch his breath as he watched the girl in pink rejoin her friends, who still seemed more worried about Jinxie than about the parrot she had decapitated. Not that Apollo was complaining as he made a beeline for the break room. He was definitely taking an extra ten minutes.
Ten more minutes, Apollo. Just ten more minutes and you can go home and forget this place even exists.
That's what Apollo was telling himself as he was making one final lap around the restaurant. The way things generally worked was that Paul E wasn't on the floor for the last hour of the night before closing, so this really was to be his last go around before he could finally get out of the stuffy costume and head home. (sneaking out the back, of course, to avoid Athena and the girls)
Speaking of said redhead, he saw her come into his line of sight right around this time and decided to head that way, but keep a bit of distance. He felt he couldn't really make it obvious he was avoiding her. So, he decided to do a little dance for small group of kids waiting in line to play Skee ball.
As he did so, he couldn't help but overhear a little of Athena's conversation as she and Trucy chatted over a game of FightLizards, Pearl and Jixie playing bystander.
"By the way, Athena, I've been meaning to ask you something." The magician said.
"Hm?"
"Why did you suddenly wanna come here today? There's a bunch of better arcades in the city."
"Oh, that." The redhead said, almost sounding sad. "Well, it's… Kinda stupid."
"Oh, it can't be that bad. Now you gotta tell me!"
Athena snorted in laughter. "Alright, alright, but you gotta promise not to laugh."
"Magician's honor!"
Apollo at this point was seriously intrigued and found himself inching closer to the conversation without really thinking about it. His spirited dance now downgrading to little more than a shuffling of his feet.
"Well, you know how my birthday is next weekend?"
Apollo saw Trucy shake her head.
"Well… I know it's stupid, but I've always kinda wanted to have a birthday party at a place like this. I was really sheltered as a kid, so I never had the chance. So, I guess I wanted to come here to sorta have my own little party, if that makes any sense."
Silence followed from the girl beside her as the game came to an end, both of their characters apparently dying.
"Like I said, I know it's stupid-"
Trucy cut the girl off, shaking her head. "No, no, it's really no. It's actually kinda sad. My old daddy threw me a birthday party here about a year before daddy adopted me. Besides performing with him, it's probably one of my favorite memories of being a kid."
"You still ARE a kid, Truce." Athena mocked, punching the girl in the arm.
The last thing Apollo heard of the conversation was a cry of 'Am not!' from Trucy as the girls walked out of sight, seeming to be heading for the exit.
The gears in the young lawyers head began to turn as he glanced at the nearest clock. 3 minutes left in his shift.
Looks like I might have one more stop to make before I head home.
As much as Apollo knew he needed to do this, he could not even begin to emphasize how much he really really didn't want to.
It's not that his boss was a bad person by any means. It's just that…
The door flung open about 2 seconds after Apollo knocked. "Oh, Apollo! So good to see you, come in, come in! Make yourself at home. Kick off your shoes, have a piece of candy, take off your shirt!... I'm kidding!"
The young lawyer forced a smile as he laughed at her joke… Well, he hoped it was a joke. It was hard to tell with this girl. He made his way into the office and took a seat in front of her desk, accepting a mint from the candy dish she offered.
"So, what brings you here? Have you finally decided to take me up on that dinner offer?" The woman winked at him, causing Apollo to shiver. Somehow being flirted with by a woman nearing her 40's wasn't too appealing to Apollo. Even if she wasn't exactly hard on the eyes.
"Uh, no. I-I'm still gonna have to pass on that, Ms. Mesean. I actually-"
"Now Apollo, I've told you time and time again to call me Pam. But, I'll let it slide this time since you're such a little cutie."
Apollo felt his cheeks redden. "R-right. A-anyway… Pam. I was actually wondering if I could ask a favor of you."
"Anything for you, Polly-Wolly." She now appeared to be leaning forward, as if to accentuate her bosom. Which, again, was nice. But it only served to make Apollo more uncomfortable, his face turning one shade closer to a tomato.
"Uh, o-ok, well, um…" The lawyer was well aware he was stammering worse than Porky Pig at this point, but he really did need to ask her about this. "You see, I-I have a friend, a-and her birthday is coming up. And, well… I-I wanted to know…"
"Apollo, sweetie, you'll have to speak up." Pam said, then grinned. "Never thought I'd need to tell you to be louder."
God, he just needed to get this over with. "Look, my friend's birthday is next Saturday and I want to rent out the restaurant for a party."
Silence hung in the air for a moment as Pam processed this. Finally she spoke up.
"That's it?"
"H-Huh?"
Pam seemed to be laughing to herself as she swept a few hanging strands of her brunette hair behind her ear. "And here I was expecting you needed someone to help hide a body. Renting out the restaurant isn't something you need a favor from me for, Apollo. Let me just check the schedule and make sure there are no conflicts."
Apollo watched as the woman clacked away at the keyboard on her computer for a few moments.
"Uh oh." She said suddenly.
"Uh oh? I don't like the sound of that." Apollo replied.
"Well, you shouldn't. We're booked solid on parties next Saturday. Open to close, we'll be hosting parties." She turned away from the screen to look at Apollo once more. "Sorry Apollo, I'm not sure there's anything I can do."
The brown haired boy let out a dejected sigh. Well, there goes that plan…
"Unless…"
Apollo immediately looked back to his boss. "What is it? Is there something else you can do?"
"Well… Chase and Cole have both been asking me about getting a little overtime in. Tell me, how old is this friend of yours?"
"Well, she's turning 19. Is that a problem?"
He heard her let out a snort. "A party here for a 19 year old? Are you really sure about this?"
"Trust me, I know it sounds weird, but it's something I really think she'll enjoy." At least I hope otherwise I'll never live this down.
"Well, if you're sure… Anyway, if she's gonna be 19, I think we can make this work. Younger kids always have their parties here during the day, most of them having a bed time of some sort. However, since your friend is older, surely she could handle a late night party?"
"Late night? Wait, are you suggesting-"
"Yep. Since I like you and since Chase and Cole need the hours, I'm willing to leave the store open just for your friends party after we close. So, you and all your friends would have the run of the place till 1 am. Does that sound fair?"
"D-does it!? That works out perfect, Ms. Me- Er, I mean, Pam. Thank you so-"
Pam held up a well-manicured finger and wagged it at him. "Ah ah ah, not so fast, Mr. Justice. Before we shake on this, there's something I need you to do for me."
Oh God. Whatever she's about to say, I just pray it involves me keeping my clothes on.
"I'm well aware this was meant to be your last night working with us, Apollo. And, well, to be blunt, that puts me in a bit of a bind." Pam began to explain. "See, as I'm sure you know, we're rather short staffed here, and I haven't been able to get a replacement for you yet."
I have a sinking feeling I know where this is going.
"So here's my offer. I'll let you rent out the store after hours for next Saturday, but in exchange, you have to stay on for two more weeks. Not counting next weekend of course."
…Suddenly taking that dinner offer doesn't sound so bad.
"So, do we have a deal?"
Buzz buzz
*Click*
Hey Tiger, keep your schedule clear for after 9 pm next Saturday.
